


Dà Huī Láng

by No_Bark



Series: Dà Huī Láng [1]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom Oh Sehun, Drama, Hybrids, M/M, Romance, Top Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-08 22:05:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 101,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13467510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Bark/pseuds/No_Bark
Summary: Minseok is a cute little kitten, but also a big bad wolf. He is the grey wolf everyone in the cat clan is afraid of, but the lynx that no canine would allow in the wolf clan.Sehun, an arctic beta fox, the son of the most influential fox in the wolf clan, is no exception with a secret almost as horrible as Minseok's.





	1. Fiance

_"Another news report about the spreading corruption and worry that Da Hui Lang's attacks on our clan have caused. Yesterday during the midnight, witnesses have claimed to have seen the infamous wolf on his killing rampage. They were so terrified to have seen the wolf's midnight dark fur that they ran home immediately to protect themselves, and to contact authorities. No one knows who this wolf is or where they are located. Detective Park has taken this matter into his own hands to finally take this killer down. In an interview that a news reporter for The Feline newspaper filmed earlier this day, detective Park has revealed some of his research for the press. Here is a clip from the interview."_

  
The news on TV seem to only be about Da Hui Lang these days. The wolf among the cats. He's the big bad wolf every cat is afraid of. The rumors are that he's an agent for the wolf clan. But of course, Minseok never bought any of this bullshit. He knew Da Hui Lang personally.

The couch he's sitting on is shivering because of his mother. She is terrified and weeping. Minseok doesn't know what to say, how does she not know? He is her son after all, yet she knows nothing about him. This big part of him that he's trying to fight and hide.

 _"Detective Park, you have given your life for this research. Can you tell me, what clues are there about the wolf among us?"_ the journalist on the TV interviews the detective who looks like he knows something. Minseok shakes his head. He knows nothing.

_"It appears that Da Hui Lang attacks every full moon and usually at midnight. It is advised for everyone to stay inside during those hours. Another clue that we have is that he is male, physically very big and bulky, he has a midnight dark fur and he howls like any other wolf. However, it is not certain where he comes from and we have no clue whether he's a member of the wolf clan or not. The victims are usually not threats to the wolf or the cat clan. Cat clan and wolf clan have lived in peace for the past decade, and it would be politically a devastating hit if the wolf clan was behind all this or if we started to blame the wolf clan groundlessly, since the bear clan has been known to want our lands for themself. If our bond with the wolf clan breaks again... I am afraid that it might be the end for our feline clan. At least it would be the end of our freedom."_

"I can't", the mother cries and turns off the television. Minseok looks at her with sad eyes. She hugs her knees and cries, rocking back and forth. "I raised you... all of you" - Minseok and his three siblings who are sitting in the living room together - "to live in peace. I did not know... that something like this could ever happen. And I thought... that peace between our clans would have saved us from the bear clan, but what now? We're all going to be on their plates."

"No, mother", Minseok pats her back but she pushes his hand away. "The wolf clan will not fight us, as long as we don't blame them for this one wolf's actions."

"And how could we not blame them? He is a part of their clan. He's canine. He is a killer that's here to terrorize our clan. And the wolf clan must be held responsible for their actions."

"What if he's a lone wolf? Someone who's been cast out?" Chanyeol, Minseok's little brother, asks. The mother raises her hand.

"No. I can't accept that. As you know, your father... was eaten by a wolf. If something similar happens to any of you, I don't think I can handle it."

Minseok looks at the ground with a worried look on his face. What if his mother knew? Would he be cast out too? Where would he go? What would he do? Nowhere is safe for him. The woods might be okay when it's full moon, but for the rest of the time, he would be another wild animal's plaything.

Minseok barely remembers his father. He was eaten by a wolf when he was just a little kitten, 6 years old. The wolf who did it was never found, but Minseok has always feared the worst. He does not know where his wolf powers come from, but he faintly remembers his father whispering a word, _liber_ \- free -, before taking his final breath. His whole body was in scratch marks, he was clawed thoroughly. The stench that came from his dead body has never left Minseok's nostrils.

After everyone had heard the howls and the screams in the cellar, they rushed downstairs to find little Minseok sitting on the floor crying and his father lying face-down in a pool of blood. Minseok's mother had threw up immediately and cried her heart out. But to her surprise, he had a smile on his face when his heart was no longer beating.

He remembers all of that. But he does not remember the big bad wolf that had killed him. After his mother came down there to scream and cry, Minseok chanted the words, _"da hui lang."_ That's how his mother realized what had killed him.

The stories then began to spread among the clan and Minseok's mother told everyone everything that she knew - that all this was behind a big bad wolf. It took years before another victim was found dead. Everyone already knew about the wolf, so they started to believe in the mysterious myth. Minseok was twelve at the time and early in his puberty. The next five years after that he mostly hurt himself, but sometimes he found himself in the middle of the woods, all alone. Sometimes he noticed that he had killed someone.

One time, he was actually found sitting next to his victim after killing the poor tiger. He was crying in his cat form, but no one knew to suspect him. He was just a teenage omega lynx, not a threat to their society.

For the next three years after that, things were pretty easy. Sometimes Minseok didn't even transform during the full moon and he felt at ease. He felt he could finally control and manage the beast inside of him. When he did transform, he didn't remember anything that he did. He was sure to hear about it in the news, though.

But for the past year, he's been the worst nightmare of every member of the clan. He's been killing these felines like a maniac and he cannot control himself. He cannot be himself, because he doesn't know who he is.

Is he a wolf? Is he a lynx? Is he an alpha? Is he an omega? What does he want to do in the future? Who does he want to marry? A feline? A canine?

The silence in the room is unbearable.

"I... we, need to discuss about more important matters now. Yes, about Minseok's wedding", the mother raises her head and smiles painfully. Minseok tries to smile back a little bit. "The snow leopard you're supposed to marry is from a wealthy feline family. Just know that she is a good alpha and would never hurt you, okay honey?"

Minseok cringes. Just why exactly does he have to marry a dumb alpha anyway? He's fine being on his own. He's fine taking care of himself. 

But without thinking of anything controversial to say, he just grits his teeth and replies, "Yes, mother."

"Her father is a police officer... The head of the PD, actually. If you ever get in trouble, he'll surely be catching you", the mother jokes but this just makes Minseok's face lose all its' color. His siblings just laugh at him.

Chanyeol's big ears stick out from his head and he crawls to his big brother to whisper, "Have you done something? You look pale."

Minseok scoffs him off and stands up, straightening his clothes and fixing his hair as well as his big ears.

"I'm going to sleep now", he announces, but the mother quickly grabs his wrist. He turns around to look at her red eyes. He could see the pain and worry in them.

"Just know that she is a good alpha. She will take care of you. She will protect you. No wolf is going to land their finger on you as long as you are with her", she explains and Minseok fights the urge to roll his eyes.

"I will keep that in mind." His voice sounds monotone. He's already taking a step further but only to be turned around by his mother again. He's really fighting the urge to roll his eyes very badly.

"You're going to see her tomorrow. Wouldn't want you to be all strangers in the wedding night, right?" the mother smiles faintly. Minseok cringes and it's written on his face. This makes the mother worried. "You are not the only one getting an arranged marriage. Me and your father had, and all of your siblings are going to have one too."

Now all of their heads pop up and they look at their mother with wide eyes.

"You got to be kidding me!" Irene, Minseok's younger sister whines. She's a beta. Chanyeol is an omega. And then, finally, Minseok's youngest brother, Kyungsoo, is an alpha. The only alpha remaining in the family. _Or so they think._

"You can't say you didn't know!" the mother yells. 

"We did not know!" Chanyeol shouts. The mother now hides her face in embarrassment. "This means we can't make jokes about Minseok-hyung since we're going to have the same destiny!"

Chanyeol seems to be very distressed about this. He doesn't like the thought of himself being with an alpha. He is totally like a kid, so pairing him up with anybody would feel morally wrong.

Minseok takes a deep breath and starts walking away from the living room.

"I'm going now", he says with a bored voice. The mother pats his back before he leaves.

"Just remember to wear nice clothes and smell okay to your new alpha!" the mother says but after her son is out of sight, she bites her nails in distress. None of them could deny the scent of a wolf inside their home. It has been there since the day of the father's death.

Minseok pops down on his bed. His head has started to ache. Like every time after the full moon, days after his transformation. He's probably going to kill his own fiance. No one wants that.

But all the things his father told him all those years ago, he remembers very faintly. It's like he wasn't supposed to be feeling like a wolf since his birth. He was born as a cat. He felt like a cat. An obedient, omega cat. But after what his father did to him, he changed. He changed into an aggressive alpha wolf. And everybody expected him to be a cute little kitten. His school didn't go well because of his identity crisis. He couldn't study because his head was hurting all the time and he could not focus on anything. So he finally dropped out from school. It's almost as if the only thing he's good for anymore is breeding. His new wife would just make him pregnant and have her kittens - but he doesn't want to! The idea of him being subjugated like that makes him disgusted! He's not an omega, at least... not anymore.

The moon is shining. At least it's not full moon. Every full moon when it's midnight is another hell for Minseok.

***

The sun rises and the morning is anew. Minseok feels like he's one with the bed. His mother walks to his room to open the curtains, and to scream into his ear, "Rise and shine sleeping beauty! Your fiance is waiting for you."

She talks with such a positive note on her voice. Minseok drags his legs out of the bed but the rest of his body stays tightly under the covers. He feels like dying both mentally and physically.

"You groan like an angry wolf in the mornings. I don't like that", the mother huffs. Minseok blinks tiredly and slowly. Oh, if she knew what kind of an angry wolf he is.

"Don't you like the idea of me being a wolf?" he asks, more as a joke, but his mother becomes dead serious. She stops everything she's doing and just stares at the ground.

"No. Don't you ever joke about things like that. Now get up and dress up so you can meet your fiance."

"Whatever", Minseok sighs and obeys his mother. She'll never know.

He puts on a black hoodie and blue jeans after his mother walks out of his room. He stares at himself in the mirror, wondering how could anyone see him as a cat. He is rather obviously a wolf, and an alpha. He has the scent of an alpha wolf. How could they still treat him like an omega kitten?

He pulls up his hood and hides his tail. Now no one would be able to tell the difference between him and a _real_ canine.

A light bulb then suddenly lights on his head. If no one is going to treat him like an alpha wolf here because of his tail and ears and the light blue omega mark on his hand, then what if he covered all of those and went to the wolf territory? No one would be able to tell the difference!

Maybe some day... but today is not the day. He has to meet his fiance and get ready for her. So he puts some perfume on himself to seem and smell more like an omega. Like his mother told him many years ago, he should always spray this on himself because of his strong, unwanted scent - no alpha wants to be with an omega who smells and seems fearsome.

That is why Minseok's mother has always been so worried about her son ever finding love. Hence the forced marriages. Forced love.

Minseok walks out of his room, pulling down his hood and swinging his hips, looking and smelling like the most wanted omega ever. His mother looks at him from head to toes and smiles proudly. Now he's the beautiful omega she thought she gave birth to.

He feels disgusted at himself and his mother.

Already missing the warmth of his bed and the covers. 

"She is going to love you", she states when patting Minseok's shoulder and smiling at him. He tries to smile back but it looks, and is, forced.

"I hope so." Uh, no he doesn't.

The mother wraps her arm around Minseok's back and leads him out of the front door. At the back of his head, he just wishes for death. 

The wind starts playing with Minseok's hair and makes it a mess. Well, he didn't do anything special to them, just combed his hand through them, so it's not like it's the end of the world. It bothers him, though.

It's a bit chilly, but nothing the cats couldn't handle. It's autumn, the favorite season of Minseok's. His fiance is a snow leopard, so she probably likes winter.

The mother opens the car door for her son and smiles faintly, nodding slightly to show him that it's going to be alright. Only if she knew... Minseok cannot stop wondering how would she react. Those loving eyes would soon be replaced with... Anger? Fear? Disappointment? He's not sure.

He sits in the car on the comfy seat and looks out at their own detached house in the small suburb. He's glad to have lived in an own house with his family, where the nearest neighbor is at least fifty meters away. It's more own space than many members of the cat clan can have. And all this is thanks to his father.

***

Minseok looks up at the huge mansion before him. Is this going to be his one day after he's married his alpha?

Now, being an omega doesn't sound so bad after all. Maybe he could hide his real self for a little while longer - or maybe for the rest of his life. Things would be easier that way, never mind the identity crisis and depression that it brings with it.

Now taking a deep breath of the fresh air, Minseok feels anxiety hit him. A few more years of this hiding, when will he be free? Chances are he might just have to pretend for the rest of his life for the sake of his mother. She would be so devastated about the truth...

Three cats rush out of the door. Three snow leopards. Their fur is white and dotted. Their ears are rounded, unlike Minseok and his mother's ears that are pointed and have small tussles at the tips, just like any lynx.

The lawn is mowed and neat. Another cat is cutting the hedges. They don't seem to care about the other cats standing at the door, greeting each other with kisses and hand shakes.

Minseok stands before his fiance. She is beautiful, yes. A beautiful alpha. But she seems to be very shy and awkward, just like the omega before her. To be honest, Minseok has no idea what is supposed to happen. Their parents are still the ones to do the talking for them, them, 20-year-old adults.

"It's nice to finally meet Biyu in person", Minseok's mother exhilarates, looking at the young and beautiful alpha with a smile on her face. The leopard, Biyu, blushes. Her parents just smile and nod.

"It is nice to finally meet your son, too", the leopard mother says, holding her hands on her chest. Minseok fights back the urge to say, _"It is not nice to finally meet you."_

But this isn't so much about him. Yes, it's his marriage and all, but this is about his mother. She wants him to get married, so that no one would see him as an omega that nobody wants because he is so incapable and worthless.

Yes, that's an actual mindset. You just have to have an alpha to cling onto if you're an omega. If you date another omega, you're just being desperate.

Minseok never understood the point of that. This society was fucked and doomed to kill itself from the inside. At least from his point of view.

The leopards open the door for the two lynx and get inside after them. The white entrance hall is big and spacious, some very expensive paintings hanging on the wall and sculptures displayed on some sort of plinths. The contents of this entrance hall are probably worth more than Minseok's home.

He contemplates life choices. The life of lies might very well be the answer for him. 

The three lead Minseok and his mother to the dining room. A table made of glass is standing in the middle of the room, eight chairs rounding it. A candlestick is standing in the middle of the table and all the seven candles are lit.

All the five of them sit at the table. Minseok sits next to his mother and before his fiance. The mother is sitting across the leopard father and the leopard mother is sitting next to him, turned a little to the lynx mother's direction. They look at each other with faint smiles, but Minseok and his fiance are far from smiling. They're tense and scared.

"Oh, I remember the awkwardness of being around my fiance with my parents", Minseok's mother remembers. She sighs dreamily. The parents chuckle at her.

"Maybe the youth wants to go somewhere more private?" the father suggests. "Maybe the living room?"

Minseok is terrified, but if he has to live the rest of his life with her, he might as well man up and talk to her. The two turn their heads slowly to look at each other. And they both take a deep breath. Minseok feels like he could faint because of the awkwardness that could literally be touched in the air.

"Yes, go to the living room", the lynx mother encourages. Minseok and Biyu glance at each other again before Minseok takes the initiative to get up. Biyu follows. But this is her home, so it's her who has to lead the way to the living room.

The sound of the parents enjoying their time together without the two of them are already echoing through the whole mansion. Minseok sits down at the red silky couch in the living room and his fiance sits right next to him. The whole living room is decorated with soothing red colors.

Biyu seems very shy. She looks down at her lap and massages her thighs.

"My name is Minseok. I guess you already knew that, Biyu", Minseok speaks up first. To his surprise, she doesn't want to start this conversation with light familiarizing.

"I have to get this out of the way..." she says and looks up at him in the eyes. "You smell like an alpha."

Well that did not surprise Minseok. He just looks down to dismiss her judgemental gaze.

"Are you really an omega? Or are you just... pretending to be one so you could share my legacy?"

"I have an omega brother", he suggests. "Who might be more suitable for you, if you want to be with a real omega. I smell like an alpha, and I really can't do anything about it. I guess it's just a hormonal thing or something."

"...That's a very nice offer from you..." she smiles but becomes awkward immediately. "But I am not actually attracted to omegas. I really like other alphas. My father and mother are very much against the whole idea of two alphas being together. Because I couldn't get children that way... They're so traditional. I haven't told them. But if I have to marry an omega, then I am glad that he at least reminds me of an alpha. U-unless you don't want to be an alpha..."

Minseok smiles widely to her and takes her hand in his. She blushes immediately and so does he.

"I love to be called an alpha, actually. I believe that our marriage is going to be okay."

She looks up at him and smiles very faintly. 

The most awkward thing about this whole ordeal is that this wasn't their decision. Their parents literally decided what they do with their life, their marriage, their future. Makes them feel like objects. But an object cannot be depressed and have an identity crisis... right?

 


	2. Beta

Trees go by with flashes. Minseok's vision is blurred and his whole body aches. He needs to howl and let out this pain in some way or another.

Why won't he listen to him?! Why won't the wolf within him try to behave?! Why can't he control the transformation and the thirst for blood?!

The grey alpha wolf is powerful, way more powerful than the omega lynx.

When Minseok is far enough from the cat clan, he collapses on the ground. It's dark, but the full moon is guiding his way. The woods are hollow. No one is around here. This path leads to the bear clan, Minseok knows it - but he takes the risk to be eaten alive by the bears rather than to tear apart his own family again.

Oh yes, he remembers it now. He remembers it so clearly. The way his father screamed but kept it in, because behold - this is the accomplishment of his sick research. A fucking werewolf.

What was he thinking?! Minseok's mind is filled with anger again. This loneliness! He wants to be in his pack with the wolves he would call his family! He wants to be around wolves! He wants to be loved by a canine!

So he sits on the ground and leans his back against a tree to howl, heaving rapidly. He howls so loud that he's sure that everyone can hear it - from the cat clan to the wolf clan, from the bear clan to the elk clan - everyone now knows where he's located.

Why did it have to be him?! Why did it have to be _his_ father?! Why couldn't he be a normal lynx, or at least a normal grey wolf?! What has he ever done wrong to deserve this pain?!

The midnight dark fur starts to grow out from his skin. He's slowly turning into his animal form. His eyes turn yellow and the mark on the back of his hand does so, too. The blue omega's mark on his hand is now yellow, the mark of an alpha. Because he is an alpha wolf.

The excruciating pain both mentally and physically make Minseok whine and howl at the same time. Could there be anyone here to end his misery? He wouldn't mind the bear clan eating him alive right now.

But right then he hears it - movement in the bushes. He raises his ears and listens more intently. All his senses are heightened. He hears everything better and he sees everything better in the darkness. He feels the things around him better. And he hurts way more.

A brown bear jumps from behind the bushes, roaring at his face. Minseok growls at him. There is no time for pain. There is no time for self-pity. He so often promises to end his own life or let someone else take it, but when the moment would come, he doesn't want to let go. Maybe it's just that he wants to kill rather than to be killed - or at least kill with a challenge.

The brown bear roars again before sprinting towards Minseok. Minseok dodges and then runs behind the bear to bite him from his side. The bear roars from the pain and tries to hit the wolf, but to no avail. The wolf is too quick. In the darkness, he's almost impossible to be seen from his dark fur.

Then he hits and bites the bear again. And again.

And again.

The bear turns into his human form. He's an alpha bear, a tall young man. Minseok tells the wolf to calm down, to leave the young alpha bear alone - he didn't know what kind of fate was waiting for him.

But to his surprise, the bear huffs, "Please kill me."

Minseok, still in his animal form, tilts his head. He barely heard it from the tinnitus in his ears. The bear sits up against the tree that Minseok just leaned on.

"...We... have a tradition... for every adult alpha to hunt the hide of a wild wolf... The bigger the beast, the greater the glory... But, no beast, no glory... No rank of an alpha... You have bested me, a brown bear, wolf... I cannot show up like this to my clan..."

Minseok barely heard any of this. He sniffs the bear from head to toes. The wolf in him doesn't want the poor bear to continue living. He thirsts for blood, finally biting the bear's neck and his head off. To his surprise, the bear is silent at the moment of his death.

Traitors! _He's_ a traitor! _He_ made his own son a monster! A beast! No one can save him! He's a maniac! He is going to kill everyone!

Why did his father do this? Yet again he's killing an innocent human being. Or, this time, an innocent bear-human being who was just practicing the traditions of his clan.

What about the bear's parents? His loved ones? His potential partner waiting for him to come back from the woods with a wolf's hide at the gate? A wild wolf's hide. Why did he think Minseok is wild? What a disgrace!

But this is the ugly truth... he is a savage in his wolf-form. Nobody can tame him, not even himself. He hurts, he can't speak. He can't think clearly. All he can think of is his father and his sick research.

***

"I heard about da hui lang recently... he killed a brown bear", Minseok's mother sobs while looking out the window to see the raindrops sliding against the glass. There Minseok is sitting again, in the kitchen with his mother. He's been spending a lot of time with her because of the wedding plans. For snow leopards want to marry during winter, the lynx have decided to fulfill their wish.

Minseok looks at his mother's back with distant and cold eyes. He wants to ask something but is afraid to, scared of his mother's reaction. She's known to hate the wolves and even a word about any canine makes her flinch.

He decides to go for it, however.

"What's the wolf clan like?" Because Minseok had to drop out from school, he never got to learn about the other clans. They weren't talked about before high school, but Minseok never went to high school. He's killed his time by helping his mother and her friends with all kinds of works, mostly physical. He hasn't been paid well for his job, because the felines appreciate experience and education. Since Minseok doesn't have a degree, no employer wants to pay him well. Most won't even consider hiring him. He's truly blessed to have a mother with so many connections.

Hearing her son ask about the wolf clan makes the mother squint her eyes. She slowly turns around to look at her son in the eyes with her own black ones. She sighs deeply. Of course she knows that he must be curious. She must answer his questions that he never got answers to from school.

"Wolves are... a bunch of savages. Wolf clan does not progress. They live like beasts. As you know, our clan is lead by cat-humans whose ancestors were usually domestic cats. They are sophisticated, clean, well-behaved, intelligent, and most of all... lazy. That's why the progress in technology and society that the other clans don't have. Wolf clan is lead by grey, arctic and Arabian wolves. Not domestic dogs. If the wolf clan was dog clan instead, they would most probably be like us. Well-behaved. Sophisticated. Less like animals and more like humans", she explains and her son listens intently, his eyes widened. This is all new to him, information that he never even dared to ask.

"But they could progress if they wanted to, right?" he asks, batting his eyelashes innocently. His mother smiles at him faintly.

"Yes, they could. They have a bit. But not to the same extent as we have. Wolves don't have phones, like we have. Maybe they just howl to know where the others are", the mother tries to joke but Minseok doesn't get it. "However, I do believe that the social issues among our clan are much greater than the wolf clan's. They are slowly embracing equality between alphas, omegas and betas. I don't think something like this could even be discussed here."

"...You hate the wolf clan, don't you?" Minseok asks with a faint voice. The mother turns around again to look outside. Counting the raindrops on the window.

"...Yes. I do. After what they did to your father and-", she stops speaking and just sighs deeply before continuing. "... I don't think I could ever forgive them."

"They mustn't all be like that. Like... savages... and beasts."

When hearing those words leave her son's lips, she turns around and takes a few steps forward to him without saying a word. Finally she raises her hand to point her finger at him.

"Don't you ever say anything like that. Don't you ever talk about the wolf clan like you could ever find something peaceful from there. They're killers, they're rapists, they're... beasts."

With those words, she just ends the conversation and sits at the table to gather all the names of the guests who are going to be there at the wedding from their side of the family.

Minseok shuts up. He decides to never ask about the wolf clan from his mother again. God knows what kind of bullshit she might say next. Needless to say that Minseok doesn't believe in her biased view of the wolf clan, never has.

_He needs to see it himself._

"Have you talked to Biyu whether you want red or blue roses?" the mother suddenly asks, getting her son's head down from the clouds. She has a concerned look on her face when seeing him so down again. He's been depressed for so long that everyone in the house are starting to get affected by it. They have tried going to doctors but no one has found anything wrong, and psychiatrists have only prescribed him anti-depressants. Those made him feel like a robot, though, so he stopped. Now he's just trying to survive every day with his mother.

Maybe his mother is the cause of his depression. She can be a manipulative bitch at times.

"Hey", she starts when taking his hand in her own and making a direct eye-contact with him. "Once you get married with Biyu, you no longer have to worry about anything, okay? She is a good alpha. She will take care of you. You don't even have to work if you don't want to, or if you can't."

"If I am as worthless as you and your friends have said, then why would they have accepted me to be their daughter's fiance in the first place?" Minseok wonders. This just makes the mother more troubled.

"She's... a bit different. A little bit different from the other alphas. She's a good alpha, like I have said many times, but to be honest, the parents have suggested that there is something wrong with her. That she likes... other alphas", she tells her son, who is not very impressed by this information that he already knew about.

"She told me. She likes alphas." Now the mother starts smiling again.

"I told them that you have a very strong scent of an alpha. I believe that that is the reason why they accepted the marriage."

Minseok tries to smile too, but also very faintly. Talking about things like these just make him feel more hollow, more invisible. Like his mother's hand that is touching his hand was not really there - caressing an empty shell without a core, it's an illusion.

"So... about the roses..." the mother forcefully tries to change the subject. Shoot. Minseok felt for a moment that she really cares about him.

"We have not talked about the roses."

"Do you ever message each other about your wedding?" the mother scoffs, but Minseok shakes his head.

"We barely know each other. So we just... talk about life."

This however, makes the mother happy again.

"I'm so glad to hear that you're bonding. I believe that she can be there every time you're feeling down."

Minseok doubts that. Biyu is already busy with college and stress, so she won't probably have too much time to spend with him. When she's not studying at the college, she's attending evening classes or helping her mother with their business. She's going to be the successor of her mother's well-known IT company.

What about when she's graduated after a few years? She'll be so busy with work that she won't even notice her husband's existence. She'll only make Minseok pregnant and leave him with the kittens.

That makes Minseok shudder. Will he ever get to feel what it's like to be genuinely loved?

He doesn't reply, just stares at his mother in the eyes for a moment before the front door is opened and then slammed shut. It's only 2 in the afternoon as Minseok's little sister runs into the kitchen. Her cheeks are red and she's breathing heavily, like she had just ran here.

Their mother looks at her daughter with wide eyes, surprised to see her here.

"Honey, shouldn't you be in college right now?" she wonders. Minseok turns to look at Irene too. Her heavy breathing bothers him.

"I-I... have something to tell you", the daughter announces with a stuttering voice. She's very nervous. Minseok could tell that she has something very big to tell them.

"Sure, honey, you can tell me anything." That is not true, and Minseok knows it. Their mother never listens to her daughter. Just because she is a beta.

"S-since you told us... that we would have an arranged marriage too, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol have been looking for the right partner feverishly. Because they want to marry from love", she explains, trying her hardest not to sound like she's scared and anxious. Their mother motions for her to go on. Minseok takes a better position in his seat, he has a feeling that he knows where this conversation is going, and he doesn't like the idea of his mother and sister fighting again. It happens way too often already. "Well, I... I have already found that person who I want to marry. We have kept this a secret for almost two years now. But I just can't hide it anymore from you."

The mother just stares at her daughter with widened eyes, a moment of silence passes by. Minseok can see her sister almost fainting.

"That's great, I'm happy for you. Who is that lucky beta?"

That's when Irene's head drops.

"A-actually, she's... she's an omega..."

"Oh." That's the only response she gets from their mother as seconds pass by. This is so awkward. "Well, I am afraid you have to break up."

And without further ado, she just turns around to write down their relatives' names, totally ignoring the girl who stares at her with her lips quivering. Minseok feels bad for his sister. Would the mother say the same if he had fallen in love with a beta or an omega before getting an arranged marriage with Biyu?

Though, when the mother suggested an arranged marriage, he didn't decline. He just said okay. He doesn't have to do any work for it and he gets away from his mother - that's just a win, right?

And away from his siblings, stopping the fear of killing one of them.

"Mom... M-mom, I cannot break up with her. I love her."

"Shut up. You're a beta. So you do what betas are supposed to do - silently obey omegas and alphas, because you don't matter at all to the existence of our clan." Her way of thinking is very out-of-date. Betas are unable to reproduce, so they are thought of as worthless by many alphas and omegas. It's a disgrace if any feline beta would date an omega or an alpha.

Irene's lips quiver and she tries to bat away the tears from her eyes, but to no avail. The warm tears roll down her cheeks.

"But my friends are dating and they're both omegas. They have even got their parents' blessings."

"Just because your friends don't think about our society, doesn't mean that you should do so, too. If you marry this omega, that means that an alpha won't marry her and have kittens with her. Don't push for a change in our society for your political reasons, Irene. There are too many betas already."

Irene presses her hand against her chest and tries to keep in the sobs. The mother won't look at her when she's crying, and she certainly doesn't want to hear it. Minseok looks at her with very sad eyes from head to toes. He feels bad for her sister.

"I don't... give a shit about politics, mom... I care about that I love her..." she bawls. Minseok stands up, walks to her side and pats her shoulder to make her feel slightly better.

"I believe that there is a way to make it work, if your omega would be willing to have kittens with an alpha. I've heard of couples like that. And I have heard about divorced omegas and alphas who later on decided to settle down with a beta. It happens, mom, and it's just love. There is nothing political about love", Minseok defends his sister who now looks up at him with admiration. He may be thought of as dumb since he never went to high school let alone college, but he is aware of the political climate around their clan. Just because he cannot hit the books doesn't mean he cannot watch and learn.

The mother doesn't reply anything, just keeps on writing the names. After a minute has passed in the silence, only Irene's sobs echoing in the air, Minseok announces, "I am going to talk with Irene now."

He takes a hold of her hand and leads her to his own bedroom. Irene and Minseok have their own bedrooms, as well as the mother, but the youngest brothers have to share their room. It's a good thing they get along well. Irene has her own room because she's female, and Minseok has his own room because he's the oldest and most troubled, needing his own personal space. If that wasn't case, he would most likely be sharing the room with Chanyeol, his omega brother.

Irene can't stop crying even after they're reached Minseok's room and sat on the bed. She immediately glues on her big brother's side and doesn't let go, crying against his chest. He softly caresses her hair and tries to make her feel better.

"Hugging you always felt so weird... because you smell like an alpha..." Irene states. Minseok just nods. "But it doesn't matter which one you are. I am a beta, so I shouldn't even be touching you."

"It's bullshit", Minseok exclaims with determination, now hugging the air out of his sister. "You are my sister, and I can hug you as much as I want to, no matter what your status is. Don't let mom make choices for you, make your own choices. In the end, she's not living your life. So love who you love. Kiss who you want to kiss. Marry who you want to marry. And be proud to be born a beta."

Irene grabs his clothes and clenches the fabric tightly in her fists.

"B-but you don't understand what it's like... to hear, wherever you go, that you are the reason why the bear clan will overpower us... to have people look at your hand and smell you, just to know you're a beta, so they could belittle and mock you... because you cannot make babies..."

Minseok doesn't know the feeling. But he knows the feeling of people treating him like a freak because of his smell. He cannot do anything else than listen to his sister cry.

"I don't think a feline's worth can be measured by how many kittens they can make, but by the courage of their actions. Many, many betas have improved our living conditions. They are people, just like any of us. Many of my doctors have been betas. Many of my friends, too. They may not be having babies, so that's why they have so much more time to do other things than to babysit - to help people, to create beautiful things, to study, to spend time with their families and friends. To be honest, I might be a little jealous of you. You will have much more time with... everything, while I have to... just give her kittens..."

Irene now cries a little less, so Minseok is relieved.

"...I know, you didn't go to school", she sobs. "But sometimes I cannot but admire how smart you are. You know how to listen. You know how to... be a human."

He hums slightly, not knowing what to reply. It is true, he knows how to listen and he knows how to be a human.

But only when it's not the full moon and he's not contemplating suicide.

 

_______________

_A/N: Feline betas cannot reproduce at all, so traditionally they are not accepted as an omega's or an alpha's partner. If a large number of the population are betas, that means that the population is decreasing. (It's not the same with the wolf clan.) Two omegas shouldn't date either, neither should two alphas, since they cannot reproduce like that._


	3. Wedding

Biyu sits before the window and looks outside. Ah, the snow. She loves the snow. Minseok knows this by now. He knows many things about his fiance after months of getting to know her. One thing he doesn't know is if he loves her or not, or if she loves him. He doesn't really feel anything when looking at her. He feels like they have become friends, but that's about it. He cannot have the romantic feelings towards her even if he forced himself to, or if he wanted to.

Overall, Biyu is very fun and nice to be around with. Unlike many other people Minseok has encountered in his life, like his mother's friends. Those are just the worst.

To be honest, he cannot wait to live here without his mother always breathing down his neck. This living room is so nice that he could already imagine himself setting down an easel before the huge window and paint all day long. Of course, he doesn't know how to paint, but he will have time and space to do whatever the hell he wants when his mother is no longer around.

"It must be exhausting to plan our wedding and study at the college at the same time", Minseok points out. Biyu slowly nods her head. The circles under her eyes are getting darker.

"It is exhausting. To be honest, Minseok, I don't think I would mind having the wedding at summer. You know that I love snow, but..." She takes a deep breath. "I just don't feel like anything right now."

"I hear you", Minseok sympathizes, now looking down at his lap. "I don't feel like anything right now, either."

***

It's only a month for the wedding, and Minseok lays on his bed, wondering whether he should do this or not. He has been planning this for months now, after asking his mother about the wolf clan and asking some things from his siblings, too. 

But the hard part is to actually get there. Who would take him there? And for what reason? It's not some tourist attraction. Traveling between the clans is strictly forbidden and next to impossible.

He takes his phone from his pocket and opens up a new private window to search about the wolf clan online. He finds a whole wiki about it. Apparently they have their own internet and network that is in no way connected with the other clans. To his surprise, all of the clans have their own internet connections that block every websites that are accessible in other clans. There are rumors about websites that are not accessible in any clan because of their controversy, but are accessible in no man's lands. 

Minseok thought before that there wasn't that much censorship, but now he's changed his mind. There is a lot of censoring between the clans. Maybe not within the clan so much, but the other clans.

Now he wonders whether he should leave before the wedding, or wait for a while after the wedding. Maybe after, when no one is no longer babysitting him and looking for him.

Yes, he decides to wait. In the meantime he can search more information about the wolf clan and how to get in their territory. All the clan territories are rounded with fences, so the wild animals from the forests or other clans wouldn't get in their territory.

As he searches more, he finds a way to get there. Apparently there are some taxis that are willing to take people from clan to clan. They have their own permits.

Of course it's illegal. If Minseok was to do this legally, he would have to ask a permit from the clan leader personally. He does not want to go through all that trouble, and to pay so much! It's way cheaper to pay the taxi driver.

Besides, it's not like he's going to visit there often... right? Just this once, to see what it would be like to be a _real_ wolf in _real_ wolf clan territory. He has his scent, so if he just hides his short tail in his pants, wears a fingerless glove on his left hand and a beanie on his head, no one will be able to tell he's an omega lynx.

He's nervous and excited at the same time about his trip. He finally has something to look forward to in his life. 

***

As the wedding gets closer, Minseok's fiance becomes more stressed and more tense. Minseok himself isn't so stressed, but it may be because he's spending most of his days on laptop not doing particularly anything than watch some dramas. Sometimes he goes to work if he has one and spends time with his siblings.

"Do you even know how many people there will be?" Biyu asks when walking around in a circle.

"It's less than one hundred, Biyu."

"That's a lot of people!"

"Some people have weddings with over one thousand guests."

This doesn't make Biyu any less calm. Their wedding isn't that much of a big deal. At least the celebration isn't. But what about when they have to move Minseok's things to Biyu's home and make babies?! That's what makes Minseok the most nervous.

Though he has noticed that Biyu is very stressed around a lot of people. She's very introverted, very anxious in social situations and would rather avoid them.

So much for that new CEO. She'll die in stress.

Biyu sits down on the couch right next to Minseok and starts crying. He can't do anything else than pat her back. It's only a week to their wedding, and she's having a breakdown.

"It will all go well, Biyu." But he cannot deny the anxiety in himself, too.

***

When it is finally their wedding day, Minseok is more than ready to move away from his mother's house. He will miss his siblings, but he will visit them often, he already promised to do so. They will also visit him at his new wife's house.

Everything has been going well up until this point. The wedding has started, Minseok and Biyu are sitting at a table where they have nice red roses in a vase. The wedding is held at a local restaurant that they rented for this purpose. The food is going to be excellent.

Both their relatives are coming in from the front door. They leave their jackets at the door to racks and then walk to the couple, place their gift on the table next to the couple and congratulate them with a smile on their face. Minseok and Biyu can't even name half of their own relatives.

Minseok notices Biyu getting more and more tense. Her hands are sweating and shaking, she doesn't seem to be able to relax at all. He just places his hand on her thigh and smiles a little bit, but this doesn't help the wife at all. The priest would be here soon to bless them into their marriage, and the idea of that makes both of them flinch. They aren't exactly religious, but this is a tradition that their parents want.

After all the guests have come to the restaurant, the priest comes to them to bless them in marriage and they kiss each other for the first time. Minseok doesn't feel anything in the kiss. Just lips touching each other.

But after half an hour has passed, Biyu is still tense. When her mother comes to talk to her, she totally flips her shit, turns the table and yells at her from the bottom of her lungs. She blames the mother for never caring about her, only thinking about herself and money. Everyone is staring at them, and then Biyu runs out of the restaurant with tears in her eyes, wailing loudly.

The parents decide to end the wedding there but tell the guests that they could spend however much time they want in the restaurant. Minseok is not going to stay. He's going to move his stuff from his house to his new house. And hopefully, during this day, he gets to see his new wife, too.

Just as he and his mother are moving the boxes into the mansion, they hear a lot of screaming and yelling and crying coming from the dining room. The parents are not very pleased about what Biyu did at the wedding, so they scold her and yell at her.

Minseok doesn't want to eavesdrop, but it's rather hard to pretend that screaming is whispering. So he places his boxes in the living room, not sure where he's supposed to move them. To Biyu's room? He is not exactly sure.

They stand there at the dining room with his mother, looking at the poor snow leopard girl being yelled at by her parents. They try to show that they're deeply sorry for what happened, but Minseok's mother is actually kind of happy about everything that took place today. That was by far the most dramatic wedding she's ever been to, and also the shortest one. That's just two pluses.

"You never even care what I want to do! You never care about my life! All you can think of is yourselves!" Biyu screams at them before running away to her own room upstairs, her long white hair waving as she runs. The mother tries to grab her, but Minseok stands in front of her so Biyu could run away.

The mother glares at her new son-in-law.

"Let her go. She just wants to be alone. She's got so much stress that she can't handle all of this right now", Minseok tries to calm down the mother who has tears rolling down her cheeks as well. She holds her head and sits down at the table, crying audibly. The father sits next to her, rubbing her shoulders gently.

Minseok's mother doesn't want to interrupt this sad moment, but she has places to be.

"Where will Minseok move to? Biyu's room?" she asks. The father shakes his head.

"We had another daughter", he speaks up, not looking at anyone. The mother takes a hold of her husband's hand to prevent him from saying anything more, but he whispers, "They have to know."

Minseok takes a better position, he knows there's a story to be told. Biyu's father is never exactly emotional, but now his face is looking like he's about to cry.

"...Her name was Fenhua. She was an omega, a little younger than Biyu. When our daughters were still children, they used to play together every day. While other siblings didn't get along, our girls did. When Fenhua turned 15, she was kidnapped by a few alphas a few years older than her. We looked for her for days, and after a month passed by, we finally found her. But... she was no longer breathing."

Now the father himself bursts in tears, hiding his face.

"You can take... Fenhua's room. It's the left one to Biyu's. She probably wants to be alone for a while. After you two know each other better, you can finally move to the same room", the mother explains, trying to smile a little bit. Minseok returns the smile and nods his head. His mother comes with him to move the boxes from the living room.

Fenhua's room is spacious and empty. There's only a bed frame, a closet in the corner of the room, a desk with a chair before it and curtains before the window as well as a lamp in the ceiling, nothing else. The desk and the closet contain nothing. The snow leopard family has already changed new sheets on Minseok's new bed. The room has been cleaned thoroughly, no dust anywhere. The walls are soothing ocean blue color and the floor is dark wood, ceiling white.

Minseok's mother claps her hands together once before taking her son's stuff and placing it on the floor. She hands him the folded clothes and Minseok takes them to the closet, placing them in an order that is easy to maintain. He puts his laptop on the desk and fills the drawers with his notebooks and pencils and some more official and important documents, like his birth certificate.

"This could be a nice place to live in", the mother speaks up, now looking at her son with sad eyes. "I know that we won't live far away from each other, but... I just... I will miss not having you around anymore."

"Mom, I will be around", Minseok assures when decorating the walls with some posters about his favorite dramas and singers. "I will visit you every week or even more often, especially in the beginning. I just go to sleep here."

"But you have to be here every time Biyu wants you to. It's your duty, as an omega, to serve your alpha. You will get used to it, and maybe you will even enjoy it", the mother tries to tell him, but Minseok is very sure that he won't like serving anybody. "Biyu is busy with school and work and all of that right now, but one day she will be more present in your life. It was the same thing with your father. In the end, he was very involved in your lives, especially... yours."

Now the mother places a hand on her chest and takes a deep breath. Minseok doesn't want to pay any attention to her, just take the stuff from her hands and put it in its' right place.

"I don't want to cry. This should be a happy day for all of us, but..." she takes a deep breath again. "I don't know. I guess I'm just emotional because my baby boy is a grown-up already. Making his own decisions, living his own life. And he won't need mommy anymore to tell him how to be a good omega."

Then, just like that, she starts crying, burying her face in her hands. Minseok has seen so much crying today that it just doesn't affect him at all anymore. He doesn't feel emotional - all he can think of is his trip to the wolf clan.

Just as he's thinking about it, he hears his phone bling. He just got a message from the taxi driver.

_'All set. I will be at the park next week's Wednesday, this hour. Getting to the clan's territory is a two-hour drive and 30 minutes from that we have reached the city. I will book a motel room for you for a week, and after you have spent the week in the motel, I will get you back to the cat clan. We will discuss about the details later if you want to visit other clans or if you want to visit this clan again. We will discuss about the cost and the terms of this trip during the drive. -W'_

Minseok does not pay any attention to his mother anymore when he reads the message. She just wails about losing her son, nothing special.

He doesn't reply to the text for safety reasons. Okay. He has to spend a week in the wolf clan's territory. That's okay, right? But what will he say to his mother and his siblings, and most of all, what will he say to Biyu? That he's working? All night long? The day he's leaving the wolf clan's territory is when the full moon shines. He just has to leave in the morning that day, so nothing bad will happen to the taxi driver.

He's taken aback from his thoughts when the mother suddenly pulls him into a hug and cries for five minutes through.

"My baby omega won't need me anymore. But what about my other baby omega? What about my baby alpha? I cannot teach him to be an alpha. Who could teach him?" she cries. Minseok only thinks to himself, _"What about your baby beta?"_

Of course he doesn't say it, cause of course the mother doesn't care.

After about twenty minutes of crying and hugging, the mother finally leaves the house. Minseok is so exhausted about everything that's happened today so he goes straight to bed. Tomorrow better be a better day.

He falls asleep with all of his clothes on and a smile on his face when thinking about the wolf clan and his upcoming trip.

 


	4. Wolfgang

"Are you Minseok? The lynx?" a man from a taxi asks when seeing a man with a black beanie and a fingerless glove on his left hand. Minseok nods and is about to shake his hand with the driver, but the other just looks at his other hand. He points at the glove. "You don't need that to look like a canine."

"Ah, I know, but..." Minseok scratches his nape awkwardly. How does he tell that he wants to be seen as an alpha and not as an omega? He sighs deeply and decides to trust this guy. It's not like he's going to out him or that it would matter at all. "Well, what do I smell like?"

"You don't smell anything like a lynx", the taxi driver states, now taking off his own hat and revealing his big yellowish ears. A Fennec fox. "Trust me, I would know what a canine smells like. And you smell just like a wolf."

"Ah, well..." Minseok is awkward again. "Can you guess my status?"

"You smell like an alpha."

Then Minseok reveals his left hand and the fox's eyes widen.

"No way. What kind of perfume did you use and where did you get it?" he leans closer and whispers. "How much did it cost you? This shit ain't legal."

Minseok leans in and starts whispering too, "Neither is this but it's happening."

The fox huffs and grins, opening the door for his passenger. Minseok takes the front seat next to him. The car isn't the best in condition, but it works. The seats are very comfortable and nice, the opposite from the condition of the car.

"Tell me your secret", the driver says as he starts to drive away from the park. "I know we all have secrets. I know we have committed some terrible crimes. I know the punishment could be death... or worse. So, what are you running away from?"

Minseok thinks for a moment. He's not exactly running away from anything, he's actually facing it. He is going to face the wolf inside of him. Even though he feels a bit bad for leaving his new wife alone for a whole week. He just told everybody that he had a job in the woods for a week and is going to stay there for the while. He hopes that no one will be suspicious about him losing money rather than gaining it.

"I'm... not exactly running away from anything. Just... wanting to see what it looks like on the other side."

"No, really, who did you kill?" The fox is not buying it. He has been doing this for years and helped criminals fake their papers and settled them down in other clans.

"If I say many people, will you stop asking?" Minseok grunts, but the fox just laughs at him.

"I guess you don't keep their names. Okay, okay, I like that. By the way, if you kill me, please say that you killed Wolfgang. That's my name."

Minseok just nods his head a few times before adding, "I won't kill you. I need you."

"Of course, you need poor Wolfgang to settle you down in another clan because you're a murderer in the other. Of course I will help you, if you pay me", the fox says, but doesn't exactly get Minseok's point.

"Actually, I'm not thinking of settling down in another clan, but if that happens, I will surely contact you. I doubt that it does, though."

A moment of silence passes as Wolfgang pays attention to the traffic. They're soon out of the city area, driving through the rural area of the cat clan's territory.

"So what is it that you're really running away from? Guilt?"

Many houses pass by. There are cows, lambs and pigs on the snowy fields and barns with some hybrid people taking care of them. There's a bit of snow, usual in the winter of the cat clan's territory. Bear clan owns the coldest territory for the polar bears, though.

It's rare to see a car pass here, so the people look at them with wondering gazes. Many horse carriages pass them by.

"Actually", Minseok starts when looking outside at the beautiful scenery. "I am running away from my family. My mother, my siblings, my new wife... They don't really know who I am."

"If you really killed many people, then I doubt you have told anybody about it. Your family must not know about it. They would freak out."

"Yeah..."

"When did you get married?"

"Just last week."

"Oh, congratulations, then."

"It was an arranged marriage."

"I'm sorry."

A few silent minutes pass by. Wolfgang doesn't seem so bad in Minseok's opinion. He's a canine, but Minseok's not actually nervous around him. He's just like... any other person.

This would be the right time to ask about the wolf clan. He did search everything he could online, but the information was vague. Hearing about it from somebody who lived there his whole life may be more accurate.

"Can you tell me something about the wolf clan that I probably don't know?" Minseok asks, and Wolfgang immediately makes a questioning face.

"Weren't you taught about it at school? I thought cat clan has well education system."

"I... never went to high school", Minseok confesses, making Wolfgang's jaw drop and his ears pop up.

"You didn't go to high school? Damn, your people must not treat you well."

"Sounds like you know something about the cat clan."

"Of course I know, I am a delta." Now he's made Minseok confused again. He glances over at the lynx and smiles mischievously to his stupidity. "Delta is usually a messenger between clans and/or a political leader. We are born as omegas, betas, or alphas, but our status changes when we grow up. We show biological capability with diplomacy and interrogation. See the mark on my left hand? It's purple. It changed after I started as a dealer about ten years ago."

"You've been doing this for a while, huh", Minseok exclaims, his eyes widened about all this information. He did not know of deltas even existing. No one actually talked about them in the cat clan. "Why have I never heard about deltas?"

"Cat clan tries to erase our existence. I don't know what they're trying to achieve by that exactly, maybe they're trying to show that anyone can be a leader or a messenger, not only those who are born to it", Wolfgang shrugs. "I believe that it's in our basic biology, though."

Minseok has never heard about deltas. Now this makes him wonder, are the leaders in the cat clan deltas, too?

"You smell like an alpha", he points out, and Wolfgang nods.

"I used to be. The smell won't change. Just the color", he keeps a small pause before continuing. "You smell like an alpha, too. Dare to tell me where you got it?"

Minseok sighs and shakes his head. He doesn't know how to explain it without making the other utterly confused.

"I was actually born with this scent. I didn't choose it. Sometimes I spray myself with omega and lynx scent because I smell so much like an alpha wolf. Where did I get those, then? Well, my mother was desperate..." he confesses, making Wolfgang gasp.

"Your mother? I guess you really have been born with that scent. It does smell very real, that's why I was wondering. I notice the difference between a fake and a real scent, and your scent is so real that it feels like I'm sitting next to a real alpha grey wolf."

This makes Minseok smile. He looks out the window with a grin on his face. Alpha grey wolf... he never thought that those words could make him as happy as they do right now. Wolfgang glances over at him, chuckling at his dreamy face.

"You're special, Minseok. I don't even know how something like this is possible."

"Me neither..."

He stares outside, adoring the view and asking more questions about the wolf clan. Wolfgang enlightens him about the fact that canines do not breed through their statuses, but through their _sex_. The fact that in wolf clan it is not appropriate for two men to kiss each other is just absolutely mind-blowing to Minseok. It's so normal in the cat clan that he could have never even imagined something like that being somewhat inappropriate.

Wolfgang states his support for this, though.

And as for Minseok's new cover name, Wolfgang gives him the name _Xiumin_. That name resembles him whenever he's in the wolf clan territory and Wolfgang will no longer call him by the name Minseok in there, but with the name Xiumin.

Minseok starts to feel bad about this. What if something goes wrong? It's too late to back off now, though. Wolfgang has taken care of everything already. He's even got food at the motel if Minseok doesn't know how to handle money situations in the wolf clan.

It's been two hours already, and their plan is very clear. Minseok is now Xiumin, an alpha grey wolf. He will live the week at the motel and exactly a week from this moment, Wolfgang will pick him up from the motel in the early morning. If something happens, he will find the fox by calling him through the phone at the motel and paying for it to the motel manager. Canines do not use mobile phones, so Minseok has to leave it to the car with Wolfgang.

"Wolf clan may seem a little primitive to you at first", Wolfgang explains with a little singing note on his words. "That is why I usually take felines to the elk clan, but since you have a natural scent of a grey wolf, the wolf clan is your best bet. The elk clan is the kindest and most peaceful major clan out there. The cervine are so kind that even if you come out to them as a member of another clan, they'll still love you. Canines... well..."

Minseok just nods his head. Wolfgang has been bombing him with information for the past two hours, he probably won't even remember it all.

"What about a minor clan?" he wonders, but Wolfgang starts laughing out loud.

"Becoming a part of a minor clan would practically be a suicide. They're small packs of hybrids. Dumb ones. You need to become a member of a major clan, a big clan, in order to be alone and invisible. Sounds weird, doesn't it? You dive into a sea of people so no one could see you."

"It's a camouflage", Minseok exclaims, and Wolfgang nods a few times, humming in approval.

"Don't come too attached to your camouflage, though", he reminds as he finally reaches the wolf clan's city. Minseok already feels terrified and a little unsafe by the place. Everyone's glaring, no one walks down the streets with a smile on their face. They don't look stressed either, though, unlike in the cat clan. Everyone in the cat clan is distressed about school and work, but these canines seem to be more of... watching over their backs. "You sometimes have to show your real self, too. That's why I'm here. You can tell me all your dirty secrets... all that's on your mind. And I won't judge. You don't need a camouflage around me, _Xiumin_."

Minseok doesn't even understand that Wolfgang just called him Xiumin. It's unreal. He's just adoring the tall buildings around him. When he sees two canines in the streets with cups in their hands, begging for something, Minseok's eyes widen and he points at them with a questioning face. The Fennec fox notices this.

" _Ah_ ", he starts with such a sarcastic delight in his voice. "Stray dogs. Homeless... dogs."

Homeless? As in... they have no home? Again something that absolutely baffles Minseok. How could anyone be without a home?

"Why are they swinging a cup around?" he asks with sincere curiosity.

"They're begging for money so they could eat."

 _That's horrible_ , Minseok thinks to himself. Are there seriously no homeless people in the cat clan? Why has he never seen anyone begging in the streets? Is it because the cat clan is wealthier?

"You're gonna see a few of them in this neighborhood. Don't worry, they're harmless. What I would avoid are gangs. You don't want to be torn apart by a wolf gang... Haha, got it?" Wolfgang starts laughing at his own joke and Minseok looks at him with an unimpressed look. Really, puns?

After the fox has collected himself, he coughs and continues, "Ah, but the wolf gangs are really... full of... wolves. You don't want to end up on their plates. Stay the fuck away from other alpha wolves. They may feel intimidated by you coming onto their territory."

"I try not to be eaten by anyone", Minseok states. The area seems to be even poorer and poorer. Soon the car stops and they're in front of some run-down hotel. It's snowing lightly. The evening is almost pitch black. Minseok thanks a higher power for they're finally here. He has a horrible need to use the men's room. Has been for almost an hour, but he didn't dare to ask Wolfgang to pull over and let him do his business, the fox was so busy talking. There were some silent minutes where he would have had the opportunity, but he just... didn't dare to.

Wolfgang parks at the taxi parking lot and turns to face Minseok fully. Suddenly his body language becomes more lively. Now Minseok really notices how small the fox really is.

"If anybody asks, your name is Xiumin grey wolf and you come from the countryside. You are at the city for a week to do some shopping for your father, who's a farmer, and have decided to stay for the whole week because you own a small farm with not so many jobs to do. You don't know anything about electronics and have no idea how to use the internet, computers or phones, since you've never had one. And it is true, the wolf clan's phones are so ancient that the last time any feline saw these bad boys was decades ago. Maybe your grandparents did, I don't know."

Minseok keeps mental notes of all the things that he has to remember.

"Can we... change the story a little bit? I mean, my father died when I was 6. I don't remember what it's like to have a father." Wolfgang raises his eyebrows and looks outside at the snow for a little bit.

"...Sure. You're doing some shopping for your mother, then. The best lies are always close to the truth", he says when raising his finger. "Don't tell anyone that you have father issues, though. Alpha canines with father issues are immediately labeled gay."

Minseok bats his eyes a few times innocently before uttering the question, "Are what?"

"Gay. Homosexual. A man with a man, a woman with a woman. As I told you before, nobody likes to be thought of as homosexual around here, especially in the slums. If you go to the rich people's area, there ain't nothing but gays", Wolfgang tells this with slight irritation in his voice. It's like he didn't like talking about this subject. Maybe it's personal to him?

Minseok nods his head a few times. Then he places his hand on the handle, almost taking a step outside as Wolfgang stops him by taking a hold of his shoulder.

"Don't do anything stupid. I will be in this exact same spot next Wednesday, before the noon. And just a tip, check out the clubs and the girls for me when it's Saturday", he winks his eye. "You have to see how we party in the weekends. You felines are so lame."

The lynx just rolls his eyes before throwing his phone in the fox's hands. The latter immediately catches it, adoring the handiwork.

"Don't sell it while I'm gone."

"I'll sell it if you don't pay me next week. Tell your name to the receptionist at the motel and book a room by the name Wolfgang. They'll know how to treat you and get you everything that you need."

"Okay, okay."

And then he gets out of the car to let the cold air hit his face. Ah. The snow. The reminder of his new wife that he left home all alone and lied to her face without feeling any guilt. Well he still doesn't feel guilt for what he did and what he's about to do, he feels so alive!

The motel, however... Minseok sighs deeply before glancing behind him to see the fox playing with his phone. His phone! Minseok's phone!

He knocks on the glass and glares at the fox, and when Wolfgang finally raises his head to see Minseok, he grins widely and puts the phone in his pocket, starts his car and drives away. Minseok doesn't even care if he sold the phone, to be honest. He doesn't really care about anything at the moment except...

He's in the wolf clan's territory! He feels so alive!

Howling is heard from upstairs of the two-storey building. Wow, that woman is loud! Minseok is so excited about everything that he doesn't even care about the fact he won't sleep the whole week because these canines are fucking in the next room!

Ah, is it a good time to be alive!

He walks to the door and opens it. The lobby seems pretty empty and quiet. There's nothing but the receptionist, waiting for him to walk to her. She stands with her arms resting on her hips, a little impatient look on her face. She has long black hair and grey ears. She's an omega.

As Minseok walks closer, he understands that this is a scent he hasn't smelled before.

"Hello", he finally manages to say out loud and the receptionist is quick to reply with a greeting. "I would like to rent a room for a week by the name Wolfgang."

The receptionist winks at him before handing him the keys to his room.

Keys? Minseok was expecting a key card.

"What shall I call you, then?" she asks.

"...Xiumin."

"We will take care of your payments, as long as you pay him." Minseok swears the next person reminding him to pay Wolfgang will be eating his fist.

"Okay. Where is my room?"

"It's room 13, the furthest one in the right upstairs."

"Thank you."

"Enjoy your stay in the wolf clan", she says with a gentle voice and a smile as gentle as her words rise on her lips. He smiles back before walking upstairs and into his motel room.

The room seems just cleaned. It probably is. There is only a closet with a few extra clothes, a desk with a chair standing before it and a king-sized bed with a small note on it. He walks to the bed and reads the note, whispering the words written on it.

_'Welcome to the wolf clan, outlaw._

_For directions, talk to the motel's receptionist. There's also a map of the wolf clan's whole territory and the city in the drawer of the desk. The closet is filled with spare clothing of all sizes. Hopefully you will find yours. Please, go buy some underwear. I will not provide you that. You have to pay for them out of your own pocket. If you can't afford them, too bad. You can wash your clothes at the motel, the staff will take care of it._

_Visit the clubs in the weekend and have some fun. :) Drink away those problems of yours, tomorrow won't be any better, so just revel in it for today._

_Do NOT invite ANYONE into your motel room. This motel room should not be used by anyone except you and the staff. If you have an urgent need to fuck with somebody,_ _do it some place else_ _._

_For any further questions, call W through the motel phone. Remember, you are from the countryside, and you have no idea how to use the phone. (You don't have to fake that. You don't know how to use the phone.)_

_Enjoy your stay at the wolf clan, possibly, your new clan._

_\- W'_

The gravity of this situation is just dawning to Minseok. If someone finds out about his visit, he will end up in prison. But if someone finds out that he's dà huī láng, he will end up losing his life. There are no possible good outcomes of this situation, and Minseok knows it. He's desperate.

_That's why Wolfgang is there to help._

Tomorrow won't be a better day, he's right. But Minseok finally feels alive.

So alive he can barely sleep...

 


	5. Fox

In the morning, Minseok showered in his motel room's bathroom and ate at the motel, downstairs in the cafeteria. There was only a few people there, some big alpha wolves. Minseok wondered why were these alpha wolves there, but didn't ask. He did not dare to. The food was okay, they were serving lamb. He did not know that lamb would taste as good as it did.

And after his breakfast, he decided to go outside to the market that's crowded with canines. He's been there for a good fifteen minutes now, just scrolling through some worthless junk that he doesn't even need as well as some vegetables and meat. He's got his beanie tight on his head, fingerless glove on his left hand and tail covered in his pants. To his relief, some wolves actually stuff their tails in their pants. He hopes no one will ask about his, which is rather small, as he is a lynx. Maybe he will just say that it got cut off in an accident - who knows?

The hardest part about this whole thing is to actually _understand_ that these people around him are _canines_. He doesn't feel as home as he hoped to, but that is not because he doesn't feel like a wolf. It's because this place is literally so much different from the cat clan. The cat clan is cleaner and wealthier. People talk less in the cat clan. They're just so busy. Here people just relax and have fun at the market, browse through one stall's goods for minutes before moving on to the next one.

Markets like these where people just sell things in their stalls are hectic in the cat clan. People spend a couple of seconds at one stall and that means browsing plus buying. They probably knew beforehand what to get and where to get it, and they wouldn't waste their time _enjoying_ it.

So many people have long and furry tails. Foxes, wolves. Minseok has took a mental note that there are a lot of foxes and wolves in this part of the city. The dogs don't seem to be around here. There's just a few stray dogs.

Minseok decides to go to one of them. The dog puts his cup forward and gazes at Minseok with big, sad eyes. They seem a bit red from infections and yellow from liver problems. So the wolf decides to hand him a few coins.

"Thank you, kind wolf", the dog smiles weakly. Minseok smiles back and walks away. No one is even questioning whether he's a real wolf or not. They just smell the scent and immediately know what to call him.

Just as he's about to walk to another stall, someone runs right into him. The stranger pushes Minseok to the ground with him and some men can be heard yelling.

"Come back here you filthy fox!" a shop owner yells, but runs past the fox he was trying to catch. The fox is hidden in the crowd, and right now, laying his body on top of Minseok's and groaning. When he seems to be more aware of the situation, he hears more people yell, "Thief!"

The fox crawls off of Minseok to hide behind an empty stall, but drags the wolf with him to cover him. He pulls them further and further away from the crowd, to crouch behind the empty stall.

Minseok looks at him with wide eyes. The fox has furry white ears and a tail. He's got a light green mark on his left hand. He has black hair and a loose grey hoodie under a coat on him as well as blue jeans. The wolf's jaw drops. This creature is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

He smells so good. Is this normal?

The fox grins at him when finally looking at him in the eyes. He unfolds the package in his hands to show the loot, a handful of money.

"I'll give you half if you won't tell anybody", he whispers. Minseok seems to be hypnotized by the man so he just nods, all words going past his ears. He was just mesmerized by the softness and the beauty of his voice. That was music to him.

When the fox then hands over half of the money, Minseok's unable to process everything that is just happening. The fox looks at him in the eyes, waiting for him to take it. Minseok stares at him back for a good while before the fox sighs, takes his hand in his and places the money on his palm.

"You aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?" the fox asks, and suddenly Minseok replies with something that makes his whole face bright red.

"I'm from the countryside."

The fox bats his eyelashes a few times with a questioning look on his face. Minseok won't look at him anymore, just puts the money in his pocket. This money will come in handy while he's in here as he's not sure if he took enough spare money to go out.

"Uh... Sure..." the fox replies before starting to snicker. Minseok understands why he would think this is funny, so he starts laughing awkwardly too. "So, country-wolf, is this your first time in the city?"

"Y-yes..."

"Do you need somebody to show you around?" the fox asks, now lowering his head to find Minseok's eyes. This makes the wolf more embarrassed.

"...That would be nice."

"Okay!" The fox jumps up and claps his hands together once. Then he pulls his hood on his head and puts his hands in his pocket. Just like this would prevent from anybody understanding who he is or what he did.

Or, now, what they did. Minseok did accept the money so he's a part of this crime, too.

The fox starts to walk away, Minseok tailing behind him. He's so mysterious, and his scent is a little bit different from the other ones. It's... stronger. Minseok doesn't even have to see him, he can follow his scent.

Though he wants to see him. His tall and skinny body... That white tail swinging from side to side with his hips with every step. It's magical.

Just as they're walking out of the market place, two coyotes stop them. They stand before the fox and stare him down. Minseok can smell the fear from the fox. He's never been able to sense or smell anything like that. Why is it that he can now?

"Up to no good again, huh, Sehun?" the other one asks with a deep voice. He's tall and his muscles can be seen through the hoodie he's wearing. The other coyote is slightly less muscular, but just as intimidating and creepy. Minseok hopes he hasn't got in trouble this soon already.

"What did you steal this time? Nice jewelry? Sugar?" Suddenly the coyote starts laughing. "Or, remember the one time you stole a teddy bear? What the hell do you do with a teddy bear?"

"You know your father is worried about you. Just because you take these things without paying doesn't mean no one will pay for them. Everything you take is out of your father's pocket", the other one tries to evoke feelings for the father.

"Like we wouldn't know what you were up to behind that stall."

Suddenly he, Sehun, takes a hold of Minseok's hand and becomes all shy. Or at least fakes to be shy. The coyotes raise their eyebrows when looking down at the interlaced fingers.

"Why, when I try to behave, you make fun of me like this?" he sobs. That's not real sobbing. Minseok's eyes widen when he listens to his pathetic acting. "I was just trying to bond with my possible new boyfriend and you're ruining our moment."

Minseok's face heats up so much there's no end to it. The coyotes blush too. They immediately and awkwardly start scratching their napes.

"U-uhm, we're sorry to cause you trouble on your date. Please... carry on..." the other coyote says and they get out of their way. Sehun hides his face with his hand and with his other hand he still holds Minseok's, leading him away from the market place.

Minseok has no idea what that was about but he hopes he didn't get involved in anything. At least he now knows the fox's name and that he has a father who has to pay for all the thievery he practices. So Minseok was just a prop.

Sehun lets go of the wolf's hand when they're far enough from the coyotes, then grins at him. Minseok blinks a few times in confusion. This tall man in front of him is gorgeous.

"Sorry for using you like that to get away from the situation. I know I shouldn't have done that."

"You shouldn't have stolen, either. But you still did that", Minseok blurts out without further thinking. Then he blushes again, looking away from the fox. The latter turns up his nose and folds his arms on his chest. "B-but I'm not here to teach you about morals and stuff. I shouldn't be the one to talk about things like that..."

"How so?" Sehun's interest is caught. "Have you done something... bad... too?"

Minseok wants to say that he's done much worse, but doesn't want to seem suspicious. So he just ends up slightly nodding before looking back up at the fox. His hood has dropped from his head and the wind plays with his black hair.

The area around him seems poor. Is that why he's stealing? Because he's poor?

"What's your name?" the fox asks. 

"Min-" Wait. That's not the name he should be saying. A moment of silence passes as they just stare at each other in the eyes, Sehun rather disturbed by this.

"Min?" he asks. Minseok shakes his head, trying to come up with a lie that doesn't sound like an obvious one.

"I almost told you my nickname..." he laughs awkwardly. Sehun raises his eyebrow. "But my name is Xiumin."

"Can't I call you by your nickname, Min?"

"I would rather have you call me Xiumin", Minseok demands, making the fox roll his eyes.

"You're no fun. Whatever." He turns around and starts walking. "However, I promised to show you around, no matter how much of a bore you are. My name is Sehun, by the way."

Minseok doesn't reply with anything, just follows the other one obediently. He cannot stop wondering whether Sehun can smell his scent the way he smells Sehun's. Can he... scent... his feelings, too? Is this normal? And is Sehun the only one?

That does make him feel special, though. Maybe Sehun is special.

"We are in the area where mostly foxes, wolves and stray dogs live in. This thug area. But it's better than the coyotes and hyenas' area. They're savages", Sehun informs the wolf who forgets to pay attention to his surroundings when he's too busy thinking about the fox in front of him.

"I noticed", Minseok says. Sehun just snickers at that one.

"I'm going to take you downtown. The living quality there is better and that's pretty much where everything fun is. Here's just a few grocery stores, a barber shop, a motel and a bar." They just pass the said bar, Sehun pointing his hand at its direction. Wow, it looks even more run-down than the motel. It sends shivers down Minseok's spine.

"This place looks rather poor", he points out. Sehun nods and hums in agreement.

"It's a good thing I don't have to sleep in here", he says with a sigh. So Sehun is not poor...? "God knows who might be breathing down my neck at midnight."

Minseok doesn't reply anything, but his face shows his panic. 

"You staying here? At the motel?"

"Yeah, I'm staying at the motel for the whole week..."

"And you're going to go back to the countryside after this week?"

"That was my intention..."

"Why are you visiting the city?"

Minseok tries to recall what they talked about with Wolfgang. "I am buying some necessities for our farm."

"What kind of necessities?"

Sehun asks way too many questions. Minseok is having a hard time answering all of them. It almost feels like he's doing something illegal. Oh wait, he is. Sehun might very well turn him in to the authorities. He must not trust this guy... or anyone, for that matter.

"Uh... You know, oil, food, lamps, and things like that. I've already bought them so they're at the motel right now."

"Oh, right... you must be really poor in the countryside", Sehun says with a thoughtful look on his face. Minseok just nods and bites his lips. Sure, he's... very poor...

"What about you?" he wonders when they walk beside each other in the streets. It's rather silent there right now, almost everyone is at the market place. Some trashes are laying on the street. "Why are you here?"

"I visited the market, of course."

"If these people are poor, why would you steal from them?" Tough moral questions to be asked.

"The sellers are not poor. These people are", Sehun explains, and suddenly it all makes so much more sense to Minseok.

"Then where do you live?"

Sehun turns to look at Minseok and squints his eyes.

"Country-wolf... if questions like that are okay in the countryside, they are not here. You shouldn't ask a person where they live. It's creepy."

Minseok's face then becomes bright red. He shouldn't ask new people where they live. Sehun doesn't even seem comfortable sharing that information.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'll let it slide cause you're a little dumb and new to the city."

Minseok's face now becomes more red, not because of embarrassment but because this fox just called him dumb! He's not dumb! He just... didn't go to high school... it's not because he's dumb, but because he couldn't. There's a clear line between stupidity and incapability.

"Well, we're almost downtown", Sehun announces. Minseok looks around him - it truly feels like they just crossed over a line between the two places. The downtown is so much more lively. It's clean and people are walking down the streets, busy, not busy, all kinds of canines - dogs, wolves, foxes, coyotes, hyenas, jackals, dingos. Neon lights are decorating the walls and signs.

Minseok smiles. Now this feels more like home.

But he has to pretend that this city-thing is something completely new and exciting for him. In the wolf clan, yes, it is, but generally he's very used to the city.

Sehun claps his hands together once and smiles widely to Minseok's amazed gazing. 

"It's cool, right?"

"A little different from what I'm used to, but it is very cool." A little different meaning, the felines are now canines.

"Yes, it must be very different to the countryside", Sehun exhilarates. "Let me take you to my favorite shop in my favorite mall!"

Sehun takes Minseok's hand in his own and starts running. The wolf starts to feel anxiety kicking in. How is this fox so free from all the worries and fears? He's just shamelessly dragging Minseok everywhere. Doesn't he have any self-control? Or maybe... he's just really lonely and wants some friends.

Minseok doesn't mind. It's not like he has anything better to do or anyone else to be with. In the cat clan he only has his family and now Biyu.

The mall they run into is big, and Sehun is running until a hyena stops him. He's tall and muscular like the coyotes before. But now this one is wearing a guard's uniform.

"Sehun, here again?" he asks and the fox tries to pass him. The hyena takes a hold of his arm however, stopping them both on their tracks. "You should be home right now. I got a message from your father."

"I'm a grown-up! I've told him that I can take care of myself already!" These people seem to all know Sehun and his father.

"Nineteen is not a grown-up. Doesn't matter either way, with the power your father has over the city, you and I both have to do as he tells us to."

"That is so unfair!" Sehun yells and now some people start to stare at them. Minseok is embarrassed, yet again. "I was just showing the city to this wolf from the countryside."

"Your father has also ordered you to no longer spend time with alpha males, and especially wolves. Looks like you're not obeying him again." The hyena looks at Minseok from head to toes with a judging look on his face. Minseok gulps. He didn't do anything. "You know you have to end up with a female fox anyways."

"Just let me go!" he starts to hit the guard with his free hand that he let go from Minseok's, but the hyena doesn't seem to be impressed by this. He just looks at Sehun with a bored look on his face. Minseok still stands by not wanting to get involved in anything, and this situation seems like something that would get him into something.

Maybe he'll ask about this fox from Wolfgang on the way back.

The hyena looks at Minseok apologetically while having the fox hit his chest incessantly.

"I'm sorry, wolf, but I have to take Sehun back to his father. You should not see him anymore", the hyena apologizes and demands, and Minseok just nods his head rapidly.

"I'll just find another tour", he awkwardly replies.

"There's an info stall downstairs, right after that entrance doors. They sell maps and help you find whatever you need, and if you've got the coin, they'll give you a tour around the city", the hyena tips and Minseok smiles to him brightly.

"Thank you. I'll leave you be now. Bye. It was nice to meet you, Sehun", he says and starts walking away, trying to block the insults the young fox throws at the guard. He truly is young.

Minseok would lie to himself if he said that he didn't feel anything when leaving Sehun with the guard. The guard was obviously taking him someplace where he didn't want to go, even if it is his home.

And Minseok would definitely be lying if he didn't feel a little empty then. It felt like he was truly bonding with another canine. Truly... His scent was so good... Minseok wants to turn around and run back to the fox, just to _smell_ his _scent_.

But what is he now thinking? Surely he'll find another canine with the same kind of scent, right? Maybe he'll ask about it from Wolfgang again.

He walks to the info stall, trying to get the fox's scent out of his nose and his mind. At the info stall stands a male hyena with a wide smile. On the inside he's probably dying, Minseok figures.

"Hello! How can I help you?" he asks with a high voice.

"I... would like a tour around the city."

"Oh, are you from the countryside?" he wonders. Minseok nods a few times. "Okay! I will be your tour. You can call me Jongdae."

Then Jongdae closes the info stall and walks out with Minseok, showing him everything that he needs to know about the city. It's weird that the wolf clan takes so much pride in their clubs. Those places that the cat clan tries to hide. 

 


	6. Week

The last day of Minseok's visit in the wolf clan is dawning. He's been spending some time with the info receptionist, Jongdae, on the other's free time after the hyena took note of how nice Minseok is to be with. So he ended up not charging for the tour. Minseok did not hit the club, but this is his last day here, maybe he'll have a chance to check it out. He would have Jongdae to go out with if he doesn't want to go alone - they already agreed to meet each other at the mall in the afternoon.

Minseok had not even thought of what it's going to be like without his phone or laptop. He starts to experience some physical symptoms of not having internet in his pocket. He can't even send messages to his siblings. It's eating him alive. How's Irene? How's Chanyeol? How's Kyungsoo? He doesn't know, and he's dying in worry!

Visiting wolf clan has been fun. He's not sure if he should come back one day. Jongdae seems like trust-worthy friend-material. Friend... that Minseok has not had in years. He just kind of left everyone because of his identity crisis, because he felt disgusted at himself, like there was something really wrong with him. He couldn't let anybody be around him without feeling like he was invisible - because nobody really knew him. They just saw how he looked on the outside.

But here... here everyone sees the real him. The alpha grey wolf that he feels like he's been trying to hide for his entire life. That wolf he's been ashamed of all this time... it's suddenly perfectly normal. Suddenly the beast inside of him feels calm. He's calm.

Minseok walks to the mall from the motel. He doesn't want to use the taxis around here, he doesn't even know how to. Tomorrow morning Wolfgang would come pick him up and get him back to the cat clan safely.

Jongdae smiles at the wolf when seeing him. He raises his hand to wave at him.

"Since it's your last day here, I'm going to spend my last day off from work with you. Is there anything specific that you would want to do?" the hyena asks.

Minseok is almost about to say club when he thinks about it through. What would Jongdae think of him then?

But does it matter? Chances are they're not going to see each other again.

"Well, I've always wanted to visit the clubs..." he says thoughtfully and Jongdae starts smiling mischievously.

"Oh you'll love them. But it's not good to be drinking at this time of the day, no. Let's do something else till the evening. We'll probably just end up going to various places to eat", Jongdae laughs and Minseok agrees.

"I'm fine with that to be honest."

"There's this great place with delicious ice cream. You have to taste it. Oh! And then there's this really nice grill that you have to check out. The place is legendary, the greasy food... and the old jackal everyone makes fun of", Jongdae explains when throwing his arm around Minseok's shoulder, making gestures with his hands.

Minseok feels like a real canine when spending time with this hyena. He's not savage, is he? Now that he thinks of it, he has no idea if this hyena lives in the place that Sehun told him about. The worst place in the city, presumably. Jongdae hasn't been showing him those places, he's avoided the slums. It hasn't even been discussed between the two.

"What about the slum areas?" Minseok dares to ask, making the hyena's smile drop. Suddenly the happy look on his face is replaced with a worried one. Now the wolf kind of regrets asking that.

"Well, since I've come to trust you during this week, I guess I can tell you. This is your last day, so you should know... about the slums", Jongdae starts with a serious tone but tries to smile lightly. "This city is greatly divided. Foxes and wolves live in one slum area, hyenas and coyotes live in the other. Dingos and jackals mostly live with the hyenas and coyotes, too, but there are less of them. Stray dogs live with foxes and wolves. The dogs live in the rich people's area. You know, the high class. Then there's the downtown - that's a real mix of all kinds of canines."

"Sounds like this city has some serious income difference problems", Minseok points out, but Jongdae squints his eyes.

"Well, Xiumin, you're a canine. You should know what's our clan like."

"Yeah, but I'm from the countryside", Minseok lies, remembering the suburb he's actually from. The cat clan is pretty wealthy. "Everyone there is poor. So... I thought that it would be different in the city. But apparently there's just a few..."

"Yeah, plenty of dogs and a few wolves in the power... One fox family and one dingo family. It's like a different world for them, living in their high and mighty mansions while the rest of us just try to survive while they scrape the last bits of our income for themselves", Jongdae huffs, triggered by the topic. He seems to know something about politics.

"Don't they pay taxes?" Minseok wonders.

"Of course they pay taxes. It's just that... everyone pays the same amount of taxes. So the rich people just get richer while we get poorer. If the clan is doing really bad, only the rich people pay additional taxes, which is good. The only ones not paying taxes are stray dogs."

They reach the ice cream bar Jongdae was talking about earlier. He pops down on a stool and Minseok does the same, looking at all the flavors possible.

"Anyway, talking about politics makes me kind of triggered. So I try to just shut up and do something fun. After all, my life's pretty good. I have a well-paying job, a nice apartment downtown and friends around me. I am in good terms with my parents and had a good childhood. I think life for me is rather wonderful. Especially compared to some other canines", Jongdae tells all of this to Minseok who just nods. Jongdae doesn't seem displeased with his life - he's enjoying it. Work isn't stressing him and neither are his family or friends. Now the wolf kind of adores him.

The shopkeeper walks to them and smiles brightly, showing her sharp teeth. Yikes.

"Hi, Hani", Jongdae greets with a shining smile. Hani smiles back, already starting to roll the ice cream balls for the cone.

"It's the regular, right, Jongdae?" she asks and the hyena nods. She eyes at his friend with a shy smile.

"This is my friend Hani, Xiumin. Hani, this is my new friend Xiumin. He's a country-wolf visiting the city", he introduces the two. Minseok is a little awkward because Hani seems to be very awkward.

"It's nice to meet you, Hani", he says with a gentle voice. The female wolf plays with her hair and looks down.

"It's nice to meet you too, Xiumin..."

She makes Jongdae an ice cream cone with three balls - pear, chocolate and strawberry. Minseok's drool almost drips from the corner of his mouth when he sees the icy treat.

"What kind of ice cream would you want, Xiumin?" she asks shyly. Minseok snaps out of it.

"I would love the same kind", he replies.

"And I would like to pay for them both", the hyena offers, already taking out his wallet.

"Wow, you're really spoiling me, Jongdae", Minseok points out with an awkward laugh. The other just smiles brightly. That's all he seems to be doing. He's so chill and outgoing, Minseok is truly jealous that he isn't like him from his nature.

"Well, you're from the countryside. I know this is a rare treat for you", he explains. Minseok almost feels bad. Almost. If there wasn't free ice cream involved, he would probably feel bad.

Hani hands over the ice cream cones and Jongdae hands out the money. Then she is off to treat some other customers. Jongdae and Minseok walk to a table just for two. Minseok is cold since it's snowing outside and now he's eating an ice cream - but it truly is never too cold for ice cream. It is only slightly warmer here than in the cat clan's territory.

Minseok likes snow, just like his fiance.

"Are you happy with your life?" Jongdae asks with sincere tone in his voice. Minseok thinks to himself for a moment. He'll reply to this honestly. Jongdae is his friend... right? He can talk about his feelings honestly, right? But he's a male alpha wolf... there is no way in hell that he's going to be emotional in this situation.

"Could be better."

"Of course, always could be better. But answer me honestly... Do you like living in the countryside?" the hyena asks. Minseok looks away from him. He'll have to think that the countryside in this situation means the cat clan.

"I'm not too fond of it. Where I'm from, people are just... so cold. I wish... that people could enjoy themselves more and just enjoy life. I don't really see that happening. Like I saw at the market, everyone seemed to be enjoying their time, taking their time to shop and socialize. It just... doesn't happen."

"That's rather sad..." Jongdae confesses. Minseok just nods his head and agrees.

***

Minseok spends the whole day with Jongdae, and in the evening they finally hit the club. They even visited the grill with the old jackal lady and Minseok immediately understood why she was such a joke. At the end of the day Jongdae gave Minseok his phone number, just so if he'd be visiting the city again he would call him.

The music is banging at the club, some DJ wolf behind a set howling while mixing the beat. All kinds of canines are dancing, there's even a stage where a fox and a dingo are dancing together some modern dance.

Minseok and Jongdae have already found themselves girls to dance with. The coyote dancing with Minseok is grinding herself against him, the tension being awfully sexual. Minseok tries not to, but he likes it anyway. So he just lets himself go. It would also be lying if he said he hasn't drank at least three cups of alcohol - more than he has in years, being very stressed about life and such.

But nobody knows him here. Nobody cares if he's grinding an omega girl coyote at a club. Nobody's waiting him at home. Nobody's there to tell him come home before midnight. Nobody's there to tell him what to do and how to be.

He's a wild and free wolf raving and ain't nobody going to stop him.

The coyote is about to pull him away to make out with him, but he refuses her proposal. She just huffs and changes the date immediately. Well that's a bummer.

He walks to Jongdae who's making out with another hyena on the couch. They're really going at it.

"I have to use the restroom", he informs his friend who just waves his hand at him. He's not going to care where Minseok will be right now, he's got something more interesting going on with this girl.

So Minseok walks down to the bathroom. The walls are spray painted. The graffitis are very well made, probably by professional artists. At least Minseok wants to think that way, rather than them being some vandalism. Because even if they were illegally painted, they look rad as fuck.

But the penis that's sprayed on the bathroom door isn't that glamorous.

Being a dedicated urinal hater, Minseok goes to a stall. Just as he's about to open his pants, he hears two men enter the restroom. It's always awkward to pee in someone's presence.

"If your father finds out about me letting you in here, you know I'm going to be a dead jackal", the other man says. Minseok feels the scent of the beta fox hit his nose. This is probably the worst place for that.

"My dad is not going to find out anything, okay? If he asks if you know anything, just say that there are so many people at the club you can't see anyone's faces", Sehun says. Minseok recognizes that voice clearly.

"I've said that quite many times to him already. He scares the shit out of me, Sehun."

"Well then stop being such a wuss!" the fox snaps. Minseok won't come out of the stall before these two have got their conversation out of the way.

"Yes... I'm sorry... I will leave to my duties now." Then he hears steps walking towards the door and leaving. Then he hears a deep sigh.

Minseok waits a few seconds before flushing the toilet and walking to the sink. The fox before the mirror lowers his head after seeing him. However he won't go.

"You heard all of that..." he exclaims.

"Yeah... I did..."

It's kind of awkward right now between the two.

"Your father seems to be kind of a big deal around here", Minseok points out. Sehun nods a couple of times.

"He is kind of a big deal. It's weird you don't know by now. Almost every guard you see around here has an eye on me... my father's keeping an eye on me", Sehun says, staring down at the sink. Minseok still wonders if Sehun finds his scent different from the others. Stronger and somewhat... pulling. "Would you... like to be with me tonight?"

Sehun seems to be so shy when he's requesting that. Minseok wants to say yes, but at the same time he wants to stay out of trouble. And Sehun, he is trouble.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning", he says, making the fox now look at him with big eyes. "And I am not sure if I will come back."

"But I barely got to know you..." Sehun faintly says, almost whispering. When Minseok looks back at him, he looks away, face getting red. "If you come back, will you... call me?"

The fox hands out his father's business card. Minseok takes a good look at it. His father is a company CEO. No wonder.

"Call this number. I guarantee someone will answer you. But don't come to the address. You won't be allowed to come in."

He turns back to Minseok and leans in closer, alcohol's scent strong on his lips. He looks down at Minseok's lips and eyes alternatively before whispering, "Don't you feel a pull towards me?"

As much as Minseok would like to tell the truth, he can't. When Sehun leans in even closer, the wolf backs away and takes a few steps further away from him.

"I don't want to get in trouble. I don't even know if I'm going to stay here for any longer", he tries to explain, walking towards the door out of the restroom. "I don't want to get myself involved in anything that has to do with you and your father."

Then he leaves the restroom and the fox alone, taking a deep breath. That was so nerve-wracking. What does Sehun want from him? If he feels the pull, then maybe he just wants to... satisfy the need that that pull is giving them both. It's weird. It's unusual. Minseok feels unusual.

He walks to the couch where he last saw his friend making out with the other hyena, but to his surprise no one is there. They must have left to some place else...

Minseok sighs deeply and starts to walk out of the club. The fox isn't going to leave him alone... Nor his thoughts. He just decides to walk to the motel and sleep until Wolfgang is ready to pick him up and get him back to his home clan.


	7. Lost

Minseok would not have left the club if somebody had told him that he was going to stay up all night just laying in bed and thinking about Sehun. He might have found a beauty to spend the night with. The coyote who seemed to be interested in him... Him, an alpha wolf. He felt so good about himself last night. He felt like a real alpha.

He takes the card from his pocket and looks at it. Sehun's father's number. Maybe he should call right now, before he goes? Or, maybe not... Minseok doesn't want to get attached to him. He should stop seeing him altogether.

But before he goes, he wants to call Jongdae. He packs all of his stuff and walks downstairs to the receptionist to give her the keys and ask how to use the old landline at the motel's entrance. Of course he has to pay for using it.

This phone is so ancient Minseok's afraid of breaking it. When he doesn't hear anything from it, he's sure he's broke it.

But then he hears the calming voice of his friend who is absolutely hangover.

 _"Jongdae hyena"_ , he hears the voice from the phone.

"Hi Jongdae, it's me, Xiumin", Minseok replies, now completely used to his new name. "Just wanted to inform you that I'm going to be leaving in five minutes."

 _"Oh..."_ Jongdae sounds genuinely sad. _"We had quite a great thing going on."_

"Yeah we did", Minseok laughs. "Thank you for showing me around the city. If I'm coming back, I'll call you."

 _"You better call me then. If I run into you without knowing you're in the city, you're in trouble"_ , Jongdae jokes... or at least that's how Minseok interprets it.

"I will, I will... If we don't see each other again... then, I'm just really grateful for all the things you've done for me this week. Goodbye till the next time we see again."

 _"I'm happy to have shown you around. You're a good guy, Minseok. Goodbye for now..."_ Jongdae replies with a sad voice. Then Minseok ends the call. He's going to miss Jongdae, but there's no way in hell he's going to say it. That's... no. He's literally known him for a week.

Minseok stares at the card Sehun gave him. What if he calls him to say bye before he goes...

His hand almost automatically reaches for the phone to put the numbers in.

No, he shouldn't call. He doesn't want to get in trouble.

He leaves the landline alone and walks outside, all of his belongings in his hands. He didn't have much with him when he came to this place.

There it is, the taxi where Wolfgang is sitting in, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and smiling like the fox he is. Minseok smiles back, walking to his car. He opens the door for himself and plops down on the comfy seat.

Wolfgang turns to look at him with a devilish smirk.

"You liked the wolf clan, didn't you?"

Minseok nods enthusiastically, "Yes, I really liked it. I think I even made a friend."

"That's good to hear!" Wolfgang exclaims, clapping his hands together once. Then he starts the engine. "You can tell me all about it once we hit the road."

Minseok gently nods again to him, thinking about all the possible things he could talk about with Wolfgang. Wolf clan was not as he expected it to be - it was better.

Though, a little bit too primitive.

Once Wolfgang is out of the city, driving to the countryside, Minseok turns to him. The fox stares at the road with a little smile on his lips. He seems to be so happy all the time. Minseok figures he must be one of these extroverts who enjoy people.

"So, who's your new friend?"

"Jongdae. He is an alpha hyena. And an info receptionist", Minseok explains enthusiastically.

"That's wonderful, Xiumin. He doesn't even seem like a person who's too powerful within the clan so you should be safe. I mean, if he was, I would know about him by now", Wolfgang laughs a little. Minseok squints his eyes.

"Yeah... About that... I also met this one guy at the market. His name is Sehun. He's an arctic fox."

Wolfgang's smile drops. He quickly glances at Minseok who gulps. Did he say something wrong?

"You didn't get too close to him, did you?" he wonders. Minseok shakes his head.

"No, I didn't."

"Good. And don't. No matter what you do, do not get involved with that fox."

"What's so bad about him?"

"There is nothing wrong about him, but his father... He owns a big company and is also one of the few politicians who isn't a wolf. Sehun is known to make alpha males fall for him. And worst of all, I took his virginity." The last sentence makes Minseok almost choke on air. "Don't get too excited, hey. He likes to fool around with male alphas. And his father doesn't like it one bit. If you make the daddy mad, you might end up having the rest of the clan on your tail. You don't want that to happen with that little tail of yours."

"His father is a big name around the clan, I see... I understand why I should not get involved with him, but-"

"Don't even-"

"I felt something different about him. He... smelled different. He felt different. I felt a pull towards him. Is that normal?"

Wolfgang sighs deeply. He grips the steering wheel tighter, all joy from his face replaced with anxiety and uneasiness. Minseok figures Wolfgang doesn't like to talk about the fox whose virginity he took.

"Canines... feel a certain kind of pull towards other canines who are their possible mates. You feel a pull towards Sehun, your possible mate."

This just totally blows Minseok's mind. It's all too much to comprehend. He feels a pull towards Sehun, why? Because he's a potential mate? That sounds ridiculous. Nothing like this happens in the cat clan.

"Now this does not mean that Sehun is your mate. You might find another canine who you feel the pull towards. Some canines feel the pull towards almost everyone, some don't feel at all or the pull is so weak that they can't sense it. Most canines feel the pull towards more than just one person. The canines you feel the pull towards might not feel the pull towards you. And there are most likely more possible options for a mate than Sehun. It would be very unreal if Sehun was the only one for you", Wolfgang explains. Minseok did not sign up for this pull thing. He thought that living as a wolf would be easier than this, but he feels like a beast - or is it because of the full moon?

He doesn't know where he'll end up tonight.

"I think I understand... I can just move on and find another canine to feel the pull towards to?"

"Mmm", Wolfgang makes a denying sound. "It would be the safest if you didn't feel the pull towards anybody. Since you're a little different than the other ones I've been helping, I don't really know what to do in your case. You're a canine in a feline's skin. It should be impossible, but in this work I've come to the conclusion that nothing is impossible. But I will tell you what I've told the rest: do not fall in love. Damn, people just have the tendency to do what I tell them not to do. Would it be easier for you to not fall in love if I told you to do so?"

"I don't know, Wolfgang, I don't know. I've never loved anyone."

"You are perfect then. Perfect, heartless murderer. Just keep on what you're doing."

Minseok smiles a bit to him before moving his head to look out the window. He takes the beanie off his head and sighs. Snowy roads and snowy mountains in the distance - back to the cold, snowy home to his snow leopard wife.

He hasn't decided whether or not to visit the wolf clan again. He's a little interested about Sehun, and he would like to visit Jongdae again. He's a good friend.

But for now, home it is.

***

"Thank you again, Wolfgang", Minseok says while standing in front of the car in front of his new mansion when giving the money to Wolfgang who immediately shushes him.

"Don't use my name", he whispers. He slides Minseok's phone back in the lynx's hands. Minseok had almost forgot about it. Then the fox speaks normally again, "Thank you for using my taxi company, Minseok. I hope you'll want to use my services again."

His smile just screams that fox nature. And his hands, and the way he takes the money out of Minseok's hands - he's a greedy fox.

Minseok turns around and sighs deeply. His home, his mansion. In its' full glory. Biyu's mother runs outside to greet and hug him.

"Oh you were away for so long", she states. Minseok is a little weirded out by this sudden display of affection.

"Just doing my work", he says with a gentle smile. The lady nods a few times when letting go of her son-in-law.

"Of course, of course..."

"And I have to do more work now..."

"You don't have to do so much, Minseok. Biyu will take care of that", she says with a smile, landing her hand on Minseok's shoulder. Minseok still wishes to throw up. "What you should be taking care of right now is to make sure you can give us many kittens."

Oh boy. Minseok almost forgot what kind of oppression he has to endure at home.

"I wish to work as long as I can, until me and Biyu are ready to have kittens", Minseok explains, gritting his teeth and trying his hardest not to sound bitter and salty. The mother seems to notice this, but doesn't say anything, just smiles a little.

"Come on in now. I'll make you hot chocolate." The mother takes a hold of Minseok's hand and starts to walk ahead of him, leading him towards the mansion. "You need to relax a little. I kind of wish that you would stay at home already and learn to cook and clean and take care of kittens, since you'll be bearing them sooner or later."

Minseok cringes, but cannot say anything in return. He has to fulfill his duty, as an... omega. In the cat clan.

The high of everything he experienced at the wolf clan slowly fades away. Especially freedom.

***

As the midnight comes closer, Minseok feels the wolf within him awakening. He's just sitting in the living room reading a book when he feels his head and body starting to ache. Now it's time for him to leave again.

Biyu just walks into the room when he is about to leave.

"Now is really not a good time, Biyu", Minseok says, trying to walk past his wife who stops him. She looks sad.

"You went away for a week and you can't even say hi to me when you come back?" She huffs. "What a husband I've got."

"I'm really not feeling well tonight, Biyu. I'll talk with you again tomorrow, okay?"

"And what are you going to do tonight? Just leave me alone?" Biyu raises her arms and walks away from Minseok, staring at him in the eyes. She's honestly hurt by his behavior. "Urgh. Whatever. Just leave me alone."

Then she stomps away from the room to upstairs. Minseok almost runs outside. He knows he did wrong to Biyu by leaving her alone for so long and now leaving again, but he doesn't have a choice right now. He's turning into a monster that might kill her, he needs to get away from the city or else more innocent people will die and more false accusations will be landed on the wolf clan.

He has to run away from the city. So he starts to run when he's outside. Out of the city, nearer to the forest. His skin is slowly turning hairy and midnight black hair sticks out of his body. His head aches. Soon he'll no longer remember anything again.

His whole body hurts, but he must keep running in order to keep his family and his wife safe. It's just a matter of safety.

Again he's trapped in a cage, it's hard to breathe.

In the forest he's finally transformed into a wolf. He howls and runs further, further away from the cat clan. He doesn't know where he is, where he's going. He just feels a need to run into this direction without any good reason.

The cold snow under his feet doesn't stop him. It's slippery, but it doesn't make him fall.

Who is he? Where is he? Why is his head particularly now just a mess? He doesn't know where he's going.

His thoughts just keep chanting the word, _"Wolf."_

***

After all night of running, Minseok wakes up from the middle of the woods. He's resting against a tree, no idea where he is. There does seem to be a little less snow, but it's still cold.

Where is he? Why is he?

An old man walks to Minseok to look at him. His eyes widen when he sees the lynx sleeping in the snow. Minseok feels dizzy. He tries to get up but immediately falls back in the snow.

He falls unconscious again when his body is lifted from the cold ground.


	8. Old Wolf

"Now I have seen it with my own eyes."

Those words make Minseok blink his eyes slowly. His head aches and he's cold. He has no idea where he is. This... seems like a small cabin. In the middle of the woods. Walls are wooden, as well as the floor. Rugs on the floor, making it slightly warmer.

Minseok is wrapped up in a blanket and laying on a soft bed. The small cabin is cozy, but he wished it was warmer. Winter.

"I thought you were just an urban legend."

Minseok looks next to him, where he hears the voice from. An old wolf is sitting on a stool right next to him. He smiles gently, making Minseok a bit fearful.

"Where the hell am I?" he asks bluntly, making the old wolf let out a small laughter.

"You are in my home. You were running so fast last night, right across from my home, in the woods. I followed you, because you seemed lost. Then I saw you transform into this small, petite, lynx form", the old man explains. Minseok just nods his head a couple of times. This wolf saw him transform... He saw the real him.

And is not afraid? That's certainly new.

"You're not afraid of me?" the lynx asks, making the old wolf let out a small chuckle.

"What is there to be afraid of, my son? I am an old wolf. I will die soon. And there are no justifications for the things that I have done. No law judged me for what I did during the war between our clans. It would be better if you ended all those haunting memories." 

Minseok blinks a couple of times, totally amused. 

"You fought in the war?"

The old wolf nods gently, "I was one of the best in the field. After that I had to be tamed. I killed so many of you felines..."

"Are you going to kill me?" Minseok asks, innocently batting his eyes.

"What? No! I am an old man, can't you see? Why would I want any harm to you?"

"Cause... I'm... a lynx?" The old wolf sighs and rubs his eyes for a while. He has a long, grizzly beard.

"I did horrible things to people in your clan. I am truly apologetic for everything that I did. I assure you, I was only fulfilling my orders."

"Well it happened way before I was born. It's not like I know anything about it."

"...But felines have a well education system", the old wolf squints his eyes. Minseok sighs. Not this again. He sits up and turns to the old wolf.

"I didn't go to high school."

Now the man's eyes widen so wide that they almost pop out of their sockets. Minseok feels embarrassed, looking the other way.

"Hoo boy, other felines must be giving you a hard time."

"Yeah... They do... They think I'm dumb..."

"...But in reality, you're battling with this wolf inside of you, _this big bad wolf_."

Minseok looks up at him and blinks a few times with a wondering gaze.

"How did you know?"

"I saw you transform, my son."

Oh, right. He saw Minseok being a wolf and then become a lynx. Maybe this old wolf knows something about why he has this big bad wolf inside of him. Any how, Minseok is grateful that this old man found him. God knows what would have happened to him in the cold snow.

"Right..." He awkwardly massages his shoulder. "Thank you for saving me. Can you tell me where I am?"

"Well you're in the wolf clan's territory, far from home."

Wolf clan territory? Oh, right, he is talking to a wolf right now. It just seemed so natural after all the things that he did the past week.

But god, how far did he run? Within just one night?

"Why... why did I run here?" he wonders, mainly asking from himself.

"I do not know, my son, but my guess is that the wolf inside of you wants to go to his people. His pack. His wolves."

The old man smiles gently when getting up from the stool and walking slowly to the kitchen that is in the same room. The cabin is truly small, there's only this one room.

Minseok follows the old wolf with his eyes as the other gets some bread from the closet. He walks back to Minseok and hands it to him.

"Do not worry. It is healthy. I do not want to cause you any harm."

Reluctantly Minseok takes the piece of bread and takes a bite out of it. He didn't even realize how hungry he was until now. So he ends up eating the bread in just a matter of seconds, making the old wolf laugh at him.

"Can you take me back home?" Minseok asks while munching his bread, the old wolf taking a seat on the stool again.

"Not yet. I have some things to discuss with you. Some... questions to ask you."

"Shoot", Minseok says, now stretching a little bit. He's already started to like this old man and his little cabin. The worried and troubled look on the old wolf's face makes him worried too.

"Your... father... what is his name?"

"I think his name was Kyungmin. But he died when I was little."

"Hmm... Kyungmin... Do you know what your father's parents' names were?"

"Ah... I believe their names were Hyunshik and Unji. But I've heard of rumors of my father being a bastard."

"You shouldn't talk about your father like that, you know."

"Well, I don't know. It's just a rumor." The old wolf chuckles lightly and hides behind his hand. Minseok now takes the covers off himself and stands up. "I need to go back to my wife."

"I see, I see. How does she feel about you... being like this?"

Minseok takes a few steps closer to the door and the old wolf walks behind him. Cold creeps in from the windows. The handle looks like the snow outside. Freezing. Not like the blankets and the fireplace right beside the bed.

"She doesn't know about me. It was an arranged marriage", the lynx points out. For some reason, he trusts this wolf. This old wolf who walks closer to him again, to place his hand on his shoulder.

"I see, they still hold onto their traditions. I hope that some day, they will let go", he exclaims, now a sad look on his face. Minseok looks back at him with worry. Yes, if it was possible, he wouldn't have married Biyu. He would have fallen in love with any omega or beta canine that he found to his liking.

But no. Those are the thoughts that imagination tries to feed Minseok. 

Those good thoughts that would never blossom in reality.

"You are far from home. I have a horse carriage. I will take you to the border", the old wolf explains, opening the door outside, Minseok tailing behind him. "Cover your tail and ears. Wouldn't want anyone knowing what you are."

"...How are you so calm around me? I mean, you did see me as a wolf." Snow is falling from the skies, to add to the cold that is already on the ground. Minseok wishes for spring and light. The lack of sun makes him a little depressed.

"Aren't I a wolf too, my son?"

"Yeah, but... I'm a bad wolf. _Big_ bad wolf."

"...We are not so different, you and I", the old wolf says, leaving Minseok wondering what the hell that means.

They walk to the stables where a lonesome animal, not hybrid, horse is laying on the hay. It seems to be lonely in the coldness. The old wolf wakes it up and sets up the carriage.

"You never told me who you are", Minseok points out. The old wolf sits on the carriage with a chuckle, patting the seat right next to him. This carriage looks like it's about to fall into pieces, but Minseok decides to trust it this once.

"You never told me either. Well, my name is not important. You can just call me Old Wolf. Everybody calls me that."

"Oh..." That's not a name, but Minseok lets it go. This veteran's name is probably not that important to the wolf clan. "My name is Minseok. Lynx Minseok. As a wolf, my name is Xiumin."

"You have two names, two identities. I like that."

"I just recently got my second name", Minseok tells, making the old wolf hum in comprehension.

***

After the old wolf took Minseok to the border of the cat clan, Minseok walked the rest of the journey back to his home. It took him a while, but finally in afternoon, he's reached the place.

Nobody's home, as usual. Everybody's busy. Minseok walks to his room and finds his phone laying in his bed. Biyu or her parents must have tried to break the code. Wolfgang has deleted all the search history related to wolf clan and the messages between them. They could never guess where he was.

Minseok walks to his bed and falls down on it, gripping the sheets in his hand and sighing deeply. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf... Maybe next month he will visit after the full moon, so that he's not in a rush to leave.

And what about that old wolf? Minseok could not deny the similarity between him and the wolf. Could it be that... his father wasn't actually his father, and he's actually a son of a wolf? What if... his other parent was a lynx and the other a wolf?

No, no. He's made research about this. A wolf and a cat cannot have babies. It's against the law of nature...

During the war happens unspeakable things. Horrible things. What were the horrible things happening that made Minseok into what he is? He's always thought it's a curse, but it must not be right. He doesn't believe in curses.

Suddenly Minseok feels energetic. He feels like he has to make research about his father and his family, something that he's never done before because his mother wouldn't let him.

And why did his mother not let him? There's something odd about that. Whether he'll find out the reason why he's like this doesn't matter, what matters is that he'll find at least something, some clue.

He takes his phone and finds his mother's contact. He sends her a message.

_'Hi. Just got back home last night. I'm fine, just wanted to let you know.'_

His mother doesn't reply, but he doesn't care. He knows that his mother will let him home either way. She's probably working right now, and will be for the next few hours, but someone's going to be home.

***

When he rings the doorbell, his little sister comes to open the door. He smiles weakly to the other one whose eyes are red and puffy. She's been crying. He invites himself in, and Irene walks back to her room to cry.

Minseok cannot leave her like that. He goes to her room and sits on the bed, caressing her back gently.

"Is this about the omega?" he asks softly and Irene nods rapidly.

"Yeah... Wendy... the love of my life... who mom won't let me love..."

"I'm so sorry, sis", Minseok says, making Irene feel slightly better. She won't stop crying though. Minseok stands back up and walks to the door. "I'll make you some hot chocolate, okay?"

Irene doesn't reply, just cries on her pillow. Minseok goes to the kitchen and puts water into a kettle and lets it boil. In the meantime he searches the key into the cellar - that place that he hasn't stepped into after the day that he... killed... his father. There is no evidence, but Minseok knows his own memories.

He finds the key and the water is done. He pours the hot water into a mug with some cocoa powder and a little bit of milk. Then he takes it back to his sister who mumbles a thank you under her sobs. Minseok just smiles a bit to her. 

He is about to make his way to the cellar when Irene suddenly speaks up.

"What's it like to be married to a person that you don't love?" she wonders, sitting up and taking a sip of her hot chocolate. Minseok sighs and sits on the bed next to her. He'll have to take all of those things from the cellar and move to his new home before mom comes back home.

"It could be worse", he replies honestly. It is honest, since Biyu is a very nice person. "Biyu's great. We are friends, which is great in a relationship like ours."

"Is it awkward that you have to... like... you know..." she shyly asks. Minseok huffs.

"Neither of us is interested in things like that. So we don't do it."

Irene's ear pop up and her eyes widen.

"You aren't going to have sex?"

"No..." Minseok says immediately. Maybe one day if he has to make kittens with her. "No, no, no. We don't want to. We're friends."

"Oh... If I get married, too, then maybe I don't have to either..."

"I hope that mom will let you and Wendy be together. You two can do whatever you want." Irene smiles shyly and takes a sip of her hot chocolate. Then her eyes are watering again, but this time without sobs. She just stares at the corner of the room, making Minseok delusional about what's in there.

"Don't tell anyone but... we've done it. It was amazing."

"It will be our secret", Minseok promises and smiles. Irene sighs dreamily and smiles to her big brother. 

"What did you come here for, though? I doubt you came here just to see me."

"Ah, well... If I keep your secret, will you keep mine?"

"Of course I will. Anything for you, oppa", she smiles. Minseok feels a bit nervous now.

"I came here to take everything that we have left of father and take them to my home. Do not tell anybody." The look on her Irene's face is dumbfounded when she hears her brother say those things. Minseok regrets opening his mouth now.

"But why? What do you need those for?"

"I just... want to know more about our father. Mom doesn't talk about him much, and I'm a bit lost with who I am", he tells, voice shaking lightly. Irene nods a couple of times with an understanding look on her face.

"Okay... I won't tell anybody. You just take what you need."

"Thank you", Minseok says and then he's off to the cellar. That part of the house that no one these days really enters.

And boy does he find everything that he came to look for. His father's diaries for years, birth certificate, as well as some other things.

Just when he's about to pack everything and take them with him, he takes a better look at the birth certificate. Then his eyes widen and almost pop out of their sockets.

Biological mother, omega lynx female, Unji.

Biological father, alpha grey wolf male, name unknown.

Adoptive father, alpha lynx male, Hyunshik. Husband of Unji lynx. 


	9. Untamed

Minseok lays in his bed. It's morning, and he's reading his father's diary.

His father was half a wolf. But no one knew about it. No one knew. He didn't have the same destiny as Minseok, being a wolf only at midnight, but he was biologically, genetically, half a wolf. And it only seemed to be something that he felt deep down inside of him.

On his 18th birthday, his mother finally broke the truth to him. That she was raped by a canine soldier during the clan wars. And he was the product of that rape.

It made no sense. How could it be? They're different races, they reproduce in a different way. Canines through sex, felines through status. It has to be male and female for canines. And omega and alpha for felines.

But if it was a feline omega female and a canine alpha male, it could be possible.

But this doesn't even answer the question for why Minseok feels like a wolf, since his father's father was a wolf. His father was _half_ a wolf, then why does he feel _entirely_ like a wolf? Why don't his siblings feel like he does? And why is he an alpha with an omega's sign? It just doesn't make any sense.

All the answers are not in Minseok's father's diaries. Actually, they make him even more confused, give him more questions.

Three weeks just fly by with him doing nothing but reading the diaries. Nobody's home usually, so he can have all the peace that he wants. Sometimes he has to clean the house and make dinner, though.

Now all his father's life is clear to him. All that he went through, and would probably still be going through if he wasn't dead. He lived his whole life in constant feeling of neglect. Just like Minseok.

He lays in bed on his back and just thinks about himself and his father. Some of the documents he went through showed that his father indeed tried to do something with his first child. Minseok. Minseok's mind and body. Played tricks on him, physically and mentally.

It was written clearly in his father's diary. That the baby... had some biological components of a wolf. That's what was said to the parents when the mother was pregnant. So his father tried to make his life easier by giving him the physical form of a wolf.

Did he succeed? Of course not.

Did he free Minseok from the pain? He increased it.

Minseok never really had anything negative to think about his father, but reading these things from his diary makes him angry. It wasn't Minseok who killed his father. It was his father himself. And it wasn't Minseok who killed all these innocent people. It was his father.

Tears of frustration run down his cheeks. His father was a psycho. His father is a killer. His father is a fucked up son of a bitch. Did he not think that he would make Minseok's life utter hell? Did he think anything at all? How could something as horrible as this happen from something that was supposed to be done out of pure father's love?

It's horrible. Minseok feels horrible.

It was a betrayal, and the truth hurts. Minseok wished it was all just a coincidence, but now he starts to connect the dots. All of this has a meaning. He is the consequence of horrible things that happened in the past.

And he has nothing to fulfill in his life... Nothing except inner peace.

He has no purpose whatsoever. He was just an unfortunate creature that was born. And there is nobody in the world who feels like he does, nobody who sees the world like he does. He's all alone.

...

But wolves.

Wolves know how he feels.

Wolves howl when the full moon rises.

Wolves hunt when they are hungry.

Wolves run in packs in the sparse forests.

Wolves.

Wolves feel like he does.

And maybe, he's no longer a lone wolf.

***

Minseok's eyes are red and puffy. Tears run down his cheeks and drop on his food that he's sadly trying to chew. Biyu and her parents are staring at him with worry in their eyes.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Biyu's mother asks. Minseok nods slightly.

"You're not okay, Minseok. You're crying", Biyu points out like it wasn't insanely obvious. He's crying and sniffling because he's an alpha wolf in an omega lynx's body. This wasn't what his father wanted. His father wanted to give him freedom, but in the process, killed himself.

What a reckless son of a bitch.

"Maybe you should try and comfort him", Biyu's father suggests. Biyu looks at him with a very troubled look on her face.

She stands up and walks to Minseok, taking a hold of his arm. Minseok stands up when she nudges his arm, and they walk to the living room, away from the parents. The family will be talking about this together later.

Biyu sits down on the couch and Minseok sits right next to her, hiding his tears. She pats his back gently. Minseok hates everything about this. He hates being a housewife. Petite and obedient little omega. He wants to hurt everyone around him. He wants chaos. He wants to rage. He wants to let it out. He wants someone to carry his worries with him.

Somebody. Anybody.

"What's wrong?" Biyu asks with a gentle voice. Minseok falls deeper into the cushions. "Come on, you can tell me anything."

"N-n-nothing is w-wrong, Biyu", Minseok lies. That lie doesn't really convince his wife.

"Yeah, you're crying for no reason."

"I-I ha-have depression. I-it isn't u-uncommon."

"For you it is. I know you, Minseok. You never cry."

"Maybe you haven't known me long enough", Minseok says when he looks up at her in the eyes. She blinks a few times in confusion.

"What does that mean?"

Minseok bites his lip and looks away quickly. He cannot tell her. He can never tell her. He can never tell anyone. She can not know he's actually a wolf, and he sure as hell cannot tell her that he's dà huī láng. Nothing good would come out of that. Biyu's father is a cop. Minseok would be caged in no time. And prison? Fuck that place. Worse than death.

"You know... Sometimes it's just really hard to be an omega. And a lynx. With this scent", he cries. It is true, but not in the way that Biyu thinks.

"Did someone say something bad to you?" she asks, making Minseok cry harder.

"All the time!" She immediately wraps him in her arms. Minseok hugs her back tightly.

"They cannot hurt you. You're safe right here. You don't have to leave this house ever if you don't want to, if you can't. Here you are safe. Here no one will hurt you. Here no one will remind you about your scent."

Those words oddly make Minseok feels slightly better.

***

"What? You're leaving again?" Biyu asks with her eyes wide.

Just a few days ago was the full moon. Minseok didn't transform, which was odd. He is missing the wolf clan. He's missing Jongdae and... Sehun. He's missing a part of him. He's even missing Wolfgang.

"I have to", Minseok assures. Biyu just stomps her foot on the ground. "You have to let me go. Visiting the countryside is the only way for me to ease my depression and give me peace. And my writing... It's so much easier to draw inspiration from nature and it's easier to concentrate in silence."

Minseok is actually writing, but not at the wolf clan. He doesn't really have anything else to do since he's spending every day alone. Biyu sighs deeply. Minseok is standing right before Wolfgang's taxi. The fox is just staring at them arguing. He's got a beanie on his head hiding his big yellow ears. He's getting impatient.

"Besides, you're always working or at school", Minseok drops and this makes Biyu just frustrated.

"And that's why you leave me?! What kind of a reason is that?!"

"It's that it doesn't matter whether I'm here or there, since you won't be seeing me either way!" Minseok yells, making Biyu almost cry. Her lips quiver. Sometimes Minseok wonders if she's actually developed feelings for him. He hopes not, since he cannot bring himself to like her like that.

"Then go! See if I care!" she cries, now running away from him. Minseok sighs deeply and gets in the car. Wolfgang just looks at him, un-amused.

"Not cool", he says when driving off the yard. Minseok huffs and shakes his head when pulling a beanie and a glove from his pocket.

"It's not cool that you're giving me comments about my life. Especially since you do this for a living."

"Touche."

They spend moments in silence. Minseok is just thinking of Biyu. Poor leopard.

The countryside again. All those country cats that never see a car. It's like he was on display. Is that what would happen if somebody found out?

His mother has to know something, doesn't she? He has to talk to her when he gets back. Just now... he doesn't want to see her. Not after how she's been treating his little sister.

"Have you thought of settling in? I mean, it's been a month and you're already visiting again", Wolfgang speaks, making Minseok jump. He looks at the wolf with a shocked look on his face but it soon fades back to normal.

"No. I can't settle there. But I really can't live in the cat clan, either."

"I see." They drive a moment in silence, just the humming of the engine audible. "I know what it feels like to be without a home."

Minseok raises his eyebrows when hearing this from Wolfgang.

"You have been homeless?"

"Well, I've always had a place where to spend the night", Wolfgang exclaims, thinking back to those times. He's got a dreamy look on his face when staring at the icy road. Minseok takes a better seat to listen to him better. Wolfgang always has something new and cool to say. "But I didn't always have a family. No friends. Didn't know where I belonged."

"How did you find that out?"

"I went to places. I found... Sehun", Wolfgang says, smirking, now looking back at Minseok. He finally takes the beanie off his head to let his big yellow ears stand out. Those majestic ears. Minseok wishes his ears were as cool. "He was my family for a while. I slept at his place, he at mine, we spent nights in motels, and one day his father found us. Like, we were right at it."

"Oh wow", Minseok wows. To be honest he's a little jealous over Wolfgang and Sehun's past. He kind of wishes he had something like that with someone, anyone, but when he hears Wolfgang talk like that about Sehun... the alpha in him just starts to feel something. The thoughts of Sehun, his voice, his scent... Uh, Minseok tries to forget, but they come back. They should stop talking about Sehun.

"And it was his first time, so... Uh... Let's just say that we didn't meet each other after that", Wolfgang finishes. Minseok tilts his head.

"Let's pretend so or you didn't actually see each other?"

"We saw each other, okay, we just stopped all the romantic stuff. His father really didn't like me."

"I can imagine, honestly", Minseok rolls his eyes playfully while smirking. Wolfgang punches his shoulder gently. "And what did you do then?"

"This. I had already found myself in shady places with shady people, so I started owning it."

"And you made friends with thieves and murderers", Minseok says, to which Wolfgang nods his head.

"Traitors mostly, but I believe in second chances, Xiumin. That's why I do this. I give second chances to people that were unfortunate enough to screw their previous ones", he explains, making Minseok thoughtful. He didn't think that there was something as noble behind his intentions. But these are... criminals, felons... And then again, those people that he has always deemed as enemies are also people. He used to hate felons, until he realized that he's one of them. "Just like Sehun did to me."

"He gave you another chance?" Minseok wonders. It's starting to get dark outside. He'll be at the motel before midnight.

"I'm not the kind of guy who's... with guys. I'm as straight as a ruler", Wolfgang says, now looking at Minseok. This road is very straight, so he doesn't really have to look where he's going. "But with Sehun, I just... we just had that something, you know? I held him in my arms and told him not to worry, those bad guys aren't after him anymore-"

"Those bad guys?"

"He was chased by a jackal-dingo gang. The day before, he was chased by a fox gang."

"...A gang that you were a part of." Now Wolfgang looks back at the road. They're on the wolf clan's territory by now.

"You're good at this game, Xiumin." 

"Sehun gave you another chance even after you tried to catch him and...?"

"Give him to our gang leader. See, he swings that way. He kind of wanted Sehun as his trophy. For being the king of the streets or whatever." Minseok looks outside the window. That makes his skin crawl. No one in the cat clan would even want to be called such a thing. It's... savage. They're savages.

"Then you didn't catch him."

"We would be dead, believe you me. His father doesn't want anyone touching him." Wolfgang sounds very serious. He must not like the idea of anyone having Sehun, either. "And what about your pull? You still feel it?"

"I can't stop dreaming about him." Wolfgang sighs deeply, but honestly Minseok doesn't know what he's done wrong. Is liking Sehun wrong?

"Get used to it. Just remember that you'll never have him."

"How'd a straight guy like you end up with a guy?" Minseok tries, but this just makes Wolfgang glare at him.

"Sometimes our heads confuse us. Sometimes our emotions speak louder than what we think about ourselves. Sometimes we lie. And sometimes... it just happens."

"And what happened between you and Sehun, just happened. Nothing else."

Wolfgang stays quiet and looks at the road. He doesn't seem to be very happy today. Talking about Sehun seems to be making him depressed.

Minseok doesn't want to be the cause of anyone's depression, so he tries talking about something else.

"After I left the wolf clan last time, I ran back during the full moon." Now that makes Wolfgang's eyes almost pop out of their sockets.

"You _ran_ back here?!"

"Yeah. I ran to the woods."

"You sound like an untamed wolf."

Taming... what is that all about? Is his wolf form a wild wolf? Is that why he's like that?

"Is there a way to tame me?" Minseok wonders, sounding excited. His excitement is cut short, though. Wolfgang just huffs.

"You are a lynx. Nobody but the military tame wolves. So, in any case, bad idea. If you surrender to them, you'll be as good as dead." Minseok sighs deeply and falls back into his seat, depressed. "Don't be so down about it. At least you are not an untamed lynx. Now that would be horrifying."

"We don't go wild in the cat clan. It just doesn't happen."

"Doesn't happen, or everyone in your clan know how to tame."

That makes Minseok's eyes open widely. Kittens are untamed. That's why his mother-in-law wants him to learn how to take care of them.

Everything is horrible. He just wants to open the door and let himself get killed by the car.

He is not. Going. To breed. Any. Fucking. Kitten.

"Tell me about veterans", Minseok says. He has to get his mind off things.

"Veterans just fought in the clan wars. They're not very respected, though."

"What was their strategy in the war?"

Wolfgang looks at him weirdly. Why would Minseok even ask about something like that?

"They let the soldiers become wild, put them in the woods to live there for a month. After they were taken back, they were totally untamed. They couldn't speak, turn back into their hybrid forms, they couldn't think. All they could think of was to kill to survive and rescue the pack. That is what the commanders did and then sent them to your clan."

That's horrifying, Minseok thinks. He leans on his hand against the window. So his only way to get peace is to be tamed by the military of the wolf clan.

"The big bad wolf kills like they did in war. What you're doing is very political. It makes us look like the enemy."

"It is not my intention, and you know tha-"

"Yeah. I do know that", Wolfgang says with a calm voice even though Minseok is baffled. It felt like Wolfgang was accusing him. "You cannot control yourself. I get it."

"Couldn't anyone in the cat clan tame the wolf inside me? The killing has to stop."

"No. It is much harder to bring an untamed canine back than any other hybrid. Even a bear is easier to be tamed than a grey wolf."

Minseok sighs again. He loses all hope now. Maybe tomorrow he'll have something to be hopeful about again.

In the meantime, all he can think about is taming the big bad wolf inside of him.


	10. Bruises

"Wait here for a minute, I'll go get us some coffee!" Jongdae hypes up. He's just so happy to be with Minseok. Minseok himself is more than happy to see Jongdae again. For the first time in his entire life he feels he's made a _true_ friend. A friend who doesn't think he's different. A friend who doesn't think he's a freak or crazy. A friend who's excited to see him.

Yesterday Minseok called Jongdae and told him that he's back in town. He didn't even think about calling Sehun. Screw him, he doesn't need any trouble. He already is in trouble if someone finds out he's a lynx. And sooner or later he would transform in prison, and that wouldn't be a nice thing. Then he would definitely be dead.

Now he's standing on the street, a wide smile on his face as he's waiting for his friend to come back from the cafe. Cool breeze caresses his face.

"Xiumin?"

Dammit. Minseok would recognize that scent anywhere. Just as he thought that no more trouble. He shouldn't have let Jongdae go into the cafe on his own.

Slowly he turns around to see a very hurt arctic fox. His lip is quivering and his eyebrows are furrowed. Minseok knows he's in deep shit right now. But he has to make sure to let go of Sehun, to tell him that they cannot meet again. While they still can ignore the pull. They don't even know each other, it shouldn't be that hard... right?

"You didn't call me", Sehun says with a very hurt voice, biting his lip, looking at the ground. Then he looks at the cafe where Jongdae is waiting for two coffees. "Instead you called him. How long have you been here?"

"I came here at night. Day before yesterday."

Sehun pouts. A whole day and a half with Xiumin being in the clan and not telling him. Minseok doesn't understand why Sehun is so hurt, it's not like they had something going on. They literally had nothing going on except for an attempt to kiss and hold hands while running away with stolen goods. Fleeting moments that should not have happened.

"Shouldn't you be home where your father is?" Minseok asks with a snarky voice to which the fox huffs, now glaring at him.

"I am not a prisoner of my own home", Sehun replies with a pointy nose. Minseok just rolls his eyes. How's Sehun like that today? Though he is very bratty and blunt with his words.

If he can't make Sehun disappear by ignoring him, maybe he could make him hate him? If Minseok hurts Sehun, the other might just not want to talk to him again.

Okay, maybe his father might figure it out and he'd be in deeper shit. Better to ignore.

Jongdae turns around with the coffees in his hands, smiling at Minseok who smiles back. He sees Sehun next to the wolf but seems like he's ignoring the fox. Maybe he doesn't want to get in trouble either?

"Great. I'm air to all of you", Sehun sighs, shrugging. "Goodbye, Xiumin."

Just as he's about to walk away, two wolves come out behind the corner. Sehun's eyes widen when he sees the alpha wolf in front of him. He's scared.

Minseok doesn't know what is happening, but his instinct tells him to protect Sehun. An alpha shouldn't threaten a beta for no reason. That's just wrong. Well, no one should threaten anyone, but especially alphas should keep their threats inside their own circles.

The grey wolf walks in front of the arctic fox. The two alpha wolves glare at each other, Minseok feels scared but doesn't let it show. His alpha wolf instincts have never kicked in like this.

Jongdae stays inside the cafe. Coward. Minseok glances at him but the hyena doesn't even see him.

"This is the petite alpha wolf that you left our leader for?" the wolf before Minseok asks, looking at Sehun. The fox looks terrified. He's almost breaking down in tears. It feels genuine. Minseok can _feel_ his sincerity and fear.

"Please don't-" Sehun begs when the wolf grabs Minseok's arm. "Don't! I hardly even know him! He's just visiting! Please!"

Minseok and Sehun are dragged behind the corner by the two wolves. Minseok feels fearful and betrayed. Jongdae didn't do anything... He just left them to be dragged away.

They are taken to the end of the street where a small gang of wolves are waiting with baseball bats in their hands. They all have freaky hairstyles, weird colors, weird looks. Even their ears are dyed. They wear leather clothing... that is something that makes Minseok almost throw up. Yeah they're not like the wolves in the wild but they're still inherited from them. That's disgusting.

The scent of alpha and beta wolves is strong in the air. A lady walks up to Minseok, smirking and caressing his face. An alpha wolf walks to Sehun, taking his face in his hands.

Minseok doesn't know what is happening. He can't breathe when the lady pushes a knife against his stomach, pushing it gently. He doesn't even let out a noise as she bites his cheeks. She's a beta... Minseok is paralyzed by fear.

"You don't have to do this", Sehun shakes his head and cries. The alpha wolf hushes him and dries his tears. Then another wolf hits Sehun's shin with a bat. The fox lets out a scream that makes the alpha wolf furious... but to his own gang member. He takes a bottle from the ground and hits the other wolf with it, anger in his eyes.

"Nobody, I said nobody! Hurts Sehun arctic fox. If he is hurt, all our lives are at stake!" he announces, now crouching next to the other wolf who's on the ground. He spits on him. "If you hurt him again, I will personally turn you in to Junghoon. And trust me, you don't want that."

"What do we do with this guy? He took your place", the lady beta says, licking Minseok's face, the bite mark on his cheek. Maybe being a feline in the cat clan wasn't all that bad after all. Just maybe.

The leader of the gang, presumably, just looks at Minseok with an arrogant gaze. He takes Sehun's hand in his and walks up to the smaller wolf.

"Kill him", he says coldly. Those words make Minseok freeze.

Well it was good while it lasted. Minseok would now say goodbye to his life because the beta wolf throws him on the ground and another one hits his chest with a baseball bat. One is walking closer to him with a crowbar in his hand.

"No! Stop it!" Sehun cries, trying to run to Minseok. But the leader keeps him in place and forces him to watch.

Minseok tries to cover his head as the wolves kick him to lay on his stomach. One hits him right between his arms on his lumbar region, making him scream in agony. The pain is unbearable as the wolves kick him, hit him with bats and finally the one beating the shit out of his legs with a crowbar.

Sehun trembles and cries. Minseok can feel it... He can feel that Sehun is terrified. Why does it make him feel better? Sehun crying over Minseok being beaten up makes him feel better...

His legs feel like breaking and lungs burn, feel empty. This must be what hell feels like. The pain radiates everywhere and the screams won't stop, even when a wolf forces a ball of foil in his mouth. It stings.

Minseok mentally says goodbye to his little siblings. Maybe he'll meet his father again. Maybe he can tell him why he did it. Maybe his pain will finally end... but before that, it just increases with every hit on his body.

Sehun takes a knife out of the leader's pocket and aims it at his own stomach. His hands are shaking and tears drop on the ground. The leader looks at him with a shocked look on his face, trying to catch the knife. He gives up when every attempt just draws the knife nearer to Sehun's skin.

"If you kill him, then I will cut myself and tell my father that you did it!" he cries. All the wolves immediately stop beating Minseok. He feels so exhausted and dizzy that he doesn't even know what is happening. His world is black and blurry.

The leader tries to calm Sehun down, but the latter cannot think clearly. He cannot witness this wolf being beaten to death.

"Let's talk this out, Sehun-"

"There is nothing to talk about! If you kill him, then I will make sure that my father kills you!" he screams, drawing the blade nearer to his stomach. The leader wolf sighs deeply and looks at him in the eyes with a troubled look.

Minseok tries to raise his head. One wolf's boots are in the way of his view. Sehun's defending him? Obviously he's just protecting himself, he wouldn't want to witness a man being murdered...

"What do we do, Valerico?" the wolf before Minseok asks. He's swinging his baseball bat from side to side, making Minseok nervous. He's just glad that nobody's beating him up anymore. This will be one hell of a story to tell Jongdae-

But oh. Jongdae didn't even do anything when they were pulled behind the corner. Which means that Jongdae will definitely hear about this, as well as a million of accusations.

Wolfgang won't like this.

"...We're letting him go", the leader wolf replies. "This is not over, Sehun. One day you will be my little fox again."

"I was never your little fox. I am my own person", Sehun grunts, tears rushing down his face. The leader scoffs. He crouches next to Minseok to take the foil out of his mouth. Two other wolves help him back on his feet. The leader walks to Sehun and places a kiss on his cheek.

"Till we meet again, my darling."

Minseok's whole world shakes. It's darkening. His legs feel like giving up. His head hurts. His body is in bruises. Sehun rushes to him to help him stand.

"If I find out he's hurt again, I will tell my father that you threatened to kill _me_ ", the fox says. The whole gang takes their distance. What a relief that Sehun was here, Minseok thinks. Though, without Sehun, this wouldn't have happened... He's pretty sure that there's something between the leader and the arctic fox.

The two limp their way out of the street. Other people are staring at them as they walk together, Sehun now drying his tears and Minseok trying his hardest to stay conscious as well as on his feet.

"I need to take you to the hospital", Sehun says. Weirdly enough, this makes Minseok wake up. He shakes his head rapidly. Almost so that he's falling unconscious again.

"No, no, no... I just need to... lay somewhere... for a while..."

"No, you need to go to the hospital-"

"Sehun", Minseok cuts him off. The said person is really trying his hardest to support them both. People stare at them and even stop when they walk towards them to see the horrible sight of what the gangs do. "I just need somewhere to rest."

"For fuck's sake, Xiumin", Sehun huffs and takes a better hold of him, his own feet feeling like they're going to give out. The one wolf did hit his shin with a bat. "You can't just rest it off."

"I've done worse. Alone", Minseok replies. To be honest, his transformations during the full moon are way worse. Though its' objective is not to kill him.

And he's done all that alone.

Sehun sighs deeply, "If you insist. But you have to promise me to not die."

"I can't promise you that."

"Oh for fuck's sake." That makes Sehun walk a little faster. He stops after a while though. "This won't work. I need to take you to my home. I have experience with these kinds of wounds, I can help you. But this will take forever if I don't carry you."

So he let's Minseok stand on his own for a second before he runs in front of him. Minseok tries to climb on his back, but his aching body won't let him. Sehun gets on his knees so the other can grab him and cling onto him like his dear life depends on it. When he's settled, Sehun stands up with wobbly feet. His shin hurts but it's bearable.

Even after an attempt to be killed, Minseok feels happy. He's happy when his face is laying against Sehun's back. He's happy when Sehun cares about him. It feels nice...

But honestly, who even is Sehun? He just knows that he finds him attractive and that he likes male alpha wolves. And his father doesn't like that. And his father is kind of a big deal.

They stay silent for the rest of the walk, which is about ten minutes, until they reach Sehun's mansion. Minseok definitely sees the income differences now. These houses look way fancier than the ones downtown.

A dog hybrid walks to them. She seems to be a German Shepherd. Her eyes widen when she sees the two.

"My goodness, Sehun, what happened?" she asks with a gasp. Sehun shakes his head.

"No time to explain. I gotta hurry."

"Let me help you two inside", she offers as she walks to the door of Sehun's mansion and opens the door. Why isn't it locked, Minseok doesn't question. Right now he doesn't really care.

"Thank you, Tiffany", the fox thanks and the dog nods her head once. Sehun gets inside, Tiffany closes the door behind them and Minseok almost passes out. Sehun quickly hurries to his own room where he lays Minseok down on the bed. Then he runs off to the bathroom where the med kit is.

Minseok looks at the ceiling. His head hurts so much so he just closes his eyes, hoping that it would go away.

It takes a while for him to process what just happened. He was about to be killed. Someone tried to get him dead. Why doesn't it even feel like anything? There's something very much wrong if someone wanting him head doesn't even make him feel! And the fact that he cannot feel anything about it makes him all the more scared.

He would be dead if it wasn't for Sehun. But then again he wouldn't have been beaten up in the first place if it wasn't for Sehun.

The fox runs back into his room. Minseok just then realizes how white his room is. The sheets, the walls... There's some paintings and posters on the wall. Even the curtains before the window are white. Even the desk, even the nightstand, even the chair. The floor is wooden, at least that isn't white. But the rug is...

It kind of reminds Minseok of his wife.

"I need you to take your jacket and shirts off. Otherwise I can't do this", Sehun says. Minseok doesn't even care. He takes his jacket off with Sehun's help, hissing at the pain in his whole body. Then he takes off his shirts, and with that he loses his beanie.

Sehun's eyes widen when he sees the black tussles on his ears. His lips form "oh", as if this wasn't something to be freaked out about. Minseok is freaking out though. Sehun is staring right at his ears and his father is probably going to kill him. He's going to jail and transform in jail and be figured out as da hui lang and then executed. It's as simple as that.

Now this is actually way scarier than the near death experience. Minseok looks up at the ceiling and tries to breathe calmly, but his panic is very obvious.

Sehun doesn't care. He just opens the med kit and starts to clean Minseok's wounds. He also brings a bucket full of water to first clean his skin with a wet towel. Minseok bites his own lips with every press of the towel. Sehun touches a spot on Minseok's arm. It's badly bruised.

"You seem to have internal bleeding."

"Can you do something about it?"

"You are very lucky that I do. It doesn't seem like there's too much blood, so I don't need to open it. It will get better with rest and a proper hydration. Do not move, you have to rest." Sehun then runs to someplace again and comes back with a big glass of water. He helps Minseok sit against the headboard and to drink some water. Some of it drips on Minseok's chest and Sehun stares at it for a moment. "Do you know if you broke something?"

"I... don't think I did. But then again I hardly feel anything."

"I wish we could go to the hospital... Ugh..." Sehun grabs his own hair and sits on the edge of his bed. Minseok almost feels bad for him. Almost. If he wasn't feeling exhausted and all.

"Thank you, by the way. For saving me from getting killed and for cleaning my wounds and for... not panicking about... my ears..." Minseok says, now closing his eyes again. Sehun turns to look at him with a worried look.

"Wolfgang has told me about people like you. Was he... the one that brought you here?" he wonders. Minseok nods gently.

"Second chance, am I right?"

"Yes... You're right..." Sehun climbs back on the bed to clean Minseok's chest. There's a burn mark on his skin, probably from the friction of his clothes and the ground. He spreads some lotion on it. Minseok opens his eyes when he feels the cold substance against his skin, looking at Sehun. He looks so caring. Why do everyone else see him as a brat? Minseok just stares at his long fingers rubbing on his skin. Then his long eyelashes before the other looks up at him when feeling the stare on his face.

"I don't understand. I asked you last time if you feel the pull. How can I feel the pull if you're a feline?" His look is so sincere. It makes Minseok rather emotional. Someone cares about him. At least it feels like it.

"I don't want to keep this a secret from you. But you have to keep it to yourself, okay?" Minseok says, to which Sehun nods quickly. "If anyone finds out about me, I will be caged."

"I can take it."

"...My grandfather is a wolf. I'm just searching for my roots."

That makes Sehun freeze. His jaw drops and he looks at both Minseok's eyes alternatively.

"I'm trying to figure out who I am. I was born as an omega lynx with the scent of an alpha wolf." As he says that, Sehun immediately takes his distance. He looks at the glove. This just breaks Minseok's heart.

"No. That's impossible. It can't be possible!" Sehun panics now. "Felines and canines cannot mix."

"They can if it's a feline omega female and canine alpha male", Minseok explains. Sehun looks away. Silence falls between them as Minseok just stares at him, yearning for his acceptance.

"So you're not from the countryside."

"I'm from the city."

"Everything I thought I knew about you is gone."

"Then it's good that you didn't know me for long."

Sehun seems so confused. He just gets up and helps Minseok lay down on the bed. He covers him with the blanket. Minseok stares up at him with big eyes, hoping that Sehun would reply to his look. But why? Wasn't he supposed to get away from Sehun? The fucking pull makes his life so hard.

"Get some rest now."

Minseok nods his head and closes his eyes. Sehun sighs deeply.

"I'm sorry for pulling you into all this, Xiumin. I swear to protect you from my father and all the authorities. Your secret will be safe with me."

"...Thank you."

***

In his dream, Minseok sees a wolf with midnight dark fur. He chases him to the forests. Snow is settled and the chilly air bites. Minseok's fingers feel numb. Snowflakes float in the air and settle on the ground. When the wolf stops, it transforms into Minseok. Minseok with wolf ears and a wolf tail.

_"I'm glad you've finally let it out. Now you need to let me out."_

Then he wakes up when feeling something on his wrist, caressing his skin with warm fingers. When he opens his eyes, he sees a very sad-looking Sehun. He's caressing the scars on Minseok's wrist and seems troubled.

"They're old", the wolf says, making Sehun jump up. He immediately lets go of the wrist and gasps.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Of course you did. You lowered my glove to see my omega mark but instead you saw scars on my wrist." Sehun looks down and his face seems to be getting red. "Did I get it right?"

Sehun doesn't reply. He just awkwardly sits there. There's silence for a while. Minseok's head still hurts and his body feels like it weighs thousand kilos.

"How long did I sleep?" he asks. Sehun looks at the clock on his nightstand.

"About three hours."

"Oh wow. What were you doing all that time?"

"Thinking about stuff and making a phone call. Cleaning all your wounds and bandaging some." Minseok just nods his head. He didn't even notice the bandages on his chest. The grit on the ground really messed up his shirt and skin. Why wasn't his jacket closed?

Just then they hear steps from outside the door. Sehun almost panics, but only almost. Minseok sure as hell panics, he's not ready to meet anyone who lives in the same house with the fox.

Sehun grabs Minseok's beanie and puts it on his head. It's priority. Then he throws Minseok's clothes at him, Minseok taking them in his hands immediately and putting them on. He holds his jacket when Sehun forces him to stand up and hide in the closet. He shushes the wolf. Minseok has no idea what is going on, but he watches from a small hole in the closet door. Sehun throws the med kit on the floor and kicks it under the bed. He covers the white bed with the blanket to hide the blood and then jumps on it, pretending to be napping.

The door opens and a very angry man walks in. Sehun keeps his eyes closed when an alpha fox sits on the edge of the bed. He takes a hold of Sehun's leg, but the other pretends that he's not even there.

"Sehun, why do you keep doing this? What wrong did I do to make you do all these things?" the alpha asks as he gets up from the bed now, staring outside into the streets to keep his calm. Sehun still pretends to not hear. "I didn't raise you to be a thief!"

Minseok assumes that this is Sehun's father. The father turns around and shakes Sehun's shoulder but the son almost hits him. Just almost. The father grips his wrist and glares at him, now sitting on the bed again.

"First you run away from home to spend the night at a club, then run to a store where you steal a golden necklace for what reason exactly?! To seduce an alpha male?!"

"There was no seducing involved!" Sehun yells back at his father but won't look at him. He won't even open his eyes. "I was with my friends!"

"You're stealing with your friends?! And who might those be?!"

"Can't I even have friends?! I'm too old for you to boss me around anymore!"

"You know that the only reason that you're not in jail is because of me!"

This makes Sehun finally open his eyes, sit up and scream straight to his father's face, "Then why don't you just lock me up?!"

The father slaps Sehun right across his face. That slap made Minseok let out a small noise of shock, but he covers his mouth immediately.

The father turns around to lean his arms on his knees and cover his head. Sehun falls on the bed to cry.

"...Why? Why can't you tell me a reason why you torture me like this? I am so sorry for hitting you. It wasn't my intention... I just have a lot of stress. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you... Can you forgive me?"

Sehun doesn't reply, just sniffles.

"Sehun... Please... You know that I love you and I don't want any harm to your way-"

"Then why would you hit me?!"

The father sighs deeply. He seems like he's on the verge of breakdown. Sehun sure as hell is. He's grabbing the sheets and crying against his pillow. Minseok had no idea that the relationship between Sehun and his father was this sad. He just knew that the father is over-protective.

"Work has been stressful and then you-... You make it even worse."

"Oh wouldn't I just love to hear all about it", Sehun sobs now, his voice breaking at the end.

"I know you don't want to hear it, Sehun, but I'm obviously very worried about what you're doing with your life right now. You're being reckless, you're being out of control... and I honestly don't know what to do with you."

"Then how about leave me the fuck alone?"

"...I cannot do that. I love you too much to leave you alone."

"What bullshit. You lock me up in my room for days and then just expect me to love you for it? You're not even home! When I ask you to leave me the fuck alone I don't mean that you walk out that door and leave me to rot here for days! You don't even show up!"

"I do show up-"

"-Only if I run away or do something bad."

"...Is that why you do those things? To make me show up?"

Sehun doesn't reply. He just hugs himself on the bed and cries so much there's no end to his tears. Minseok feels so bad for him. He's just so misunderstood and needs some fatherly love. He just misses his father and the other hasn't even realized it.

"...Would you like to... do something together today?"

The silence that falls in the room after the father's question is very awkward.

The father stands up. He seems to be sniffing the air and following his nose to the closet. Minseok's heart almost stop beating. Sehun looks at Minseok through the hole on the door as the father creeps nearer. Minseok is panicking but of course Sehun doesn't do anything about it.

Then the father opens the closet doors and Minseok looks at him with big eyes. The alpha fox isn't too amused by this.

"...You said that there were no alpha wolves involved", he says to his son who looks up at him, crying and hugging himself.

"We didn't do anything. Some gang roughed him up and I helped him." The father looks at his son with a relieved look. He smiles a little.

"Really? You helped him? How did you know how to?"

"...I have experience..."

"I see something good has come out of you hanging out with those guys." The father turns to Minseok again. He glares nevertheless. Minseok gulps. Is he going to die now? "Get. Out."

Minseok does as he's told and steps out of the closet. Sehun gets up and stands before his father, holding his shoulders.

"Dad, he needs to rest", he tries to calm the alpha down, but to no avail. His father looks at Minseok with eyes that tell him to leave.

"He can do it someplace else."

"Dad-"

"It's okay, Sehun, I'll leave." Minseok just looks at the two foxes as he takes steps back. Sehun looks honestly troubled and confused as he looks at the other. He's worried, Minseok can feel it.

Before he's out the door, he looks at the two. Sehun sits down on the bed and hides his face. The father leans on the closet and rubs his temples.

"Tell me everything", the father says to Sehun before finally sitting next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. Sehun immediately takes distance. Minseok takes this as his cue to leave. He'll meet Sehun again, that he is sure of.


	11. Home

Minseok grabs Jongdae by the collar and pushes him against the wall. They're at the info where Jongdae works. People are looking at them, but quickly look the other way.

Jongdae gasps when seeing his friend.

"I-I thought you were dead!" he stutters when seeing the familiar face. Minseok shakes him.

"Well I was about to be killed! And you just stood there! Doing nothing! When I was taken to die!" he sounds panicked and hurt, and most of all, angry. Jongdae doesn't help by being even more panicked.

"I don't know about what you do on the countryside, but whenever gangs vandalize here, we know to keep to ourselves", Jongdae explains, defending himself. "I saw you with Sehun. Being with him is an ill omen to all of us and you should know that!"

Minseok's look softens and he loosens the grip. Jongdae sighs in relief.

"...It's nice to know you're so selfish. You know, Sehun saved me", the wolf explains to which Jongdae immediately shakes his head.

"Sehun almost got you killed. Tell me, Xiumin, why was he even talking to you?" The worry on Jongdae's face is evident. Minseok cannot believe it. This guy would've let him die!

"You expect me to trust you after this?" Minseok huffs and pushes the other harder against the wall. Jongdae raises his hands on either side of himself to show his innocence.

"Okay, okay, I get it. But if we're being real here, I am the one who should give up my trust on you. You spending time with Sehun will pull me into all kinds of trouble, potentially die. You might get me and my family dead."

His family dead? Is that really what might happen if Jongdae spent time with him? Is that what might happen to Minseok, too? Being around Sehun is too dangerous, that's for sure. Not that Sehun is dangerous, but people around him are.

Minseok cannot but feel bad for him, though. He just needs some love, but everyone around him are bad people who want to hurt others. It's abusive relationships everywhere.

He lets go of Jongdae and sighs deeply, pulling his own hair. Why is everything so hard? Well, no one said it would be easy, though... He was just lucky in the first visit. It's all Sehun's fault.

But wouldn't it be Minseok's cue to leave? He's already found enough. He's at least found something that puts his mind at ease. He knows what he should do in order to tame the wolf inside of him, but he doesn't have the authority to get the help he needs.

So he shouldn't dream about life in this clan, but to make the most of what he can in the cat clan.

"I'm going to leave", he says, to which Jongdae just looks at him weirdly.

"Leave? Where?"

"Home", Minseok replies, looking at his friend with a betrayed look. His whole body is still aching a bit from the beating. Jongdae grabs his arms, accidentally pushing some of Minseok's bruises. The lynx hisses.

"What? You just came here, Xiumin. You can't leave so quick."

"This place isn't safe for me. Besides, I was just supposed to get some oil for my mother", Minseok lies. "This place isn't for me."

Jongdae shakes Minseok's arms but the latter pushes him off. They just stare at each other for a moment before the lynx looks away.

"Goodbye, Jongdae. You were a good friend to me while it lasted."

"Xiumin, please don't-"

"I said goodbye, Jongdae", he says before walking away. Jongdae closes his eyes shut tightly before whispering goodbye to him, too.

True friend, fuck it. Minseok will leave this place and stop whining about the things that he can't have at the cat clan. At least he has a home there. At least he has a family.

***

Wolfgang is waiting at the parking lot. He gives Minseok his phone back but he's awfully silent as the lynx puts his things on the backseat and takes a seat in the front. Wolfgang starts the engine and then they hit the road. In silence.

Minseok is thinking about everything but nothing at the same time. His mind is filled with thoughts that leave his head immediately when he tries to recall them. Only the snowflakes floating in the air give him something meaningful to think about.

After about twenty minutes of silence, Wolfgang finally opens his mouth. He cannot stay silent forever.

"Sehun called me."

So that's who Sehun called when Minseok was sleeping. Of course.

"I told you not to get close to him."

"I didn't-"

"You were in his bedroom", Wolfgang grunts as he grips the steering wheel. He must have been holding that anger in for quite some time. Minseok feels a little scared by this.

"He helped me. He patched me up after a gang almost killed me. They threatened to kill me."

"Because you were with Sehun, and everyone knows that every gang leader who's into boys wants to have him. You should not have been with Sehun at any point." This makes Minseok just furious.

"I wasn't with Sehun at any point! He was with me! He was the one who pulled me behind the stall with his stolen goods, he was the one who dragged me after him, he was the one who almost kissed me and he was the one who walked up to me at the street when I was waiting for Jongdae!"

"And he was the one who saw your ears, and he is the one whose heart is broken because of that!"

Minseok looks at Wolfgang with a hurt look. How could he defend Sehun in this situation? And especially Sehun's heartache? Minseok didn't do anything to Sehun, the fox did all this to himself. Wolfgang is just being a biased son of a bitch who's in love with Sehun and Minseok knows it! And for some reason, he's jealous about it!

"I told you that no one can know you're from the cat clan! No one!"

"Well that wasn't exactly a part of my plan!"

After that they sit in silence again. Minseok knows he fucked up, but so did Sehun. This is all Sehun's fault.

***

At the border of the two clans, Wolfgang gets out and opens the door for Minseok. The lynx looks up at him with big eyes.

"Why did we stop? We're not even near my home yet."

"Who said I'm driving you there?" Wolfgang huffs, now gripping Minseok's shoulder. "Get. The fuck. Out of. My. Car."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Minseok asks, trying to push the other away. Wolfgang is stronger than him, however, so he's pulled out of the car in no second.

"You should be thankful that I let you live. Usually when my clients are exposed, I drive them to the woods and shoot them in their head", he grits his teeth together. Minseok looks up at him with fear in his eyes. "I like you, Minseok. That's why I won't kill you."

"How am I supposed to get home?"

"Not my problem." Wolfgang opens the back door and throws all of Minseok's stuff outside. Then he sits behind the steering wheel and drives away, making a U-turn right back to the wolf clan.

Minseok just stares at him drive away. He doesn't know what to do, where to go, or where to even start. If he stays here, he'll freeze to death. But the way is too long to walk.

For a while he doesn't do anything but sit on the snow, his butt freezing off.

And in no time, tears run down his face. He sobs as he stands up, picking up his luggage and starting his journey on foot. He'll find an inn on the way and sleep there the night. Then he'll maybe call someone to come pick him up in the morning.

It's freezing cold. Why, oh why, isn't it spring yet?

Wolfgang was unfair for leaving him here. But then again he was fair for saving his life. This was Minseok's second time in the wolf clan and he's already screwed it up. Well at least Sehun won't give him any more trouble.

He decides that after he comes back home, he'll tell Biyu about him being da hui lang. Then he'll build a bunker to the cellar and spend every full moon there. Biyu can help him. She has to help him. She knows and accepts what to do in order to save everyone... Save the felines in the clan and potentially prevent a war from arising between the clans.

His legs hurt, and it's pitch black outside. He cannot stop crying, shivering nor panicking as he finally sees light in the darkness. Some birds make noises in the night.

The road is slippery, but he starts to run in the first sight of light. He hasn't eaten in hours, after he left the wolf clan. He at least has money with him.

The inn looks just like any farm house, except for the small sign on the road. Minseok doesn't wait, he just runs inside. There are only two people at the inn, one sitting at a table with a drink in his hand and one standing behind another table, leaning on it. She smiles brightly when she sees the lynx.

Minseok takes off his beanie and puts it in his pocket. If people see him as a lynx, then he at least hopes that they won't see him as an omega. The innkeeper's smile drops when she smells Minseok's scent and sees his ears.

"You just came from the wolf clan, traveler? You smell like a canine", she drops. Minseok nods rapidly, now drying his tears. "Don't worry. You will be safe here. Would you like a room? Something to eat, drink?"

"How much would some water, bread and a bed for a night cost?"

"All those I will give you for... 30 gold. You seem like you've had your share of unfortunate things for tonight", the innkeeper says, making Minseok smile to her gently. She turns around to take a bottle of water and bread with salad and ham inside of it from the fridge. Then she turns to the board behind her to take a key hanging from it. "Your room will be the last one upstairs. There's only three. It's the number three."

"Thank you", Minseok thanks as he takes the gold from his pocket. There's just enough. He's only left with 4 gold.

"Safe travels. By the way, we have wi-fi, too."

Minseok nods and takes the water, bread and the key. He heads upstairs where's a small hallway with three doors. He takes the last one with the number three on it.

The room isn't all that glamorous, but it's a room. There's only a single bed, nightstand, a table with one chair and a very, very small bathroom in the very corner of the room. Literally just a valve with a hose and a toilet sitting there next to each other. Is that supposed to be a shower?

He doesn't have too much time to think about it. He just leaves all his stuff on the table, sits on the bed and starts to eat. It's still a long way home, but at least he knows where he's going. Home. To Biyu. His wife.

\--------

_A/N: Sorry for such a short chapter. Next one won't be any longer._

 


	12. Everything

Minseok called Biyu a few hours ago. The snow leopard walks into the inn where Minseok is sitting at a table and scrolling the internet on his phone. He doesn't remember the last time he was this bored.

Biyu storms to her husband and takes him by the collar, shaking him. Minseok stares at her with fear in his eyes, the sleepless night evident in his face.

"Where the hell have you been? This doesn't seem like you're in the hem of nature, doing your literature", she hisses, but stops immediately when seeing the bruises on his face. Then she lets him go and her look softens. Minseok doesn't dare to look at her in the eyes anymore. "What happened?"

"Let's just go. I'll tell you... everything."

Biyu stares at him for a while before nodding her head. She takes his hand in hers and starts walking to the door. Minseok turns to the innkeeper who smiles at them. He waves his hand at her and she waves back. There's still that same drunk as last night. He probably didn't even rent a room, just sat there the whole night drinking.

The two sit down in the car. Biyu starts the engine and fastens her seat belt. Minseok fastens his seat belt too, now breathing heavily and nervously about this whole situation. There's no going back about this. He has to tell his wife. And his wife's parents must not know, her father being the head of the police department...

Once they're on the road, Minseok tries to start with a very shaky breath. Biyu notices this and just glances at him.

"Just take your time. I don't expect you to get roughed up like that and talk about it like everything's fine", she explains, making Minseok smile and nod slightly. Getting beaten up wasn't as bad as what happened after it, since Sehun kind of fucked up all his chances to go back to the wolf clan. "Just tell me who they were and I'll beat them up. Or have my dad put them in jail."

"It was a gang", Minseok confesses to Biyu whose concern just gets worse. Now Minseok gathers all his courage to say the next part. "In... the wolf clan."

Hearing that makes Biyu almost drive off the snowy road. Minseok grabs the door with his dear life. That was a close one.

"In what clan?!"

"The... wolf... clan..."

"Why the hell were you there?!" Biyu screams, she just cannot believe her ears. Minseok shakes his head and closes his eyes. He knew she would freak out.

"I just... had to... know who I am..."

Just then Biyu's expression changes totally. From angry, it changes to worried. It seems like she understands something, and Minseok hopes that he doesn't have to explain what.

"Your scent. It must be from somewhere. I get why you would go look there", she says with a lot calmer voice, but it's evident that her head is storming with a variety of emotions. "But you know that this is illegal, right? My dad could put you in prison."

"Yeah, about that... You can't tell him what I'm about to tell you. Like, ever", Minseok says with a shaky voice and takes a deep breath, making Biyu even more nervous as well.

He has to do this. He has to tell Biyu so that they can protect the clans together. They can make sure that no war will rise between the clans. If a war were to break out, it would surely only benefit the bear clan that would strike on both of them to get more land. The elk clan, well, they don't even want anything more. They're just really peaceful creatures.

If Biyu were to tell this to her father, he would be executed. So he just has to make sure that she will never tell anybody.

"I'm... Uh... Well..." It's harder to say. It makes Minseok so nervous he almost throws up. Of course it's never easy to tell someone you're a werewolf, and worse, a feline-hybrid werewolf who kills people. Biyu stays silent. It's like she knew something. "I'm dà huī láng."

Hearing those words leave Minseok's lips make Biyu break down in tears immediately. She's not even shocked. She definitely knew something. And now she just hits the steering wheel, Minseok turning to look at the view from the window next to him. He cannot look at his wife now. He swallows a lump from his throat, eyes glistening. He pulls back the tears.

"I knew there was something wrong with you. Leaving during the full moon, your scent, your identity crisis... everything. It all just screams that you're that beast that everyone's afraid of", she cries, tears dropping down on her lap. She sobs loudly and whines. Minseok cannot listen to her. It hurts him. But it had to be done. "But why, why do you hurt people?"

"I..." Minseok takes a moment to continue. "Cannot control myself. I don't remember anything that I do when it's full moon. You cannot tell your father anything about this."

"Of course I won't! As much as it terrifies me, you're still my number one priority. I have sworn to protect _you_ , not my parents."

"Even if that protection meant going down the path of crime", Minseok mumbles and Biyu just nods. "You can help me, Biyu."

"How in the hell could I do that?!"

"I found answers in the wolf clan. My driver won't take me there anymore, but he told me that there are people in the military that could tame my wolf form. But... it's not an option for me right now. Right now... well, we will have to make sure that I won't leave a locked place during the full moon."

"What were you thinking of?" Biyu asks, sobbing. She bites her lips and stares at the road with red eyes.

"...The basement?"

"And you think my parents won't notice anything then? You're insane." That did not even cross Minseok's mind. Of course her parents would know, of course they would hear him raging downstairs.

"Then what else could we do?!" he yells out of frustration, but Biyu has an idea.

"...We own an additional storage that's just outside the city. It's a 20-minute drive from home. I can make the arrangements and make you your own little... prison." How much can these snow leopards even own, Minseok wonders. They have nothing but space and stuff and space filled with stuff.

"You're a lifesaver, Biyu. Not mine but so many innocent life's."

She doesn't answer, just continues driving. She needs a while. So does Minseok. But hopefully by the end of the day, he has a place where to go during the next full moon.

Her mind is filled with questions, Minseok figures, just as his was. But the most worrisome of them all is just, why Minseok? There is no better answer than he just happened to be born in the wrong place in the wrong time.

"Did you meet someone?" Biyu voices out a question that Minseok did not expect to hear. Meet someone? He met and he lost them all. All three of them: Jongdae, Wolfgang, Sehun. All gone...

"Yeah. I made friends with one hyena and two foxes", he explains.

"What happened then?"

"Things escalated", he says while rubbing his eyes and adoring the beautiful snowy view outside. The countryside of the cat clan. Way better than the wolf clan's. "The Fennec fox lost his shit once the arctic fox figured out I was a lynx-wolf and the hyena who I thought was my friend let a gang beat me up. So you could say that we're not talking any longer. Since my driver won't take me there anymore, I don't know. I guess I won't go there again."

"...I think that it would be the best if you stayed home from now on", Biyu agrees with the last sentence that Minseok said. He cannot but feel sad, though. Everything that him and Jongdae, Sehun and Wolfgang could have done together.

One thing he knows for sure: Sehun is trouble. Especially if it makes Wolfgang that aggressive.

This just brings one question to his mind: is Sehun's father actually that dangerous, or does Wolfgang still have feelings for Sehun? Might be both.

"Don't leave our house again", Biyu says again, sternly. Minseok obediently nods his head. He won't have a reason to leave anymore, anyways.

***

Back at the mansion, Minseok immediately runs into his room, leaving Biyu behind him. He doesn't want to talk to her, not look at her, not be anywhere near her. The drive home in the end turned out to be just Biyu scolding Minseok and telling him to never leave the house again. Well the lynx didn't really have anything to complain about. The only thing they agreed on was that Minseok would visit his family. They, after all, meant most to him in this whole wide world.

His room is big and it's airy. It's filled with nothingness. Just like Minseok's head. He falls in bed to do the same thing he always does - nothing. Right now he would do anything to just escape again. Escape and let everything and everyone behind him, start all over. He can't stay still, yet that's the only thing people want him to do.

To interrupt his depressing thoughts, someone knocks on the door. It's Biyu's mother, now opening the door gently. Minseok doesn't even turn to look at her, he knows that it's her. She does this all the time, invading his privacy.

"I see you and Biyu came home. May I ask where were you?" she asks and invites herself in, much to Minseok's annoyance.

"No", he replies bluntly. This makes the old woman shocked and approach Minseok with a hurt look on her face.

"I just want to talk, Minseok. As your mother-in-law, I should know what you are up to", she insists as she sits next to Minseok on the bed. He just sighs and rubs his face.

"If I say it's none of your business, it is none of your business. Just because we're both omegas doesn't mean we share the same problems." Now that certainly made the old woman shocked. She takes a few steps back, holding her hands on her chest. Try to wrap her head around those words. Also being the CEO of a big company, she never hears something like this. Everyone always either look up to her or try to please her in order to succeed in their careers. She's an omega who started her own company from nothing - which is why people look up to her the way they do.

"I..." she mumbles as she's at the door. "I have called the doctor. You're seeing them next week. To make sure that pregnancy isn't harmful to you or that you are not infertile."

Minseok sighs deeply. It's a tradition that the alpha's omega-parent guides the child-alpha's partner through this whole process. She's just honoring the traditions.

Without saying another word, the old snow leopard leaves the room. She doesn't get an answer as much as she would like to.

Fuck those traditions, Minseok wonders. He's very much a tradition-breaker by being a grey wolf, anyway. And his wife! She's an _alpha_ who likes _alphas_! 

Just then he remembers the old wolf he met in the forest. Who is he exactly? Where is he now? Would he take Minseok back?


	13. Not Omega

"Hmm... I am sorry", the doctor says, making everyone in the room hold their breath. Meaning Minseok, Biyu and their mothers.

I'm sorry? For who, is what Minseok would like to know. If he's infertile then that's a win for him and Biyu. If he's not, then it's a win for the mothers. What's up with them and their baby fever anyways? They're not the ones raising them, after all. It would mostly be only Minseok.

"You are sorry about what?" the lynx mother panics. The doctor shakes their head. They turn the picture towards the four. There's an x-ray picture of Minseok's stomach.

"You do not even have a womb."

Biyu's mother has an immediate breakdown. She turns around and hides her face, crying in her palms. Biyu gently tries to comfort her, hugging her, but cannot hide the relieved smile on her face. Minseok keeps in his smile, too.

"Well that is certainly... weird", Minseok's mother comments, to which the doctor nods. She's not having a breakdown like the other mother, she's just wondering. She looks so thoughtful that it makes Minseok almost scared. It's like she wasn't even surprised.

"There is one explanation for this situation", the doctor explains, now putting the picture down and taking a hold of Minseok's left hand. The lynx just looks up at them with an oblivious look. "This mark is wrong."

Now Biyu's mother almost faints. Minseok's mother isn't all that surprised. Biyu and Minseok's eyes almost pop out of their sockets. Well it was about damn time someone noticed it!

"Is he... an alpha?" Minseok's mother wonders with quite a disappointed sound in her voice. The doctor looks at the papers again, their eyebrows knitting together.

"He could be, but we wouldn't be so sure. We have to run a couple of tests to figure out if he's an alpha or beta. Considering his scent, my guess is alpha. Otherwise he has a very bad luck with these things. Omega's sign, alpha's scent, actually beta... now that would be something... but it is very much possible."

"How has this not crossed anyone's mind sooner?!" the mother rages at the doctor who raises their hands and looks sincerely apologetic. She is stressed over her son's fate. Minseok himself is just a little mesmerized. For once in his life someone finally tells him that he's not an omega - well, aside from the wolf clan...

"I'm sure someone has told you, during when Minseok was still a baby. It is unusual to have a different mark and scent from what the reality is, but it happens. There are support groups for this matter", they explain calmly, even when the mothers are having a breakdown. 

"Then why does he smell like a goddamn canine?!" Biyu's mother finally snaps at the doctor who still stays calm. Biyu and Minseok glance at each other with a worried look. They know the answer, but that one is a secret.

"I can run tests, but I cannot have a certain answer for that. From what I've seen from Minseok's documents, it seems that he indeed does have some grey wolf-like components in his body. And one that strikes as the most interesting is that his physique seems to be that of a canine male's. Apart from the animal form and ears and tail, of course."

"Uhm, what does that mean in everyday life?" Minseok's mother asks, now walking closer to the doctor who unconsciously takes a few steps away from her.

"It means that he is able to reproduce with a female canine, or possibly, a female feline who's an omega. See, we have this status that just tells us if we're the ones with the womb or the one with the seeds, or if we have anything at all. Our sex is what we have in our pants, as in, what our parts look like. Canines are not like this. Their sex determines whether they have a womb or seeds - females are the ones who're pregnant and males are the ones who make them pregnant." All of them knew this already, it is taught in school. 

"How is that even possible? To be... partially canine?" the mother now says and the doctor immediately knows the answer that makes everyone in the room quiet.

"One of his parents must be partially canine themselves." Minseok's mother turns to look at the wall. She seems to be rather emotional. She has guilt written all over her face. "That's illegal, though... But don't worry, I won't tell anybody. Just make sure that you use my services."

"You're telling me that Minseok is illegal?" she almost whispers, holding in her tears. Those words make Minseok's heart jump in his throat.

"You know that it is illegal for us to leave our clan territory. Only our politicians can do that. And while they're visiting other clans, they may not even talk to the members of the other clan."

"But me... and my... children's father", Minseok's mother starts, swallowing her sobs. Of course it pains her to think about her dead husband. "We have never been politicians."

"There is one possibility. If Minseok's father was not a wolf, I believe that it is safe to assume that his grandfather is. His father's parents must be the age to have lived during the clan wars", the doctor explains, making everyone in the room ooh. Well, except Minseok. He should have found this doctor way sooner. He's basically telling Minseok everything that he wants to hear... right before his mother and his wife and her mother. Great. They're openly discussing about him.

Biyu's mother can't take it anymore. She and her daughter leave the room, Biyu still holding her mother. Biyu and her husband just share a worried look before the two go. 

"Now that they're out", they start, now walking towards Minseok's mother again. "I know that none of this is Minseok's fault. You have to tell me some... things. You're not partially wolf, are you?"

The mother immediately shakes her head and looks at the doctor with such a hurt look. Minseok just sits there quietly.

"I wanted to kill this one", she whispers to the doctor, but Minseok heard it. His heart aches. He just stares at the ground and takes a deep breath. The doctor looks at the lynx mother seriously, now way more worried than even once during their conversation.

"You have no idea how many parents share your thoughts", they reply. "But I am glad that you didn't do this."

"You're so in love with the thought of me being an omega", Minseok chimes in, looking at his mother with a hurt look on his face. His eyes are glistening and red. The doctor turns to look at him to show that they care. And for some reason, this beta's pity makes Minseok feel a lot better. "Go pamper Chanyeol."

"You do know that Irene told me that you stole your father's diaries?" the mother speaks up, not daring to look at her son. "We should have ended your life when we still had the chance. You've been roaming these streets during the full moon, haven't you? You've made all of us fear the wolves, haven't you? Now look at what you've done. You've almost made a war between our clans. Don't you have any shame? Any self-control?"

Those words make Minseok freeze. He stares at his mother with a dazed and betrayed look before bursting into tears. He looks down at his lap and listens to his mother scold him some more.

The doctor then puts their hand on her mouth and shushes her.

"I can help. I will help. Please wait outside. I would like to talk to Minseok alone", they say, but she slaps their hand away and storm to the door.

"Do whatever the hell you want with him. He is not my son." And with those words, she slams the door close and rushes out the building. 

Minseok's worst nightmare came to life. His mother knows that he's dà huī láng.

And just like he was afraid of, she disowned him, just like that. No longer her son... then whose is he? Then _who_ is he? Why is he, and where is he going? Biyu's parents probably don't want him anymore now that they know he's partially wolf and not actually an omega. Whatever Biyu says to them in order to keep Minseok with them, isn't going to keep him in that mansion.

He cannot stop crying. This must honestly be the worst thing that has ever happened to him, by far. And this... this is the worst day of all.

But the kind doctor Ming walks to him and sits on the chair next to him. They take a better position, cross their legs and pat Minseok's back like everything was fine.

Everything is horrible.

"You are unbelievable and unbelievably strong. Did you know that your grandmother was supposed to kill your father because of what he was? I know some doctors wouldn't force abortion or killing the child, but I didn't know that anyone actually survived to see this day. There was a lot of people, in all the major clans, who hunted people like you. People who weren't... pure, so to speak", they bless Minseok with a history lesson.

The lynx-wolf just nods and sniffles a few times, "Yeah, I'm trying to wrap my head around this, too... You seem to know a lot about wolves, though. Other doctors I've visited have just said that I'm... different. That I'm... just... abnormal."

"Oh, I do know a lot about wolves. You are not abnormal, Minseok. You are just the way you were meant to be", they smile to which Minseok answers with a faint smile immediately. That is all he has ever wanted to hear. "You must feel lonely, being the only wolf-lynx around here."

"I have three siblings."

"That I would also like to meet and research. You... wouldn't mind that, would you?"

"I... guess I can tell them to stop by", he offers. Ming pats his back again and smiles very kindly. This doctor's kindness goes far in this situation. "My wife's family won't probably have me anymore. Neither does my mom..."

"Things will turn out in the best of ways", they say and now stand up, walking to the desk. "I would offer you a place to stay if it wasn't against my work moral. My house would be full if I did that, I guess you can understand that."

"Yeah... I understand..." Minseok sighs and cries even more, wiping his tears on his sleeves.

"I can tell you only one thing. I don't think that it is going to stay a secret what happened here during this meeting. Within a month, I'd say, rumors will spread and you will be accused to be our infamous big bad wolf. According to what your mother said, I'm not even wrong, am I?"

Minseok stays quiet and the doctor gets their answer. The two of them just sit there for a while in silence, the doctor taking a deep breath and Minseok sobbing in his hands.

"I know a lot about wolves, because I have helped wolf patients. Do you know Wolfgang Fennec fox?" Hearing that name makes Minseok even mad! The only person that keeps him from himself, the only person that keeps him from the-

...The person that he would badly want to see immediately. Sehun's stubbornness is kind of admirable. And now that no one's here to tell him that Sehun's trouble, he can think about the fox all he wants! He can dream about having him right here, next to him, imagine him being here to take care of his wounds like he did when he was in the wolf clan the last time.

Imagine him being here to _love_ him like a canine would, and he would _love_ Sehun back like a canine does. 

"I know him", he finally speaks up and they hum in understanding. "He said he would have killed me if he didn't like me."

"You were caught", they say, making Minseok flinch in his seat uncomfortably.

"By _the_ arctic fox's son", he adds. The doctor gasps.

"Well that is certainly bad. You need to run away from here, though, do you have any idea where you could go?"

Minseok thinks for a moment. 

"I have an idea."

***

Back in the mansion, Biyu's mother throws everything that Minseok owns out of his room. She cries and rages and everything that he owns is soon on the floor outside the door. The only thing that she didn't throw like a piece of trash is his laptop. But Minseok figures that he won't even be needing that thing anymore.

Biyu walks to her husband and stares at the clothes that fly in the air and land on their feet. She sighs deeply.

"What are you going to do now?" she asks quietly.

"I'm going to run away. And no one can tell me what to do and how to be. I'll be somewhere where no one knows who I am", he explains as he takes one step closer to her. "Can you do me one more favor?"

"I believe it's the least I can do, considering how things escalated..." she replies with a sigh, now taking him in a hug. He smiles gently and hugs her back.

"I want you to take me to the edge of the clan."

_______________________

_A/N; It wasn't intended to make Dr Ming "they." I just really had no vision of which one they would be! So they're a little something in between._


	14. Runaway

It's the same club as always. This is where he always hung out, the place where he told him that he loves him. The place where the magic happened. The place that smells like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes... horror.

That magic died out quickly once his father came into the picture. And so did those drugs.

Well he's not quite fond of those memories, he's almost glad his father did find out.

The canines rub on each other and sigh, kiss each other, want each other in the dim light where the music blasts. Of course, he wants something else than just some love for the night. He wants freedom for life.

Wolfgang's head immediately turns when he sees the fox approaching. He leaves the hyena girl he was trying to seduce to walk towards the other fox, both their faces replaced with agony rather than... whatever is happening here.

"Wolfgang", he says the other's name, looking rather intimidating. The Fennec fox looks at him from head to toes with a flirty look, but the other raises his hand in order to smack him across his face.

"Sehun", he greets finally, now stopping the flirty act. "To what do I own this honor?"

"Kiss my ass", Sehun replies, making Wolfgang huff.

"Well that's quite the request that I would certainly love to fulfill-"

"I need you to take me to the cat clan", he blurts out. Wolfgang immediately looks around him and walks Sehun further away from the crowd. Then he turns back to the arctic fox and looks at him seriously. All the playful flirting that he was doing before, it's all gone.

"You mustn't speak about that so loud. You do know that that's kind of", he leans closer to Sehun to whisper. "Illegal."

"I know", Sehun assures, taking Wolfgang's head between his hands. "But I need to..."

Then he closes his eyes, sighing. Wolfgang immediately knows what's up and he shakes his head rapidly, making Sehun confused.

"No, no, no, you are not going to see him. Sehun, that guy is trouble. Do you know what happens to you if anyone finds out that you're in the cat clan? Do you know what happens to _me_?" he asks, shaking Sehun by his shoulders.

"I know, I know, we would end up in prison, maybe for the rest of our lives, maybe even executed. Well, you would, we both know that I'm in prison already", the younger one says, and he is very much right. He lives inside his white room, behind a locked door and a window. Only some guards who pity on him let him out or he runs with one of the servants who come to clean his room or bring him food. Sometimes he can be in the living room or the dining room with his father, but if he tries to run away when his father is there to see it... that won't be good.

"I would be pretty much fucked", Wolfgang explains. "I'm not taking you there. There are no good reasons for why I should."

"Well, let me give you one damn good reason", Sehun starts as he takes a step closer to Wolfgang, threatening him. The older one squints his eyes and glares.

"Are you threatening me?" he asks as he takes a hold of Sehun's hand. Sehun's face immediately turns from intimidating to scared. Okay, Wolfgang is probably like ten years older than him and way more experienced, he knows everything that's up. Except...

"You are so handsome, you know that, Wolfgang?" he tries seducing, now leaning closer to the older one who immediately pushes him away. It's not that he's disgusted, he's just really not into this at this time, knowing the other's intentions.

"Sehun. I'm not doing this", the Fennec fox huffs but the arctic fox turns his nose.

"Then I guess that you won't mind if I tell my father about your little business", Sehun devilishly traces his fingers on Wolfgang's collarbones. "And lie that you laid your fingers on me again. There are witnesses here who saw you grab my hand."

"Wait", Wolfgang snaps his hand and sighs deeply. "I can't believe I'm actually considering this... but if I bring you to that lynx's porch, will you be able to keep this secret from your father? Cause honestly I think the fuck not."

Sehun rolls his eyes and slaps Wolfgang's chest. He leans closer to him and buries his head in the older one's neck, breathing in his scent. Wolfgang closes his eyes for a moment.

"I will keep it to myself, Wolfie. I will be a good boy and keep you safe... like you've kept me", the younger one chirps. Wolfgang takes a deep breath and pats Sehun's back.

"Then I guess we shouldn't waste any more time. Xiumin lives in a mansion, so you don't really have to care about security. Just take all you can in your bag and leave the rest to him. Meet you before the motel at 11am tomorrow."

***

That day Sehun goes home with a smile on his face. It's been two months since the last time he saw his heart's chosen one the last time. He's felt the pull before, but not quite like he's felt it for Xiumin... Xiumin just had something so honest about him. Something different from the others. Something that made him feel safer... And the fact that he wasn't chasing Sehun makes it all the more interesting. Usually men who swing that way, and even men who don't - like Wolfgang -, present themselves to him. Sehun is never the one who's trying to win someone's love.

But Xiumin is different. He's different cause he's a lynx-wolf. And he's awesome because he's a lynx-wolf. Sehun doesn't even mind. It gives him more character, and it makes him the forbidden fruit that Sehun would love to taste.

As he walks to his home, the father is waiting on the porch. He looks angry, his eyebrows knitted together. Again this scenario that Sehun has lived over and over again.

"You kill me from the inside, slowly", the father grunts. Sehun walks up to him and tries to fake that he's apologetic. "I was waiting for one of the guards to bring you here, though."

"I'm sorry, dad."

"Everyone knows you're lying", he replies and stands up, now taking a hold of Sehun's arm and forcefully pulling him inside the house. "What wolf was it this night?"

"Not some wolf, he was a fox", Sehun says and the father huffs, now walking up the stairs to Sehun's room, Sehun tailing behind him. The father pulls so harshly he has to follow.

"I don't know which one I like less. Fox or wolf male alpha", the father says bluntly.

"You still want me to marry some fucking female omega or beta fox", Sehun sighs as his father throws him in his room and follows in himself.

"Honestly, I don't think you should marry at all", he says, making Sehun confused. He sits on his bed and looks up at his father. The latter crosses his arms on his chest and looks down at him, now leaning against the wall in front of his son. "You know, that... some things, we just cannot change. Like you cannot change this... attraction, to male alphas."

Sehun listens intently. Is his father trying to understand him? Is this for real? The father no longer looks at him in the eye. It's too much for him to even talk about this.

"And in this time, in this clan... Male marrying another male is just not possible", he explains, taking a deep breath. Sehun's eyes soften as he stares at his father. "But when you... have found that alpha, whoever he is... please don't commit before I've seen him."

The father sits down next to his son and now looks at him to see Sehun's genuinely apologetic eyes. Junghoon smiles gently for a fleeting moment that makes Sehun all the more emotional. His father is actually trying to understand him rather than trying to force other things on him.

"I think that we should start talking about topics that we have been avoiding and be more honest with each other", Junghoon tries but this just makes Sehun angry again. He looks at his father with a defeated look.

"Then be honest with me", Sehun begs, looking at his father's both eyes alternatively. "Why do you keep me locked up in here?"

With those words tears just rush down his cheeks and he looks away. As a single sob leaves his lips, he raises his hand to wipe his tears. Junghoon stays silent before gently wrapping his arms around his son. Sehun doesn't want to hug him back. He feels slightly disgusted by his touch.

"I hate this room."

"I know, son", he replies, now caressing Sehun's hair. The son cannot stop his tears from falling down but he also feels really safe, warm and comfortable in his father's arms. It's the safest place for him in the whole world, the place that he thinks of whenever he hears the word home. "But if you were not here, something terrible would happen to you."

"What terrible?" Sehun asks, turning his head at Junghoon. "Why do you keep it a secret from me?"

"I... have my reasons."

"You just said no more secrets. Can't you tell me why I can't leave?"

"I just told you. Something terrible would happen. Some people want to hurt you." Sehun now removes his father's arms off himself. Junghoon is sad that his son is like this, but he understands why. No more secrets yet still he's hiding something.

"What people? Who wants to hurt me, daddy?" He knows that that word just kills his father from the inside. He used to always call his father daddy before, well, he was too old. But he wasn't too old until he was 18.

The word bothered Wolfgang.

"I've been a prisoner in this fucking room my entire life!" Sehun cries, hitting his fist against the mattress. Junghoon sighs deeply, trying to hold his hand in place. "Are you going to keep me locked up in here for the rest of it?!"

"If I have to, then yes!" the father finally replies, making Sehun completely silent. For a while there is nothing but awkward silence.

Sehun doesn't want to say anything. His stupid dad just wants to keep him here for the rest of his life because he's paranoid about the world... because he has trust issues in people because his wife was murdered by some wolves...

Junghoon regrets every time he yells at his son or hurts him in any way. That moment he slapped him won't leave his mind. It kills him slowly from the inside. He leans his arms on his knees and massages his temples, listening to his son's crying.

"I'm not a perfect father, there's no going around that. But I do love you, you know that?"

"You've told me that like a million times."

"Then do you believe me when I say that?"

"Of course I do, daddy. But that's quite not the point", Sehun tries. He doesn't understand why his father would bring that up.

"Just trust me when I say that I do this to protect you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

Hearing those words make Sehun a bit cautious, too. Who would want to hurt him, and for what reason? Well of course someone would hurt him because of his sexuality and because he's Junghoon's son, and because, well, the gangs and now his love for Xiumin. Just add it to the list.

He leans on his father's shoulder comfortably.

"I'm scared, daddy."

"I will protect you", Junghoon says, now gently sniffing his son's hair and caressing them, running his hand through them. "I have a day off the day after tomorrow. Would you want to do something together then?"

Honestly? Sehun would love to. But he hasn't seen Xiumin in two months. As much as he misses spending time with his father, he misses Xiumin more. Besides, this might be once in a lifetime experience. He has his father for life.

"I would love to." Now how could he say no? He wants nothing more than to be with his father, but the truth is that his father keeps him as a prisoner inside his room. "We should go to the cinema."

"Ah, yes", Junghoon hums and smiles. "We should, then. What would you want to see there?"

"I... want to see the movie about the jackal who had a feline mother", Sehun tells his father who's immediately worried by the answer. Of course Sehun wants to see this, dreaming about his lynx-wolf that Junghoon does not know about.

"You have seen that movie about ten times. Shouldn't we watch something a little different this time? I don't even know if it's still on." Who would've thought that his heart's chosen one was just like in the movie that he's loved since he was a little fox?

"Then let's watch it from our TV." Junghoon would get his hopes up but at least he wouldn't be buying the tickets for nothing. If Sehun declines, Junghoon would think that something is wrong. Because Sehun never says no to his father when he wants them to hang out.

The father sighs deeply yet again. These days he's just sighing.

"Don't you want to see anything else?"

"No, daddy", Sehun says before laying his head down on his father's lap and letting the elder pat his head and play with his ears.

"Okay then. We'll watch the leopard-jackal movie yet again."

***

The morning dawns. Sehun jumps up from his bed. He quickly turns to see the clock. It's 9am, he still has a little time to pack before he needs to make his way to the motel.

He woke up the first time when his father left the room around 6am. They had fallen asleep together. First Sehun. Then his father just stared at him and thought about their lives for good 30 minutes before raising the other in his arms to lay him on the bed, head on the pillow. Then he took his boots off and covered him with the blanket.

He laid on the other side of the bed and showed his back to his son, but in no time Sehun had started hugging the blanket and was scooting over to his father to lay his head against Junghoon's back. Junghoon felt so soft at that moment he almost shed tears.

He had failed at being a father. But he did a damn good job hiding it for 13 years. He doesn't deserve Sehun's love. At least that's how he thinks.

So he has a tendency to just leave. To just go. Leave his responsibility to be someone else's responsibility. His guards, his maids. Someone, anyone, except him.

Not because he doesn't love him. But because he lost the person that he loved the most due to that child's birth. And it was his own mistake. A regret, even.

Though, now, he wouldn't change a thing. Sehun is his everything and he would do everything to protect him.

Sehun doesn't always appreciate his protection. He thinks he's a big boy now, thinks he's old enough to be on his own in this clan. But it's not the case. Being the clan's most influential fox's son has its' downside.

Sehun doesn't know what he needs in the cat clan. So he just takes all the clothes that he can get and put them in his bag. Last he leaves a note on his bed, saying, _"I will come back in a week. If not, please come look for me. -Sehun"_

Then, after calling the maid and getting some food from her, she lets him go. To walk away and leave, not knowing that this night he would not come back.

***

"You're early", Wolfgang states after Sehun knocks on the window of his door. The arctic fox invites himself in before Wolfgang can do anything to give him a proper welcome.

"Better sooner rather than later."

"Well in this case yes", Wolfgang replies, now turning on the engine. "You know that this will take a little over three hours? Probably longer since the melting snow fucks up all the roads."

Ah, spring. Definitely fucked up all the roads. Wolfgang drives to the road.

"I know about these things, Wolfgang, I read about them in your texts."

"Well then. You know what to expect. Do you know anything about the cat clan?"

Sehun shakes his head, "Only that Xiumin is there."

"Oh, love", Wolfgang sighs deeply as he drives through the city. "Let me tell you all about the cat clan..."

***

The things that Wolfgang told him during the drive were truly enlightening, and Sehun feels that he knows more about Xiumin's life and his struggles. To think that in this clan being male or female didn't have any meaning. It was truly bizarre. But the fact that betas were the lowest rank made him feel even more confused. How could that even be possible?

And to think that he would be treated as the _lowest_ in the cat clan...

Then he realized that there is a lot to learn.

The two drive before the big mansion. Sehun stares at it, his jaw dropped.

"Is this his house?!"

"His wife's, yes."

"His wife owns a mansion?!"

"Her parents, yes."

And to think he thought Xiumin lived on the countryside... Where he was dying in poverty... When in reality he was here living in a mansion in a freaking welfare utopia.

"Just knock on the door. You're on your own now", Wolfgang encourages. Sehun whimpers a little when he turns to look at the other. "What? You chickening out now?"

"I-I'm a little scared..."

"Hey", Wolfgang starts as he wraps his arm around Sehun's shoulders. The arctic fox stares at him with big eyes. "Where is that adventurous Sehun that I took to bed a year ago?"

Sehun slaps his shoulder lightly as he grins happily, "He stayed home with daddy."

Wolfgang shudders when hearing that word. Sehun just giggles.

"You still don't like it when I call him daddy, do you?"

"Just... get out of here", Wolfgang says with a face that looks like he sucked something a little too sweet. Sehun sighs and gets out of the car, taking his luggage from the backseat. And then Wolfgang drives off.

Sehun can't stop wondering if something goes wrong. What if this isn't his house, or what if he's not home? What if the felines are actually horrible creatures?

He shakes his head. That's just xenophobic. He walks to the door slowly.

But before he can even reach it, the door opens and he practically jumps two feet away from the spot. The woman at the door looks at him, blinks a few times before smiling a little.

"Hello", she says with a very warm voice. She's pretty, Sehun figures. Is this his wife? She keeps looking at Sehun's luggage. "Can I help you?"

"Uhm... I was looking for Xiumin..." he says with an awkward voice. The snow leopard at the door walks down the stairs to stand before Sehun. They're almost the same height. Almost. "I believe he's your husband?"

"Oh wow", the woman chuckles. "I do not know anyone named Xiumin. Maybe you can tell me more about how he looks like so I have a better understanding of where to get someone who can help you."

Sehun feels anxiety. This woman doesn't know Xiumin? But... didn't Wolfgang bring him to his mansion?

"Uh... he's... about this tall, has brown hair, brown eyes... Oh, and he smells like an alpha wolf, though he's an omega lynx."

The woman looks at him with a surprised look. A little sad, even. Sehun wonders if he said something wrong. She walks closer to him and looks at both his eyes alternatively. He looks at her very submissively to show that she's the boss, she's the alpha. She sniffs him a few times and Sehun doesn't even do anything to stop her, just shivers.

"This Xiumin person's real name is Minseok. He... was... my husband", she says, making Sehun now look up at her. "You, canine, shouldn't be here looking for him."

"I-I'm so-sorry, but I j-just-"

"My father is the head of the PD and you're here stepping around like that perfume is going to keep you from being noticed?" she talks with a very quiet voice so that no one would hear them.

Sehun can't help it, he just starts to cry. He's had his fair share of alphas threatening him but this is quite different from those times. This time, he's really scared because this place is completely foreign to him and his father cannot save him.

Wait.

Maybe he can.

"Oh for fuck's sake, why are you crying?" she grunts when Sehun wipes his tears.

"If anything bad happens to me here, just know that you might be starting a war between our clans. My father is the most influential fox in the wolf clan and if something were to happen to me, he wouldn't let it go unnoticed", he gets back at the lady who sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Relax, I am not going to hurt you. If you want to go to Minseok, so be it. I'll take you to him", she says. Sehun looks up at her and now wipes his tears, smiling gently. He was panicking for no reason. "But you have to tell me why you want to see him."

How could he even tell the truth?

"...I... like him", he says with big eyes, trying his best to look innocent. The lady looks at him with a very confused look.

"You came here all this way, just because you like him?" Sehun nods his head.

"It's not just because... because I like him a lot", he says, but she lets out a sarcastic laughter.

"You like my ex-husband a lot even though you knew for, what, a week?" And her words cut right through Sehun's heart again. He looks at the ground with a defeated look.

"I know we've known each other only for a short while... But the pull... He feels it, I feel it, we like each other."

"Pull?" she asks and Sehun shakes his head, he's not going to explain that. "Whatever. I'll take you to him. Quickly. I have places to be."

And so they walk to her car and drive away.

***

At the edge of the clan, they finally get out of car. There's just nothing but trees around them. Sehun feels fearful again.

"You're going to abandon me to the woods?" he asks, now almost tearing up again. She shakes her head, showing her hand to north-west.

"That is the direction you should walk in, I don't know how long, but it's a long journey, okay. There is a cabin in the woods where an old wolf lives. Minseok is staying with him." She walks to the back of the car to get something out of the trunk. It's a flashlight and a radiophone. She hands them to Sehun who looks at her with confused look. "You will need these. Don't die out there. If something goes wrong, turn this thing on from here. It will give us signals about where you are and come look for you."

Sehun is really amazed by how much she is helping him. And that wasn't all, she also gives him her packed lunch that she was saving for work. She smiles when handing it to him.

"I'll just go buy something for myself later."

"Thank you", Sehun thanks her. Then he puts his back a little better and takes a deep breath, staring at the woods before him.

Okay.

This is it.

 


	15. Cold

"I smell something", Minseok says as he and the old wolf are eating soup in the small cabin. They just put fire in the fireplace and cooked the dinner. They look at each other when he says that, sniffing the air. Old Wolf chuckles at him.

"We are eating soup, my son", he points out but Minseok raises his finger to sniff again. Then he stands up.

"I smell... something... familiar..." he says and walks to the door. Old Wolf sighs. He doesn't even bother. Crazy youngsters, he just thinks.

But Minseok knows what he smells. Okay he's not quite sure what he smells just yet, but he smells something. It's already dark outside and water's pouring from the sky, making the place even more horrible place to walk in.

Until finally he sees some light in the darkness. That light, however, drops on the ground.

He immediately runs over to the light. Just then he realizes what the scent is and who it belongs to. It's Sehun himself, looking for him.

Sehun collapses on the ground, shaking from the cold, his whole body aching. Minseok runs to him and raises him on his shoulder to carry him into the cabin.

Why is Sehun here? Did he really come here for Minseok? The thought of him coming there just for him makes him rather emotional. But right now, Sehun is totally limb, just shivering.

Old Wolf opens the door for them and looks at Minseok with surprise.

"He's shivering! What do I do?" he asks from the old wolf as he lays the fox onto the bed. The elder looks at him before walking to the water basin he has in the cabin. "He's still got some luggage out there. I couldn't carry it all with him."

"Go get it. I will undress and wash him. After that, you have to get off your clothes and lay next to him in order to warm him up." Minseok looks at him weirdly.

"Is that what you did to me back then? Got naked and laid next to me?"

"Not entirely naked, but I did what I had to in order to keep you alive", Old Wolf says as he proceeds to take off Sehun's beanie and his jacket off. The poor fox is shivering, unable to really understand what is going on around him.

Minseok doesn't have anything to say back to that. Okay, he laid in bed almost naked with his grandfather. That is quite something.

The luggage is waiting outside in the darkness. The flashlight he left there to see where the luggage was left so he can easily run to it and take everything that's on the ground. Hopefully the clothing inside is still dry so they don't have to borrow him clothes.

Just thinking of Sehun actually being here feels unbelievable. It's been almost two months and he missed Sehun a lot. It would be a lie if he said he didn't think about Sehun every single day.

He runs back to the cabin with the luggage. Old Wolf has already got Sehun almost naked, the latter laying on the blankets bare and shaking. Minseok doesn't wait for one more minute. He frees himself from his clothing apart from his underwear and jumps in bed right next to the fox. Old Wolf covers them with the blanket.

"Hmm. Your soup", the elder says and Minseok just scoffs.

"That's what you're thinking about now?"

"Well I'm sure it'll be eatable tomorrow, too. I'll put it in the fridge." Which, by the way, doesn't have any electricity. It just is there because he found it. So, no, it isn't cold.

Minseok stares at Sehun's face, him breathing calmly in and out. Gently he starts to caress the fox's cheek and be mesmerized about how cold it actually is. It's a good thing that they found him. Who knows if he could have had hypothermia.

Old Wolf stumbles in the kitchen and makes himself some space on the couch. He looks at Minseok who stares at Sehun and fondly caresses his face. The moment seems so sweet he wouldn't want to ruin it but he has to ask.

"Are you two lovers?"

Right to the business. Minseok's face heats up after hearing that word. _Lover._ To think that him, dà hui láng, had a lover. It sounds impossible. In the cat clan it is taught that no monster could ever be loved. And it is also taught that wolves are vile and savage creatures, monstrosities that know no mercy, no love.

"Not exactly", is his honest response. Old Wolf just hums and covers himself with a blanket, getting ready to go to bed. "We've met a few times, and we feel the pull towards each other. I've never felt it before. I don't know about him... But he's certainly interested in me if he walked through the woods just to get to us."

Old Wolf lets out a chuckle. "Oh, love. Never thought that my grandson would be one of those, but I guess I can't be surprised. You've really been given the short stick in life."

Minseok doesn't understand what he means by one of those, but lets it go. He doesn't have to know. Just trace his fingers on Sehun's shivering face, now shushing him gently.

In a blink of an eye, Sehun shuffles closer to Minseok, burying his face in his chest. The wolf's heart almost skips a beat. Almost. It feels like it's bursting out of his chest, fireworks. The feeling of being wanted, the feeling of being needed fills him and he can't stop smiling. It makes him emotional, almost wanting to cry.

And this is, for the first time in his life, someone wants and needs him as his true self, not as a fake copy of a lynx, wolf or omega. Just him and all he is.

He wraps his arms around Sehun and leans forward to smell his hair. It smells like... fox. And some feline perfume. It also smells like vanilla shampoo. Such a gentle smell.

What smell isn't gentle, though, is the scent of a wet dog.

***

In the morning Minseok wakes up before Sehun. Of course. The sun is rising, his grandfather already went outside to chop some wood. Maybe he didn't want to disturb the two who are so entangled in each other's arms.

The wolf yawns long and the fox in his arms shuffles, showing signs of waking up, too. Minseok smiles gently to himself, caressing Sehun's hair.

Maybe he shouldn't, though. Sehun is trouble, after all.

Or... is he?

The inevitable truth is that if his father finds out, their thing is over. Unless Sehun can some way convince his father that they're legit and meant for each other.

Minseok didn't really buy that whole love at first sight thing, but Sehun's scent was definitely love at first sniff. Now being so close to him is just unbelievable and... it makes him no longer able to resist.

If this stays a one-time thing, so be it. If their relationship, or whatever the hell it is and will become, ends, then so be it. He at least wants to give a chance for love for once in his life, at least for a moment.

At least this once, maybe someone could genuinely love the true him.

Sehun yawns and cuddles closer to Minseok's chest. Realizing where he is makes him look up at the wolf very slowly. He looks at both his eyes alternatively with very tired eyes, then squinting them to see clearer. His eyes are a little red. Minseok chuckles and takes the hair off the other's eyes. He looks adorable.

"Xiumin...?"

He missed hearing that name, honestly. Old Wolf just calls him grandson or son. Xiumin reminds him of the new him. Minseok is like... the dead, old him. The dead omega lynx. It is a fact that he's an alpha lynx-wolf, and now his name is Xiumin.

"Hi", he replies awkwardly. Sehun looks under the blanket and immediately blushes. Why's he blushing? It's not like he hasn't done this before.

"Y-you saved me from the woods... I-I didn't expect that I would have to pay for it this way..."

"What? No!" Xiumin freaks out, really red himself now too. He looks the other way. "Grandfather told me to take my clothes off while he took yours. My body's heat warms your body. It saved you from possible hypothermia."

"Oh... That explains..."

Sehun still blushes more and tries to lower the blanket to get back inside his own clothes, but immediately raises the blanket back up. It's freezing, even though the fire is on in the fireplace.

Now this situation right here is so awkward that you could almost cut the tension with a knife. The two try to avoid eye contact and generally contact altogether. But they cannot stop the cheeky smiles rising on their faces, knowing that they found what they were looking for.

"So..." Sehun starts, now laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He pulls the blanket up to cover himself fully. It feels warm and cozy. "You live here, in the woods, with your grandfather?"

"Yeah", Xiumin replies as he lays on his back and looks at the ceiling as well. He's more accustomed to the cold than Sehun by now. "My grandfather is an old wolf. A veteran from the clan wars."

"He must have all kinds of interesting stories to tell you", Sehun exclaims, now turning his head slowly and shyly to see Xiumin. "He was in the war, after all."

"He killed many of... well, _my_ kind. But honestly, I don't really know what or where is my kind."

"You're one of a kind", Sehun says with a cheeky smile, embarrassed of his own words. He then looks up again when seeing Xiumin turn his head.

"Not really", the lynx-wolf says and takes his time to admire the features of the other's face. "According to my doctor, there's a lot of people like me. Hybrid... hybrids."

They are silent for a good while, Sehun just awkwardly staring at the ceiling while feeling Xiumin's burning gaze upon his skin. Xiumin doesn't even notice himself being so... hungry to devour all of the other with his eyes. Though, he can only see his face for now.

"How did you know I'm here?" Xiumin finally asks. Sehun turns on his side and slowly looks up at Xiumin. Xiumin can feel his own breath getting quicker.

"I threatened Wolfgang to bring me to the cat clan. Then, I met your ex-wife. She brought me to the edge of the clan and told me to walk in this direction until I come across a cabin. For a while there I thought that she was just playing with me, sending me to my death", Sehun says with a painful voice, now his eyes getting redder as he thinks about that. He looks away from Xiumin, the rest of his words swallowed.

Xiumin looks at him apologetically and gently caresses his face. Sehun closes his eyes when he feels the warm hand on his cheek. He leans a little to it.

"What about your father? He will surely be worried about you and look for you everywhere", Xiumin worries. Sehun shakes his head.

"I left a note for him, saying that he should not look for me unless I haven't come home in a week."

Just as Xiumin is about to reply, the door is opened. Old Wolf walks inside with some firewood in his hands. He takes the boys' clothes and throws them on them, cursing at the other two's laziness.

"Do I have to do everything around here? You did not come here just to make him grow all lazy, did you? Now go on and warm up the sauna! Today is bath day", he explains quite aggressively as he pours the clothes on them. Sehun gladly takes all of his clothing, though he is quite weirded out. Xiumin is used to this. His grandfather is not a morning person.

Xiumin stands up from under the covers and jumps in his clothes. The cold doesn't bother him quite as much as it does Sehun, who slips into his clothes under the warm blanket. He's shivering when he's not hiding under there anymore.

The lynx-wolf lends Sehun his hand and helps him up from the bed. The fox follows him outside but immediately wants to head back in. Xiumin notices that the other one starts shaking like a caught fish.

"Come on, it's not that cold. You can take my jacket", he offers when taking off his jacket and putting it on Sehun's shoulders. The fox, however, refuses this nice gesture.

"Jeez, Xiumin, I get cold just from looking at you! You can't be here with such little clothing!" Xiumin does only have a hoodie on him. He doesn't seem to mind the cold, though.

"You _full_ canines should not feel that cold. Aren't cats the ones more prone to feeling coldness?"

Sehun huffs and just shakes his head, following the other into some small path. The forest is sparse. Some trees are starting to revive from the dead at this time of the year. Everything... comes back to life.

So does Xiumin.

In fact, his depression is almost completely healed. He doesn't have any suicidal thoughts anymore. He doesn't think life is worthless. He doesn't think there is nothing to live for. Life is... beautiful and full of opportunities. Full of so many choices.

Living the way he does, on the line of three different species - gray wolves, lynxes, and humans - gives him some purpose. To make his life better gives him some meaning.

And the thought of Sehun... it gives him joy. Sehun actually being here just overwhelms him with such delight. Sehun likes him as the real him, not as a fake image of a feline and not as a fake image of a gray wolf. He knows the truth... and it doesn't disgust him.

He turns around to look at the fox who keeps looking all around himself. The place is new to him, of course. Xiumin smiles to him widely as he points his hand to the path.

"There's the sauna, about a kilometer down this path. That's where the lake is, too."

"The lake? You mean the Frost Lake?" Sehun asks, to which Xiumin nods rapidly.

"Of course you know about Frost Lake. It's the lake that combines all the clans", he says and starts walking down the path. "The sauna needs to be warmed with some wood. There is some firewood already."

"I've never been to a sauna", Sehun confesses. Xiumin waves his hand once, trying not to trip in the downhill. The ice and water is making it hard to walk.

"I hadn't before moving in with grandfather either."

"How do you even know that he's your grandfather?" Sehun wonders, now making Xiumin glance behind himself.

"I read some of my father's documents and birth certificates. My father and Old Wolf look so similar, from what I remember of my father and the pictures I've seen of him. It wasn't too hard to put the pieces together", he explains, making Sehun hum in understanding.

"But... a good question is, why are you living here?"

That makes Xiumin stop on his tracks. Sehun almost bumps into him as he takes a moment to just stare at the ground and breathe.

Right. Sehun doesn't know, does he? He might as well tell him. Sehun does have a history of being with rebels, anyway...

"Sehun, I'm..."

Xiumin turns around dramatically and looks at the other in the eyes. The fox is confused, Xiumin shakes his head a few times.

"I left because I had no place to be. I live here because there was no other place where I could go."

"You could have come to me", Sehun tries, but Xiumin just utters a laughter, looks at the ground and shakes his head.

"There's a bounty on my head. I am an outlaw. I am the enemy in the cat clan. Some felines think I'm a wolf spy, which is why I may be the one sprouting war between our clans. They think I was a wolf comfortably living with them and murdering them at night."

Sehun looks at him with wide eyes and just bats his eyelashes a couple of times. Then a wide smile spreads on his lips.

"Da hui lang. Like Wolfgang told me. Everybody there wants you dead", he says, now with a bit more serious tone, but still smiling. It makes Xiumin kind of worried, but he can't say he's all too surprised. "But don't you worry. I will protect you!"

He says those words with such determination it makes Xiumin smile faintly and shyly. He turns around and starts walking again, with Sehun tailing behind him.

And Sehun doesn't even mind that he's unconsciously a murderer. Unlike Wolfgang... but Xiumin must know that already.

"It doesn't bother you I've killed people?" he asks and Sehun hums.

"No, since you didn't do it on purpose. And even if you did it on purpose, I would forgive if you killed bad men." Xiumin's eyebrows knit together. He has a very serious tone when looking at the ground.

"But I killed children and families. Innocent people."

"But it wasn't really you, Xiumin. Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault for being born."

Xiumin cannot stop the smile that starts spreading on his face. He'll never not feel guilty over the deaths of those innocent people, but the fact that someone believes that he wasn't himself at those moments makes him feel better. Just slightly.


	16. Shy

"So... what's the deal with you and your father? Are you close? No?" Xiumin asks, looking at the fox he's so fond of. Sehun shyly just readjusts the towel on him, covering his private parts. It's a good thing the steam in the air also works as a camouflage. The sauna is hot, but the weather outside is getting colder. It's evening, and it's bath day. Just a few hours ago they lighted the firewood in the stove. 

"Well... He's... kind of over-protective..." Sehun explains, looking at the ground. Every good father would be over-protective over a reckless son like him. "I was a prisoner in my own home for 13 years until my father finally exposed me to the world. I was a secret, only a few people knew I existed. After it was announced that I am _the_ arctic fox's son, everyone went crazy. Yeah I was then walking the streets of the wolf clan for the first time, but with so much more privilege than the others. Red carpets were basically rolled before me."

"Why were you a secret?" Xiumin wonders as he looks at the fox with worried eyes. The latter doesn't want to meet his eyes at the moment, he's too shy and maybe even sad. How could it be a sad thing to be privileged?

It's also much easier to open up when not looking at someone in the eye.

And in the sauna.

"My mother was murdered when I was 3. I don't remember anything about her", Sehun starts, now looking even more down. Xiumin leans on the wooden wall and tilts his head to the left when listening to the other. Sehun takes a deep breath, his voice slightly trembling. "My father says that she was the most beautiful creature ever. If the people who killed my mother found out that I exist, I would be dead too. That's what he's told me, and that's why I was a secret for 13 years. Until I went to lower secondary. There I met all kinds of girls, boys, betas, alphas, omegas, wolves, foxes, hyenas and so forth... I learned what racism, sexism and xenophobia meant. How the dogs were in their own groups, how the foxes had their own group, wolves, and so on... Everybody was only with their own kind."

"Except you", Xiumin suggests. Sehun utters a laughter.

"I didn't have my own. The foxes didn't want me because I was a rich bitch or something." Now Sehun finally has the courage to meet Xiumin's eyes for a fleeting moment when raising his head. Xiumin tries to smile a little bit to him, but the other quickly turns his look to the stove. Xiumin stays silent for a while and just throws some more water on the stove without a warning. "I liked a boy. I made a mistake to tell it to everyone. It was a mistake because I got to be labeled like a piece of product in a shop that's customers only took everything for free."

"What do you mean by that?" Xiumin wonders because he genuinely doesn't understand what that could possibly mean. Sehun just shrugs and Xiumin lets it go.

"Because they started calling me gay. I didn't know what it meant, obviously, I had only lived at home with my father and our servants and guards, I didn't know what it meant to be gay. Everything that belong to that word now belonged to me. That word along with the fact that I'm Junghoon arctic fox's son... I was just... not me anymore. I wasn't an individual. I was... an item", Sehun explains. Xiumin takes a moment to process that. He doesn't understand it at all but he tries his hardest to do so. Things like that just don't happen in the cat clan. People are in fact defined by their individuality and their status. He guesses that the status system in the cat clan is kind of like what Sehun's on about. Except that the wolf clan has way more boxes.

"...When did you start doing those... those things with alpha wolves?" he wonders. Sehun smiles gently.

"I wanted to be an individual." Now he finally looks at Xiumin without breaking eye contact. "Who else would treat me as an individual if not the people in the same box with me?"

"Oh... so you... made friends at school?" Xiumin wonders and just like that, Sehun breaks eye contact again. Xiumin doesn't mind, it felt a little bit too much anyway. He doesn't want to look at Sehun anymore either.

"Yeah. I met this gay girl named Ellie who belonged to a gang. Her girlfriend belonged to the same gang. They were a cute couple. And, you know, all the queer foxes hang out together at school. Our group was like a subgroup of foxes", Sehun explains when crossing his feet and letting the other swing in the air. Xiumin stares at it. He also thinks about all these little boxes. Maybe people feel safe in their own communities. Maybe they believe that belonging to the same box makes them think the same way, be just like each other.

Canines seem to like their boxes rather differently than cats.

"Anyway, through this girl I met a fox gang. And... I met Wolfgang." God, that name. It hurts the lynx-wolf.

Only one question plays in his mind.

"How old were you then?" Now they make a very awkward eye contact.

"Seventeen." Oh god the age gap. Wolfgang is like ten years older and... Xiumin feels nauseous. 

"You skipped all the other years..."

"Yeah cause nothing happened before Wolfgang. The first year I was utterly alone, the next people found out I liked boys, and after that I was just hanging out with my subgroup until I met Ellie who introduced me to Wolfgang and... drugs."

Wait a second. Drugs were never a part of their conversation before. Xiumin takes a better position and looks at Sehun with disbelief, the other shifting uncomfortably and glancing at him to see his judging gaze.

"You used drugs?"

"Experimental, yes. I wanted to be free, you know? Wolfgang promised me that it would give me that sense of flying and being free."

"Did it? Make you feel free?" Xiumin questions, staring at Sehun who nods his head rapidly.

"It wasn't the amount of men I made out with. It wasn't the amount of alphas whose attention I was trying to get. And it wasn't Wolfgang." Sehun pauses and takes a deep breath, his voice trembling again. Is he afraid of Xiumin's judgement? "It was drugs and other illegal things that made my father lock me up in my room again. And there I've been staying..."

"You steal a lot?" Xiumin wonders, remembering the first time they met and what the guards talked about. Sehun shakes his head.

"I was trying to get myself some street credibility. By... stealing random things... like bracelets... that my father could buy... In fact if he wanted, he could buy the whole store... But it was never about the money. It was just the... rush? Of feeling like I have control over my own life? Like I can make my own decisions? Like I'm not... in a cage?" Xiumin can kind of relate to that. He did escape the cat clan to feel like he's not in a cage, to figure himself out. Maybe everybody needs to do something slightly illegal to find out if it's for them. 

"Like an animal", Xiumin adds.

"Anyway, enough about me. What about you?" Sehun circles it back to the lynx-wolf, looking at him straight in the eyes. Xiumin looks at him for a moment, trying his hardest not to look at the fox's body. It looks so good all wet and sweaty...

"What about me?" he asks obliviously. Sehun smiles cheekily and tilts his head.

"I know I'm just a spoiled fox who wants attention or whatever. But I care about your feelings." Xiumin smiles gently. "How were you... as a teenager?"

"I've lived my whole life in an identity crisis and have no friends, feel like a ghost, my mother is a manipulative bitch and I unconsciously tear innocent people's lungs out. What do you think I was like?"

Sehun is silenced immediately and looks at the stove. Xiumin sighs deeply and throws a little bit more water on it. He glances at the fox to see that he made him very uncomfortable and thinking.

"I always complain and complain. My father is too over-protective, I used drugs, I was utterly alone until I was 14... but I never really thought that I could have it worse. Like... you have", Sehun says and genuinely means it but Xiumin huffs.

"Don't pity on me, please. I don't need it. I'm happy now. Besides, I have three younger siblings and they have always been my best friends."

"Did you ever feel... like everything... is worthless? Like you want to die? Like nobody cares and you're so... lonely?" Those words felt like they came right from Sehun's heart. Xiumin looks at him with sad eyes again.

"All too well. I... have tried to end it all more than once", Xiumin confesses. He sees the very troubled look on Sehun's face. He started to talk about it, but it looks like it's a very sensitive subject to him. Maybe it's not history for him like it is for Xiumin.

He doesn't want to die. He wants to feel alive. And that, is not all too different.

"I'm a bad person. The kind of person who your father tries to keep away from you."

"That just makes me want you more", Sehun exclaims, sweat dripping down from his face. Xiumin focuses his attention to it.

"Because it makes you feel free, I get it."

Sehun stays silent and just sits there with his shoulders up in his ears, grabbing to the bench and breathing through his mouth, hissing at the warmth in the small, steamy room. Xiumin doesn't care if Sehun's uncomfortable by his stare, because he likes Sehun this way. Kind of vulnerable. Silent. Showing this... not so energetic side of him. Not so attention seeking. Like when he took care of his wounds and bruises at the mansion. He wasn't... pretending to be more than he is. Wasn't pretending to feel like whole.

"...How?" Sehun asks, now raising his legs on the bench and hugging them tightly, resting his chin on his knees. Xiumin looks at him weirdly.

"...How what?"

"How did you try to take your life?"

Xiumin really doesn't want to tell Sehun because he's obviously thinking of something. He just shuts his eyes for a moment and tries to forget about the times he had a knife on his wrist, the times he stood on the bridge staring at the waves, contemplating whether to jump or not, the times he tied a knot on the rope and tried to find something to tie it to.

He's never been as glad as he is now that he did not succeed. He's glad that he's so afraid of death that he gave life a chance all those countless times. If he hadn't, he would have never met Sehun, Jongdae, Wolfgang, Biyu... Old Wolf. All those people would be dead to him and he would mean nothing to them.

He puts the towel on him a bit better to stand up and walk over to the other. Sehun doesn't even dare to look at him. Xiumin wonders if it was a mistake but he is so close right now that his heart feels like it's bursting out of his chest. The scent of Sehun makes his mind wild.

But this is not the time or place for those kinds of thoughts. He puts his hand on Sehun's back and just massages it gently. Sehun closes his eyes and pouts. He needs a minute.

"I'm not telling you how. Because I don't want you to even think about it."

"You can't change what I feel", Sehun huffs and hugs his legs tighter.

"I know I can't. But I can certainly try to do everything in my power to make you feel alive."

Sehun bites his lips. Xiumin can see that he's trying to repress some very rough feelings right now but he won't say anything about them. He just closes his eyes and breathes deeply.

"It's okay. Everything's okay", the lynx-wolf tries to say. This just doesn't make Sehun feel any better so he just stands up and walks out to the shower. It's not actually shower but rather a huge bucket full of water and a smaller bucket for washing. 

Xiumin lets Sehun wash himself first. He just sits there, wondering what he did wrong.

Maybe talking about suicide was the thing that wasn't right.

***

Instead of going back to the cabin, they stay in the sauna building by the lake. There's another room next to the washing area and sauna. There's a small changing room with a bed. The room is warm now that the sauna has been heated.

Sehun sits on the bed in his pajamas. Since he packed all of his clothes, he has a lot to choose from. Xiumin has dried himself and put on some clothes when he walks out the washing room, his eyes immediately on Sehun who just sits on the bed, stares at the ground, leaning on his knees with his elbows. 

Xiumin walks closer and finally sits next to him.

"You don't have to tell me about it. It's a very sensitive topic", he exclaims, but Sehun shakes his head.

"No. It's not that. Or maybe it is a bit. I mean... I've just thought about it. Occasionally. It's not like I would attempt it. Maybe if I had some trigger, I would definitely try it." Sehun sighs deeply and leans closer to his knees. "And here I am being all sad for myself when there's people in the world with real problems."

"Sehun, your problems are real. Mine were something that had kind of an easy solution. I mean... when you haven't been yourself all your life, getting to express yourself just a little bit already makes you feel better. My mother abandoned me. She's not hanging onto me like your father is hanging onto you", Xiumin says and puts his hand on Sehun's back. The fox doesn't seem to mind. He just sits there and blinks slowly. "You can't know happiness if you don't know what it's like to be sad. This too will pass."

"I hope you're right."

Sehun now sits up and makes his way under the blanket on the other side of the bed. Xiumin stays on this side. They both have their own blankets, Xiumin with a small white blanket that was laying around in the sauna cabin and Sehun with the same that they had in the cabin. Old Wolf brought it to them, since he was the first one to go to sauna and told them to stay in this building. Maybe it was because he really doesn't want to deal with their sweet act. It makes him feel kind of sick.

Xiumin doesn't mind, though. Old Wolf is his grandfather and he loves him the way he is. A little grumpy, a little conservative, a little strict, but packed with loads of wisdom. That's what Xiumin likes about him. He doesn't pretend to not accept his grandson in every way and form that he exists.

But he loves him like his grandson and that is all that matters. That is just enough.

The fox lays on his side and stares at Xiumin. The lynx-wolf smiles at him for a brief moment. His heart starts racing again. The scent of Sehun so near makes him so happy and his pheromones crazy. Sehun makes him crazy.

"I have to confess this to you. Every day for the past two months, you're the only thing I've been thinking of. Every night I go to bed dreaming about you. Once I smelled your scent, I couldn't stop thinking about you. And it drives me crazy", Xiumin confesses. Sehun blinks slowly before he lets out a gentle chuckle.

"Me too."

"When last night I smelled your scent, I could not believe it. Did you really... come all that way just to get to me?"

Sehun blushes and smiles uncontrollably, now hiding his mouth behind the blanket and looking away from Xiumin. He nods rapidly. And that makes Xiumin's heart just explode with joy and something... weird. Like... someone cares about him. Romantically. He's never felt this way about anyone. No romantic or sexual attraction. He couldn't be bothered with that shit.

But now, everything is different. Because Sehun is different. Sehun... smells different.

"...Ever since I smelled your scent at the marketplace, I haven't stopped thinking of you, either. I knew you were different from the other ones, but I just didn't know how. I knew you were... something more than just a shallow alpha wolf who wanted to have a trophy."

"Are you often objectified?" Xiumin wonders. Sehun stays silent. Seems like he hasn't really been thinking about it.

"I don't know... I don't really... feel that way..." he says slowly and silently. "...But maybe I am."

"Does your father know how you feel about... everything?" Xiumin asks, now scooting a little closer to hear better. He's so close that they could almost kiss. That was not his intention, but he cannot stop staring at Sehun's lips. They're so soft and plump and kissable. So red and so... alive.

"I usually tell my father everything. Usually. But sometimes he just doesn't want to listen and I don't want to tell."

"Why not?" Sehun looks at him weirdly for asking that. Xiumin regrets asking.

"Because he can be an ass about it. And it's uncomfortable. He thinks I'm all over these alpha men. Well, maybe, sometimes, I am. But it makes me uncomfortable to be with other than wolves or foxes..."

Xiumin stays silent for a moment, looking at Sehun's eyes alternatively. 

"What about me?" he wonders. Sehun gulps audibly. "What did you think about me being a lynx?"

"I..." Sehun starts and just stares at Xiumin for a while, his mouth slightly open. He doesn't want to hurt Xiumin's feelings it seems. "...I have to be honest, I felt kind of... disgusted at first. I knew about felines settling in in the wolf clan, but when I saw your ears, I was just... I don't know. Disgusted."

Those were not the words Xiumin wanted to hear but okay. He just hums and lets out a bitter chuckle, now looking anywhere but Sehun. The fox immediately scoots closer.

"But it's not like I think that way anymore-" he tries to patch things up. "I can't change the pull I feel towards you. Besides, even though you're genetically more feline or whatever, you're still some kind of wolf. And to be honest, I'm not picky about how I have my wolves."

"You think I'm a wolf?" Xiumin asks genuinely. Sehun nods rapidly.

"Of course. You smell like a wolf. You are a wolf by full moon."

"Yes. And apparently I am a wolf by my status, sex and brains, too."

"What an unfortunate way to live", Sehun says and has already unconsciously come so close to Xiumin that their faces almost touch. He's holding onto his blanket whilst staring at Xiumin's face, his eyes and lips alternatively. Xiumin notices this. His heart feels like it's beating out of his chest.

Should he go for it? Should he let Sehun do it?

And the best question is, what is happening?

He's an alpha, he should do it, right? He leans closer to the fox's face, every inch of his body trembling. Sehun leans closer to him too.

And just like that, the anxiety bursts into firework inside his chest.


	17. Worrying

Xiumin takes a hold of Sehun's hand and turns him around just when he's about to leave. Sehun turns to look at him and smile cheekily and shyly. It's been four days, and now Sehun has to leave back to the wolf clan. He didn't know that Wolfgang would be so quick to pick him up. And how he contacted Wolfgang? Well, he went to the village nearby with Xiumin and his grandfather to shop and borrow a telephone.

"I'll miss you", Xiumin says with a sad tone and Sehun nods a couple of times before looking back at the ground, fiddling with Xiumin's fingers.

"I'll miss you too." Miss the kiss that they shared in that bed, miss all the thoughts that he let out. Those thoughts that he thought were supposed to stay inside his head forever. Those thoughts that he couldn't share with anyone before. He raises his head to look at Xiumin deeply in the eyes. "But I'll come back next month, I promise."

Xiumin nods a couple of times with a gentle smile. "You better."

Sehun leans a little closer to place a soft kiss on Xiumin's cheek. The Old Wolf huffs very loudly and walks inside, making Xiumin chuckle but the fox slightly disturbed and uncomfortable. Maybe Xiumin thinks it's funny because he doesn't see this kind of behavior _all the time_. The cat clan had none of it.

"Bye for now", the fox says but stays there to just caress Xiumin's cheek and stare at him in the eyes. The lynx-wolf stares back at him with fond look in his eyes. Until his eyes drift to the driver who's basically glaring daggers at both of them. Wolfgang still has something against Xiumin.

"Bye, Sehun", Xiumin says when Sehun finally takes his hands off the other and walks closer to the car, still looking behind himself to see the man he's so fond of. He bumps into the car when staring at Xiumin, now making the latter laugh uncontrollably. He blushes a bit and scratches the back of his neck before opening the door and sitting inside the cab where the smell of cigarette pulls him back to earth, harshly.

Xiumin walks to his grandfather inside the cabin. Sehun stays in the car to just look at him through the wing mirror of the cab, until he vanishes behind the door and they drive away, until the cabin is out of the view. Wolfgang stays silent and stares at the road. Sehun sighs deeply.

"How was your honeymoon?" the Fennec fox finally grunts out. Sehun looks at everything except Wolfgang in the car. The radio, the glass, the mirror, the trash of some takeout food. The grey surface. The paper that has all kinds of different times on it. Probably some of Wolfgang's illegal business. If the guards found that piece of paper, he would be in deep shit. But as if the guards cared enough to go look for it.

"It was... too short. You shouldn't have come this early." Sehun said that Monday would be fine, but Wolfgang came now, on Friday.

"I come whenever I have time. Weekends are always busy."

"Monday isn't weekend, Wolfgang."

"Don't talk back to me."

Sehun looks at Wolfgang with a hurt look on his face. He would like to give him some sass, but somehow it hurt him. Wolfgang and him don't ever actually say anything mean to each other. It's always just... teasing, or playfully mean. It's never anything serious that would hurt anyone's feelings.

This time it kind of did. Sehun turns his look to the ground and bites his lips. Silence again.

At home he has to face his father. How's he going to do that? Junghoon is going to be furious. The two of them were supposed to do something together, but instead Sehun went and... left him. Like he always left Sehun.

Like father like son.

Wolfgang grunts and hits the steering wheel, out of the blue. Sehun is startled by it and he just stares at the older fox with a confused look on his face. The driver says a few swear words in his anger. The younger fox doesn't understand it.

"...Wolfgang?"

"I told you not to talk to me! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

"What have I ever done to you?!" Sehun yells back at him. Wolfgang stops the car all of a sudden, making Sehun almost hit his head. Wolfgang closes his eyes for a moment and just breathes, grabbing the steering wheel.

Sehun is scared. He genuinely has no idea what is going on.

Wolfgang turns to look at him with such pain in his eyes that Sehun cannot comprehend. Until the older fox takes his head in his hands and pulls the younger one closer to himself, to kiss him on the lips.

Sehun doesn't understand what's going on. The only emotion that he can focus on is how uncomfortable he is. In Wolfgang's arms. It used to be safe there. It used to feel like home there. It used to feel like nothing could hurt him there, like he was the most important person in the whole world.

Right now it makes him feel unsafe. It makes him feel out of place, far from home. Nothing like Xiumin. He feels... like the rest of the wolves and foxes that he's been with. The difference is that Wolfgang was his first.

The younger fox pushes the other one off of him with clear disgust on his face and in his actions. Wolfgang stays put and just stares at Sehun with a defeated look. His look turns to ground and he turns to the steering wheel, now basically hitting his face against it. Sehun turns the radio on, listening to some music from a cassette that Wolfgang has in his car. He has a few of them and they're all some punk or heavy rock. Then he gets out of the car, just to get back in but now on the backseat. He turns to look at the view outside.

"Sehun", Wolfgang tries. The younger one pretends like he's not hearing. He just hums to the music even though the punk is almost impossible to hum along with. The Fennec fox looks at him from the rear view mirror, but Sehun doesn't even care. "Don't tell your father about this, okay?"

He stays quiet. Wolfgang just hums before pressing the gas again, driving away from the middle of the woods.

Sehun needs a break. From life. From drama. He cannot stand the thought of Wolfgang still having feelings for him. It makes him so uncomfortable.

And it makes him miss the old times. Even if the old times involve a lot of making out with Wolfgang, playing it safe while playing it dangerously, Wolfgang was always gentle and made him feel like he was important, like he wasn't alone. Made sure he wasn't hurt, made sure no one else touched him. Made sure no one touched him the wrong way.

But he also introduced him to his friends, those friends that got him high and carefree. His salvation, his savior. His ecstasy in the form of small, colorful pills.

***

Sehun opens the door to his home. He cannot stop thinking about Xiumin and the time they spent together in that sauna cabin. It was only four days, but he got to know Xiumin on such a deep level. His past... His family...

But he also cannot stop thinking about what happened in the car with Wolfgang. The two didn't say anything else to each other after that. Even when Sehun walked out the door, Wolfgang didn't even say bye. Neither did Sehun.

His father doesn't seem to be downstairs. It's not too late in the day, Sehun wouldn't be surprised if his father was still at work. But as he walks upstairs to his room, he finds that the door is ajar. Junghoon is sitting in his son's room and looking at some old photographs.

The son's heart breaks when he hears the father crying. It's not some loud wailing, but more like sniffling. He never sees his father crying. Junghoon is a politician, he doesn't show his weak side to the public. It makes the son sad too. Maybe his actions really have a consequence on the old man, maybe he's been too selfish, not caring about Junghoon's feelings at all.

He steps inside his room. The father looks up at him but is immediately embarrassed by his tears so he wipes them away. Sehun starts unpacking his suitcase, not caring about his father's look burning on his skin. Junghoon is very good at stopping crying. He only sniffles a little bit.

They stay silent for a while. Sehun is too afraid to say anything and Junghoon is too emotional to think of anything rational to say. Until he stands up and walks before his son who's unpacking his clothes to his closet.

"Where were you?" Junghoon asks with the most official and calm voice he could ever fake. He left the photographs on the bed, Sehun eyes at them. It looks like it's a picture of him as a child. It makes him remember how lonely his childhood was. Why is his father so blind to that?

"I was at my friend."

"Which friend? Do I know them?"

"No." Sehun replies shortly and bluntly, still unpacking his case. The father takes a hold of his hand and looks at him in the eyes with sad ones. It makes Sehun so uncomfortable. His chest feels sinking. His heart just keeps going deeper and deeper into his chest, into a dark void. His thoughts are irrational and pictures of his childhood make him feel so much worse. "Why were you looking at a picture of me as a kid?"

"I was just... thinking."

"Thinking about what? How fucked up I turned out to be? How worthless I turned out to be? How fucking useless and reckless and pathetic I became?!" Sehun yells at his father who looks at him even sadder.

"I never said that."

"But that's what you were thinking! That's what you're always thinking!" Sehun yells. He already misses Xiumin. His chest feels more sinking. "Last time we talked about this, you said that I give you so much trouble!"

He misses Xiumin.

He wants to go back to the cabin in the woods.

Back to Xiumin and his homophobic grandfather.

Junghoon looks at his son with sad eyes. He takes Sehun's both hands in his hands and sits down on the bed, motioning Sehun to sit down too. The younger fox sighs deeply and prepares himself for a lecture, sitting down next to his father and looking anywhere but him.

"I'm just... sorry... for..." Junghoon lets go of Sehun and leans his arms on his knees, burying his face in his hands for a moment to take a deep breath. Sehun feels that something isn't quite like he thought. After a couple times of just breathing, Junghoon collects himself and shakes his head once. "I'm sorry for being a bad father."

And with those words he just breaks down again. He cries into his palms and there's no end to his tears. Sehun just sits there and stares at his crying father. What should he do? He had no idea his father was feeling like this.

He pats his father's back and tries to comfort him.

"No, daddy, you're not a bad father. It's not your fault I'm such a fuck up." That does not make Junghoon feel any better.

"I'm talking about how alone you must have felt, living alone in this caged room. The truth is I've been so worried over something bad happening to you that I wouldn't let anything good happen to you, either. So I left you here alone while I was working, to get my mind off the memories of your mother. And your face... your face just reminded me of her. Your looks, your mannerism, your adventurous and experimental nature... You're just like her. And I couldn't take it. I can't... So instead of facing my problems like a man, I left you to be someone else's problem."

Sehun turns away from his father. His lower lip quivers but he won't let the tears fall.

"You're not a fuck up. I am. I am a terrible father... I understand if you hate me... You have every right..."

Sehun tries his hardest not to cry. He looks down at the ground and thinks deeply about his father's words. So much has happened during these days, his head feels dizzy.

And damn right he has the right to hate his father for locking him up here for his entire life! But how could he hate that old man? Junghoon has been dealing with personal issues ever since the death of his wife. But that won't give Sehun back his lost childhood.

"M-maybe I should have given you up for adoption. Given you to parents who would have spent time with you, parents who would have always loved you. Parents who weren't scared to face you. I can't lie and tell you I always loved you. Because there were times when I just... couldn't..." Those words break Sehun thoroughly. He can't take it anymore. Junghoon turns to his son, just to realize that the other is holding his own head and sobbing.

Junghoon takes a hold of Sehun's arms and tries to turn him to look at him. Sehun does not want to. He wants to get away from this feeling. The truth hurts and it hurts even more because Sehun always feared this. He just always tried to keep up the faith that his father always loved him no matter what. There was nobody else who would have loved him! He was literally all alone and it has left a big open wound on his mind.

The father forces his son to turn to him but Sehun persists on getting away from him. He can't be around him. Not now. Junghoon cries just as much as Sehun and he shivers just as much.

"P-pl-please forgive me, S-Sehun", he cries. Sehun shakes his head rapidly. How could he forgive those words? "Y-you know I love you, right?"

And Sehun keeps shaking his head. He doesn't know anymore. He always tried to but right now it all seems like a lie.

"G-get out of my room", he hisses through his teeth. Junghoon's heart breaks even worse than it has already shattered.

"Y-you don't really mean that-"

"I do. Please. Leave me alone." Junghoon falls on the floor on his knees and crosses his hands, now leaning his forehead against Sehun's knee. Sehun looks down at him feeling utterly disgusted.

"Please... Let me make things right..." he begs.

"You broke me. It's all your fault. I am your mistake. Now take some responsibility!" Sehun turns cold. He doesn't feel anything for his crying father at the moment, all he can think of is how bad he feels himself. How could he even consider his father's feelings in this situation? He said such hurtful things they cannot just be forgotten, and in this state of mind, they can't even be discussed. All he wants now is some time alone.

Junghoon cries and sobs with no end to his tears. There's silence in the room aside from his sobbing. Sehun doesn't even care right now. He just wants his father to leave.

Junghoon takes a deep breath and finally stands up. He doesn't say anything or even look at his son, just drags his feet against the floor and exits the room.

When the door clicks close, Sehun bursts into tears, falls into his bed, grabs a pillow and cries into it, thinking about all the painful memories of the past, slowly reopening the already scarred wounds.

 


	18. Letter

Xiumin lays in his bed and stares at the ceiling as his grandfather is cooking the food. The old wolf cooks the soup in a pot on top of the fireplace. It's evening and the nights are getting warmer.

"What were you thinking?" he suddenly asks. That makes Old Wolf look at his grandson with a question mark on his face. Xiumin can feel his stare. "When you... raped my grandmother?"

The old wolf stays silent and looks back at the pot. He adds some salt to the soup. The lighting in the room is vague, only the fireplace brings light. The sun is setting and will soon hide behind the lake, and the world from this side will be dark again.

Xiumin doesn't like nights. He likes the day when he has something to do. He stays up all night, every night. It's not his intention but he can't stop thinking about Sehun and Wolfgang and his family and everything that has gone to shit...

But why does it make him feel so alive?

"I wasn't thinking", the old wolf finally replies to his grandchild's question. "I was untamed. Like your wolf form."

Xiumin just hums and keeps staring at the ceiling. He's thinking about the clan wars. What was it like to live and be in war?

"That's like asking from you what were you thinking when you killed all those felines", the grandfather points out. Xiumin closes his eyes and sighs deeply. He wants to forget about all those innocent lives he's taken. The guilt and pain will never go away.

That keeps him up at night, too. But the fact that he feels remorse over the death of those innocent people makes him glad - if he didn't feel guilt, he would be an actual killer. He would be a real, cold psychopath.

If there was any way to bring them back to life, Xiumin would do it. Even if it meant losing his life or having to suffer for eternity. If he could bring those people back...

But that's just not possible. What's done is done. The only person he can blame is his father. But his father also tried to make his life better. So is Old Wolf the one to blame? But he was untamed, he didn't know what he was doing, just like Xiumin.

So what's really to blame? The society? Or should he be accusing anyone at all? Why not accept this as a truth of life, accept that not everything in life goes smoothly? That not everything is happy? That not everything is great, and that is exactly what makes those great moments great.

"You couldn't control yourself", Xiumin wonders out loud. Old Wolf hums.

"The soup is almost ready."

"Can you tell me more about the war?" the grandson asks and finally sits up on the bed to look at his grandfather. The old wolf keeps stirring the stew, grunting and breathing so deeply and audibly that it often irritates Xiumin.

"The war... is... horrifying. You do everything in your power in order to kill another person. As much of them as possible. There are no people, after all. They're all just objects." Xiumin looks down at the ground as the old wolf takes the pot and puts it on a small piece of wood on the table. He tastes the stew with the ladle. "My recipe has changed. My mind has changed. My thoughts on the world, my personality. Even my family and my beliefs, my looks. War... it changed me. But war itself, it never changes. The reasons for war will always be ridiculous and unjustified because never is a good time to go in war."

Xiumin stands up and walks to the table, listening intently to his grandfather. The old wolf gives him a bowl and puts some soup in it. Then he takes one for himself and sits down at the table, never looking back at his grandson.

"When I was your age, I hated felines. I hated cervines and ursines, too. I wanted war with them."

"Why would you want war when you knew you had to be in the field?" Xiumin wonders. He cannot understand why would anybody want such horrible things to happen. But the old wolf sighs deeply.

"Yes, I knew I would be in the field. I wanted to show other clans that we're superior to them."

Xiumin looks down as well. He can hear from his grandfather's voice that this topic irritates him. Must be a trigger for some unwanted memories that he's been trying to suppress. His memory, however, is very good.

"I know better now. I know that cervines and felines are far more superior than the canines or ursines. Your technology, your equality among people, the social security... They're like utopias. Only dreams to the wolves and the bears."

"You know things about the other clans?" This makes Xiumin look back up at his grandfather who also now makes eye contact. Xiumin is interested in knowing more about the bear clan and elk clan as well. They've always been rather mysteries to him... like the wolf clan was.

"I was there, how could I forget? We were taught about the other clans so we could attack them more efficiently. I have helped more clan-outlaws than you... Like I said, my views have changed. Those outlaws have kept me updated about their clan business. The elk clan is very technologically advanced. They sell stuff to other clans overseas - something that the wolf clan couldn't even dream of. We're rolling the same money in our own clan and sometimes buy and sell things to the other clans in this continent - but as we both know, most of that is illegal. Has been since the start of the major clans. But the elk clan isn't all fun and games. You see, the authorities keep a close eye on them. Not attending all sorts of tests will basically make you an outlaw. The authorities are _always_ watching."

Xiumin listens intently to the lecture. He's only heard a bit about the elk clan from Wolfgang, but he doesn't really like Wolfgang nor does the fox like him, so he couldn't always trust his words.

"But the elk clan does welcome members of the other clans to visit or even settle down. It is illegal to go to the elk clan by our law, but not illegal for us to go there by their law. One mistake will result in a fine of thousands of gold or years of imprisonment. You can imagine that law and order is what drives that clan. Unlike us, the authorities turn a blind eye on all the drugs and gambling and assaults in here unless you turn them in yourself with a load of evidence. And then the bear clan, the worst of us all, may I say. They may be richer than our clan, but they are ruled by the royal bear family that has been in charge ever since the start of their clan. And the family has never been too kind to those who criticize the form of government. They hold public executions and torture everyone who may be hating on the royal family, breaking the law or who is... like you."

"Suddenly I'm glad to have been born in the cat clan", Xiumin states to which the old wolf smiles gently.

"When I... did those things to your grandmother, I wasn't myself. I wasn't in control. I saw her as an object and wanted to assert my dominance. She wasn't the only woman I violated that way." Xiumin looks at him with a weirded out look on his face.

"Don't tell me I have some cousins I don't know about."

"The probability of that is fairly minimal. Your father was lucky to have survived. A lot of omega women were pregnant after the clan wars, which is why... well, the babies were killed." Xiumin looks at his grandfather with disbelief. The slaughter of all those innocent babies and the pain those mothers had...

What if his father was killed during that time? How could he have survived? His mother must have been hiding somewhere or hid that she was pregnant. Xiumin can't eat his soup, he just stares at the table. He really misses home, his siblings... even his mother, even if she is a witch. The mother won't want to see him again, however.

"I gotta write a letter. Do you know anyone who could take it to my siblings?" Xiumin asks his grandfather who now looks at him from under his eyebrows, slurping the soup out of his spoon.

"I know someone. But you have to promise me that you won't reveal your location or mention anything about me." Xiumin looks at him with his eyebrow raised.

"What? But I want to talk about you to my siblings! You're their grandfather, too!"

"There's a reason why I live in the woods, away from civilization", he says, looking down at the table with his eyebrows furrowed. This makes Xiumin confused. 

"What... what do you mean?" he wonders.

"What do you think I mean?" the old wolf asks, not once looking at his grandson. Xiumin shakes his head.

"You're not... running from something, are you?"

The old wolf stays silent. So does Xiumin. His jaw is dropped as he stares at his silent grandfather who calmly sips the soup. Xiumin wants to know more, he has to! If his grandfather is an outlaw just like him, it makes things so much... worse, actually. They are two runaways then, people are looking for them, bounty on their heads.

"Can you tell me who?" Xiumin inquires but the grandfather stays reluctant to talk about it.

"Eat your soup. It's getting colder."

Xiumin shakes his head. How could he eat with this feeling inside his chest? He's too curious and he's missing his siblings too much.

So he stands up and walks to the bed. The old wolf follows him with his eyes. The younger wolf takes out a paper, ink and a quill from the nightstand drawer and starts writing.

The letter is mainly aimed at Irene, but it's for all of his siblings. He explains that he's fine and he's in good hands, but they must not know where he is or otherwise something bad might happen. He tells them how much he misses and loves them, and how alive he feels these days. He just writes away and the grandfather stares, just thinking about the soup that's getting colder. As if the letter couldn't wait.

He explains how he misses piggybacking all of them and wrestling them when they were kids. He encourages them to be themselves and love each other and life. He encourages them to find help and hold on to other people in times of need but also take some time alone and not beat themselves up. Tears almost run down his cheeks as he gets all sentimental here, making his grandfather most uncomfortable.

Lastly Xiumin writes that they must burn this letter after reading it. He misses and loves them. And he has to write down his real name, Minseok. Or is it his real name? He finds Xiumin more real these days.

"You done?" the old wolf asks. Xiumin nods.

"Yeah", he replies and seals the letter. "...I'll eat my soup now."


	19. Linger

The weather is getting warmer mid-April and the last bits of snow are finally melting. In the middle of the woods is still chill, some snow here and there.

Sehun stares at Old Wolf who is tying his grandson to a tree, rope around his body and the tree behind his back. It's evening, the sun is setting, tonight is full moon. Xiumin's senses are heightened and he's on the alert, holding back his lust for blood and terror.

The grandfather takes a few steps back and stares at his grandson with a determined look. Sehun looks at the old wolf and his love alternatively, not quite sure how to feel about the whole situation. Nothing happens for moments. Xiumin's eyes are shifting between his grandfather and the fox who's worried to death. The concerned look in Sehun's eyes makes him more uncomfortable and incapable of holding the beast down.

But Old Wolf doesn't even seem to bat an eye at the situation. He just stares at the troubled one. Sehun feels fear. His body starts to tremble when Xiumin starts shifting around and he starts breathing deeply, huffing. He heaves and his body starts aching, transforming slowly and painfully into this mutation.

Sehun holds his mouth as he watches his love turn from innocent lynx into a big, bad wolf. _Dà Hui Láng_. His eyes glow yellow and his teeth are sharp and pointy. His drool is dripping and his claws are sharp.

Sehun takes a step back and the old wolf hmphs at him.

"Scared of him, are you?" he wonders. The fox looks at him with a horrified look on his face.

"He's... He's..." he keeps saying and gasping for breath.

"...Magnificent?" Old Wolf tries but the other just cannot take his eyes off the wolf that keeps shaking his head and trying to break free from the rope that keeps him tied to the tree. Sehun has a feeling that the rope will not last. "Do you want to go inside the cabin and watch? If he breaks free, who knows how we may end up."

Sehun imagines the horror if Xiumin were to break free, and if he were to kill both of them. What would Xiumin do after that? Kill himself? Live alone in the woods? Move on? Moving on after the death of his father hasn't exactly been successful. He figures Xiumin could never forgive himself.

Fear of death makes Sehun take a few more steps away from the love of his life who now resembles more a monster than the sweet lynx-wolf he admires. He takes a few more steps back before Xiumin starts to bite the rope to free himself. The fox flees behind the old wolf. Old Wolf just stares at his grandson with peace.

Xiumin bites and bites until the ropes are almost off him. Sehun trembles and whimpers behind the old wolf, thinking about the fact that this must be the end for him. He's going to be killed by the man he loves, he's sure of it.

And then, when he's finally free, he goes to his grandfather and roars to his face. Old Wolf stares at him in the eyes with calm his calm ones.

Then he sniffs the fox behind him. He's trembling and crying. Xiumin roars a little bit that just makes Sehun all the more afraid, tugging onto the old wolf's clothes like his dear life depended on it. Maybe it does?

Much to his surprise, Xiumin stays passive. He just sniffs the two and then leaves them alone. He walks to the rope that was around him a while back and just sniffs it. He also sniffs the trees around him and takes in his surroundings. The sunset.

"Don't move. Don't even think about moving", the old wolf says to Sehun who couldn't even imagine raising his foot to take a step in any direction.

But then, Old Wolf himself walks away and into the cabin! Sehun whimpers, now holding his mouth with both his hands. He stares at Xiumin with fear before falling on his knees to cry. Was this his plan? To get rid of Sehun? To get rid of wolf clan's most influential fox's son?!

He has never feared for his life like at this moment. Not even when he was with those men, not even with those drugs. Not even when he pulled a knife from the kitchen drawer and placed it on his wrist. Not even when he had Wolfgang's gun pressed on his temple. But it was his own hand ready to pull the trigger.

Yet still he was afraid, in all those situations. Not quite like he is now, but he was scared to death. And that is exactly why he didn't end it himself. Wants to die but is afraid of it.

Maybe he's just an attention seeker? Seeking for attention by not actually being suicidal? He hates life but still he's hanging onto it like he loved it. Like there was some reason worth living.

As he stares at the big bad wolf in the sunset, he cannot stop thinking about Xiumin. That truly is Xiumin, the person that he keeps thinking about alone in his room.

The big bad wolf walks over to the fox. He sniffs his hair and Sehun almost faints from fear. But to his surprise, the wolf only sniffs him. And then he walks away, to gather in his surroundings again.

Sehun feels slightly more at peace. Old Wolf comes out again, with two cups of tea. He sits down at the bench he has on his backyard and hands the other cup of tea to Sehun. The latter's hand shiver so much that the cup lands on the ground, breaking in pieces. The old wolf just shakes his head and sighs deeply.

"My grandmother's cup", he murmurs. "Well I guess it was my own fault."

This irritates Xiumin, so he comes over to sniff them again. Sehun whimpers and hides his face while kneeling on the ground. Now he's sure of his death again, mainly because of how quick Xiumin was to get to them after the noise.

"You never know what untamed canines do", Old Wolf tries to scare Sehun, successfully so. "They might just bite your head off."

And then he laughs, making Xiumin's interest focus on his grandfather. The old wolf stares at him and smile faintly.

"If you were in the clan wars, we would have won them all. Or, you would have", he laughs. Xiumin walks over to him. "Oh come on. I'm your grandfather, don't you remember? Your father's father? And this man on the ground, your... lover. You still feel the pull towards him, don't you? Your senses are heightened, your feelings towards him are as well, aren't they?"

Xiumin can't speak. He can't communicate in any way, but he looks over to Sehun and gently approaches him. Then, he lays down on the floor, looking at Sehun and heaving heavily. Old Wolf just smiles as he sees this.

"He's showing his stomach. It means he's showing his vulnerable side to you. Because he trusts you", he explains. Sehun doesn't seem to understand, he's in so much fear. "Go on, walk to him. Talk to him. Cuddle him up real good and stay outside for the night, I promise you nobody's gonna hurt you with that thing near you, and he's as warm as all hell."

Then he gets up. Sehun stares at him for a while before looking at the big wolf who stares at him with his yellow, creepy eyes. Sehun shudders, but he approaches the beast slowly. He carefully puts his hand on the beast's side and pets him. The wolf closes his eyes. Sehun gathers up his courage, reminding himself that this beast is Xiumin, and leans onto his chest to lay down with him. He's huge and hairy, but also soft. His chest moves up and down quickly.

"Are you in pain?" he asks with a soft voice. The wolf looks at him for a moment, but can't say anything. Then he lays on the ground again, Sehun rubbing his chest calmly.

"That, my grandson, is a magnificent beast", the old wolf exclaims as he starts walking inside the cabin. "Don't do anything sexually suggestive or you won't walk for weeks, possibly for the rest of your life. Trust me, just don't do it."

And with those words he just leaves. Sehun's eyes are wide open and he doesn't really know what to do with the information. Xiumin feels the bond stronger, so he must feel the urge to... mate with Sehun... even harder.

Sehun doesn't fear for his life anymore. He fears for his ass.

But he decides to not give into the fear. He keeps petting Xiumin's side calmly and gently, hoping to keep the beast behaved. He starts feeling sleepy and Xiumin is incredibly warm. Even if it's just spring, and the snow has just melted. Though this is what their animal ancestors did, they always slept outside... And their human ancestors slept inside, in the warmth.

"...It's gonna get cold in here. But you're so warm... I should probably go inside... But I don't want to leave you alone... I don't want you to wander in the woods on your own..." Sehun speaks to Xiumin who can't even properly comprehend him. The beast breathes a little more calmly and Sehun hopes it's a good thing. "...I don't want to leave you outside, Xiumin. I'd get you inside, but I don't know if there's enough room for you."

He's bothered that the old wolf just went inside the house and went to sleep after drinking his tea, leaving the two outside. Though, it's typical of him.

Sehun snuggles on Xiumin better and tugs on his fur, laying his whole upper body on Xiumin's torso. So cozy, so warm...

"I was really afraid of you at first. But then I saw that you would never hurt me or your grandfather. You wouldn't... hurt me, would you?"

Now Xiumin raises his head to look at Sehun again. The fox raises his head to look at his eyes with slight fear. The beast just breathes deeply before taking a better position to keep Sehun warm, landing his big, furry tail on the fox's body. Sehun has never felt this safe and protected.

He smells like wet dog... But Sehun snuggles onto his fur and pats him gently. His heart feels warm.

"I'll take that as a no..." he smiles and closes his eyes, listening to the silence of the woods and his beast's heavy breathing before it becomes slower, and the beast finally starts to calm down.

***

The rays of sunshine shine right on the backyard. The ground is slightly wet, but the sun is heating and drying it quickly.

Sehun's throat feels a bit rough. He coughs a couple times and gets up to find out that he's laying on Xiumin's naked body, the lynx-wolf laying on his side while holding Sehun's head against his stomach. Sehun's head feels light and he's dizzy.

He tries shaking the other one awake. There's no way that he's leaving him outside anymore.

Last night feels like a dream. Did Sehun just sleep with Xiumin the whole night? When he was in his untamed wolf form? That's hard to imagine. Explain that to his father...

"Xiumin", he tries. The other one blinks slowly and grunts. "Wake up. Let's go sleep inside."

The lynx-wolf is naked and it makes Sehun rather uncomfortable. This is the first time he sees him naked and it makes his cheeks blush a little. It's not that he's shy about it, it's just that he and Xiumin have something so real and at the moment quite innocent, he can't even think about Xiumin that way. It's... too soon? Weird, how he could just hop in bed with all those wolves, but not this wolf. With this wolf things need to be slow so they won't get enough of each other too quickly.

Sehun rubs Xiumin's side. The latter grunts again. He's so sleepy. It makes Sehun smile faintly and genuinely.

"Wake up, Xiumin. You're gonna freeze to death", he tries. That's when the older one starts blinking his eyes and finally making eye contact with the younger one.

"...Where am I?"

"...Backyard... You transformed last night, do you remember?"

"...I do remember", Xiumin replies with a raspy voice.

"We slept the night outside", Sehun exclaims and that makes Xiumin's eyes widen. He looks at his surroundings and finally his body to see that he is in fact naked. Frankly, he doesn't care.

"...Oh. I remember being in horrible pain... but then I heard your voice... and felt your touch..." he says with a deep sigh. Sehun smiles gently.

"...We should go inside. You must be freezing."

Xiumin stands up very slowly and carefully with Sehun's help. He's still a bit in pain but Sehun helps him walk.

They go inside to the bed where Sehun helps Xiumin put on some underwear. The older one grunts and huffs and after that is done, he falls into the bed, gripping the bed sheets and breathing calmly. He's going to fall asleep again.

Sehun smiles widely to the sight of this big baby. Then he proceeds to take off his hoodie, pants and shoes to lay down in a loose white t-shirt, blue boxer briefs and black socks. Xiumin shifts closer to him. Sehun turns his back, when Xiumin wraps an arm around the younger one's body and presses their bodies together. His nose is between Sehun's shoulder blades and he breathes against his shirt, his hot breath penetrating through the fabric.

The fox would like to just fall asleep. But he takes Xiumin's hand in his own and plays with his fingers for a little bit. His hand is slightly smaller, he is in every way a little smaller than Sehun... That must be why it hurts so much for him to transform to his wolf form. If he was two meters tall, he wouldn't have pain as severe as he has now. But it doesn't mean he would be without it.

He closes his eyes and listens to the older one's breathing. It's calm now...

And the silent minutes pass by with a lingering speed.


	20. Beyond

Sehun and Xiumin lay on the bed in the sauna cabin, facing each other. The sun is shining through the curtains, it's morning. This is the last day that Sehun will spend with Xiumin and his grandfather again.

Every time Sehun leaves, Xiumin feels immense pain and misery in his chest. He's hanging onto Sehun for his dear life and he's not sure if it's a good thing. He wouldn't like to be dependent on other people...

But Sehun just makes him feel so good, so cared about and loved. All the memories that Xiumin has about his family feel a little less of a burden when Sehun is there to share them with him.

The fox smiles to the wolf when caressing his face. It makes Xiumin feel warm inside.

"...I gotta go back home today. Back to Wolfgang, back to daddy... And they're both going to be pissed at me... Then, I'll spend the next month alone in my room again", he sighs rather sadly. This makes Xiumin sad as well. He pulls the blanket on both of them, snuggling against the sheets better to make himself comfortable... and to think of something intelligent to say to the other one.

They talk about everything. Their families, their past, their dreams, their hopes, their ideas, their plans, their fears, the clans, politics, the world... Everything beyond the realms of this world.

"...I wish I could keep you some company in your lonely little room."

"I wish you could, too", Sehun sighs and just stares at the wolf who gazes back at him. "I met Jongdae last week. If you even... care."

Jongdae. That bastard. Just hearing his name makes Xiumin irritated. Thought they were friends. But he thought too soon.

"...Yeah. He's alive and well?"

"He didn't seem too well, to be honest. He was looking for some medicine. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't even look at my way. And that's when one of daddy's guards caught me again... And daddy yelled at me, as usual."

"Things don't seem to go too well between you and your father again", Xiumin exclaims. Sehun blinks a couple times before looking down. He then shakes his head.

"Things are getting worse. He's been drinking again. He cries a lot more. He yells a lot more... He's irritated all the time and that's the only attention he gives me... I don't know what's gone into him, but I'm so worried", he confesses, now looking back up at Xiumin again. The latter looks genuinely sad for him. He takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm afraid he might do something to hurt me or himself."

"...I'm so sorry, Sehun. Is there anyone your father could turn to? Like a psychologist or something?" Sehun shakes his head.

"He could, but he's a stubborn person. He's stressed about work and thinks he's a failure if he doesn't endure the stress... To be honest, I think I'm making it worse by coming here."

They share a very genuinely worried look. Xiumin wraps his arm around Sehun's body and starts petting his side. Sehun closes his eyes and just enjoys the touch that he's receiving through his shirt.

"...I don't want to suggest that you don't come here anymore. But if that's what your father needs then-"

"Shush", Sehun immediately hushes and shakes his head. "I'm coming here, okay? He'll have to work this one without me. Ain't like he's been there for me... I'm not gonna be there for him."

Xiumin looks at him worriedly. Sehun should spend time with his father... But he understands that if Sehun's father doesn't want to spend time with his son, Sehun has no way to make it work. After all, he's not the one able to roam around the house freely. Although he does sometimes, because some of the guards or the maids open the door for him out of pity.

"...Let's talk about something else", Sehun suggests. He turns on his back and opens his eyes slowly, staring at the ceiling. Xiumin looks at his perfect side profile. The jaw that could cut through metal... The lips that look oh so kissable, the lips that he in fact kissed countless times last night before going to sleep. Maybe it would have gone further, but Xiumin panicked the moment Sehun's hand went under his shirt. That was way too much. "...What do you dream of?"

"...What I dream?" Xiumin echoes. He turns to look at the ceiling as well. It's wooden... There is some dust floating in the air. Before Sehun comes here the next time, Xiumin will clean this place up.

"Your greatest dream", Sehun elaborates.

"I dream of a life where nobody tells me what to do or how to be. I just want to live in peace, and happy. With you", Xiumin explains with a faint smile on his face, but also sadness. Could it ever be true? Him and Sehun happily ever after? Seems like a dream that will stay just that way. A dream.

"...I want to spend my life with you too", Sehun confesses, now turning back on his side to snuggle against Xiumin. The older one takes him in his arms and feels his heart warming up. "...In a place where I can be myself. Where I can be free. Where we can walk the streets without people staring at us and whispering. Somewhere safe. Some place... to call home."

"Some day your father will have to know about this relationship. What will you say then?"

"...I'll prepare to get disowned, honestly", Sehun sighs and snuggles against Xiumin's chest tighter, making the older one chuckle. He looks down at the fox who's breathing heavily and warmly against his chest, tickling him slightly in the process.

Then he raises up to lean on his arms and look at the wolf with his hair on his face. He grins in a goofy way to showcase his teeth. Xiumin ruffles his hair even more.

"What an idiot", he chuckles and Sehun pretends to be offended.

"Take back those words, mister, or I will have to... punish you", he turns his tone into a weirdly sexual one.

"Oh, what did you have in mind?" Xiumin wonders as the younger one climbs on top to straddle his lap. The wolf cannot control himself and just places his hands on the other one's hips, massaging them and circling to the back to squeeze his firm butt cheeks.

Sehun leans over to bite Xiumin's lip. Then he moves onto his ear and speaks with a low, silent voice.

"I'll tie you up..." he threatens. He gets up to take his scarf that will serve the purpose for now. He ties Xiumin's arms on a wrap on his chest. When it's tight enough and Xiumin is unable to move, Sehun smiles mischievously. "...And tickle you!"

The fox then starts to tickle Xiumin's stomach. The wolf would now jump up if he could, but he's just screaming and squirming.

"No! This is torture!!"

"I told you!" Sehun just laughs back as he sees his victim gasping for air. Xiumin literally tries to kick Sehun off him, but to no avail. The evil has won this battle.

After a moment of torture, Sehun stops and releases Xiumin. He bites his own lips and looks at the wolf with such excitement. Xiumin also has some new energy that kind of makes him want to bone Sehun right here and now. He was very sexually rubbing his own crotch against the other one's and can feel that he got a little hard. Sehun breathes deeply and looks at Xiumin under him with half-lidded, hazy eyes, mouth slightly ajar. He leans down to bite Xiumin's lips so hard that they almost start bleeding. Xiumin returns the favor. This won't stand.

The scarf loosens up a bit and Xiumin wiggles his way out of it, taking Sehun in his arms and pushing him on his back, next to himself. Now Xiumin is on top, but he scoots away from Sehun's crotch and just lays his torso on Sehun's, kissing him intently. The fox opens his mouth and lets Xiumin dominate him, though the latter is slightly unsure of his actions. But he trusts Sehun and Sehun trusts him, so they have all the room they need to experiment and do mistakes that are kind of funny and embarrassing to remember later on.

Xiumin travels his hand down south on Sehun's crotch to touch his half-hard dick. He rubs it over the clothes and Sehun moans lightly. One great thing about your partner being the same sex is that you know how their body works. Xiumin stops the kissing for a while to look at Sehun's moaning, pleasure-filled face.

"...You're... Okay with this, right?" he asks, making sure. Sehun chuckles.

"I like everything that you do to me", he confesses, bucking his hips up to meet Xiumin's hand. The older one dives in to suck on Sehun's neck and make a hickey on it. He's not very sure how to, but he's had a bit of practice on Sehun a couple times before this. He's not confident in his actions, that's for sure - but Sehun is not complaining. They care about each other so that it doesn't matter if it's a bit awkward at times.

Xiumin raises up a bit to raise Sehun's shirt. Sehun decides that, fuck it, and takes the whole thing off himself, then laying back on the bed on his back, his loose pants on, his dick hard. Xiumin just adores him from head to toes before placing himself between Sehun's legs and starting to kiss on his neck, collar bones, chest, biting his nipples along the way. He hears soft moans from the younger one and that's when he starts rubbing the other one's crotch with his right hand. Sehun bucks up his hips to meet Xiumin's hand.

"Xiumin... Can you... Touch me...?" Sehun asks, his eyes closed. Xiumin looks up at his face with big eyes.

"...You mean like... You know..."

Sehun helps out the situation by lowering his pants. He bites his lips as Xiumin just stares at the unveiling of the red, hard dick.

To be perfectly honest, Xiumin is not quite sure how to do this. He just mentally makes sure that his hands are clean before taking a better position, making sure that it's warm, then gently wrapping it around the younger one's cock. Sehun moans when Xiumin dives back into his neck, kissing him and pinching his nipple with his left hand. The younger one bucks up his hips to pump into the other one's hand and it makes Xiumin want to strip his pants off and just take him here and now. 

But this isn't enough for Sehun. He lowers his hand to touch Xiumin as well, making the other jump at first. He laughs awkwardly.

"I-I didn't mean to scare you..." he apologizes. Xiumin smiles, heaving on top of the younger one. He turns both of them on their sides and takes him into a deep, passionate kiss, with their tongues dancing against each other, teeth clashing while they try to get closer to each other, and their hands going down each other's bodies, rolling and rubbing against each other to release themselves.

The moans and hands pick up the pace while reaching closer to the climax. The heat rises up as well, sweat dripping. Sehun is the first one to cum, shuddering, biting into Xiumin's lip when making a mess on the mattress. Sehun's hand is in Xiumin's pants, rubbing on the hard on, making the older one cum soon after, shivering and gasping, closed eyes, lips parted.

After that they just catch their breaths for a moment before Xiumin, with very dramatic movements, cleans the mess from the mattress.

"Sorry", Sehun mumbles as he lays down on his back, arms behind his neck, legs apart. Xiumin shakes his head.

"Well, I have to wash these sheets anyways", he exclaims with a gentle smile as he takes the used napkins to the garbage can. "Do I have to prepare for the next time?"

"Hmm..." Sehun wonders, smiling sheepishly. "Get us some lube and condoms. I mean, just in case..."

"Better safe than sorry", Xiumin chuckles, walking back to Sehun and landing a kiss on his cheek. "Maybe we should clean up before Wolfgang comes pick you up."

"Yeah. Let's do that", Sehun says as he gets up, but only to wrap his arms around Xiumin and kiss him yet again. Xiumin closes his eyes and wishes it would never end, that he wouldn't have to let Sehun go again. Every moment without him is torture. Every passing day without Sehun... They feel never-ending.

He looks up at Sehun with big, sad eyes and holds onto him with his dear life. Sehun just smile a bit painfully and caresses his cheek.

"I'll come here again next month, remember. Your grandfather will keep you company then", the younger one smiles and boops Xiumin's nose with his finger, chuckling a bit. But Xiumin looks so sad and pathetic.

"As much as I love being myself now, I can't stop feeling lonely. But even so, with you and grandfather, I feel less lonely than ever before", Xiumin confesses. Sehun looks sad when continuing to caress his face, apologetic. "And... I miss my little siblings. They mean the world to me."

"...Of course. Your family still means everything to you", Sehun says a bit painfully.

"...My little siblings. Who knows, maybe they're like me in some way and have the same feelings as I do." Xiumin now looks down. Sehun places a kiss on his forehead and keeps hugging him tight. Xiumin covers his head in the younger one's neck, breathing in his scent. He just wishes that this moment never ended.

***

It's time for Sehun to leave Xiumin and Old Wolf again. This time Wolfgang came there on time and not too early. 

And this time, Sehun turns to Xiumin to give him a kiss before walking to the cab waiting outside the cabin. The wolf smiles widely, totally in love with how the other one walks away, swinging his ass from side to side. Sehun still turns to look at Xiumin over his shoulder, the lynx-wolf smiling and waving at him. Old Wolf is nowhere near them.

Sehun sits down at the front seat, still feeling Xiumin's look burning on him. Wolfgang stares before himself, utterly done with life. Sehun fastens his seat belt and Wolfgang drives away as quickly as he can.

The music is blasting inside the cab. The punk that makes no sense. Sehun once met those guys. They're on Wolfgang's list. The older fox grips the steering wheel tightly, again looking so angry. Sehun looks at him with a worried look, the high from Xiumin's touch dropping down in an instant.

"Does he even have a big dick?" Wolfgang asks. Sehun didn't expect to hear that. He just looks at the other fox with a hurt look on his face. "That's all you care about anyway, isn't it?"

"I'm not with him for his dick. I'm sure I'd get any guy's dick back at the city", Sehun huffs and looks outside the window. Wolfgang won't get over this. He talks about it when they're coming here and when they're leaving here.

"What are you then? In love with him?"

Sehun stays quiet and just looks down. He wouldn't call it love just yet, but maybe... Maybe it's heading in that direction? He wants to be around Xiumin all the time, and Xiumin feels the same way... He just wants to be with him all the time.

"Unbelievable. That is the sickest and most disgusting relationship that I have ever seen", Wolfgang exclaims, sounding disgusted and stressed out. Sehun bites his own lips, feeling anger about Wolfgang's words. "And you know, I've seen some shit. But you... You commit into this relationship with a beast that is eventually going to rip your throat off? He's going to kill you! He is a beast who can't control himself! I cannot stand the fact that you're willingly committing to a relationship that can be all sunshine and rainbows, until that one time that he transforms and becomes a huge beast that can and will eat your insides! I just don't understand you!"

Sehun stays silent for a while. Wolfgang has a point, but Sehun is more than sure about what he wants from his and Xiumin's relationship. He is sure he knows Xiumin. He is sure about everything that he is doing with the lynx-wolf, the big bad wolf.

"You know, I saw him. In his great, scary, beast form", he says quietly. Wolfgang looks at him with shock. "He didn't hurt me. I laid myself against him and we slept outside. In the morning when I woke up, he was back to his normal self, naked, against me, cold, vulnerable."

Wolfgang shakes his head and looks back to the road, "How much does he grow bigger during full moon? I bet his dick becomes gigantic too... Ah, now I understand your relationship. You are in it for the dick after all. I bet no canine has dick as big as the big bad wolf."

Sehun feels infuriated. He clenches his fists and grits his teeth.

"Is this how you see me? Is this how you saw me when we were together? A filthy slut with no other meaning than to please men? You treat me like you treat the women in your life. I bet you slut-shame them all the time. I bet you're a sexist motherfucker like the rest of them."

That made Wolfgang silent. Sehun is kind of proud of himself. Xiumin might have the title of the big bad wolf, but the shit that Sehun gets to hear every time he's with someone makes the little lynx-wolf seem like the softest puppy on earth.

"...I'm not sexist... And I guess that I'm sorry..."

Sehun guesses he hit the soft spot. Wolfgang doesn't like to be accused of things like that. He might be one of the most privileged foxes in the whole clan, being delta and everything, but he also has a clear perspective of who he is. Being a bigot is not something that he is, and Sehun knew that. Maybe, just maybe, Wolfgang is just really worried over the younger fox.

***

At home Sehun walks up the stairs. The house is almost empty. There's just a couple guards who immediately lock Sehun in his room. He sighs and falls on the bed, thinking about Xiumin and the things they went through this week. Xiumin is his life at the moment.

The curtains are open and the sun shines right on the bed. Sehun doesn't bother to close them as he turns on his side, takes a pillow in his arms and hugs it tight, hoping it was Xiumin. The sheets smell like his father. Was he here? Probably... But they also smell like something else. Something... old. Like 20-year-old wine.

The white fox falls asleep for a couple hours, until he wakes up to noises from downstairs. He blinks his eyes a couple times tiredly, not sure of what century it is. His head feels heavy as he raises up to sit and look around the room, only to be annoyed that he didn't close the curtains. The noises downstairs sound like someone was throwing things. He hears a glass - or a mirror - break, and after that there's silence for a while.

Getting up from the bed is a task of its own, but Sehun beats it. He walks to the door to knock on it and a guard opens it, a worried look on his face. Sehun holds his head and looks at the guard with red eyes, asking to let him see what's wrong, and the guard lets him. 

The stairs squeak as he walks downstairs. The plant next to the door is knocked down and the dirt is sprawled on the floor. The mirror in the hallway is shattered and a couple of the shards look bloody. Sehun follows the noises to the kitchen where's plates and glasses broken on the ground, the finest china fragmented into unfitting pieces.

Sehun stares at his father with horror as the man cries and shivers uncontrollably with a wine glass in his hand. He takes another sip of his drink and leans on the counter, sobbing like the world was ending. A guard stands in the corner of the room, making sure that Junghoon doesn't hurt himself or his son. Though he seemed to be too late because Junghoon's right hand is all bloody. It looks painful.

"Daddy", Sehun calls out with a soft yet raspy voice, rubbing his eye. Junghoon becomes silent immediately. It isn't manly to cry. Sehun wasn't sure if his father was drunk or if he was just about to get drunk. But the wine in the kitchen had the same kind of scent as the one in his bed.

They stand there in silence for a while. Junghoon doesn't dare to raise his head. Sehun doesn't dare to look away. The guard seems alert, like he was ready to stop Junghoon if he moved an inch.

"...Where have you been, Sehun?"

Sehun gulps, "At a friend. Out of town."

"...But who is your friend? What's his name? What's he like? Are you... safe?" he wonders, sounding angry and worried at the same time. Sehun doesn't want to answer the questions. He wants to tell his father that he's falling in love, but he can't. He can't tell Junghoon that he is with an outlaw.

"Since when do you care what my friends are like and how they make me feel? I thought you just wanted to keep me away from everybody."

"I want to meet your friend. I need to know that you're safe", the father states, now turning to his son. But he almost falls to the floor. His whole face is red and eyes puffy, lip still quivering as he raises his head to meet his son's gaze. Sehun just stands there and stares. It's been a while since Junghoon has been drinking...

"...Why? Dad, I'm sure I'm safer there than I am in this city. He lives on the countryside, nobody knows me there. He lives in the middle of the woods with his grandfather, nobody ever goes there."

Junghoon turns back to the counter and takes a deep breath to try to calm himself down, though the alcohol has taken the best of him. Sehun shifts uncomfortably.

"...You could be sure of anything. You trust too easily. Naive, young boy... You don't know what the world is like..."

"Then tell me", Sehun suggests, walking closer to his father whose head hangs lower. Sehun shivers and his whole body is taken by worry, seeing his father in this state. "Tell me what the world is like, dad."

"...The world is full of liars and bad people... Don't trust anyone, okay?"

"What about you? Can I trust you?"

Junghoon raises his head to look at his son again. The tears roll down his cheeks as he sees his son's worried face. 

"...I don't know. I thought I did the right thing when I locked you up. I should have given you up for adoption on the countryside... Maybe we wouldn't have met each other by now, but at least you could've been be happy. At least have friends over there and see the outside world without the fear that somebody's going to... hurt you..."

"Dad, that's not true", Sehun responds with determination. He's about to fall apart but won't let it show now. He's been crying with his father too much in the past months. "I'd still be gay. That's not safe in this whole clan. And both of us know what it's like at the countryside. They can barely afford to eat. My life would have been an endless fight for survival."

The father lets out a huff and closes his eyes for a moment to think about what to reply to that one. Sehun doesn't hesitate to hug him, however. He just pulls his father in a tight hug and leans his head on his shoulder. Junghoon is half a head taller than him... May be because of the status difference. Or because Sehun is much like his mother. 

Junghoon takes his glass and sips his drink again. He doesn't reply to the hug in any way. He just drinks some more. Sehun sniffs his father's light blue dress shirt. It smells like wine... and something... someone. Like another fox.

"I'll be in my office the whole night. If you have something urgent, just come find me. I've decided to keep your room unlocked from now on, since it doesn't stop you anyway..." Junghoon sighs and breaks the hug, turning to the counter and taking his wine bottle. He takes it in his hurt, bloody hand and doesn't show any sign on pain. Sehun just stares at him pathetically. Why is his father ignoring him like this? And why isn't he happy that his father has finally given him the freedom to roam around the house freely? Even when his father isn't home?

Why doesn't it... feel like anything?

Junghoon walks towards his office with the wine bottle and glass. Sehun still has some things he wants to talk about with his father, he especially wants to show his concern.

"Dad", he tries to call for the older one who doesn't seem to care about him at all. He throws the door close and starts 'working' with a deep sigh and tears cascading down his face. 


	21. Stomach It

The air is chilly. The sun is up, afternoon. The nature smells pure. The forest dense, trees hiding the view as the wolf runs through them, dodging them with precise movements. He knows the whole forest like his own pockets.

The deer - not hybrid - runs for its dear life, but the wolf is slowly catching up to it, with a smaller lynx running right behind him. The chase has been going on for a good fifteen minutes, but the deer is still running. The wolf cannot call for backup, the other wolves would steal the meat for themselves.

This deer would be just for the two of them. The lynx-wolf has never been hunting, and this is the first time his grandfather is showing him how to do it. The lynx-wolf wouldn't call this hunting, though. More like playing with food. What are they going to do next, catch the deer and scream, "Tag!" so the deer turns around and it's their turn to run away?

Enough games, Xiumin decides. He runs before his grandfather and catches up to the deer, jumping on it and biting its' neck. He may be a rookie, but his animal senses are kicking in. Plus he's done this unconsciously, in his wolf-form.

The old wolf runs to the lynx-wolf, exhausted. He huffs as he stares at the lynx biting the deer's neck until the animal dies, letting out its' final huff of breath and pathetic cries. Xiumin feels horrible for doing this to an innocent animal, but at least it wasn't hybrid.

The two drag the dead deer to the cabin in the woods. They leave it outside, though. Old Wolf transforms back to his human-like form and pants. He's getting too old for this kind of thing. Xiumin turns too. They walk inside to dress themselves in proper clothing without a word. They don't really have anything to say to each other. Xiumin's just worried about his grandfather's health, of course. The old wolf isn't called Old Wolf for no reason. 

They go back outside to look at the dead, smelling creature. It makes Xiumin kind of nauseous, but the most nauseating part is that his face is covered in the creature's blood. It's a good thing it's legal to hunt wild non-hybrid animals. 

"You're ruthless", Old Wolf pants, trying to catch his breath. "I'm getting too old for this."

"You could've just stayed here. How long has it been since you last hunted anyway?"

"...Let's just say it's been a while", the older one grunts and walks to the deer with a cutter.

"What are you gonna do now?"

"...Obviously I'm going to salvage everything that's eatable out of it." And that's when he chops the deer's head off. Xiumin turns away and almost throws up. Just almost. He just liked the hunting part, this salvaging part isn't that interesting, nor easy for stomach. He feels vomit creeping up to his mouth when he hears his grandfather chopping the deer. It sounds all mushy.

He didn't have any problem killing it, but eating it? Ew. 

"Ugh. That's disgusting."

"If you're going to live in the woods alone like me, you have to learn how to manage by yourself. Truth be told son, I'm old, and I'm not gonna live much longer. Maybe a few more years."

"But I've lived here only for four months. I have plenty of time to learn."

"Except that you've got a boyfriend and two whole clans to avoid", Old Wolf reminds, glancing behind himself. Xiumin is not going to look his way even by accident. "And the whole full moon thing."

"Yeah but... We have plenty of time, still", he tries, but the old wolf sighs deeply. Xiumin feels chills down his spine when he hears the deer's bones cracking in the grandfather's arms. That sound brutal.

He can't help it, the vomit raises in his mouth and his throat burns. It comes so suddenly, the brown liquid with small pieces of half-melted meat. Seeing that his vomit has pieces of meat in it make Xiumin throw up even more while the old wolf laughs at him.

"...I'm gonna go vegan", Xiumin suggests, but his grandfather starts laughing even louder. It's weird. That man rarely laughs. Hell he doesn't even smile. He usually just grunts approvingly or disapprovingly.

The old wolf changes the subject altogether when he asks, "Have you thought what you're going to do with your boyfriend? Where is your relationship headed, exactly?"

Xiumin takes a moment to wonder. Of course it would be great to live here with Sehun for the rest of their lives - okay, maybe not the rest, but a long while until things are settled and his wolf is tamed. To be perfectly honest, he didn't know where the relationship was headed, he just wanted to be with Sehun. To hold him in his arms and sniff his scent, listen to him and be listened and cared about...

But what about the future? Xiumin has been caught up in the moment. There really was no future that he could see for the two of them.

"...We'll make it work, somehow."

"...Make it work... Oh, how many times I've heard that", the old wolf huffs. Xiumin bites his lip irritated. "I don't want to crush your dreams, but he's the wolf clan's most influential fox's son. He's got a protective daddy. You'll get in trouble if you keep seeing him."

Those words were a little hard for Xiumin to comprehend. He evaluated each word as he looked into the horizon, the dense forest. That forest where he helped Sehun to the cabin... The poor thing was so in love that he came all that way just to find the lynx-wolf. Through the cat clan, through his ex-wife... Despite his father's boundaries and rage. 

"...Are you saying I should stop seeing him?" Xiumin utters the question. Just the thought of losing Sehun hurts him. 

"...Whatever he says about the safety, I don't trust him. Look, he's a kid, just like you, and you have the pull for each other. People do crazy things when they're in love. I don't want it to cost you your life", the grandfather hums. "It's... not worth it."

"...What do you mean?" It sounded like the old wolf has some secrets. Xiumin knows his grandfather is secretive, never talking about his past, just talking about his great soup and Xiumin's training and everything that has something to do with everything here and now. Never to the past.

Though that's what they had in common. Xiumin didn't really open up to his grandfather about his past. He wouldn't have to know. All that was needed was this moment, everything before it is... useless. Just forgettable memories about his family and painful memories about the war.

Xiumin wishes that his wolf form could be a forgettable memory. The old wolf sighs deeply yet again, grunts and chops the deer again. Xiumin hears blood and gush of intestines. It makes him want to vomit so bad. The smell is horrifying and he doesn't understand how his grandfather can do that.

"...I mean that... You are my grandson. I thought I was doomed to be without a family for the rest of my life. I mean, I have been, until you showed up."

It sounded like the old wolf was getting all sentimental here. Xiumin doesn't know how to react. So he just stares at the ground and thinks about his words carefully.

***

After a while, after they've salvaged the meat from the deer, they go back inside the cabin. Old Wolf puts some firewood in the fireplace and lights it, Xiumin sitting on the bed and staring at the flames that start devouring the wood slowly. The fire burns in his eyes.

"You said that love shouldn't cost me my life", he says with a deeply thoughtful look on his face. Old Wolf walks to the table, his limbs aching from the activity from before. He's getting too old for this. He stares at the dirty ground and grunts like the old grandpa that he is when he sits down on the chair, now holding his back.

"I'm never gonna run again." Xiumin turns to him and utters a smile that dies quickly. He misses home. The former home... And his siblings. It's been four months and he doesn't have a clue what the others are up to.

The lynx-wolf walks to the nightstand next to the bed and takes two notebooks and a pen from the drawer. It's one of those luxuries that his grandfather had to give him. He had to buy like five of those quires, one for keeping notes about his story, second for brainstorming, third for poems, fourth is his journal and one thick notebook for the actual story. He stares at the covers, this time the small one for notes and the big one for his story.

The Old Wolf stares as Xiumin opens the notebook and writes down the synopsis of his twentieth chapter. His eyes are droopy, but at least he isn't grunting and huffing so loud anymore. It kind of irritates Xiumin when he's like that. It's not like Old Wolf can help it, though.

Xiumin writes down how in this chapter the protagonist runs away from his home, because his family has abandoned him. He was supposed to get married with a girl from other family, but he ran away outside his little community to the city, where he was no one and nobody knew him. Where he felt... free.

"What are you writing?" the grandfather asks out of curiosity. He hasn't had the guts nor the time to ask earlier. At first, Xiumin doesn't even acknowledge the question. He just keep writing, until a few minutes pass by and he realizes that the other wolf said something.

"...A story."

"Yes, but about what?"

"...Shouldn't you be making dinner or something?" It's not that Xiumin doesn't want to talk about it, he's just afraid that his grandfather judges him. Plus, it's not every day that the old wolf is genuinely interested about what he's _creating_. Living all this time alone in the woods must take a toll on his social life and skills.

Old Wolf huffs and rolls his eyes, his brows knitting together as he glares at his grandson. Xiumin blankly stares at him.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. Shouldn't you be making dinner or something..." he echoes the words, murmuring them out loud and looking back at the ground.

"...It's about this one guy", Xiumin starts, gaining Old Wolf's full attention. "He lives in a close-minded community where he's forced to follow his father's footsteps, taking his company, and marry the daughter of his mother's friend. They're both freaks and nobody wants them, so that's why they're forced together... But he wants to fulfill his dreams of becoming a great painter and find true love. So... he runs away."

Xiumin's cheeks are flushed red. His head feels hot when telling his story to the old wolf. He's waiting for the older one to laugh, but to his surprise, he hears just silence. He doesn't dare to look at the judgmental wolf, however. He's sure that Old Wolf is judging him so hard and ready to say how bad and cliche it sounds.

"Interesting", the old wolf exclaims, making Xiumin actually more nervous than before. His grandfather is... interested in his story? "What happens after he's ran away?"

"I... don't know exactly what happens next", Xiumin confesses. They stay silent for a while, Old Wolf brainstorming for his grandson and the latter hoping that his grandfather wouldn't call it a piece of garbage.

"...Maybe he could meet a boy. A boy who's been locked up his entire life and wants to annoy his overprotective father by doing illegal things like drugs and stealing. And hooking up with men. That's what his father really dislikes", the old wolf suggests. Xiumin looks at him eyes as wide as plates. He didn't know that his grandfather had that in his sleeve.

Xiumin proceeds to write it down immediately. The pen dances on the paper that tremors violently, only supported by the lynx-wolf's thigh and hand. Old Wolf listens to the pen's rustle with peace. It's music to his ears in the silence. Xiumin has a sparkle in his eye, he's never gotten help with the plot before.

"...You are completely oblivious, aren't you?" the old wolf suddenly throws in the air, making the lynx-wolf accidentally lose his line and make a stroke on the other letters on the paper. He slowly raises his head to blink a few times, confused. Old Wolf grins. "You're writing a story about you and your boyfriend."

Xiumin lowers his head.

How hasn't he seen it before? The protagonist is obviously him. And Old Wolf just suggested that he should make the protagonist meet Sehun! 

"...You need to buy me a new notebook."

"Hey, I'm sure it's a good story", Old Wolf laughs and stands up, proceeding to make his famous soup. "Writing your experiences down in the form of fiction can be a powerful tool of coping with what you've gone through. It amazes me that you haven't lost your mind already."

Xiumin stares at his grandfather silently, blinking again slowly. How come that old grumpy wolf had actually something wise to say? 

How he's kept his sanity is a mystery to him as well. How the ghosts of the people he's killed haven't made him collapse already. Old Wolf can feel his pain. He's killed and hurt a lot of hybrids during the clan wars. He was untamed as well, but he was untamed because he had to take part in the war. Every man over the age of 20 had to. 

Xiumin lowers his head and looks down at his notes. Now that he's aware that the character in his story is himself, he doesn't know how to feel.

But he doesn't complain. Just puts his pen against the paper and writes away, while his grandfather starts preparing the meal.


	22. Bear

The sun is setting and the grandfather is tying his grandson to a tree again. Last time the ropes weren't strong enough to hold him down, Old Wolf just has to see about this one and hope that the youngling doesn't kill him and Sehun.

Sehun, again, standing on the porch, stares at his boyfriend. He's shivering, it's getting cold in the evening, though it's the end of spring and summer is right around the corner. Xiumin has his eyes fixed on Sehun and he stares at the latter fondly. It feels unfair that he has to be tied down like a beast, afraid that he might hurt the ones that mean the most to him.

Old Wolf tightens the rope around the lynx-wolf who's already slowly turning. He's only in his underwear so that he wouldn't have to buy new clothes every time he turns. He grows so much bigger that all his clothes rip apart, his muscles growing gigantic, gaining the force of hundreads of hybrids. He's stronger than the untamed ones Old Wolf saw during the clan wars. He is... magnificent.

There's beauty in power. Though Xiumin is only afraid of it and himself.

The transformation is painful, like always. His skin feels like it's stretching off him and his senses are heightened to the degree that it _hurts_ to even see. It hurts to feel, pains to hear. It's pure agony all the way through to the moment that he finally turns back, has a full-on panic attack, then calms down after resting.

The world around him becomes... narrow. Scents are stronger. The scent of Sehun... So sweet and vulnerable. Xiumin knows he could just throw the younger one on the ground and take him right there, but he wasn't that out of it that he would hurt Sehun that way. He couldn't do that. He still cares more about the younger one than his own pain. Besides, it wouldn't satisfy the beast. He would only crave more.

The ropes don't hold him down this time either. He sees and scents the fear coming from Sehun, so he approaches the latter. Sehun's eyes grow bigger and out of fear he takes a step back and lowers his back, his hands on his chest, lips parted as he tries to catch a breath.

Xiumin leans closer. He sniffs Sehun's hair. The scent... it grows stronger. Sehun tremors violently as the beast goes down to sniff his neck. The urge to bite and mark him grows stronger... To the point where Xiumin is so out of it that he finds it hard to control his impulse, he wants to mark Sehun his own. Wolfgang wouldn't dare to mess with him anymore! Wouldn't dare messing with Sehun's feelings again either...

He opens his mouth, ready to bite the fox's neck, but Old Wolf hits Xiumin with a stick and Sehun falls on the ground, covering his head that's pressed against his knees. Xiumin scents the fear stronger, but his attention is now focused to his grandfather who's hitting him with a stick. Why exactly, Xiumin doesn't understand. He approaches the old wolf, sniffing the air to notice that he is slightly afraid as well. He just doesn't show it as much as Sehun.

The growl comes deep from his stomach without a warning. It makes Old Wolf fall on the ground and stare at the beast with wide eyes. Xiumin can sense the fear stronger and his growl fiercer. But why he is growling, he doesn't really understand himself. It just comes from within him.

And it's almost like he was in a trance when he leans towards the scared wolf, ready to tear him apart to assert his dominance and show that this little fox is his.

Just as he's about to bite his grandfather, he catches a new scent. It smells like a bear... Far from here, though.

He turns around and follows the scent into the forest. He hears Old Wolf and Sehun yell after him, but it's like he couldn't hear them at all. He's too busy running towards the scent of the bear.

It's an alpha bear.

Brown bear.

Hostile and aggressive.

It's come here to kill.

Xiumin runs faster. He must eliminate the threat in order to keep Sehun safe. He must protect Sehun.

The trees go by with a flash and he dodges them all with precise movements. He can still hear the two of them yelling after him, and then hearing their footsteps behind him. Why is Sehun so reckless, is all Xiumin can think of. He's here trying to save him from a threat and what's he doing? Following him to the mouth of danger. What a fool.

He reaches the bear, but doesn't slow down for one second. He jumps on the beast and bites its' neck, trying to kill it. The bear roars loud and hits Xiumin so hard that he flies to a tree. He growls back immediately as the bear roars, charging in for attack. Xiumin jumps on the bear and starts biting its' neck again, the bear roaring back in pain and clawing the wolf.

Xiumin starts bleeding, the bear does a lot of damage, even though the two of them are the same size. He is a big, bad wolf.

He hears running steps and the two other canines watch as Dà Huī Láng battles the great bear. The bear throws Xiumin to a tree again, now running towards the canine and biting his neck, making the wolf whimper. As he hears the loud wails, the fox whimpers as well.

Seeing Sehun and smelling his scent gives Xiumin some more push and he pushes the bear off him, now biting its' neck so hard that the blood starts oozing from the wounds. The bear roars and the wolf bites down harder and harder, until the bear can no longer move.

The fresh blood smells like victory. Smells like Sehun's safety. Smells like one less worry in the world... One less threat.

The bear starts slowly turning into his human form. He's a brown-haired young, tall man. He's naked, of course... He slowly closes his eyes as the canines watch, two of them in horror. Xiumin let's the bear's body go.

Then, he runs deeper into the forest. He doesn't smell other dangers, but he has to scout the area, just in case... It wouldn't be good to find out that there's someone in the darkness waiting for them.

***

The cold morning rises. The sun tries to plaster a smile on its' face, but it feels like nothing but a mischievous grin to the lynx who's laying on the cold ground. He's in his animal form, trying to keep himself warm. His fur does keep him warm, but it's sometimes a little bit too hot.

The ground is still moist, the leaves have raindrops on them and the forest is slowly waking up. So is Xiumin. He stretches himself awake. His mouth feels dry and throat aching. Sleeping outside isn't good for his health, yet he's done that countless times because of this transformation.

He follows his nose through the forest to the sauna cabin that's four kilometers away from here. It takes him thirty minutes to walk it in his animal form. The water looks calling at the end of the dock that goes a few meters to the lake. Water ripples and the wind breezes gently. Xiumin feels weirdly peaceful. In the nature and because he feels like he accomplished something. He accomplished... safety. Sehun is now safe.

He turns into his human form and opens the door to the sauna cabin, slowly turning the knob to unveil the sleeping beauty in the bed. Sehun is hugging the blanket that's only covering half of his body, his bare legs and feet peeking under it. He has shaved, is one of the things that catch Xiumin's attention first. He didn't notice if before now, though.

The lynx-wolf closes the door slowly and quietly so the fox wouldn't wake up. The door creaks a bit. Xiumin turns to the fox slowly and approaches him with faint footsteps, just so that the floor boards wouldn't let out a sound - which they do.

Xiumin climbs in bed, taking some of the blanket to cover himself with it, but only to see that Sehun's eyes are wide open and he's staring at Xiumin with wide eyes. The latter looks back with a confused look on his face. Why does Sehun look like he's seen a ghost? 

Just then Xiumin notices what Sehun's staring at. It's his mouth and jaw and chest... All covered in blood. He blinks a few times before starting to apologize.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

Sehun doesn't say anything. He just looks so horrified. Xiumin doesn't know what to do, so he takes the fox's hand in his own. Sehun pulls it away immediately. Xiumin looks up at the other with big and innocent eyes.

"...You... don't remember anything from last night?" Sehun wonders. Xiumin shakes his head.

"No... I don't remember anything..."

Sehun turns to the ceiling and covers his face with his hands, trying to even his breath. Xiumin blinks his eyes a couple times again, innocently. He has no clue what he did, but knowing his past, he can imagine what it's about. 

Sehun sighs deeply before removing his hands from his face. He puts them on his stomach and looks at the ceiling. Xiumin stares at his sharp side profile, that jaw... that's covered with hickeys that Xiumin made just a couple nights back.

"...You were about to bite me... Before Old Wolf stopped you with a stick..."

Hearing those words just make Xiumin flinch. He was about to bite Sehun? But for what reason? There has to be a good reason for that! Xiumin puts his hand on Sehun's hands and just stares at him, hoping to regain some connection. Sehun must be shocked about what happened. But he should have known what he got himself into when he approved dating Xiumin. He should have thought about the possible outcomes! A relationship like this is impossible to be healthy and good. 

Dust flows in the air. It tickles Xiumin's nose. It's itchy. It's also covered in dried blood.

"...You killed a brown bear..."

That Xiumin does not recall at all. Though he can't really be surprised by it. He's killed a bear before, back in November... He couldn't control himself that time either, but he has vague fragments of memories. 

"...You were so calm last month... You were like a totally different wolf yesterday..."

Xiumin tries to come closer to Sehun who now takes a little distance. That feels like a stab in the back. Xiumin looks at Sehun with begging eyes, the fox starting to breathe quicker. His chest raises and falls in a rapid pace. His eyes are shifting, but other than that, he's completely still.

The lynx-wolf can't imagine that he caused this to happen. It's because of him that Sehun is like this now... It's because of his wolf that he can't have anything nice. 

"...I'm sorry... I wasn't being myself... You've heard the stories I've told you. How I killed my father and everything... Always fearing that I hurt the ones I care about..." 

"Maybe I just trusted you too much after what happened last month. I know it's not your fault but..." Sehun starts shivering a little. This time when Xiumin moves closer, he doesn't move away from him, just keeps shivering and avoiding eye contact. He whispers the next words with a dry throat. "...I was so scared..."

Xiumin takes his hand in his, laces their fingers together and tries to calm him down. They've got all these beautiful memories with each other, but this one thing is almost enough to make Sehun lose his trust and his mind. So easily breakable is the mind of a man. 

"...I would never hurt you intentionally, Sehun. I'm... so sorry I scared you yesterday. It just... it wasn't me. I can't even remember. You have to forgive me."

"I don't have to do anything. Maybe Wolfgang was right. You are a monster. And I am afraid of you."

Xiumin lowers his head and bites his lip. He screwed up everything but he doesn't even remember doing so. He wasn't even in control of himself. How could he apologize to Sehun in a way that makes him forgive him? He doesn't want Sehun to be afraid of him, it's the last thing he wants. And damn that Wolfgang. Wolfgang is never right. Sehun can't listen to him.

The lynx-wolf stands up and goes to the other room to wash his face. He sees himself from the reflection of the big bucket of lake water and is horrified of himself. No wonder Sehun's afraid. His whole face and his chest are covered in dried blood. His hands and feet are covered in mud and he resembles a cave man. Once a beast, always a beast.

He takes the smaller bucket in his hand and pours water on himself, until there's no more dirt and blood. He dries himself in the dark brown towel to not ruin the white ones for good. And then he walks back to the other room where Sehun's laying on his side, back facing the door. Xiumin walks back to the bed, right before Sehun who now looks at him from head to toes, evaluating the danger of the situation.

Xiumin scoots close and covers his lower body with the blanket. His hair are wet and one wisp of hair tickles his cheek. Sehun brushes it off.

"...I can't believe that someone as small and kind could also be a gigantic beast", he exclaims. He still looks scared and his hand trembles when he touches Xiumin's face. The latter stares at him with sad eyes. He yearns for Sehun's forgiveness.

"...I understand if you're scared of me now. But it's not like you were unaware of what might happen. I think next time you should stay inside the cabin."

Sehun blinks a few times lazily before scooting closer. He presses his head against Xiumin's chest and listens to his heartbeat, feeling the older one's arms wrapping around him and protecting him from himself.

"...The first time I was sure that you would eat me. Yesterday I trusted too much. Next time, I'll stay inside", Sehun explains. Xiumin doesn't reply anything, just hugs him tighter. Then he falls on his back, forcing Sehun to lay his head on his chest. Sehun wraps his arm around Xiumin's torso and the other one caresses his hair, trying to fall back asleep. He just wants to sleep in the arms of the man he loves. 

The fox falls asleep almost immediately. Xiumin smiles to himself when caressing the other's hair, noticing that he washed them just yesterday. The lake water smelled in the room. The black hair and the towel on the drawer caught the scent.


	23. Is He

"Sehun we need to talk", Junghoon greets his son with a serious look on his face when Sehun steps in their home. He's got his backpack on his back, filled with nothing but clothes and new fond memories of Xiumin. He just blankly stares at his father. It's weird that he's not overreacting like he always is about these things. Well, at least he isn't drinking. "This is the third time you've gone on one of those trips of yours. What exactly are you doing, with whom, and where?"

Sehun walks in the house and leaves his backpack on the floor in the hallway when he's off to the kitchen to make him some snack. It's been hours since he last ate. He was too busy being with Xiumin, he didn't have time for that. Junghoon follows him, takes him by his shoulders and sits him down at the table. Sehun didn't even have time to get him some snack. He stares at his father whose face is too close for comfort. 

"I asked you a question. And I need you to answer", he insists. Sehun sighs and tries to shake him off himself.

"I won't say anything with an empty stomach", he exclaims, making his father sigh deeper and walk to the fridge to throw a meat pie in the microwave. He waits for it to beep and then throws the steaming pie to the table before his son who just look at it sitting there. He didn't want meat pie... He wanted to have some bread. 

Junghoon takes a chair and moves it on front of Sehun to sit before his son. He takes the younger one's hand in his own and makes eye contact that makes Sehun rather uncomfortable. His father is too close again.

Sehun hates these interrogations that his father does sometimes. They make him feel like he's one of the criminals that Junghoon has to grill every now and then. Sure, Sehun's done some illegal things, but it's because of his father that he didn't have to be held accountable. He's always bought the stuff Sehun stole.

"Talk to me. This will be easier for both of us then", the father explains. Sehun looks down. He doesn't really know what to tell his father, what's too much, what's too little. What would satisfy the father's want? "Tell me. Who is it that you're going to and where exactly. What are you doing together?"

Sehun stays silent. He's hesitant to say anything. The guilt crushes him slowly. He already misses Xiumin again. Everybody else is so judgmental... His father and Wolfgang are really the only people that he even talks to aside from Xiumin. The two of them are against everything about Sehun's relationship. He can't tell his father. Xiumin would get in trouble. But he also cannot lie to his father. That will get both of them in trouble. 

"Sehun." The father takes his son's hand in his own and stares at him so intensely that Sehun breaks down under his watchful eyes.

"...He lives on the countryside. We met... months ago, when he was in the city. I... felt the pull stronger than ever before..." Telling only half of the truth isn't lying. He just has to keep Xiumin's name unspoken. Xiumin is wanted in the cat clan, surely his father would be aware of the name. Maybe he had even seen the lynx-wolf's face from the cat clan's police department.

He now looks up at his father hesitantly, scared what the other might say. But to his surprise Junghoon doesn't even bat an eye. He looks genuinely apologetic. Sehun raises an eyebrow. His father isn't mad at him?

"...Feel the pull stronger... You're in love with him, aren't you?" Junghoon looks sad when he utters the words. His stare is so intense that it makes Sehun lower his head and stay silent. The guard in the kitchen is listening to them, but looks like she's just staring at the wall before her. Sehun knows the guards are always listening, but he's learned not to care about them. His father has payed them well to stay silent.

Sehun traces his right hand's index finger on his knee, trying to focus on anything else than what's happening right now. The kitchen window is open and a gentle breeze caresses his face and hair, sending a chill down his spine. The father's stare is burning a hole in him. He kicks some imaginary rocks from the ground before focusing on a tiny cockroach that's crawling on the tiled floor. This place was cleaned just this morning. The maids take care of that stuff.

The maids have been mother substitutes for Sehun. They always calmed him down too, like he was their son - though they had their own sons and daughters at home. Ever since he was a little kid, up to this day. The maids aren't here now, though. Junghoon has told them to not bother them when they're alone, unless he tells them otherwise.

"...I remember feeling the pull stronger. For your mother..." Now the father avoids eye contact just as much as his son. "Believe it or not but I know how you feel."

"You don't know half of it", Sehun grunts. Junghoon takes a firmer hold of his hand. 

"I was once young and in love too. I even crossed the clan borders with and for her. My parents didn't know about it, and once they found out, they were mad at me. They did not accept me and your mother", he tells. This just irritates Sehun. How could his father tells those lies to him? And expect him to believe? What bullshit. Junghoon doesn't know half of what Sehun feels right now, he's sure of it. 

"Are you just trying to make me open up to you by telling me lies about you and mother?" Sehun huffs and glares at his father. But Junghoon looks at him apologetically and sadly. "You don't know anything about how I feel. You have no idea what it feels like."

"Don't have your head up your ass, Sehun", Junghoon changes his tone to serious. "You're not the only one who's had a bit of a clash with parents because of who you love. It's a cliche, even."

"But I am literally the only person with this problem because he-"

He almost went too far with his words there. Almost said that he's the big bad wolf. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to calm down. He knows he's not the only one who has problems with parents not accepting who he loves - most of his friends at school were like him. Now that he remembers his friends from high school, he remembers that he hasn't talked to them in a long, long while. He should go meet them again soon... 

Though it's not easy after the stunt he pulled. Or more like his father did. He was isolated from everyone again after Junghoon found out about the drugs and thievery. So all his friends kind of drifted apart from him. The only one that's stayed is Wolfgang. Whether that's a good or a bad thing is up to the the person looking at the situation. At least Sehun has someone to go to if he runs away.

"Because he... is what?" Junghoon questions. Sehun hunches his back and tries to look small. "...A feline?"

Sehun raises his head quickly. How in the hell could his father even suggest such thing? Sehun shakes his head. Technically Xiumin isn't a feline, cause he's also a canine, but majority of his genes are lynx. But Xiumin doesn't want to be a lynx. He feels like he's a grey wolf, he smells like a grey wolf, he is... a grey wolf.

"...He's not a feline."

"...Is he an outlaw?" Sehun doesn't say anything. "It wouldn't surprise me. He wouldn't be the first one..."

Sehun keeps silent again. That's when Junghoon knows. He sighs deeply. He even saw this coming. Sehun just traces his finger on his knee again and tries to avoid the next questions.

"...What has he done to become a threat to our society?"

Been born, is the true answer here, but Sehun stays quiet. This angers Junghoon who grips his shoulders and starts shaking him. Sehun tries to stay on place but takes the rattle. Doesn't do anything good to fight against his father in this situation. Though he must admit, it makes him want to yell at his father yet again. Their main way of communication is drama.

"I just want to be with him and live like any other couple", Sehun confesses and his father stops shaking him. He takes a deep breath and covers his face with his hands, now leaning on his knees.

"...I know, son."

"He hasn't done anything that he could be held accountable for. He hasn't... He's a warm and loving person..."

Junghoon listens to him sadly. He stands up and leans over to hug his son. Sehun doesn't reply to it, just leans his head on his father's shoulder. He doesn't smell like booze this time, so that's good. Though he can smell it in the kitchen... Of course he's been drinking, his work is stressing him. And Sehun's here, doing nothing but increasing that stress...

"...Dad... What should I do...? I really like him... but we can't be a normal couple..." Sehun sighs. The father pats his back reassuringly. 

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Whatever comes out of that relationship..."

"...His whole bounty is just a huge misunderstanding... He shouldn't be held accountable for the things he's done when he was untamed."

Junghoon pulls out from the hug to hold his son tightly by his shoulders. Sehun looks up at him with big eyes. Junghoon's eyebrows are knitted together and the wrinkles on his forehead make three deep lines. The wrinkles under his eyes are also prominent, dark circles. His eyes are naturally very sad looking, Sehun's seen pictures of his father when he was just a little fox. His eyes looked always the same - sad.

Junghoon's hold tightens, almost hurting Sehun. He lets out a whimper when his father leans closer, gripping tighter.

"Un... tamed?"

Sehun nods a couple of times. Junghoon closes his eyes and huffs.

"...Is he... a veteran?"

"What? No. I'm not dating a grandpa." All the veterans are at least Old Wolf's age. Sehun might like a bit older men, but not _that_ old. 

"Oh thank god", Junghoon praises and takes Sehun back into a tight hug. Sehun raises his arms to return his father's gesture. "But... He must be very unstable if he's not a veteran but has been untamed. You know that only canines who have been abandoned become untamed."

Sehun did not know that, but it's better to know later than never. It sounds sad to him. That abandoned canines become untamed... What if he was just tossed out to the streets? Would he have become untamed? 

"...He's not... unstable... He's just... a bit hurt..." Sehun explains but Junghoon shakes his head. He breaks the hug to look at his son again, now patting his cheek. Sehun doesn't really like this... lack of space between them at the moment. Though he must admit that he would like to do something together with his father. Like watch that movie that they were supposed to a few months ago...

"People like that are unstable, Sehun. And you should not associate yourself with them", Junghoon exclaims, now both his hands on Sehun's face, mushing his cheeks and laughing at how he looks. Sehun's unimpressed. "For real. You have the same kind of heart as your mother. Don't pity everyone. You're going to attract some not very nice people around you. They want to be cared about, and if you give it to them, they will use you."

"Is that what happened to mom when you two met?"

"Aish", Junghoon grunts and tousles Sehun's hair, making the smaller fox laugh at him. "Just eat your damn pie."

Junghoon turns around and walks to the fridge to grab himself a beer. Sehun knows he's about to, he's been drinking a lot lately. 

"Dad", Sehun calls out when he hears the fridge door open. Junghoon hums and turns to him, though Sehun looks at the ground. "Please... Don't... Drink..."

"...I... wasn't going to..." Junghoon exclaims. He looks in the fridge before closing it empty-handed. "I'm just going to my office, then."

He is just about to leave before Sehun's next question stops him right on his tracks. The younger fox raises his head to look at his father.

"...Are you... drinking again... because of me...?" 

"No, no, no, of course not... I'm just a bit stressed about work. You're 20 years old already, I shouldn't be worrying about you anymore. You should be taking care of yourself now."

"Yet I'm still living home. With you. Surrounded by guards", Sehun drops. "What are you afraid of, dad?"

Junghoon smiles a bit uncomfortably before walking to the doorway, holding something behind his back. He had a wine bottle on the kitchen counter, and now it's gone. Sehun doesn't need to think about it more than that.

"I'm not afraid of anything, Sehun. I'm too old to be scared."

Then he just walks away, to his office. Sehun sighs deeply. Dodging the same subject as always.


	24. Bite

The water splashes when Sehun's running steps shake the small wooden dock, making it sink deeper into the water. At the end of the dock he jumps into the cold and clear water. He stays only a couple seconds underwater before kicking himself up. Xiumin patiently waits for Sehun to move aside before he does the same, the sun almost blinding him as he runs to the end of the dock and splashes into the water, hugging his own knees in the air. Then he kicks himself above water and laughs at Sehun who immediately starts splashing the water on him.  
  
"What bad have I done to you?" Xiumin asks while chuckling. His feet barely touch the bottom while Sehun has no trouble standing up. He looks at Xiumin with a smug smirk on his face. Xiumin is determined to wipe it off.

He swims to the fox and starts dragging him towards the dock, Sehun trying to resist but fails to do so. The smaller one is weirdly strong for being so... small. Sehun climbs to the dock, shivering from the cold. Xiumin stares at his bare buttocks as he climbs up. That is some really nice ass, Xiumin must admit.

Sehun sits down at the dock, kicking his feet in the water and disturbing Xiumin as much as possible. The lynx-wolf huffs and gets up to the dock as well. He didn't expect to be skinny dipping with Sehun this week, but summer is young and he wants to enjoy the moment. Some dragonflies flap their wings around the water hays before flying away to the cliffs, on the left of the dock.

Xiumin sits right against Sehun and boops his nose with his finger, making the younger one chuckle.

"Old Wolf's going to be mad at me for making you skip chores", Sehun exclaims. Xiumin doesn't say anything, just stares at Sehun with hazy eyes. He wraps his arm around Sehun's waist and pets his side, adoring the sight before him. Sehun looks down, smiles and moves his head to stare into the horizon, still shivering. Xiumin's skin feels cold but he isn't as cold as Sehun. Though they are both animal hybrids of the north.

Xiumin leans closer to press his lips and nose against Sehun's shoulder, moving his other hand to caress Sehun's thigh. The fox leans his head further away from him when Xiumin kisses up to his neck, forcing Sehun's arm behind his back. He takes Sehun in his arms and gently caresses him and kisses his neck, making Sehun shiver lightly and breathe quicker.

"Xiumin... Wait... We didn't even swim..." Sehun chuckles. Xiumin doesn't even seem to care as he gently nibbles the other's neck, making him giggle lightly. Sehun did come here to swim and not to have a moment with Xiumin. He kicks his feet in the water so no fish come near him. Those things are terrifying.

Sehun playfully pushes Xiumin away from himself before jumping back into the water, not completely used to the cold yet. His teeth clatter and he tries to swim it off. Xiumin rolls his eyes and sighs before jumping in the water as well, swimming to Sehun who starts sprinting away from him, a wide grin plastered on his face. The water hay tickles feet and creeps Sehun the hell out, crawling up his legs to caress his thighs. Xiumin swims faster than him, much to Sehun's surprise.

"Let's swim a little deeper. Then go to sauna", Xiumin suggests when swimming right by Sehun, earning a slap from the latter.

Sehun doesn't say it, but he has something else in store before the sauna... Xiumin can warm him up in different ways.

They swim rather far from the shore. They can see their whole bodies under the water, and probably 4 meters under themselves, but after that, the bottom turns pitch black. It freaks Sehun the hell out. He tries to play it cool, but he clings onto Xiumin like his dear life depended on it. Xiumin notices how scared the other is, laughing at his cuteness.

"Frost Lake really lives up to its' name. It's freezing", Sehun exclaims, his teeth clattering even more. Xiumin looks at him with a pitying look on his face before caressing his cheek, as if that would make him any warmer.

"It's not that cold. Come, let's go a little deeper", Xiumin says as he's already turning around to swim further from the shore. They're already quite far and it terrifies Sehun.

"Wait, Xiumi-" But he has no choice but to follow, since he's too scared to swim back to the shore by himself. He swims as fast as he can, trying his hardest to stay behind Xiumin who's roving like a motorboat.

When Xiumin sees the border of cat clan, he pauses. The lake is no clan's property, but the shores are. Take a step in the wrong beach and boom -  you're dead. He can make out a few small figures that he assumes to be felines. They're across the border. Old Wolf lives quite close to the cat clan and wolf clan's border.

There's two smaller felines and two bigger ones. A family, perhaps. Xiumin smiles at the scene by himself. Sehun swims next to him, huffing, out of breath. He takes a look at where Xiumin's staring at, but doesn't understand the weight of the situation. He just wants to cling onto Xiumin.

"...We should really get back to the shore. Who knows what kind of creatures lurk down there..." Sehun worries. Xiumin lowers his head, turns around and almost starts swimming - Sehun grabs his leg and won't let him move. "Don't you leave me this time."

Xiumin sighs and smiles to him apologetically before going by his side. Then they can swim together back to the dock. Sehun goes first, swaying his tail so Xiumin can _really_ see his backside. That sly fox.

Then Xiumin gets up, looking at Sehun from head to toes. Sehun just smiles widely as he notices this. It's nice to be appreciated. Though he is freezing... He takes a white towel from the dock and hands the other one to Xiumin who starts drying his face immediately. Sehun just hangs it around his hips, Xiumin hanging it on his shoulders.

"Maybe the sauna is warm now", he thinks out loud when starting to walk towards the cabin, Sehun walking right next to him. He takes his hand in his and Xiumin turns his head to smile at him cutely. Their feet become all muddy on the way, but they have basin full of lake water right before the door. They just quickly dip their feet in and then walk inside, turn right and go to the washing room.

Sehun leaves his towel on the door and so does Xiumin. The latter takes a smaller bucket of water and throws it on Sehun. This one is much warmer that in the lake, almost hot even. Sehun covers his head as fast as he can, laughing at the same time. Then Xiumin throws a bucket full of water on himself as well and goes to the sauna to see if it's warm enough yet. The wood is burning in the stove but it's still not quite.

"Nope. Not yet. But soon", Xiumin says when he closes the sauna door and stands before Sehun in the washing room. They just stare at each other for a little while before Sehun puts his arms around Xiumin's neck and smiles gently. Xiumin caresses his sides lovingly, before pushing his body against Sehun's. The younger one smiles wider before leaning down for a kiss.

"Well we have other ways to keep warm, don't we?" Sehun asks after one soft kiss. Xiumin stares up at him with half-lidded eyes before attacking his neck and pushing him against the wall. Sehun shivers a bit from the lips on his neck, the fangs gently grazing over his sensitive skin. If only Xiumin could mark him right here and now...

The lynx-wolf's hands caress the fox's body as he hungrily sucks his neck, hoping to bite him, but keep himself from doing so. It'll get too messy... But Xiumin has been desiring for more sexual activity lately. It's almost like he was in heat, but he's learned to control himself and almost _bury it alive_. It made him so uncomfortable and he didn't want to have any sexual relations with anyone, but now that Sehun's here...

It's a good thing that heat comes only a couple times a year to alphas and couple more times to omegas. Betas don't have a heat at all. Xiumin has always had alpha cycle of heat...

Xiumin lowers his hand to touch Sehun, trace his fingers on the younger one's cock and then take it in his hand and slowly start moving his hand back and forth. Sehun breathes quicker through his mouth, shivering a little.

Xiumin kisses down Sehun's neck, to his chest and takes his nipple in his mouth to twist it with his tongue, earning a soft moan from Sehun. Xiumin goes even further down to kiss Sehun's stomach and finally sit there on his knees, face-to-face with Sehun's cock. He hasn't done this before, but Sehun's done it to him a couple times. Live and learn. He takes the shaft in his hand and the tip in his mouth, slowly taking it in more and more. Sehun stares at him with his mouth open, moaning lightly as he feels the other's tongue graze over his slit and his warm mouth taking it in. And it's been so long since somebody's done it to him - usually he's the one getting it in him in every way.

The lynx-wolf bobs his head back and forth, his other hand around the shaft. He moves his other hand to grab Sehun's hip and keeping him against the wall firmly. The younger one moves his head back and plays with Xiumin's hair gently.

After a while that seems too short for Sehun, the older one gets up on his feet and kisses Sehun, biting his lower lip. Sehun lets out a submissive whimper when the alpha grabs his hips and presses his nails into his skin. They make out for a while before Sehun starts leading the situation again, leading Xiumin to the bedroom. The older one checks him out and licks his lips, eyes half-lidded, mind hazy. They've done this a few times before but this time Xiumin wants something _more_ , something _different_. He wants to mark Sehun, so no matter who Sehun might end up in the future, they would know that there was someone that meant more. If they truly were perfect for each other, the scar would stay and never fade away. The bigger the pull, more prominent the scar.

Sehun jumps on the bed on his back, opening his legs and smiling at his alpha who devours him with his eyes. Xiumin gets the lube from the nightstand drawer and lubes his fingers to push one inside Sehun quick. He might just die from the wait. He throws the bottle on the sheets, he'll need more later. Sehun just breathes deeply and stares at Xiumin who leans closer to kiss his chest, graze his teeth on his skin and gently bite his collar bones. Sehun closes his eyes, his breathing quickens and Xiumin's second finger enters him, now pushing deeper too. Sehun's already quite loose, they've done this a few times this week - lately this has been their main activity. Xiumin has been way too thirsty and keeping his hands off Sehun has proven to be quite the challenge. In fact, he hasn't even tried.

He starts to bite Sehun's collar bones even harder, his fangs pushing through the skin. Sehun flinches and lets out a whimper, lowering his ears in a submissive manner. Xiumin detaches his teeth from the fox's flesh, just to insert them on another part of his body. He kisses Sehun's neck, licking over the spot before gently nibbling on it. It tickles Sehun a little and he lets out a chuckle that turns into a moan as he bucks his hips up to meet Xiumin's fingers against his prostate.

Xiumin moves away from his neck for a while to look at him, starting to press harder against Sehun's prostate when adding a third finger, massaging the spot, making the fox moan louder. Like automatically the younger one moves his hand to his bottom and starts touching himself, hoping for a release. Xiumin caresses Sehun's stomach with his free hand before leaning back to his neck, biting into his flesh brutally. The fox moans and whimpers, tears building up to his eyes as he feels the blood rush down his back and onto the white sheets, just washed. He takes a hold of Xiumin while whining, his body starting to tremor violently before warm liquid pours out onto his stomach. He holds Xiumin with both his hands, letting the tears roll down his cheeks. Xiumin is merciless with this mark, he bites so hard and deep that the scar will never ever disappear.

When he pulls out slowly, he sees Sehun's teary face that is taken over by pain and joy alike. Xiumin's mouth is covered in Sehun's blood and his fangs are dripping with the red substance. The fox pulls him into a deep kiss, never mind that it's his own blood that he's tasting, closing his eyes and moaning into the kiss, his tongue sliding into Xiumin's mouth. The latter had no idea that Sehun would actually enjoy that, he just kind of spontaneously had an urge to mark him. He doesn't say anything back though, just tastes the other's tongue with his own.

Sehun ends the kiss, breathing deeply and looking up at Xiumin's eyes. He looks so peaceful and calm. Xiumin stares back as him as silently. He's rock-hard right now. The fox turns around and lays on his stomach, rolling his knees and arms to his chest. He swings his tail a couple times.

Then he raises his hips and lowers his head more if possible. Xiumin takes a condom from the nightstand drawer and Sehun bites his own lips before taking the lube bottle from the bed and handing it to the lynx-wolf. Xiumin puts the condom on and lubes up when taking his position behind Sehun.

He pushes in slowly so that Sehun wouldn't be hurt. The fox leans on his elbows and closes his eyes with a sigh. He's still trembling and he seems to be careful with his left arm - the side from which Xiumin marked him. The lynx-wolf pushes out and in again with a slow pace so that Sehun can get used to the feeling of him again. It doesn't take very long. He's already pushing his hips back to the other one's to meet his thrusts. Xiumin stops for a moment to lean forward and bite Sehun's back, leaving an oozing wound on his flesh. Sehun cries and moans, whimpering, pushing his hips desperately against Xiumin's. His body tremors violently when Xiumin holds him firmly put.

"X... Xi-Xiumin-" The older one detaches his fangs and raises up to thrust in again, now with a quicker pace. The way Sehun withers under him just makes him want more and more. The younger one grips the bed sheets when Xiumin goes even faster, sweat dripping along his temple with the blood sliding down his chin. Sehun's moans become as regular as Xiumin's movements, sighing every time it massages his prostate.

Xiumin grips Sehun's hips tighter when his thrusts start to become irregular, the heat taking over his whole body as his pants get louder. The release takes him high, he closes his eyes and moans loud when he comes. He still thrusts a few more times so the younger one can get his second release. Thankfully it doesn't take long, since Sehun got so high from all the biting.

They're still at that point - it's quick, messy and a little bit experimental and awkward. But with each other they feel so comfortable that it doesn't matter - they have all the time in the world to figure it out, with a person who's safe and caring.

Xiumin pulls out, takes the condom off and throws it in the trash with a... few other dirty gloves. He falls on his back and breathes deeply, chest heaving. Sehun lays down on his side, staring at Xiumin with half-lidded and watery eyes.

"You... weren't hurt, right?" the lynx-wolf worries. Sehun smiles and shakes his head. "You really seemed to... like that... biting thing..."

Sehun utters a chuckle and scoots a bit closer to play with Xiumin's biceps.

"...Wolves bite", the younger one exclaims. "...The ones they love. They mark them with a bite on the neck... to show others that they're taken..."

Xiumin's eyes widen. He did not know that, it just came naturally for him. His fangs almost ached to bite him.

"Did I just... commit us into something?"

Sehun chuckles and leans on his arm, rubbing his head against him.

"Well it's gonna leave quite a scar. But only wolves acknowledge it, really. The others just... don't care or care to know", Sehun explains. He moves Xiumin's arm so that he's under it and leans on his chest, looking at him in the eyes. His cheek is all mushed against the other's skin. Xiumin runs his fingers through the fox's hair.

"...And you know this because of the wolves you've been with", he figures.

"They tried to mark me sometimes. A couple of them tried, I mean. I smacked them in the face and never talked to them again", Sehun chuckles. He's being awfully affectionate right now. He sighs deeply and circles his finger on Xiumin's chest.

"But you... let me."

"...Do you love me?"

"Of course I do", Xiumin replies immediately, making Sehun just melt. He smiles widely, sniffles a bit and chuckles. Then he raises himself on his elbows to kiss Xiumin's bloody lips, the lynx-wolf's hands wandering down on his body to touch his curves. Sehun deepens the kiss, pushing his body against the other one's.

Xiumin has to end the kiss though. He puts his hand on Sehun's chest and pulls his chin back, looking up at Sehun with a loving look. He raises his hand to caress Sehun's face and wipe away the teardrops that he didn't even seem to notice himself.

"As much as I'd love to continue this, I must go check if the sauna is ready", he says and places a small and quick kiss on Sehun's lips, sitting up and walking to the washing room. Sehun stares at the door to the washing room while gripping the bed sheets that have his blood on them. He raises his knees to his chest and sighs deeply, curling up into a small ball.

When Xiumin comes back, he's greeted by probably the most pathetic scene he's ever witnessed. He walks to the bed, worries about the bloody sheets for a while, before caressing Sehun's hair and sitting on the bed.

"Hey. It's warm now. We should go warm up there." Sehun looks up at him, smiles a little and nods his head. He slowly gets up to sit and Xiumin helps him, but then the younger one just clings onto him and hugs him with his dear life. Xiumin feels awfully icky and sweaty but Sehun's always so affectionate after they have sex - this time he's even more than usual... "Are you alright?"

"Yeah", he says as he leans onto Xiumin's shoulder and closes his eyes. Xiumin turns to him wholly and takes him in his embrace. "Just... promise me that you're not going anywhere."

"...I am going to the sauna. With you", Xiumin chuckles. Sehun sniffles and utters a laughter.

"...I love you", he says with a quiet voice and cries. "...Don't ever leave me..."

Xiumin hugs him tight and shakes his head. Sehun sniffles and slowly removes his hands off Xiumin, drying his tears. He tries to put himself back together, stands up and lends his hand to the lynx-wolf. The latter seems confused by this, but takes his hand and is led by the younger canine into the sauna.

 


	25. Stay Home

Sehun leans his head on Xiumin's shoulder as they sit on the dock with only some shorts on, feet in the water. Sehun still hates fish and he wishes they could stop harassing him. The water hay is even creepier though. It's just tall grass under water that feels like some slimy tentacles trying to pull him down under, into the dark void. But it's a good thing Xiumin's there, next to him, making sure that he's safe. The lynx-wolf is staring into the horizon, stirring his eyes to cover himself from the sun torturing his eyesight. 

He's been a bit too long at Xiumin and his grandfather. He's worried that his father might get worried and do something irrational. But it's Wolfgang's fault for not picking him up... 

A dragonfly flies by. It stays on Sehun's knee for a while, making the fox almost lose his shit. Xiumin smiles at how scared he is of the unharmful insect. 

"It's not gonna bite you. You should be more afraid of me than that bug", he chuckles but Sehun doesn't find it funny one bit. He moves his leg a bit to see that the dragonfly is persistent on sitting its' ass there. He shakes his leg even more, but nothing. Then he shakes _even_ more and the dragonfly flies away, giving Sehun chills.

Xiumin takes a small rock from the dock and throws it into the water. He would like to go swim, but Sehun isn't up for it. So he doesn't go into the water either. They can just enjoy the summer breeze. 

"Do the bite marks hurt anymore?" Xiumin asks worriedly, putting his arm around Sehun's back and kissing his head. Sehun smiles gently to himself.

"A little bit. But they're not constantly hurting, you know... You bit so hard."

"I'm sorry. I won't do that again."

"No no, it must mean that you love me a lot too", Sehun chuckles. Xiumin isn't sure if he should be concerned or relieved. At least Sehun doesn't mind the bites - in fact he seems to quite like them. He looks at them through the mirror all the time, adoring the marks. "No wolf is going to approach me anymore. Aside from you, of course."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Well I won't have to try and find another man if I have you", Sehun exclaims while rubbing his head on Xiumin. The older one smiles to his cuteness. Of course he's the only one for Sehun. 

They hear some footsteps coming from the forest. Sounds more than just Old Wolf. Probably Old Wolf trying to find Xiumin with the mailman or some new hybrid that Old Wolf is helping. Xiumin does have a new letter to his siblings though.

The footsteps get closer, but they don't pay any attention to them. It's just Old Wolf as always. Nobody else ever comes here. Sehun takes Xiumin's hand in his own and closes his eyes, smiling. Xiumin leans his head against the other one's, lacing their fingers together.

But the loud steps that start approaching the dock make Sehun really uncomfortable. That sounds like three people, and none of them walk the way Old Wolf does - he's always limping a little and he's so slow too. The breeze covers the noises a little and so do the reeds. 

When the footsteps start approaching the two on the dock, Sehun has to look behind them.

He almost jumps to the water from both fear and shock. His whole face becomes pale as he looks up at the other canine approaching him with two guards.

"D-d-daddy-" he starts and tries to hide behind Xiumin who, after hearing those words, turns around immediately. Junghoon crosses his arms on his chest. He looks pissed when he kneels before the two, looking at his son with his eyebrows furrowed. Sehun lowers his head and starts to shiver.

"...You forgot to tell me that the guy you're in love with is dà huī láng. You told me his bounty is just a huge misunderstanding..." the father says, now putting his hand on Sehun's shoulder and showing his disappointment. He sighs and shakes his head. Xiumin only stares at Sehun and holds his hand tighter.

"You were once young and in love too. You even crossed the clan borders with and for her", Sehun tries to defend himself by citing his father's words with a whiny voice. 

"Your mother did not want to eat me alive", Junghoon raises his voice, making Sehun whine and lower his head even more. He touches the bite marks on Sehun's back and the younger one could see the fury on his father's face. Slowly he raises his eyes to look at the beast his son's fallen in love with. The beast who did this to his son. Xiumin gulps but tries to act strong and stand his ground. He tries to act like an alpha. "What do you want with my son? Huh? Use him to make you feel good about yourself?"

"I just... I just want to love him", Xiumin confesses but it does not melt the father's heart. He turns back to his son and takes a hold of his hand, making Sehun gasp.

"Get away from him or I'm telling the cat clan where they can find their traitor", Junghoon threatens. Tears well up in Sehun's eyes. He tries to blink them away but he has no choice but to let go of his lover, even though the lynx-wolf tries to hold onto him. Sehun has to let go of his hand, getting his fingers off him one by one. 

Xiumin feels betrayed but he can't do anything about it. Maybe having guards from the cat clan in here isn't the greatest idea - even if it meant losing Sehun for now. The father helps Sehun stand up but the son kicks his hand away. The guards immediately hold him by his arms when the father goes back down to look at Xiumin in the eyes. The lynx-wolf gulps again. Sehun's father really is scary.

Junghoon takes a hold of Xiumin's shoulders and pulls him close to his face, intimidating. Xiumin tried to act like an alpha earlier, but to this guy, he is everything but. The older one looks at him dead in the eye without even blinking.

"You are not touching my son ever again. Understand?" he asks. Xiumin stays silent for a while.

"...But I love him."

"...What if I told you that he's been sleeping with Wolfgang all this time? He's had to do some favors so that sly Fennec fox could bring him here", Junghoon says, but Sehun immediately starts shaking his head.

"No! That's not true!" Sehun defends himself. Xiumin believes him, so he doesn't even look at him. The look on his face just becomes angrier as he glares at the father.

"It is true. Ask Wolfgang", Junghoon says, now looking behind himself. The guards are wearing black clothing, their heads covered with hoods and face covered with a white mask that only shows the eyes. The other guard lowers his hood and mask. He turns to look at Sehun, glaring at him with cold eyes. Sehun's heart just drops. When Wolfgang isn't holding his hand right now, he slaps the older fox as hard as he can. Wolfgang does nothing but turns his head to Junghoon to testify.

"Yeah. We fucked", he exclaims when taking Sehun's arm in his hands and forcing him to stay put. "Every time he came back to the wolf clan, I asked him for payment. He couldn't pay with cash so he paid with his body. We did it in my cab."

With the last sentence he just smiles widely to himself. Sehun tries to kick him. Xiumin stares at all of them alternatively, not sure what to believe. Sehun's had to pay someway, right? He hasn't exactly explained to Xiumin how he pays.

"They're lying! I haven't fucked with Wolfgang since- Well it's been a while and you know that! They're just trying to make you hate me!" Sehun cries, trying his hardest to wiggle his way out of this situation. Xiumin turns back to look at Junghoon firmly.

"I don't believe you. I trust Sehun. He's the only one who's not actively trying to murder me", he snaps back and Junghoon looks at the ground disappointed. He shakes his head and tsks. 

"Well then. Then I have no other choice but to do this", he exclaims as he grips Xiumin's shoulder tighter and punches him in the face. Sehun gasps. He stares at the scene dumbfounded. Wolfgang is just smiling devilishly as the lynx-wolf falls a bit back. His lip bleeds but other than that he's nothing but surprised by the punch.

Junghoon hits him again, this time harder. It will give Xiumin a black eye. 

"Dad, stop!" Sehun begs. Junghoon hits again, even harder, this time letting go of Xiumin so that he almost falls into the water. This only makes Junghoon more creative. He forces the lynx-wolf on the deck fully so that he can push him on his stomach and hold his head just above the water.

Wolfgang bites his fist, his eyes wide open as plates, Sehun crying so much he can't even look at what's happening anymore. Junghoon has his one knee on Xiumin's back, the younger one's hands under his chest, as Junghoon is holding him from his hair and holding his head just above the water. His nose touches the surface. He starts trembling from fear. The weight of the situation has just dawned to him.

"No, don't! Dad, stop it! You have to stop! Please!" Sehun pleads, his words so mumbled that it's hard to understand them. He's crying his heart out, tears just dripping on the wooden dock. He tries to break free from the guards but to no avail.

Then Junghoon holds the lynx-wolf's hair tighter and forces his face underwater. Xiumin panics and tries to pull himself back up, but quickly realizes that that will only waste more of his breath. So he decides to keep as still as possible. He can hear Sehun's cries clearly.

Junghoon pulls him back up. Xiumin gasps for air, fear taking over his whole body as he feels tears welling up in his eyes.

"Will you stay away from my son?" Junghoon asks firmly. Xiumin takes a moment to just breathe.

"...No", he utters a choked answer. Junghoon sighs deeply when pushing Xiumin's head back under water, earning a series of complains and I-hate-you's from his son. He doesn't seem to pay any attention to them though. The scariest thing about this has to be that Junghoon doesn't seem like he's new to this. It scares the crap out of both Sehun and Wolfgang - and Xiumin, of course.

"You can't do this to him! You can't do this to me! You can't just kill him!" Sehun screams. Junghoon pulls Xiumin back up, this time the lynx-wolf crying his heart out. Not only because of the fear of dying, but because of the thought of losing Sehun.

Junghoon turns to look at his son. He has a dead serious but also worried look on his face. His heart seems to melt when he sees his crying son.

"I'll do whatever you tell me to", Sehun whines and trembles. His whole face is red and soaked with tears. "I'll do anything. I'll be good. I'll study and become a lawyer like you if you want me to. I'll even clean the house if it comes down to that. Just please... don't hurt him..."

For a moment there Junghoon just stares at Sehun with an apologetic look on his face. Then he turns to the man who's crying into the water, trying his hardest to keep his nose from touching the surface. He takes a moment to evaluate the situation.

"...Do you... agree to not see my son... ever... again?" Junghoon asks from Xiumin, slowly. The latter takes a moment before nodding quickly. 

"...I-I won't see him a-again", he cries. Sehun stomps the ground with his feet.

"Xiumin... You can't say that...! I thought you loved me..." he cries, still trying to break free. Wolfgang and the other guard hold him tight though.

"...I-I do love you", Xiumin stutters. "...But I just don't want you to get hurt because of me. And I don't... want to die."

Sehun becomes totally limb and the guards have to practically drag him off the dock. Junghoon stares at Xiumin for a while and the lynx-wolf only fears another trip down under.

"...If you say you can't control yourself during full moon and you go on these killing sprees, I believe you. When you say you become an untamed wolf during full moon, I believe you", he exclaims, but then he leans closer to whisper. "...But when I say that I am concerned about my son's safety and well-being, you have to believe me too. We both know it's better like this."

With those words he just stands up and leaves the lynx-wolf there to lay and cry. Xiumin grips the edge of the dock and stares into the water. The clear water with a dark bottom.

Junghoon walks into the sauna cabin to get all of Sehun's stuff while the guards walk him to the car at the cabin where Old Wolf is anxiously waiting. The father takes Sehun's backpack that he always has with him and starts snooping around. He's bought every single cloth on his son, he knows which ones are his.

The lube bottle and the blood stains on the bed make him uncomfortable. And the trash makes him even more uncomfortable and he feels horrible for breaking his son's privacy, but it's for his own good. Who knows where or how Sehun might end up if Junghoon wasn't there to save him.

The father even checks out the sauna. Some of their clothes are drying there. After he's done packing, he just takes the backpack on his back and walks outside to see the lynx-wolf still sitting at the dock, hugging his knees. Looking so much lonelier. 

Maybe Xiumin doesn't deserve the shit that's being poured on him. Or maybe he's just a random guy Junghoon shouldn't pay attention to. He'll be safe here in the woods, alone with his grandfather. He'll be just fine.

Junghoon goes back to the cabin where the guards are stuffing Sehun inside the cab. Junghoon has to do it himself. He knows how to handle his son. Okay, not really, he just takes him in his arms and sits down, pulling his son in, hitting the latter's head on the car ceiling and making him cry even more if possible. Of course he's trying to break out immediately, so Junghoon has to keep him put until the other guard and Wolfgang get inside and they're on the go.

Wolfgang puts on some music. This time rather light rock that hopefully lifts up the mood. It'll be an uncomfortable ride. Junghoon opens Sehun's backpack and lends him a shirt. The younger one doesn't even take it. He looks outside and turns his nose, his lip quivering and every now and then he sniffles. He can't breathe through his nose anymore. The trees flash by, making Sehun nauseous. Yet still he insists looking outside rather than his father.

"Put a shirt on. I don't want you to get cold."

"It's not cold", Sehun replies snarkily. Junghoon sighs.

"You told me you would be good if I let him go. So put on a shirt."

"You were about to kill him. What could I have said if not those words? What would've made you stop?"

Junghoon sighs deeply and grabs his son's knee, trying to make Sehun look at him, but to no avail. Sehun's eyes are glued to the window. 

"I know you think I am a horrible person right now. But I am trying to think about your well-being. I am trying to be a good father to you, and I am doing everything I can to protect you."

"I don't need your protection!" Sehun snaps, finally turning to his father. His black hair is covering his face and some of the strands glue to his tear-stained cheeks. Junghoon is taken aback by this. He just nods and lends the shirt to the other one again, reaching his hand to touch Sehun's cheek. The younger one slaps his hand off immediately. "I don't need you anymore."

"You're just saying that because you're angry. I get it. I would be too if I were you. But now is not-"

"Stop trying to understand how I feel", Sehun cuts him off and looks at him dead in the eye before turning back to the window. "Because you can't."

Junghoon sighs deeply. He leans back against the seat and looks outside from the front window, rubbing his forehead and listening to the music. Wolfgang turns the volume a little bit higher.

"We're going to have to talk when we're home, okay?" Junghoon asks but doesn't know if his son heard him.

The drive home is painfully long, awkward, the only noise being the humming of the engine, Sehun's sobbing and the loud music. Once they reach the foxes' mansion, Sehun storms outside and runs straight to his room. Junghoon gives Wolfgang the money and the other guard also takes off. Wolfgang is off to his own home alone, as always. 

The female guard follows Junghoon inside and accompanies him upstairs. Before Sehun's door, he tells her to stay outside. This is only between him and his son. The guard nods and stays on guard outside the door.

Junghoon steps inside his son's room and watches sadly how the other has crawled into a ball and hugs himself, crying against his pillow. He's grabbing the blanket and hugging it tightly. Junghoon walks to the edge of the bed and sits down, eyeing his son from head to toes. The small fox doesn't even try to stop crying. He's not even sure if his father's angry at him or what. But he is trembling.

"Look... I'm sorry about what happened there, but I needed to get you to safety. If we're being really honest here, I thought that the big bad wolf himself would be much scarier. I... went too far. But I just needed to know that he's not seeing you anymore. And if he is, he will be dead. Not by me, but by the authorities of the cat clan", Junghoon explains. That does not make Sehun feel any better.

"J-just tell me the truth. Why can't I, an adult, leave the house without you walking on my tail? I just want to be free", Sehun cries and hugs the blanket tighter.

"You want the truth?" Junghoon asks and Sehun nods rapidly. He takes a deep sigh and a better position to reveal the secret he's been hiding for all these years. Sehun tries to quiet down his sobs. This is the big reveal he's been waiting for all his life. "...Okay. I'll give you the truth."

His voice is shaking. Like he was afraid of the truth himself. Sehun looks at his father over his shoulder and they make eye contact for a brief moment before the uncomfortable old man looks away.

"Your mother... She... was killed. You knew that by now, right?"

"You've mentioned it."

"...The true story about how I met your mother is... rather complicated. We weren't supposed to be together, but if you love, you can't help it. Trust me, I know how you feel", Junghoon exclaims, now looking at his son again. Sehun looks unimpressed like always when his father talks about this stuff. His eyes are half-lidded and red from all the crying. Overall, he is a mess.

"You told me that you met at work. That she was your co-worker until she stopped going to work and... became a mother full-time", Sehun recalls. Junghoon smiles painfully.

"That's... pretty far from the truth. We did meet in work circumstances. Because of my work, to be exact. I was... on a trip to another clan. I had to meet this one political party in the cat clan and discuss about our clan barriers because there was a pack of wolves who often crossed the border. Obviously it wasn't a very wise move for those wolves, all of them ended up getting in prison..." he tells, staring at the dust that's floating in the air. His voice is shaking and his body trembles. Sehun can see that he's nervous.

"And...? What happened then? Where did you meet mom?"

"...After the meeting, I stopped by some junk food kiosk. That's where... I met your mother."

Sehun lets out a chuckle, "So you came back to the wolf clan and mom worked at a junk food kiosk? What's the big deal?"

"I didn't say..." Junghoon starts, now looking at his son dead serious, his voice shaking even more. His knee starts shaking too. "...That I got back to the wolf clan."

"...But that's impossible, why would a fox be working in a junk food kiosk in the cat clan?"

"You really don't get it, do you?" Junghoon asks, looking as sad as he can. Sehun has a hard time connecting all the dots. "It's no wonder you feel so connected to Xiumin. He is like you. The only difference being that... him being only partially wolf has given him lots of trouble, whereas you being half a fox has never been an issue."

Sehun sits up. His eyes almost pop out of his head as he looks at his father who stares at the ground intently.

"Aside from the part where... your mother was murdered..." he murmurs.

"W-w-what do you mean half a fox? What's my other half?" Sehun panics.

"Your mother is a snow leopard."

Sehun takes a moment to just stare at his father. He can't breathe. Everything about his life has been a lie. 

"Th... This isn't funny, dad", the son worries, now covering his mouth. Junghoon shakes his head and sighs deeply, ashamed of himself.

"Wish I could joke about this. But no. The men who killed your mother were highly against our relationship. Who could blame them... All the clans are hostile against each other", he exclaims. Sehun shakes his head. He can't believe it. Can't believe that his father would have lied to him all this time. What was he even thinking? What did he gain by keeping Sehun in the dark?

"Why didn't you tell me before? I had no clue. You lied to me... for years!"

"I didn't want you to be afraid every time you walk out the house... I didn't want you to be afraid... like me..." the father confesses, earning no sympathy from his son. Sehun turns around and stares at the wall. All this time, he's been lying. Everything that he thought he knew about his mother is just a blur. "...You're safe in this room. And those men won't kill you here. Only over my dead body would I let something happen to you."

"Dad... Please... Go away..." Sehun sobs, now hugging his blanket again and drying his tears to them. Junghoon stands up but walks to the other side of the bed to give Sehun a few napkins.

"I'm... just downstairs... if you want to talk..."

"...I got nothing to say to you..." Sehun cries and doesn't even take the napkins. The father awkwardly leaves them right next to him and takes a final glimpse of his son before walking out, just to hear Sehun starting to throw things around the room.

At least Sehun now knows why Xiumin's scent was so much stronger than the other ones. At least he now knows why his father has been keeping him in his room for all his life. But why didn't he tell him sooner? He's been an adult for over a year now, he should start learning how to live his own life and move out. 

But now that he knows that behind these walls linger men who want to kill him, he's not so sure he wants out anymore.


	26. Nobody Knows

After the cab takes off, Xiumin walks back to the cabin where Old Wolf is almost having a panic attack. He's packing a backpack for the two of them. Xiumin drags his feet on the ground as he makes his way to the cabin to find his grandfather in the middle of packing. He just stares at the old man dumbfounded.

"Come, help me pack. We don't have much time."

Maybe he doesn't see Xiumin's teary face. He doesn't have any energy left in him, so he drags himself to the bed and sits down, sniffling. The old wolf stops packing for a moment to just stare at his broken grandson. The lynx-wolf sniffles and dries his tears with the back of his hand, looking at the ground. It looks dirty. The three were definitely in the house before coming to the dock. Did Old Wolf tell them where they were? He must have... He betrayed Xiumin.

"I know that it was his father who took him away. But we don't have much time. If you want to stay alive, you must pack with me and we have to go. Right now", he explains and hits Xiumin's leg, encouraging him to get a move on. Xiumin glares at him.

"You told them where we were. How else could they have found us?"

"I told you, I will tell you when we're on the road", Old Wolf exclaims when he packs with a quicker speed, then zipping the backpack and handing it to Xiumin. That's when they hear a car driving to the front yard. "Shit. You must go immediately."

Xiumin takes the backpack and looks at his grandfather like he was crazy. Which he probably is. But a car driving to the yard is not a good sign. The lynx-wolf tries not to let his grandfather's panic take over him as well, but he's starting to shake. The grandfather pushes him to the back door when they hear somebody opening the car doors. 

"Go. Run to the forest. And... don't come back. They're looking for you", Old Wolf whispers, opens the door for Xiumin and pushes him outside. Xiumin just stands there for a moment, staring at the door, before he hears somebody knock on the door and yell.

_"Cat clan PD, open up!"_

Xiumin's whole body gets stiff for a moment before he starts to run into the forest aimlessly. Then he hears the front door crash down and he runs faster.

Didn't Sehun's father say that he wouldn't call the cat clan police on him if they stopped seeing each other? Then how could they have found him?

Xiumin's visions blurs as he hears the back door open. He's already far away from it, but when he looks behind himself, he sees a jaguar police officer starting to dash to him. Xiumin has no other choice but to throw away the backpack and transform into his small lynx form. He's much faster that way, but there's no way he'll get away from a jaguar. He must be more creative.

But at the moment, he lets the adrenaline carry him forward, hoping to get away from the jaguar in his lynx form, maybe lose her. When he looks behind himself, however, the jaguar is also in her animal form, running with a speed that catches up to Xiumin in no time. She jumps on the lynx and bites his neck to make him stop moving as the other officer runs to them. Xiumin and the jaguar turn back to their human forms and the other officer handcuffs Xiumin.

"You are under arrest for numerous murders in the cat clan territory. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law", the officer says. They get Xiumin's clothes and force him to put them on and the jaguar officer does the same. Then they walk back to the cabin and into the police car, forcing the lynx-wolf in.

Old Wolf runs outside to see his grandson defeated. He seems to be in pain. Xiumin stares back at him with big eyes. The bite the jaguar gave him on his neck hurts like hell. 

"Who told you I was here?" Xiumin asks. The puma officer starts the car and brushes off the questions, leaving the jaguar to answer.

"Sorry, but we don't know either. The police captain informed us. We're just doing our job", she tells him. Xiumin sighs and looks at the ground defeated.

"Are you really dà huī láng? I was really expecting someone a bit... bigger", the puma wonders, making Xiumin uncomfortable.

"No. You've got the wrong guy. My name is Xiumin", he tries, but it makes the officers eye at him.

"He matches the picture. He's our guy", the jaguar insists. The puma shakes his head.

"But our guy's name is Minseok Lynx", he thinks.

"Why are you so naive? Why the hell would an outlaw use his real name?" the jaguar asks and rolls her eyes. She seems to be more experienced than her partner. "Did you even have a proper education for this job?"

"No, I'm usually giving tickets. I'm no detective", the puma whines. Xiumin stares out the window and wonders what happened to Sehun. And what will happen to him when he's back at the cat clan... Could he see his little siblings again? It's been so long. Irene must be worried. And Chanyeol, how does he live without his big brother? Or Kyungsoo? They must be exhausted about their mother.

"Excuse me but... What's going to happen to me once we get to the cat clan?" Xiumin wonders. The jaguar turns to look at him. She eyes him from head to toes, her brown hair landing on her face. She looks a bit like Biyu. Xiumin had almost totally forgot about her. Just for that moment, he remembers how kind Biyu had been. Still is. She even helped Sehun to him.

"They told us that you will be executed. But we won't let the people know or otherwise they want it public, and you know that we don't do that kind of stuff."

Xiumin's mouth and stomach drop. He will be executed? Over the things that he had no control over? Tears well up in his eyes and everything gets blurry. Everything feels unreal. He needs to blink away the tears to not seem weak in front of the officers.

Future from now on looks very dark. And caged.

"...How long do I have left?" his voice shakes when he asks. There's no empathy in her green eyes. She's cold. Probably because she sees him as a criminal and she's been doing this for quite some time, Xiumin figures. Her eyes seem like a dark void, ready to succumb him. Only the engine hums. The road is bumpy. It'll take a few hours before they're back in downtown.

"I'd say a month. That's the standard for people like you."

"For... people like me? What does that mean?"

"You're charged for numerous murders and treason. Go figure", the jaguar exclaims and turns to look at the road ahead. Xiumin lowers his head. The handcuffs hurt his wrists. The jaguar officer takes a while to just breathe before she continues. "I must admit that you're awfully polite for someone who's been doing this for a long time. Usually if I have to chase someone and they see me naked, they have something to say."

"Well I don't have anything to say to you", Xiumin states and tries to shake his hands off the cuffs, but to no avail. The officers glance at him but they don't seem to pay any more attention. Usual criminal behavior, Xiumin figures.

He sits back at the seat, feeling defeated and exhausted. He stares at his hands and keeps pulling the handcuffs apart, as if that would release him. There's no escape from here. No escape than the memories of Sehun this morning, when he laid in bed and smiled so that his eyes completely disappeared. So overjoyed. How could one day turn everything to this trip to death, where the lynx-wolf is making his way to the cat clan to be executed in one of the execution chambers, muscle-relaxing drugs injected into his arm that finally make his heart stop beating. At least it won't be painful. At least he had Sehun for a while.

The gravel on the road hits the steel of the car, making high and deafening noises. At least it's somewhat quiet aside from that and the engine and the wheels that take them forward. The clouds become darker and darker the closer they are to the cat clan. The once home and now a prison.

And to think that he's been charged for treason! He hasn't done anything, it was his father, his grandmother, that bitch who kept the baby even though the father was a wolf! She is the one that needs to be charged, not him!

Though she is already dead, and so is her son. Maybe the responsibility of making an end to this is on Xiumin's shoulders. Even if it meant saying goodbye to everything.

"Can I... see my family?" Xiumin asks with a quiet voice, almost inaudible. The jaguar turns to look at her partner, but he's focused on the road. Probably didn't even hear him.

"Sure... If they want to see you", the jaguar snorts. "It's their call, not yours."

Of course. Everything in Xiumin's life is always decided by other people, especially his family. Especially his mother. Can't even see his little siblings because of her.

***

The edge of the clan, the countryside, looks always so much calmer than the city. Xiumin lived in the suburban area. The farmers often moved to the edge of the suburb and bought a piece of land on the countryside so they could take care of their family as well as the farm. The drive to work was long, but it was worth it in the end when their kids went to school and made a lot of friends. Healthcare in the countryside wasn't so great either. All the possibilities in the city... 

Seeing a police car in the rural area is like seeing an alien life form. It never happens. The kids are complete rascals, underage kids driving mopeds and cars that wouldn't pass the vehicle inspection. The police officers decided to turn a blind eye to this for now. 

Xiumin isn't too fond of seeing his old home. The police officers drive right past it, letting Xiumin look at the old red house and filling him with melancholy. He can see his mother in the window... for a moment there he thinks that their eyes meet. But that's just his imagination. Seeing her son would probably make her faint as well.

Oh and he has to see his ex-wife's father. How exciting! Maybe he'll come visit personally and they'll have a little chat about how he ruined everything. Xiumin can't wait for that.

And even if he wants to see his family, he's not sure if he wants to see his mother. She's been nothing but a horrible to him all his life. 

The police officers finally reach the precinct and drag Xiumin out the car. This place is new to him. It's big, spacious and filled with felines in uniforms. Most of them don't even seem to pay much attention to the three, just let them walk through and throw him in the small jail. The place looks grey and boring, it's cold, everything's depressing. There's some drunk guy in the jail cell next to him. He's laying on the floor and mumbling something.

"Okay. You won't go to court. You're going straight to the prison once we get the transportation order", the jaguar officer tells Xiumin, locking the cell door behind him. They make a brief eye contact when Xiumin turns to look at her with big, sad eyes. "You'll be rotting in here for three days at most. If you're lucky, you're going to the prison tomorrow."

"Where is this prison?" Xiumin has to ask. He's starting to accept his fate, though it doesn't feel very safe inside this cage. Unsafe for the whole precinct. When the full moon comes, he's going to break out, that's for sure.

"It's a couple kilometers away from here."

Oh, Xiumin knows the place couple kilometers away from here. He's heard stories about what kind of monstrosities happen in the underground cells, the ones in isolation. The cells have only one bed and a toilet, you're isolated from everything.

Xiumin sits down on the bed in the cell and drops his head in his hands, staring at the ground. How did it all come to this... 

"Psst", a woman in the cell next to him tries to catch his attention. He turns to look at her slowly. He doesn't even care what kind of woman this is, it doesn't matter anymore. She walks closer to him, right to the edge of her own cell. "You going to the prison? I'm going there too. They said I'm gonna get my own isolation chamber."

Xiumin just utters a faint smile and then turns back to stare at the floor. He doesn't feel like talking either.

"What about you? Are you going with the herd or are you going to the isolation, too? I heard that most people who get in there will be executed." Her words make Xiumin really uneasy. He doesn't want to think about his execution. She doesn't seem to have a problem with her own, however.

"...I'll be dead in a month", he says with a small voice. The woman utters a laughter. Her voice is husky and rough, like someone who's been smoking for years, probably decades. She's not too young.

"What did you do?" she asks, making Xiumin turn to her. All emotion and color has now left his face. He looks at the woman with a glare that sends shivers down her spine. "I can tell you too. I killed my husband... And my children."

Her smile is purely psychotic. This is the kind of people he's associated with? Psychopaths who kill their own families? But when the psychopath hears what he's done, she's going to fear him like the rest of them.

"I'm dà huī láng." 

Her eyes widen and she takes steps back until she bumps to the other end of the cell, back against the bars. Her eyes are filled with terror and she has the same kind of scent. Xiumin can smell it. It feeds the wolf inside him.

"Don't... don't hurt me", she pants. Xiumin turns to look at the ground again and sighs. Everybody is afraid of him now that they know him. Many know him by the name Minseok, know him by the name dà huī láng, but nobody knows him like Sehun does, nobody knows him as a person. Nobody knows him as Xiumin.


	27. Leopard

The fox knocks on his own door from the inside, getting one of the guards to open it for him. It's been three weeks since Sehun last saw Xiumin, three weeks since he last took a step outside his room. Getting over him has been the hardest task in Sehun's life, and in fact it hasn't been particularly successful. Last night he saw a dream where he met Xiumin in his wolf form and they ran through the forest into a magical place where nobody could hurt them. They were at the end of the journey.

Sehun takes the guard by hand and drags him in, closing the door behind him. Then he pulls the guard into a kiss, pushing him against the wall. And the guard doesn't seem to be against it. He accepts Sehun's kiss, maybe unsure what to do in this situation, maybe unsure if this belongs into his job description. However he kisses back, but he kisses softly. Sehun isn't in for the softness, he wants it rough, he wants to feel something else than the pain inside his heart. He wants to think about something else than the lynx-wolf.

The guard pulls back, pushing Sehun away from him.

"...I'm sorry, Sehun, I don't think we should-"

"Shh", Sehun hushes when putting a finger on the other one's lips and draping his arm around his neck. "We don't need to say anything. We don't need to think."

He says those words while his finger pressed on his lips, slowly closing his eyes as he approaches the other's face. He pulls the guard back into a kiss and the latter obliges, letting Sehun lead him into bed. The fox rolls the coyote on himself and kisses him intently, starting to buck his hips up to grind against the other's pelvis. He has his hand strictly behind the guard's neck, keeping him still. The guard isn't fighting it, he pushes his hips against Sehun's and moans slightly into his mouth, now pulling back to catch his breath for a second. Sehun flashes a smile before reaching to his nightstand drawer, pulling it open to reveal a tightly packed condom and a bottle of lubricant.

The guard's eyes widen when he sees the objects in Sehun's hands. He throws them on the bed and leans up towards the guard's face, now the latter taking a little bit of distance. Sehun doesn't seem to care, he rips open the button-up shirt of the guard and exposes his muscular chest, running his hand over the perfectly defined pectoral. The training is tense, but Sehun wonders why the guard was so easy to seduce - do they not teach them how to say no to a man who wants a piece of them? 

Well, it doesn't matter because the guard seems to be into it. He now kisses Sehun back quickly, kissing down his jaw and his neck, making the fox - or leopard? Sehun is not sure who is - moan softly. He lowers his hand to touch the guard's bulge to find out that he's getting hard. Good. Sehun feels accomplished.

But just before they get to do anything fun, the door slams wide open and the guard jumps off Sehun as fast as any frightened animal. He jumps up and starts buttoning his shirt, his hair landing on his face as he raises his hand to start explaining himself. Sehun isn't very amused by any of this.

"I-I can explain-" he starts but gets cut off by Junghoon who starts screaming at him immediately, the father's face red and his voice flaming with rage.

"Who the hell do you think you are, laying your fingers on my son?! Didn't your mother teach you anything?! Did they teach you anything at the _guard training_?! I thought it would be obvious that you don't just bang your client's child!" Junghoon huffs like an angry dragon ready to spit fire. The guard immediately starts bowing and saying that none of this would happen again, and Junghoon kindly screams to him that he's fired.

The now ex-guard runs out of the room, his face red from embarrassment. The fox on the bed just looks at his fingernails. They're getting too long. The older fox starts walking back and forth at the end of the bed, holding his head and mumbling something to himself. He doesn't seem to be going away. Sehun sighs deeply and raises his head to look up at the ceiling to see the familiar crack in the white wood. He could hear his father's teeth gritting.

"You're so irresponsible! I should have realized that you would do something like this..." Junghoon worries. Sehun keeps silent. "You do just about anything just to get my attention, don't you?"

"I didn't do it for you, dad. Me and him are two consenting adults. We can do what we want", Sehun explains, looking anywhere but his father. Tears already start brimming in his eyes again. It's still too soon. He needs something to do before he makes the mistake to remember again.

"No. You can't. Because he works for me, and I need to talk to you about something. Downstairs. Dinner. Right now", the father says and rushes out the room, leaving the younger fox on the bed. Sehun closes his eyes for a moment before getting up, the bed creaking as he moves. His father would definitely have heard if his timing wasn't on point. Though he would have thought twice about coming into Sehun's room without knocking. 

The stairs creak even worse than the bed as he follows his father downstairs, the older fox sitting at the dining table in the spacious dining room and not in their kitchen. Seems a little too fancy for Sehun. The table is glass and surrounded by eight dark wooden chairs, two chairs at the ends and three on both sides.

Sehun sits down on his familiar seat next to his father at the end of the table as the maids bring them plates of potatoes, pork and vegetables. The other maid pours wine into Junghoon's glass and the man throws it down his throat with one single gulp in a blink of an eye, and the maid has to fill it again. Sehun looks down at his food as the other maid pours him a glass of milk. He hates milk. His father still can't get that right and force the maids to give it to him. He just stares at it silently.

Junghoon flails the maids away and the two young women do as he tells. Sehun plays with his food rather than eats it, just gently poking around the potato and the vegetables. He feels his father's stare burn on his skin before the old man opens his mouth to say yet another word that would crumble Sehun's world for the nth time.

"You can't... spend the rest of your life... with the man you're in love with. Because he is... in prison", Junghoon starts, making Sehun freeze completely. He raises his head to look up at his father. His whole world stops but the father looks strict. "In the cat clan. He has a death sentence."

For a brief moment Sehun's eyes go black and his head feels light, legs go numb. He tries to look for something to say, opening his mouth and closing it again, now looking away from his father. His whole world starts spinning and all color vanishes from his face. Junghoon's expression stays strict.

"...H-h-how-" his words are like whispers. "...could you...?"

"I couldn't. And I didn't", Junghoon exclaims and now finishes another drink of wine. The maid left a bottle to the table so the father can treat himself another drink. He'll probably finish it before the two of them leave the table. 

Sehun looks at him in disbelief. "Who else could have done it? Don't lie to me." His voice is choked in his throat and his eyes get red and teary. It feels like a pair of hands wrapped around his neck and started strangling him. All footing is gone and he's falling to a dark pit with no end.

Junghoon grunts something and takes another drink. He can take so much without the alcohol having barely any effect on him. Unlike Sehun who's drunk after one shot. Their eyes don't meet. 

"It was Wolfgang", the father says with a silent voice, knowing how betrayed Sehun feels. The son falls back on the chair and pinches his nose bridge, tears now starting to run down his cheeks as a single sob escapes his lips. The father drinks again. And again. And fills the glass again. 

Sehun should have known it. Wolfgang would do something as crazy as that just for the sake of getting rid of Xiumin, to have Sehun all to himself. Well he's not having the arctic fox. Wolfgang is the last person Sehun could think about being with anymore. Wolfgang wanted to have him? Too bad, he should have known that by killing the man Sehun loves, he's only going to make the latter hate him. 

He thinks back to those moments when he was in Wolfgang's apartment, in the other one's bed. Wolfgang was drunk and so was Sehun, the older fox drinking a bottle of whiskey only in his underwear and an opened blue flannel. His tail swayed in the air as he drank more, looking down at the younger fox with a sly smirk on his lips. What happened after that is a blur, but Sehun remembers that he was happy, he thought he was in love, and he thought that Wolfgang was the one. 

But the delta was and still is nothing but a selfish fox in his drug-filled world.

"...I have been looking for someone to protect you. A wife, in fact", Junghoon starts, making Sehun all the more anxious. The son now drops his head in his hands and start to sob loudly. "Her name is Jenna. She's a nice red fox beta."

Junghoon leans closer and lands his hand on Sehun's shoulder, trying to comfort him. Sehun tries to push him away and takes some distance.

"I know you don't want this. But I need you safe and I'm sorry, but men... I can't trust you to a man."

Sehun slaps his hand off himself and runs to the front door. He tosses it open and rushes outside, past the guards who are not alert enough to catch him. Junghoon runs after him to the porch. The sun is still up but not for long, it wouldn't be safe for Sehun to be out on his own. There is nobody outside the house, the dogs are already in their own houses, the nice dog lady next door witnessing the young fox's runaway again. 

The guards try to catch the little runaway, but fail to do so yet again as Sehun transforms into his fox form. In a blink of an eye there's nothing but a bundle of clothes on the pavement and a small white fox scuttles away from the fabrics, letting out noises that are like huffing or crying. He doesn't look back, just runs to the other side of the road of the fancy suburb and out from the safe place, downtown, letting his father yell his name for nothing. This time he's not coming back.

Sehun runs through the city to the other end, the slum, the place where all the gangs and the junkies dwell. It doesn't take him long to do so. And it doesn't take him long to find Wolfgang's house. The older fox's scent is strong and takes over Sehun's body, this time for the worst. 

The young fox transforms into his hybrid form, walks up the two steps that lead to Wolfgang's porch and knocks on the door, naked. The small shack is in a small suburban area, rows of houses dotting each side of the road. The neighborhood is quiet during day, but nighttime it's noisy. Gunshots everywhere, screaming, someone begging for their life. It's not that time of the night yet. There's only a few gangsters who walk by Wolfgang's house, checking out Sehun's naked butt and laughing at him. Sehun doesn't pay any attention to them.

The lands are small and most of them have trash outside. Even Wolfgang's small hut has a broken TV and a cardboard box full of plastic bottles, old clothes, electronics and paper standing next to the door. At the end of the dusty grey porch is a small round table with an ashtray on it and a wooden, self-made stool standing next to it.

Sehun can smell the type of mold that's living in the walls and ceiling of the old shack. He can't fathom why he once wanted to spend time here. Now this whole place just reminds him of broken dreams.

Wolfgang steps outside, and when he sees his ex naked, his eyes widen and his ears pop up. Sehun can't tell if he's happy or surprised, but the older one's hands reach the other fox's face and start drying his tears. Sehun immediately starts sobbing and invites himself in.

The shack has only two rooms. Left to the door is the kitchen with a small round table, just like outside, that has two chairs around it. On the right is the bed and a TV as well as a drawer where Wolfgang keeps his clothes. Right before the door is the bathroom. The walls are covered with disgusting green wallpaper and the flooring is wooden grey, rotting. Soon this whole place would just fall apart. Every surface of the room is filled with beer cans, MDMA pill bottles and weed bongs and blunts and...

The scent of all those drugs fill his head and it starts to hurt his head. He would sit down if he wasn't afraid of getting infected with something. Wolfgang hasn't probably changed his sheets in a year, they are brown-grey. The smell of all this makes Sehun dizzy, but it also gives him so many flashbacks. He used to _like_ this smell. What the hell was wrong with him?

He massages his temples as Wolfgang touches his arm, ready to help Sehun get comfortable in his home again. 

"Sehun... Why are you here? Why are you crying?" he asks with such a sweet voice that almost sounds like he cares.

"...Y-you... How could you...?" Sehun cries and pushes Wolfgang away. The latter holds his chest, hurt. He looks down at the ground with a knowing look on his face. Sehun sobs louder and starts pushing Wolfgang until his back is right against the bathroom door that seems like it could fall just from this.

"...He... He belongs in prison, Sehun. Nobody can help him. He is a monster", Wolfgang exclaims. That just makes Sehun grab his collar and hit him against the door. "You of all people should know that."

"He's... he's like me!" Sehun defends his lover. He closes his eyes and starts hitting Wolfgang repeatedly against the door. And the other fox lets him. "...He is partly canine, partly feline, just like I am... You don't get it!"

Wolfgang grabs Sehun's hands and pushes him away from himself, the other taking a few steps back and almost reeling to the floor. The floor boards creak as he does so, it feels like they bend under his feet.

"...Partly canine... Partly feline..." Wolfgang echoes. "...Like... you? Sehun... have you lost your mind?" His eyes look genuinely apologetic as Sehun sobs louder and shakes his head.

"...Dad told me... My mother was a leopard..." he cries. That makes Wolfgang's eyes wide and take Sehun by the shoulders. 

"...Oh... Oh god... Are you sure you weren't dreaming?"

"Yes! I would definitely not dream of something like that!" Sehun's words are barely understandable from the amount of tears he sheds. He looks at the other one whose eyes are full of worry. His big ears are back because of the noise Sehun keeps making. "You must take me to the cat clan. I must see him. I must help him out before he'll be executed."

"...You are completely bonkers, Sehun. I can't let you do that. Go home. Do it for your father", he says, voice full of worry. Sehun thumps his foot on the floor and pushes Wolfgang's chest again. 

"My dad is the one who's crazy! He kept this from me for so long and now he's forcing me to marry a girl I don't even know!" The younger fox shuts his eyes tightly and pulls his ears down, hurting himself physically to not feel so much pain on the inside. He wails desperately and his voice becomes high-pitched and whiny. "You never let me be myself. You just want me to be someone who obeys everything you tell me to do."

Sehun pushes Wolfgang away with such force that finally breaks the bathroom door as Wolfgang's back hits it, the door detaches from its' hinges and falls with the fox, making his landing more than unpleasant, letting out a huge cracking noise as it hits the floor. The wooden door is in two pieces when Wolfgang lands on it, making him groan about his back. 

"...Sometimes... You really should listen to people..." he whines as he arches his back and tries the sore part with his hand. 

"I don't have to listen to you, you egoistic, self-centered, fucking retarded junkie!" Sehun huffs and walks to the door, throws it open so hard that the door breaks down too. As it slams the fridge next to the door, it completely falls from its' hinges. Sehun quickly takes it in his hands and throws it on the floor behind himself, not looking back at Wolfgang who's cursing on the bathroom floor. 

The young fox turns back into his animal form and starts running as fast as he can. A group of gangsters starts following him, three of them behind the small white fox. They all hove motorcycles that speed up rather quick. Adrenaline takes over Sehun's body and he speeds up until he runs past the motel that Xiumin stayed in when he was here in the city. Here where he found out how horrible the wolf clan is.

The streetlights keep Sehun some company as the sun goes down. The night is young, but old enough for rapists, murderers and gangsters to start their day. The motorcycles roar like lions and the noises come closer, Sehun's body is exhausted from running so fast all this way. His speed starts dropping and one of the motorcycles speeds up before him, blocking his way. He tries to dodge the motorcycle, but the man gets up and catches him by the nose so he can't bite him. He can't even breathe when the man holds his mouth and snout so tightly shut, so he has no choice but to transform into his hybrid form. 

The gangster throws him on the ground and kicks him once, the two others joining him. One of them is a woman, one is a man and one of them Sehun can't really tell. He tries to claw himself out of this situation when the man holds him by the wrists. Sehun's whole body goes into shock and he can't move. This isn't the first time this happens to him, but every time someone has conveniently saves him - that someone most often being one of his father's guards or Wolfgang. 

The gangster woman ties Sehun's hands with rope, the man covers his mouth with a cloth and ties it around his head and once they're done, the androgynous... man? Lifts him in his arms and takes to his motorcycle on the backseat. The leather doesn't feel nice against his naked body. The androgynous man throws Sehun's arms over his torso so that he's hugging this stranger gang member.

Just before he's about to lose all hope, a car drives before them and prevents them from leaving the parking lot. Sehun would notice that cab in his sleep. The small Fennec fox stands out of the cab and looks at the three gang members with an arrogant look on his face, only glancing at Sehun. He has his cold and sarcastic demeanor on again. 

"Look... I know that you still haven't lost your virginity, Bert, but you know that rushing into it with a stranger is never a good idea", he seems to be talking to the androgynous man who Sehun is sitting with. He has a playful tone in his voice and his big ears waver in the air. The gangsters huff.

"Quit the act, Wolfie", the woman starts with a rather deep voice. "We're not here to lose Bert's virginity. He'll die before that happens." She starts laughing, now making Bert glare at her. Wolfgang starts laughing as well.

"Then what are you doing with the handsome fella there?" he asks, pointing at Sehun. For the first time in so long, Sehun feels great seeing Wolfgang. The gangster man takes a better position and wraps his arms on his chest.

"We saw him on your porch. Obviously we're taking him as captive to demand ransom from your little fox gang", he states, making Wolfgang shakes his head and pinch his nose bridge. 

"Ah, you wolves. You're always so... unobservant. Do you even know who he is? Did you not even notice that he is an arctic fox?" he wonders when he looks up at the gangsters whose faces are now pale. "His daddy is _the_ Junghoon Arctic Fox."

When the androgynous man hears this, he immediately opens the rope from Sehun's hands, steps off the motorcycle and helps Sehun off the vehicle. The fox takes the cloth from his mouth himself, now looking at Wolfgang with a frown.

The gangsters let their engines roar before they're on the road again. Wolfgang walks over to Sehun who's already making his way to the edge of the city, to go to the countryside. Wolfgang stops him on his tracks by taking his hand in his.

"Your father is looking for you. I saw a bunch of Junghoon's guards roaming around the streets", he says. Sehun glances at him.

"So... What are you gonna do? Take me to him?" he asks with a mocking tone, trying to twist his wrist away from him. Wolfgang shakes his head.

"I wouldn't do such thing. I... can't tell you what to do", he starts. Sehun isn't impressed by this, his mouth forms a thin line. "And I cannot expect you to forgive me for what I did to Xiumin."

"...Then what do you want?" Sehun asks, hissing. He grits his teeth together, so done with Wolfgang. The latter sighs.

"...I want you... to be safe", Wolfgang explains, now taking Sehun into a hug and kissing his shoulder. That's how much shorter he is. Sehun doesn't even budge, but the noise that Wolfgang's lips leave when they part from his skin does make him flinch.

"And I want you to leave me alone."

Wolfgang takes some distance, nodding excessively and walking to his car backwards. Sehun doesn't dare to look at him, but Wolfgang's mouth is in a thin line.

"...If I kill myself, it's all your fault", Sehun states and now glares at Wolfgang. The latter looks up at him, his eyes getting red. Sehun's face is red, covered with tears and he shivers slightly as the wind caresses his bare skin. 

Wolfgang doesn't have time to say anything before Sehun transforms into his animal form and starts running away as fast as he can. It won't take him long until he reaches the edge of the city and enters the countryside. 

***

The morning is dawning. Sehun has been on the run the whole night. He wasn't sure of the way, but he didn't have a choice. He couldn't stay in the wolf clan, where the traitors lay. Wolfgang and Junghoon... Both of them have lost Sehun's trust forever.

Right now the white little fox is sitting before the white mansion that Xiumin used to live in. He has no idea when the parents leave and if they leave together with their daughter. One things was for sure: the parents cannot see him like this.

After a while of observing, the fox notices that the father walks to his car with a briefcase. He has a suit and a badge on his chest. His car is black and seems like the newest model, newest model in the cat clan... Something like that is impossible to even make in the wolf clan. 

Just then the daughter walks out the door and starts locking it. The father drives out the yard. Now is Sehun's time. He jogs to the red car that he remembers to be the daughter's and sits right before the driver's seat. The snow leopard walks to her car and as she sees the small white fox, he lets out a shriek so horrible that it could only belong to a fox.

Her face drops, she takes the fox in her arms and runs inside the house immediately, almost tripping on the stairs with her red boots. She seems to like the color red. Inside the house she drops the fox on the ground and he transforms back into his hybrid form, bare and vulnerable, his face red and dirty. She keeps her eyes on his face strictly.

"I need your help, Biyu", he says with a whiny and tired voice. Her jaw is dropped and eyes wide as plates.

"You... came here... all the way from the wolf clan?" He nods. Her voice is tense. "Are you crazy? My parents could have seen you! _Anyone_ could have seen you!"

"But they didn't. You must help me..." he begs, but his world starts spinning. And before he has a chance to do something about it, he passes out on the floor.

***

The walls are calming ocean blue and the ceiling white. The sheets are white as well, but the walls remind Sehun that he's not in his own room. There's an alarm clock on the nightstand next to him. It's five in the evening. How much did he sleep? 

He tries to get up, only to find out that his head is aching and stomach growling. It's been so long since he last ate and the lack of food or water is making him nauseous. There's a glass of water on the nightstand and he downs it as fast as his father downs wine. 

The room is pretty empty. There's nothing but the bed, nightstands on either sides of it with table lamps, a desk and a chair right before the window on the left. They're all dark wood and the curtains are pastel blue... It looks like this place hasn't been used in a while. Sehun is still naked under the covers but Biyu has kindly left him some spare clothes. His father's, probably. He takes the black boxer briefs, black college pants and white t-shirt as well as grey socks and wonders how conveniently same-sized they are. The pants are only slightly too short.

Just then the door opens. Biyu steps in quickly and locks the door behind her just as fast. She stays there against the door for a while, cursing to herself. Her naturally long, white hair seems like it's been taken care of poorly. So does everything else about her too, really. Her face looks stressed, the circles under her eyes are dark and her overall demeanor just seems exhausted. 

"Biyu", Sehun whines. That makes the woman jump up, turn to look at him and sigh from relief. Her whole upper body just flops. She walks to the bed and sits next to Sehun, not even flashing him a smile. Sehun has a feeling that she doesn't want him to be here at all.

"Why the hell are you here? Is Minseok lost again? Well it's none of my damn problem. Knowing him has given me nothing but trouble", she huffs. Sehun's lip quivers just by the mere mention of Xiumin's name, even his dead name. He looks down at his lap and plays with his fingers, tugging the blanket back on himself as his stomach growls and makes him nauseous.

"...Xiumin is not lost. He's just... in prison", he says with a silent voice that Biyu barely even heard. She sighs deeply.

"...And he is in here? In prison?" she wonders, now pinching her nose bridge and looking down. Then she starts massaging her temples. "That's a lost cause. He will be executed. No authority has even mentioned that they've caught dà huī láng, not even my father, and he's the head of the police department. Maybe it's better that way. I don't want to see him and remember the things we went through."

"...But... But I want to see him..."

"Do you still _like him a lot_?" Biyu asks sarcastically, remembering the last time they saw each other. Sehun huffs and fidgets his sleeves uncomfortably. They make eye contact and Sehun tries to look as pathetic as he can, his eyes getting red now. Of course it was risky to come here and of course he is still scared to death, but if Xiumin will be dead in a week and this is his only chance of seeing him ever again, he must do it.

"...For the last... five...? Six...? Months... I've visited him and his grandfather in the woods. Every month for a week. And I... just... can't live without him... He's the only person who's ever listened to me, he's the only person who's ever made me feel this calm and I... I've never felt so... attached", Sehun explains right before he breaks into tears and hides his face in his hands. Biyu sighs deeply and pats the fox's back.

"Are you trying to tell me that you love him?" she wonders. He nods rapidly. "Oh... Uhm... You never told me your name."

"...S-s-sorry... I'm Sehun... Arctic Fox... My father is Junghoon... I don't know if you know him..." he sobs. Her eyes widen.

"I've heard of him."

Sehun sniffles and lowers his hands from his face, "You have?"

"He's helped my father catch... Uhm... People who aren't respecting the clan borders", she tries to sound considerate in some way. It's weird since she's been very cold to Sehun before. Her words are cold, but her actions aren't. She's a snow leopard. Sehun wonders if they could be related. "How do you know me anyway? Has Minseok talked about me?"

"He's mentioned you... But I know you because of the cab driver who took Xiumin to the wolf clan. And I kind of used to date that delta..."

"Wow. A delta. Those are rare", she exclaims. There's silence between them for a moment before she dares to suggest, "Hey, uhm... Would you like something to eat?"

"I'm starving", he states and utters a laughter. She slaps his shoulder playfully, but it actually hurt so Sehun raises his hand to massage the sore spot.

"Well then it's your lucky day. I'm going to order pizza."


	28. Interrogation

The bright lights of the room hurt Xiumin's eyes. The lamps are white and make a buzzing sound. Those are like the ones in school. Lots of bad memories from that place. Lots of bad memories to be made in this place, too.

His hands are cuffed to the table. There is nothing but a big mirror and two police detectives in the room with him, sitting around a table, Xiumin on one side and the detectives before him, the male beta lion and female beta cheetah. They have badges hanging around their necks but other than that they look normal office employees. They look serious. 

Xiumin lowers his head. The detectives have already asked him a few questions but he is reluctant to answer any of them. Because the detectives keep thinking that he's some kind of rebel when in reality he's just a shy wolf.

"Junghoon Arctic Fox was the one who told us where you are", the cheetah detective says. Hearing that name makes Xiumin's blood boil. He knew that Sehun's father didn't like him, probably even hated him, but this... why didn't he just kill him at the lake? It would have saved him from a lot of trouble. "Minseok Lynx."

"Or should we say Xiumin Grey Wolf?" the other detective chimes in. Hearing that name makes something burn in Xiumin's heart. A want. "What is your relationship with the son of Junghoon, Sehun Arctic Fox?"

Sehun is in Xiumin's mind every single day he spends in that chamber. He would lie if he said that he's not in love with him. They could easily put him to a polygraph and find out that everything he says is true, everything from not working with the wolf clan to that he's in love with Sehun. 

He hasn't much to do in the chamber, so he's occupied with the dreams and memories. Three weeks since he last saw Sehun, less than a week until he has to say goodbye to the whole world. But he's not ready. Just when he's ready to live, they can't take life out of him.

The only solace being that the execution will be painless.

"...I am in love with him", Xiumin confesses. The detectives look at him with genuine pity. 

"Have you worked with him in order to take down the cat clan?" the cheetah detective asks. Xiumin shakes his head rapidly.

"I've told you already that there is nothing I could gain by destroying this clan. I have no reason to do so. All I wanted was a peaceful life in the wolf clan, but... I ruined it."

"How did you ruin it?" 

"I... fell in love with someone I shouldn't have. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time", he exclaims. 

"That's too bad. You told us that this was your father's fault, he played with your genes in order to make you fully canine and not live in this constant conflict that he lived in. Can you prove this?"

"...My father's diaries should still be at my old home", Xiumin explains, seemingly frustrated with having to repeat himself over and over again. 

"We were at your old home", the lion says. "Your mother confessed to having burned all of the diaries."

Xiumin's head falls against the table. His only ticket to being understood, the only ticket to freedom is now taken away from him. He mentally prepares himself to say goodbye to Sehun and his family.

"Can I... go home... for the last time...?" he wonders. The detectives glance at each other once.

"I'm afraid not."

"Can I... see my family...?"

"We told them that you would like to see them", the cheetah says. Xiumin raises his head to look up at the detective with pleading eyes, hoping for a positive reply. At least Irene... He was always there for her. And Kyungsoo, the youngest brother was always so silent. Sometimes Xiumin went into his room without knocking and teased him with all kinds of pranks. Kyungsoo could take a joke, so seeing Xiumin do this only made him happy.

And the older little brother was always joyful. He was head over heels for one of the alphas in his school and had been for the past five years. Five years seemed like a long time for Xiumin when he was still at home, but now five years seems like a distant dream that would never be reality. It's just five days.

Xiumin has planned everything that he would say to his little siblings once he saw them again. He would hug Irene so tight she couldn't breathe and talk to Chanyeol about the alphas that he had been seeing lately, and do some stupid pranks on his youngest brother who recently became too old to piggyback. His words, not Xiumin's. 

"None of them wanted to see you."

All of the plans Xiumin had for his little siblings crumble. He was waiting for too much, asking for too much. Of course his family don't want to see him anymore, now that they know he's a beast. But don't they have this wolf inside of them? Xiumin doesn't understand why he was cursed to be this way while his siblings can be free, be happy and not worry about accidentally killing someone every month. He doesn't want to be like this. He just is.

"...Can you take me back to my chamber now?"

"We need to ask you who took you to the wolf clan", the other detective reasons. Xiumin sighs deeply. Of course they want to know. 

"Delta... Wolfgang Fennec Fox", he replies honestly. If he has to die then he doesn't care what kind of consequences this has. He tells the numbers of the license plate, the model of the cab and what the delta looks like.

"Thank you for your cooperation. Now we would like to hear the names of the other canines that were involved with you." Xiumin has nothing to hide. He tells Jongdae's name but he hasn't much to tell about the traitor. He tells about his grandfather, the grey wolf living in the forest. He figures they must already know about him since they came to look for him there. He doesn't tell about his current business of helping clan refugees but says that he was involved in the clan wars.

The detectives wanted to know about a few more things but he doesn't have anything more to tell. He's already told everything and a little bit too much.

Finally the detectives uncuff Xiumin and lead him back to his isolation chamber. There's a narrow hallway, white and bright lights blinding the lynx-wolf. He keeps his eyes closed as they take him to his chamber, one with metal door and no way to see outside. There is only one way to see inside the room through the glass on the door. There is a hatch before the glass that can only be opened from the hallway's side. There is also a hatch at the bottom of the door where the prison cleaners can slide in food, also opened from the hallway's side. 

Inside the cell is nothing but a bed and a toilet. Xiumin literally has nothing to do. Not even look outside. This kind of isolation makes him crazy. The only activities being sleeping, dreaming, eating and going to the toilet. There's not even a sink where he could wash his hands, but the cleaners are usually so nice that they slide in extra cup of water so they can wash their hands. Two times a week they can shower... with a guard. Xiumin never thought that he would not be embarrassed about getting naked in front of an alpha officer and washing himself thoroughly. He got used to it pretty quick, though. And sometimes he has even more audience! He might even have the luxury of two guards watching him shower! 

Those two times are also the times he gets to change his clothes into clean ones. He has come to love Saturdays and Wednesdays. And his execution date is conveniently Wednesday. Hopefully he can shower before that. He wouldn't want to leave this world dirty.

He goes to his bed and lays there, flopping on the hard mattress. The strings shriek. He hears nothing but some clanking and the thermostat humming after that, and the soothing sound of his own breath as well as the rhythm of his heartbeat. Slowly he's going crazy. Every day is unbearable and dragging. The good thing is that he has lots of time to think about his stories. Though nothing to write down to. He can't have a pen because they're afraid he would kill himself or one of the guards. They should know that he's not violent. Does he seem violent? He lays in bed every day with his legs up against the wall and arms wrapped on his chest, staring at the small crack in the ceiling. He wonders how much force it would take to make the ceiling collapse on him.

He's not sure what days are, what hours or minutes are. And he feels so bad for all the other prisoners who have to stay here longer than him. At least he can leave this place soon, even if not alive.

The hatch opens. It's already dinner time. They get food only three times a day and he has no idea at what time. They don't even have a clock here. He only knows his execution date because of the detectives. They were kind enough to tell him what day it is and how long it is for his execution... They kind of keep mentioning it.

He walks to the hatch when the cleaner takes so long to close it. He takes the tray of something that looks like mashed potatoes but he's unsure what it is and two glasses of water. The cleaners were nice again. Why, Xiumin doesn't understand. Why would they feel pity for criminals who have committed treason and are about to be eliminated - these criminals have earned their own undoing. 

Under the plate lies a note, written with messy and shaky handwriting on a paper that looks like it's ripped from a notebook. When Xiumin reads the note further, his eyes widen. It's a letter from Sehun. It says that he's working here as a cleaner. 

For a little moment Xiumin feels some solace inside his heart. After that, he goes to the door, sits before the hatch and waits for the next meal for hours, the only thing going on inside his head being Sehun's gentle voice.

Hours go by. Xiumin feels the need to use the toilet, but he doesn't. It might mean missing Sehun's hand when he offers the next tray. Xiumin's eyes are fixated on the hatch. His back aches from sitting in the same position for so long, and his butt hurts from the hard rock floor. It's all concrete... 

He scratches his palms nervously, so that blood starts dripping on the floor. Felines and cervines don't have the same kind of scent for blood as canines and ursines. Xiumin scents the blood deliciously. It reminds him of the time he marked Sehun as his own, just a month prior... 

Then the hatch opens. The hand slides in with a tray of food and two glasses of water. When the hand lets go of the tray, Xiumin snatches it. It's big and pale, like it hadn't seen sun in years. The fingernails always look like they could use a trim.

Xiumin interlaces their fingers together and feels warmth move from his hand into his heart as well as tears brimming in his eyes. This is definitely Sehun's hand.

"...Xiumin..." the voice from behind the door whispers gently. His soft, soft voice. Just hearing it brings the lynx-wolf in tears.

"...I've missed you so", Xiumin cries, keeping in the sobs. 

"...I can't stay... or talk... but I promise that I'll find a way to get you out of here", Sehun whispers.

"No, Sehun... Don't put your life in danger because of me..."

"I already did", Sehun's voice quivers. After that he lets go of Xiumin's hand and closes the hatch. Xiumin can feel his steps through the door as he walks to another chamber, sliding the food in. The dishes are taken when they're having a shower... That's when they clean the chambers. Every Wednesday. 

Xiumin stays before the door and cries, staring at the food before him. He tries to get himself together, take the food in his hands and eat it, but he just can't swallow it. It looks and tastes like gravel. He leaves the muddy paste in the corner of his room like he always does, and drinks the two glasses of water. 


	29. Like a Canine

The two detectives, male beta lion and female beta cheetah, walk out the interrogation room with Xiumin. Sehun is just sweeping the hallway when he sees the three approaching. When he sees Xiumin, all sweaty, dirty, drenched and sick, his stomach drops. The lynx-wolf has a frown on his face, but when he looks up and sees the cleaner, his whole demeanor changes. A smile spreads wide on his face and it looks like color gets back on his cheeks. His eyes look less tired.

Sehun bites his own lip and looks down with pain in his heart. His whole body feels like it just went to a turmoil. He grips the broom tightly and sweeps the floor, staring at the dust piling at the end of his strokes. He glances at the door when it's locked behind the lynx-wolf, the beta lion staring at him intensely. Sehun doesn't say anything. 

The lion walks up to him. The fox tries to ignore him.

"I haven't seen you around here before. What's your name?" He has his hands in his pocket and legs spread apart. He's bulky and tall. Sehun clutches onto the broom and makes sure to not raise his head. He hopes that his ears don't flash under his beanie and that he has enough snow leopard perfume. He was pretty sure that nobody would care about him being a cleaner... He thought he could be air. In other circumstances this might be nice, but now his whole body starts shivering. Hopefully the man puts it under social anxiety. 

"...I'm... Lee... My name is Lee..." he says shyly. 

"Hi, Lee. I'm Yue", the detective smiles. Sehun glances up at him and flashes a smile. Then he keeps sweeping the floor, hoping that the lion doesn't continue talking to him. Why can't he take a hint? "How long have you been working here?"

"...Just a couple of days..." Sehun confesses, now tugging his beanie and looking down. He prays to a higher power that the man would leave him alone.

"Pretty new, huh? Well _pretty new_ , don't look at the prisoners in the eye", Yue laughs and starts walking to the other direction, into the police department. Sehun's body keeps quivering and he takes a deep breath. Another uncomfortable situation avoided.

***

Sehun sweeps the floors of the prison again. He keeps eyeing the clock. It's dinner time soon. There are ten prison chambers on this aisle, but only six of them are occupied. The one closest to the entrance is Xiumin's. Sehun has been ill-advised to look into the chambers through the glass. They said it might disturb him. Well, he didn't listen to the instructions. But he needed to see which one was Xiumin's.

When the clock hits three o'clock, Sehun takes the broom and marches into the cleaner's area. Everything he needs is in the same room. The people in the kitchen have made the meals and Sehun has to serve them. One at nine in the morning, one at three in the day. His shift ends after that, but in the evening there's another cleaner who brings the last meal to the prisoners. 

The fox slides the meal in every prison chamber, leaving Xiumin as the last. At the last prison chamber he is greeted by Xiumin's grabbing hand. Again. Xiumin's grip only tightens. He whines that he needs Sehun to stay with him and talk to him, but the fox hears steps coming to this direction. He has to whisper as quietly as he can that he has to go, someone is coming.

The lynx-wolf lets go and pulls his hand back, Sehun closing the hatch immediately. The hatch closes and the door to the aisle opens at the exact same time. It's the detective again. Sehun doesn't look at him in the eye, but the lion greets him with a wide smile and a happy hello. Sehun has to reply.

"Hi..." he says when he stands up, not even looking at the guy in the eye. He walks over to the cleaner's area, trying to shake the lion off his feet. The steps echo behind him, however. Sehun's hands become fidgety and his body starts to shake. Why won't the lion just leave him alone?

The detective follows the fox to the cleaner's room where he tries to close the door on Yue's face. It doesn't seem like a success though, and the detective looks at him hurt. Sehun's heart starts beating faster and he looks nowhere near the man's face.

"You look familiar. You look a bit like someone..." Yue exclaims as his gaze burns on Sehun's skin. The fox's eyes are fixated on the ground. There's some dust. He has to wipe it off.

"Ah... The police captain... His wife's sister is my mother..." He isn't lying. Imagine his surprise when he heard Biyu's mother talk about her sister who ran away and never came back. Said she had found love in another clan. And when he saw her pictures, he just knew. She looked exactly the same as in the photos that his father kept. 

"Oh... I've seen his wife in ceremonies. She's beautiful. I bet her sister was too", Yue says as he raises his hand to caress Sehun's cheek, the latter immediately backing away and gasping. He looks up at the lion with a shocked look on his face, startled by the sudden contact. The detective smiles gently. "You're shy, aren't you?" Sehun blinks rapidly. His heart is beating out of his chest. "Don't worry. I won't bite."

And with those words he's just gone. He leaves the cleaner's room and Sehun alone, the latter taking deep breaths now to try and calm himself down. 

***

"Hey, Yue", Sehun starts as he walks to the beta lion, shyly playing with his fingers as the lights of the hallway slightly flicker ominously. Yue looks at him gracefully. "If I wanted to talk to one of the prisoners... how could I do that?" The lion smiles widely. It looks like he had been waiting for this as his mischievous grin spreads wider. Sehun looks up at him with big eyes, trying to stop his heart from beating out of his chest from sheer terror.

"Nice try", Yue says as he pulls Sehun's beanie off. The fox immediately raises his hands to cover his ears as his heart jumps in his throat. His body becomes completely stiff as the lion walks a bit closer to him. He presses them close together. Sehun worries, mouth drying, not wanting to look up. "Sehun... You smell like a canine."

The fox starts shivering as soon as he hears his name. Did he know all this time? Why didn't he say anything? Why, oh why did he ask Yue about meeting prisoners? It must have given him off, blown his cover and now he is completely under the other's authority.

"You look just like your father. That's why you looked familiar", he says with a gentle voice and caresses Sehun's cheek. The fox whimpers and tries to take some distance between them. The noise hitches in his throat, however, his tongue sticking on his palate and words become mumbles. Yue pulls them closer without a warning. "Oh no, you're not going anywhere. If you want to see your love again and don't want me to tell the authorities, I have a little task for you."

Sehun gulps. He looks at the ground and bites his lips while praying to some higher power that he could be set free. An overwhelming feeling of disgust washes over him, pulling him under, swallowing his heart whole as his chest sinks. 

"When your shift ends, wait for me in the cleaners' room. I'll come pick you up. Then we're going to my place. And just a piece of advice... Even if your daddy is a big name in your clan, he has to let his son pay the price for illegally crossing the clan borders. Junghoon is a responsible man... He wouldn't let you get out of this just because you're his son. And neither would the authorities of this clan. So... be a good boy, Sehun", Yue smiles and leaves a gentle kiss on Sehun's forehead, making the latter feel even more filthy. 

The beta lion walks away, not even once glancing behind himself to see the fox quickly putting the beanie back on his head, collapsing on the ground and sitting against the wall while shivering, like he was cold. As soon as the door closes, tears rush down his cheeks. Probably all the prisoners can hear it. Not only did he blow his chance of seeing Xiumin, but he also blew his cover. He has no idea what the lion could have in mind, but the way he touched his cheek and kissed his forehead... No, he doesn't want to think about that. He couldn't... could he? 

Sehun looks around himself. There is nobody here. His shift should end in an hour and that's when he has to wait for the lion. He cannot fathom what might happen if he disobeys. And he definitely cannot continue working like this. 

He crawls to the door where he knows Xiumin is and leans against it with his whole weight. He knocks on the door and open the little hatch, the lynx-wolf shifting towards it. Slowly and hesitantly his hand reaches out to grab onto something, and he is greeted by emptiness until Sehun takes his hand in his, sobs escaping his lips, tears dropping on his chest.

"I heard... everything", Xiumin confesses. "Are you alright? You're not going to do what he tells you, right?"

"I-I-I have to-", Sehun manages to stutter out. "He's threatening me, Xiumin. And I can't spend any more time away from you, I have to find a way out. If he tells my father, I'm screwed. And worse, I would be taken back to wolf clan to be under surveillance twenty-four-seven. I can't take it anymore."

The fox holds his stomach and presses his cheek against the metal door, crying and sobbing loudly, so much and audibly that every single prisoner can hear. He doesn't care. Now everybody will know that he is the big bad wolf's lover. It won't matter for long, though. If Xiumin is leaving him, then he's going to end his life at the same moment Xiumin ends his, and that's how it's going to end for them. 

The grip on his hand tightens. Xiumin leans on the metal door as well, pressing his cheek against it and letting the water flow from his eyes, down his cheeks to his chin and finally drop on his clothes. 

"...No. Don't put your life in danger because of me. Go back to the wolf clan. Go back to your father. He loves you. You'll get over me. You'll find someone even better than me. You will... have a great life without me, and I'll stay here to serve my sentence."

"No, no, no", Sehun shakes his head and sniffles. "I'm not leaving you."

"Think rationally for once, Sehun. You love me now but what about a year from now? Two years? Five years? Don't take away your freedom just because love me _now_. You have so much to give and to experience", Xiumin explains, trying his hardest to make his voice stable and not nasal. He fails at both of them, though. 

"...But Xiumin... You're the only one in this world who has ever got me... You're the only person who makes me calm and makes me feel like I belong... You're the only person I've ever felt the pull so strongly with..." Sehun whines, his voice and body shivering. He raises his hand to dry his tears. "...I'm so scared..."

"...I know... I know... Me too..."

***

After that little crying session, Sehun got up and tried to do some work. However, his whole body feels heavy and his feet drag on the ground, the mop feels like it weighs a ton and his face is swollen and red. He doesn't have anything more to do, so he sits in the cleaner's messy room and stares at the ground. For the cleaner's room, the room is pretty dirty itself. 

Sehun can't stay still. His hands keep shaking and he cannot concentrate on anything. His head keeps spinning and he wants to hurt himself on anything that would cut him and tear his flesh, just to relieve this tension. He knows that it wouldn't take it away, but at least it would make him feel something else.

When the door opens, he almost throws up. The beta lion walks in and rather than a smirk taking over his face, his face is filled with worry. It looks genuine and Sehun doesn't know how to feel about that. He's either great at faking or doesn't want to rape a boy who looks as pathetic as Sehun.

The older man walks to the fox and sits next to him. Their thighs touch. Sehun's body tremors from the contact and his whole being becomes uneasy, his heart beating rapidly from fear or what's going to happen next. The lion pulls the fox into a hug, pulling off the latter's beanie, caressing his back. Doing things that might calm him down if the person was Xiumin, his father or even Wolfgang or one of his father's guards or maids.

"You look so pretty when you cry", Yue whispers to his ear and Sehun only gives him more of what he wants. But after that, the older man stands up, offers his hand to Sehun and the two of them make their way into the lion's car. 


	30. Where the Feelings Are

His feet dangle off the bed and almost touch the ground. He doesn't move a muscle as his gaze is glued to the ceiling, tears rolling down on the mattress. His hands rest on his stomach and as he takes a deep breath from all the sobbing, his elbows come closer to his chest.

It still hurts, what happened just yesterday night. Sehun told Biyu that he couldn't go to work today. Even if he could see Xiumin there, he just couldn't get up from bed. And now, coming up with a plan to save Xiumin from the prison seems impossible. Now that Yue knows, he'll be keeping a close eye on Sehun, or, _Lee_. 

It's hot in the room. The window is open, letting the chilly air inside. The door opens as he sobs, now quickly raising his arm to hide his tears under it. He's only wearing a black, saggy t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Such casual clothing and a mess, he still looks good. He fell down in that position when he came home this morning, after spending the whole night with the lion. 

"I'm worried."

It's Biyu. Sehun's _cousin_. 

Sehun doesn't say anything as the leopard makes her way to the bed and sits right next to Sehun, looking down at him upside down. He tries to swallow his sobs and hide his tears to the best of his ability, but the alpha isn't impressed by this. In fact it makes her brows furrow in thought and some kind of worry takes over her face. She sighs deeply to this view, gently touching Sehun's arm.

"About you..."

"...You weren't--" Sehun starts but his words stay in his throat and he has to swallow and sob once to get some kind of noise out of him. "...You weren't before we found out we're related."

"...You're kinda like... Long lost family..." Biyu exclaims as she caresses Sehun's arm. It makes him more uncomfortable than calm at the moment. "Mom and her sister were really close, you know. She always talked about auntie with such longing in her voice. And I thought that... that maybe... if she hadn't ran away... me and you... we would've been best friends."

Sehun sniffles. It's sweet, the way she talks about him like they actually knew each other. But it's so painful, because on the back of his head, Sehun cannot stop imagining what it would have been like to live here with Biyu, to at least _have a friend_. 

"Mom and auntie would have established the company together. They would have been the omega sisters who rose to the top from very poor family. And together they would have shared the admiration that my mom receives."

It's all just ifs. Ifs don't make Sehun feel any better. _If_ he lived in the cat clan, he would have met Xiumin before. But _if_ he did live in the cat clan, he would have also had to look like one. And he _would_ be afraid of the big bad wolf to death, just like everybody else.

And _if_ he hadn't fallen for Xiumin so deep... Then he _wouldn't_ have been violated the way he was last night. His body trembles just thinking about going back to work and seeing that wretched lion. He can't help himself from feeling utterly disgusted and ashamed. 

"Tell me, Sehun... Why didn't you go to work today? I was at the company but I kept thinking about you all day." Her voice is so sweet, so caring, and the way she speaks makes Sehun yearn for a mother figure he thought he would never ever want in his life. "Is it because of Minseok...?"

Of course, everything is about Xiumin! He's the source of all problems! 

...But also, in order to feel something positive, you have to be prepared for something bad. After all, that's just how life goes.

"...Xiumin... I can't see him... Ever... Again..." And those words make Sehun tremble even more, his head aching from all the crying, probably nearing dehydration.

Biyu takes this as her cue to lay down next to him and hug him, lay Sehun's head against her shoulder and dragging his arm away from his face. He looks up at her hesitantly before turning to her and wrapping an arm around her, her red dress. She lets her high heels drop to the ground and white dress jacket cover her shoulder. She pulls her white long hair behind her and starts caressing Sehun's hair softly.

The fox-leopard feels slightly ashamed, still. His heart warms a little. If he had the courage, he would tell her what happened last night. He would tell her how he, a detective, should be sentenced to prison for sexually abusing a member of another clan. 

But Sehun knows that this is a secret that he will, out of shame, take with him to grave.

"...Life goes on, Sehun..." she says with a sweet voice. It is so sweet that it makes his heart ache. His head is face-to-face with her chest that is almost exposed due to the lack of fabric on her dress, a view that a lot of men would definitely appreciate, but Sehun only finds comforting - comforting that the person he's with isn't a man. "Minseok wouldn't want you to be this way. He would want you to go back to your father and live your life to the fullest, freely. I know this because I know Minseok."

"...Y-you don't understand, Biyu... I'm not free... Just like he isn't... My paranoid father keeps me locked up in my room and now he's forcing me to get married with a girl I don't even know... God knows how much money she owns and how locked up she's going to keep me, just because my father tells her to..."

Biyu looks at the wall with narrowed eyes before letting out a simple and sympathetic hum. 

"...Our home is always open to you. You are a part of our family."

***

The next day Sehun can barely drag himself out of bed. He draws his feet on the floor as he makes his way to the captain - the father snow leopard has offered to take him to work, though usually he lifts a ride from Biyu or simply walks to the prison. 

But now the old man sits inside his car in silence and waits for the fox-leopard. After Biyu spilled the beans about him being partially fox and essentially her cousin, Sehun has felt a lot safer with them. The old snow leopard hasn't really warmed to the fact that he's mostly a fox, though. He should not be in this clan and he should be handing him over to the authorities of the other clan - to Junghoon himself.

They both sit in silence. The old man takes note of the younger one's gloomy demeanor and his droopy eyelids. He looks seemingly exhausted yet he's done nothing in the past day, nothing but lay in bed and sleep. 

"Is everything alright, son?" the old leopard asks. Sehun doesn't even move his head to see him. The dust flows in the car and the traffic outside is noisy. They haven't drove very far from home yet they're already stuck in traffic.

Sehun doesn't have energy to reply. His arms are hanging on his sides and his neck doesn't seem to be able to support his head's weight. The old man shrugs it off and doesn't pay attention to it.

The fox's head is empty. His limbs feel like they weigh thousands of kilos and his body cannot support itself. He can't make any sense of time or his surroundings. Even Xiumin's upcoming execution seems surreal. 

It's not that he can't fathom what's going on - it's just that it all seems to be unreal. Like a movie was going on around him and he is but a mere bored viewer. Could somebody switch the channel?

The drive to the prison doesn't take that long, even with all the traffic. It's not that Sehun paid any attention to it, either. His eyes were clued to the floor.

Once the car stops, the old man takes the younger one's arm in his hand. He grips it firmly, almost hurting Sehun. But the fox doesn't even flinch. 

"When I ask you a question, you answer it, alright?" he asks sternly, looking at Sehun dead in the eye. The fox simply nods tiredly, mechanically, leaving the old man wondering if he even registered his words. "Then answer me. Biyu is worried sick about you. Are you alright?"

Sehun takes a moment to gather himself. The man shakes him lightly. He's not being aggressive, but he is growing more and more agitated. 

"No", the fox simply replies with a soft voice, his mouth barely moving. Then the old man lets go and Sehun trudges onward. The sky is grey. It's going to rain soon. Sehun doesn't lift his gaze from the pavement, however. 

His body moves on autopilot. He doesn't pay any attention to his surroundings, doesn't look around, doesn't say a word. 

Until it's finally time when he brings the prisoners their food. He falls before Xiumin's cell, hands him his food and just stays there, leaning on the door and wailing. It's here where his emotions come back. It's here where his feelings are. 

The lynx-wolf walks to the door as well, his feet dragging heavily against the floor. He has nothing but ragged tennis shoes on, ones that seem to have been used over decades. His steps are light, though dragging - he's lost so much weight he wouldn't even trigger a land mine. 

He sits before the hatch and stretches his hand under it, to feel the pavement of the hallway. Sehun stares at it. His skin. His pale, bony fingers. If only he could see Xiumin, other than his hand and hear his voice. 

He puts his own hand on the other one's, tracing his fingers along the veins that are visibly popping up from under his skin, making his hand look even more sick. And as he holds the hand, his tears simply fall on it, wetting the hoarse skin. Then he leans down, reaching for the hardel, until his lips brush over the gruff surface. 

"Sehun", a faint voice whispers. Sehun leans nether, now opening his mouth to sob against his skin. "Was it yesterday that you didn't come see me?"

"I'm sorry", he whimpers. "I couldn't. I couldn't see him again."

"Who?"

Sehun shakes his head. He can't even voice his name. Even if he wanted to tell Xiumin, he knew that saying the detective's name out loud would only bring him here. But maybe the lion could leave him alone now... 

Sehun thought that this would grant him the permission to visit Xiumin, but he was mistaken. The detective didn't let him proceed. He just used him for his own sick pleasure and cared nothing about the victim. 

"It's alright, Sehun. Everything's alright. Everything's gonna be alright", Xiumin assures, though his voice is barely audible due to the little strength he has left in him. But these are all lies to the fox.

"Nothing's alright", Sehun whispers, his tears cascading down his cheeks. Then he starts shaking his head to keep his whole body from trembling. "I can't live without you."

"...I know. That's what you told me."

"I refuse to go on."

"Sehun, please", Xiumin pleads with a tired voice. He moves his hand so that he can try to dry the tears from the other man's face. Sehun holds onto him like his dear life depended on it. "You can't die just because of me. You have a whole future ahead of you. You will find happiness."

"Stop it. Stop... Stop it... I can't..." the fox sobs so loud that he has to put a hand before his mouth to keep himself from alerting everyone inside the facility. If the authorities knew that a cleaner was conversing with one of the prisoners, they would surely fire him.

He hears steps from outside the door to the chambers. He quickly, yet reluctantly, closes the hatch and stands up, showing his back to the door and making his way down the hall into the cleaners' room. Just as he's at the door, he hears the front door open and his whole body becomes stiff, anxiety peeking. 

He doesn't dare to move his head. His neck has become solid. 

Just then he hears whistling. Whistling of that detective. He goes into the small room to get away from the man, but quickly feels something choking him. Nobody has touched him, yet it feels like somebody's sitting on his chest. His vision starts blurring as he hears the steps closer to the door, closer and closer, until the steps are right behind them. 

Sehun hugs his knees on the floor and shivers uncontrollably. The man behind him tsks before closing the door behind himself slowly. And Sehun just saw black.

"You shouldn't be talking to the prisoners, Sehunnie", Yue says with a honey-like voice. Sehun cannot open his mouth. 

The lion kicks his back and takes his beanie off before starting to pull his ears. Sehun whimpers but does not resist. He understood pretty quick that not doing what Yue says is just bad business.

"Maybe I should make that clear for you again", he says as he forces the fox on the floor on his stomach. Sehun keeps completely still as Yue twists his arms painfully behind his back and he lets out a shriek. "You don't talk to the prisoners. You don't talk to _your lover_. You do everything I tell you to, or otherwise I will take you to the authorities - and I'm not talking about the captain."

The fox doesn't say anything. He only eats the dirt as the lion keeps pulling his ears and making him cry harder, like a bully in the kindergarten's sandbox.


	31. Execution

The door opens. It's heavy, dragging the ground. So are his feet as he tries to stand up - he cannot raise them one bit. 

The prisoner looks at the heavy reinforced door and sighs deeply as he sees the two detectives with two more guards. All of them have riot gear on, as if they were going against a crowd. The isolation chamber, however, is occupied by only one inhabitant. The lynx-wolf looks unamused, even daring to crack a joke before his due.

"I'm not _that_ dangerous", he spits out, eyeing the guards from head to toes. The two guards approach the prisoner and start dragging him from his arms. It's not that they had to drag him, Xiumin's not fighting them. It's just that the authorities would like to deal with the business much quicker than the captive. 

The lynx-wolf doesn't dare look at Yue. If he does, the wolf inside him might just break free. Sehun never told him what Yue did, how far he went, but he knows that something went on. He's heard their muffled conversations in the hallway and every day Sehun has been more broken than the one before. If he now knew where the fox was, he would make a run for it and embrace him, if just for the last time. 

But he does not know. He does not have a sense of time at this point anymore. No sense of his surroundings, how people function, or even how it was to shower alone without anyone watching. What it was like to have something to do, oh, the luxury of being able to do _something_! Anything! 

Yue stands before the prisoner. The latter looks at the ground before closing his eyes, taking deep breaths in order to keep the wolf in. 

"Wooing the cleaning lady and brewing up a getaway plan is, in fact, pretty dangerous", the lion hisses and leans closer to the lynx. Instead of sadness or fear for his own life, Xiumin feels great anger and frustration. Frustration for not being able to tear this man into shreds. 

He breathes deeply until the beta lion takes some distance and the guards start to escort him into... the execution chamber? Xiumin doesn't know how executions are usually handled at their clan. They're not public, that's all he can recall. 

But now, being taken to the place where he's supposed to be executed, he doesn't dare to look up. There's no point in seeing anymore. His heart beats rapidly, sure, he's afraid of what comes after death, and he cannot help feeling nervous. And all this entangles into hatred and frustration inside his ribcage, like somebody was sitting on his chest and the only way to push them away was to let the wolf free and wipe out everyone near him. If only he could be left alone in the final moments of his life, if only he could at least see his family, or the person that he currently cares about the most. And his grandfather! What happened to Old Wolf? Is he simply just idling in the forest, continuing on with his life as if they had never met? What is he doing? Why isn't he coming to save him?

And the worst of them all, Junghoon... Sehun's father who ratted him to the authorities of the cat clan. He swore that he wouldn't see Sehun again! Then why did he do this? 

He should have killed the wolf at the lake when he had the chance. Now Xiumin is sure to haunt him until the rest of his days. 

To his surprise, he's brought into the guards' barracks. He hears chatter and laughter echoing in the room, the security conversing to each other. And suddenly, the room drops silent. Xiumin can feel their gazes burn on his flesh. Suddenly he hears whispers, the men and women, alphas, betas and omegas, all uttering the scary words to each other: _Dà Huī Láng_. Xiumin feels like a tourist attraction. Oh, he should have charged them from eyeing the sight. 

He wouldn't be surprised if the execution was made public. Who wouldn't want to see the infamous big bad wolf get a bullet to his head, chest, or to be hanged, or poisoned, maybe? Maybe they were feeling creative and decided to torture him to death and air it to the whole clan. That way at least his whole family could see him in his final moments! 

He clenched his teeth, bitter by the mere thought about his family. He knew that his mother hated him from the very core of her being, but he at least thought that his siblings would support him, believe him, love him. Though, of course, she must have filled their heads with propaganda... She must have told them that Xiumin did this while he was fully conscious, that he murders out of sheer bloodlust, that he isn't actually her child, that he is a psychopath, ignoring the fact that he literally looks exactly like his mother, and so does his sister! 

If only he could see them now, he would punch them in the face so hard they regretted the day they were even born. If only he could wipe out the smug look from his mother's face.

For just one time, he wanted to see compassion in her eyes. She was always selfish, always thinking about her own needs and worrying sick about them. It was never about her children, just her and this stupid clan. Everything she's ever done is out of fear of the bear clan that would surely soon attack their clan and force them into submission with an iron fist. 

...But what would he know, after all? Xiumin has never been a big fan of politics. His mother always said that only adults discussed politics - adults that had finished school. So Xiumin was forced into staying a child for the rest of eternity. 

...Minseok was forced into staying a child. To be forced into being someone he wasn't. To be a husband, to be a father, to make kittens to populate the clan struggling with infertility. 

It was never about what he wanted, what he wished. Just his mother's sick, black and white way of viewing the world. Ever since being born, his life was written by his mother who wanted him to be perfect, his mother who crumbled under the fact that he isn't, in fact, all that she wanted. 

Finally he is taken into a small, dark room. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, except blood on the walls and the concrete floor. There are no windows and the light bulb that's hanging from the ceiling is illuminating light just barely.

The two guards, not detectives, take him inside the small room. The heavy door bangs shut and the two bulky men force Xiumin on his knees, facing the back wall. He grits his teeth. He is unable to keep his body still, it keeps shivering. Surely anything would trigger the grey wolf inside him any minute. He wouldn't even have to do anything to make the guards scream like little girls and run away for their dear lives. They haven't even seen the big bad wolf. During full moon, he only transformed at night. Everything during that time is a blur, of course, but nobody seemed to know that it had happened. Maybe it was calm...

"Can I say my last words?" he wonders. The guards shrug.

"I guess so", the man has oddly feminine voice for such a masculine individual. 

"I want my mother to know that she made me like this. And that I hate her. Nothing else", Xiumin explains. The guard looks at him puzzled before nodding slightly, even though the prisoner cannot see. 

He feels a cold pipe against the back of his head. Just one pull of the trigger and his brains would be splashed onto the concrete wall before him - ah, and then, no longer pain. He wouldn't have to yearn to touch Sehun anymore. Knowing that Sehun stays here to miss him makes him at ease and sad at the same time. It makes him want to fight for his life.

But his body is weak, and the wolf is silent. Tears run down his cheeks as he wonders what will be in two minutes - will he see his life flash before his eyes? Will he run towards the light? Will his last breath be an exhale or an inhale? 

He's ready for the bang, but instead, only the door bangs open and his heart jumps in his throat.

"Stop the execution!"

The voice sounds familiar. Xiumin doesn't believe it at all.

"By the order of the wolf clan, I demand that this half-wolf will be spared." 

Xiumin lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Tears rush down his cheeks and his whole body falters, though just seconds before it was tense and still like he was impaled by an iron bar. 

He cannot fathom what is happening, his whole world is spinning and he drops onto the floor, like he had been shot nevertheless. The guards take their distance as the politician from the other clan walks to the lynx-wolf and squats right next to him, observing his panicked face. Xiumin doesn't dare to look at him in the eye, so he just stares at the wall, not blinking, not swallowing, hardly breathing.

"Is that legal?" the other guard wonders and scratches his head. Now the detectives walk into the room as well, looking as puzzles as the other guards. Junghoon turns to them and flashes a concerned look that would convince anyone. Yue doesn't look him in the eye.

"I searched through the papers and yes, what I'm doing is legal, and what you're doing is not. You cannot kill the offspring of a wolf inside the cat clan - we need the clan court to sort this out", he explains. 

"But you're the one who turned him in", the female detective points out, making Junghoon raise his finger and glare at them. Xiumin hardly understands what they're on about. There is no clear line of thought that he could follow. His life should have ended by now.

"I am afraid there's been a misunderstanding. My son's... ex-lover... wanted a revenge..." Junghoon seems reluctant to voice this out. Talking about his son's love life isn't something he's comfortable sharing, even though he knows that gender is not something the felines consider to be an important factor. 

"We know that they're lovers, Junghoon, you don't need to explain it to us", the female detective keeps talking, the other not once sparing a glance in their direction. 

"Right... Well my son's ex-lover wanted his current dead", the politician explains and turns back to Xiumin who tries to wrap his head around all this. Junghoon didn't want the cat clan to kill him after all. 

"That's too bad. Still doesn't give you the right to do whatever the hell you want, Mister Arctic fox", she hisses. 

"I am aware. I do, however, have the right to save someone who is a decent person apart from his wolf form. His wolf form is untamed and needs to be calmed down. That way he can have a chance to live", the fox explains as he helps Xiumin on his feet. He puts his arm behind the wolf's back and supports him. Xium's feet drag on the floor and his look is on the ground. 

"The way we _all_ have a chance of survival is to kill that bastard", Yue finally growls lowly. Just hearing his voice fuels rage inside Xiumin. Seeing the lion become so ashamed of himself before the father whose son he abused is just odd to the wolf. He has acted all high and mighty before him and the younger fox that seeing him become so obedient before someone more influential is almost poetic. 

The lynx-wolf raises his head and almost laughs at the odds for his survival. He did not die today, though he was expecting for this date to be the one where he loses his consciousness for good! What are the odds? He wants to kiss Junghoon for giving him another chance at life, even if this man threatened to kill him for dating his son. 

But hey, what's the point in holding grudges?

"Don't tread on the big bad wolf", Junghoon exclaims before starting to make his way out of the small room. The guards give them space. Even Biyu's father is there. Him and Xiumin share brief eye contact that makes Xiumin all the more dizzy. He would recognize that greying beard anywhere. There is something in the old man's eyes. Pity? Remorse? Pain? All at the same time? 

Xiumin's heart starts aching, like someone had just punctured it with a needle. Breathing hurts, his windpipe is on fire. Somebody heavier is now sitting on his chest and he could almost pass out from the wave of anxiety that shakes his body violently.

"Where is Sehun?" Junghoon whispers in Xiumin's ear. The wolf can hear worry radiating from his voice. Of course, the man isn't here for him but for his son. 

"I don't know", Xiumin replies back with half the words inaudible. His throat has dried out from all this.

Suddenly the door flies open and a wild Fennec fox peeks his head through the doorframe. 

Xiumin can hardly keep in the vomit when he sees the canine. Sehun's ex-lover turned him in. So, in other words, Wolfgang? Only he would be sneaky enough to gain access to Junghoon's files, his phone, his office. Only he is the one who's still in regular contact with the two. Why he isn't behind locked bars, Xiumin cannot comprehend.

"There's a problem, Junghoon, and we have to run", he exclaims out of breath. When he sees that the fox and the wolf just stare at him with surprise, he almost growls and starts jumping on his place. "We have to hurry!" His voice is loud and angry, making everyone in the room jump. And the guards stare at him intently - Wolfgang does definitely not look like one of Junghoon's typical chauffeurs. 

"What's the problem?" Junghoon asks, walking towards the other fox. Wolfgang takes steps back, growing more and more anxious.

"Sehun!" he yells out, making Junghoon let go of Xiumin immediately and leaving him to support himself. The wolf, after hearing Sehun's name, becomes more vigilant. If something has happened to Sehun then he doesn't care about a little panic attack and near death experience. Sehun is, to all of them, much more important than anyone else in the world. 

"Where is he?!"

"In the car- We have to get him to-" Wolfgang cannot finish his sentence as the worried father is already rushing towards the car, out of the building. He runs with the speed of lightning and Xiumin is inevitably the one who's left behind. He tries his hardest to keep up, but he's been insufficiently fed, watered and rested for the past month. There is not way that he can run on their heels. 

When the light of day hits Xiumin's eyes, he's almost blinded. Sweet air! Sweet sun! The sweet breeze caressing his face! Oh how he's craved for freedom! 

The parking area has a few cars in there. The father and the other fox fly the doors open and immediately the shocked face on Junghoon's face makes Xiumin worried. He feels a nervous clench in the bottom of his stomach. The worst scenario comes to mind.

When Xiumin reaches the car, all he can hear is Junghoon's sobbing. He sees Sehun sitting in the middle of the backseats, in the middle of Junghoon and Old Wolf. The old man is holding his left wrist up, with some bloody rag pressed tightly against the skin. Junghoon is cupping Sehun's pale face and trying to shake him awake, but the boy's eyes stay closed and no reaction comes from him. He keeps checking the pulse from his neck.

"We have to get him to a hospital", Old Wolf exclaims calmly, though everyone else is panicking. 

"We can't, we're canines, they won't-" Wolfgang tries to reason, his speech so fast that they're barely understandable. He is cut off by the emotionally enraged father.

"Cost what it cost, take him to the nearest hospital", Junghoon cries. 

"I'm sure they would love to help us and save a life, but we're canines-"

"So what if we are?! I said that I'll fucking pay for it so you don't have to worry damn about it!" the man screams, bringing everyone on the edge. Xiumin quickly walks up to Wolfgang who's standing outside the car, the door open to the driver's seat.

"I know a doctor. They have helped many canines in this clan", he tells the fox who looks at his ragged clothes. He looks just like he's escaped from prison... 

"Fucking drive us to them, then", Junghoon says hurriedly and the lynx-wolf sits down at the wheel. Wolfgang hurries to the other front seat.

And so the pack of canines drive through red lights, dodge other cars, almost run over pedestrians and violate almost every single traffic rule that's written in the law. They get a _lot_ of stares from passerbys. Wolfgang would love to be the one driving the car, but unfortunately they don't have the time to listen to Xiumin explain where the location of the clinic is. 

The father takes his son in his arms and Old Wolf rushes out with them to hold Sehun's wrist up in order to keep the blood loss at minimum. Xiumin opens the door for them and looks for Doctor Ming from his private clinic. Wolfgang is the one tailing behind now.

An androgynous looking person's eyes open wide as they see the five canines approaching, most amazed to see Xiumin in prison clothes. Then their eyes shift to the unconscious young fox.

"Please, doctor, help my son", he begs and the doctor immediately opens the door for them. There's a simple hospital bed in a small room - Xiumin remembers this as the place where he learned that he indeed does not possess a womb. 

Doctor Ming checks a few things before confimrming, "He has lost a lot of blood. I will have to do a blood transfusion. His bloodtype?" They look at the canines, waiting for someone to give him the answer. Their eyes shift to Junghoon who immediately replies.

"O."

"You can wait outside."

All four of them let out a sigh of relief for the meantime as they sit down. All of them are worn out. One lynx with prison clothes, one old, grumpy and depressed wolf, one taxi driving fox with big ears and huge circles under his eyes, and lastly, the neatly dressed politician fox who's gripping his own hair out from his head.

People look at them for a long, long while. Most of the customers are still felines. Some of the customers have beanies on, so they look at the canines with a shy smile. But still, the clinic is small, and not many people visit it.

Xiumin tries to wrap his head around everything, though it seems impossible. The panic he felt before has now calmed down to a manageable degree. To think that just an hour ago he was in his cell, waiting for the guards to take him and his life. And now, he should be worshipping the ground under Junghoon's feet for saving him. Or maybe, he should be beating up Wolfgang so bad that he couldn't walk for weeks!

"This is all my fault, all my fault, I should have let him be, I should have let him out more often, I should have supported his life decisions, I should have been with him more, I should have spent more time with him, I'm so stupid, selfish, ignorant-" Junghoon repeats in whispers. It makes all the other canines just uncomfortable.

"This isn't your fault, Junghoon. I am the one who should apologize... from you, Sehun, Old Wolf, and... Xiumin", Wolfgang hesitantly confesses. Junghoon turns to him rapidly, starting to shake him from his collar. The younger fox's eyes fly open as the other one starts spitting on his face. Junghoon is fueled with rage.

"It is your fault! You're right! You're the one who introduced _my son_ to drugs, sex, and now, even suicide attempt!" His words are full of salt and bitterness. Wolfgang doesn't dare to look at him in the eye anymore, so he simply loosens the man's grip and stands up, walking to the other side of the hallway to wait for the doctor.

The overall procedure doesn't take long for the doctor and their nurse. When Doctor Ming steps outside the hospital room, he only turns to the father whom they seem to recognize. Why, of course, everybody seems to know Junghoon Arctic fox.

"Junghoon, I assume?" they ask. The father nods. His eyes are red and he wipes his tears. Wolfgang and Xiumin look at him with pity. Surely, they may be obsessed about his son and had relations with him, but the kind of love and affection they feel for the young fox is nothing compared to the paternal love Junghoon feels for his one and only child, his last remaining family. "Your son will be fine. Physically, at least. Now we just have to wait until he wakes up." 

"How long will that take? We have to go to wolf clan", Wolfgang wonders, making the doctor turn around and face him. 

"Unfortunately, I don't know. I believe that the three of you should leave", Doctor Ming points out, looking at everyone but Junghoon respectively. "There is an arm chair in the hospital room. You can stay and wait for your son to wake up. We would offer you a bed, but all the beds are reserved for patients only... I hope you can understand that."

"We're staying here", Wolfgang mutters, earning a head shake from Junghoon.

"This is already illegal enough as it is. Go to the wolf clan. I'll be back with Sehun after we know he's fine", the father reassures. Wolfgang grunts something before glaring at Xiumin, making the latter most uncomfortable. He doesn't want to leave either. That would mean a long, long drive with just his grandfather and this wretched fox.

Old Wolf stands up already. He's walking to the doors that lead outside. But the young wolf and the fox have a long and hostile staring competition. Suddenly the memory of the fox pulling out a pistol and pointing it to his head rush to his mind. He had never forgiven what he'd done, he had just decided to not care about it since he was doing a great job escorting Sehun to him in the middle of the woods. 

The tension in the room could almost be cut with a knife. 

"How can I be sure that you don't murder me?" Xiumin wonders out loud.

"Come on, Xiumin", Wolfgang utters a desperate laugh. "I saw what it did to Sehun. And believe it or not, I care about him."

While still staring at each other with hostile glares, the men stand up and slowly make their way to the delta's taxi. 


	32. War

"You should have never, ever, shown your face in our clan! I can't believe that I ever helped you get into _my home_ , my motel, my... _my_ Sehun!" Wolfgang rages as he hits the wheel. 

The wolves on the backseat take a deep breath and just listen to his rambling. Wolfgang has not had a cigarette since this morning and it's showing. Xiumin turns to his grandfather who's staring out the window, his arms crossed on his chest and a beanie tightly tucked on his head to cover his big, grey ears. The farms flash by as they reach the countryside. The children open their mouths wide and point when the car drives by, as if the taxi was a sighting. Living in the countryside is rough, and it's even worse in the wolf clan. 

The warmth of July engulfs the canines in the taxi as they start sweating. Another heatwave that's just worse the closer you go to the wolf clan. The two wolves on the backseat have to start undressing themselves as the fox in the wheel just screams all the heat out. Xiumin understand why he's mad, he's shocked about what Sehun did as well. He could not but blame himself for what happened to the young fox. After all, he was the one coming into wolf clan to try and find himself... though Sehun was the one who kept on pursuing him.

"Sehun has never done anything bad to you! God, I should've just killed you when I had the chance! Now if I do so, Junghoon will rip my head off for hurting _his son_ by hurting _his son's lover_ \- to hell with you and your fucking half-canine ass, you're- you're just toxic!" Wolfgang spits out, probably not comprehending half the words he says himself. His arms are trembling and he drives unsteadily, shaking the car like a smoothie. 

"If I recall correctly, you were the one who gave Sehun drugs. And introduced him to gangs and such. You hold onto him and hurt him. If you ask me, you're the one who's toxic", Xiumin huffs, making the fox almost run the car into a tree. The eldest of the three glares over at his grandson, eyeing him from head to toes. Xiumin takes this as an act of hostility. "I was just about to be executed! Killed! I have all the right to be angry! Especially at the man who tried to kill me!" 

"You do. You should be angry. But you have to learn to channel it", Old Wolf replies, completely drained of empathy. This just appalls Xiumin. 

"I was just about to be _killed_! How do you channel that?!"

Old Wolf only turns his head gently to stare out the window again. He stares at the trees flashing by and the open fields where some felines have been working for hours already. They have straw hats, self-made most likely. Xiumin shakes his head before glaring back at the fox who just seems to be on the verge of exploding again. His hands shake so much you could see anger flowing right through his veins.

The bumps on the road make all of them growl a little, and this only encourages the younger canines' rage. The driver makes, through the mirror, such a look at Xiumin that would make anyone scared. The lynx-wolf, however, has been through hell and is not easily spooked by such gazes.

"If you don't shut up, you won't be just _almost_ dead, if you catch my meaning", Wolfgang dares to say. Old Wolf finally turns to the two again, this time even opening his mouth.

"You are still young. Of course, in your age, I used to take threats like that to heart as well", he reminisces. "Yes, of course, after getting death threats on the daily, they kind of lose their meaning. I fought in war, you know. You couldn't fear death back there."

Xiumin and Wolfgang immediately fall silent. Xiumin has respect for his grandfather, truly, for fighting in the war and surviving it, it must have been hell. It must have been way worse than what Xiumin and Wolfgang have ever gone through, even though Xiumin would never admit that he had any sort of empathy for the sly fox.

The next kilometers of the trip fly past in silence. Sometimes the younger canines glare at each other, Wolfgang almost jerking his hand to make them drive off the road and pulling his pistol out of the glove compartment. Xiumin remembers how the cold muzzle felt against his head and he was shaking in fear. And the night after, when he told Biyu, and the next time he saw Doctor Ming, when everything went to shit... 

There were three times when he was looking at death straight in the eyes. Wolfgang, Junghoon, and then the guards in cat clan. Everyone wanted him dead... except himself, Old Wolf and Sehun. 

Xiumin, again, feels like life flows through his whole frame. Maybe he was meant for the road, to run away from death. When he was depressed in his home clan, he wished for nothing but to die. Now, when he has something to live for, has something to hope for, he doesn't want to die. Rather than wanting death, he has come to fear it.

He throws a poisonous look at Wolfgang again before turning his head and gazing outside, recalling everything that Old Wolf has ever taught him - about war, about living, about dying. 

***

The bright lights assault Sehun's eyes. He squints, trying to gather in his surroundings. Surely, this is the afterlife. He tries to get used to the light, reminiscing the last moments that happened right before he passed out. He was in the cleaners' room's bathroom, sitting on the floor and crying his heart out. The blade hurt against his skin as it tore open the flesh... 

The last thing he remembers is that his thougths were blurry, so was his field of view, as the tears cascaded down his face and the blood spilled from his wrist. Surely he was dead now. He walked towards the light...

He blinks a couple of times before understanding his surroundings really. His head is still spinning and his memories a blur, his thoughts not coming together to form anything sensible. It's all just ramblings inside his head.

Just then he notices the tube in his wrist and a big patch over his wounds. He tries to shift it, get rid of it, but nothing comes of it. The wound is patched tightly and there is nothing in this world that could perish it. 

The bed he's laying in is soft and cozy. And the position he's laying in, with his back slightly more elevated than his lower body, laying in an almost sitting position. It's so comfortable Sehun could just fall back asleep... But instead, he turns his head to the right with the best of his ability, to see his father sleeping in an armchair. His head is leaning back and drool is coming out of his open mouth that's letting out deep snores. His arms are wrapped on his chest and his legs are crossed. 

Tears come up in Sehun's eyes again as he remembers the reason for why he feels so shitty and why he attempted to kill himself. It finally dawned to him that he in fact is not dead, but in the hospital. And now, waking up with his father, means that his father found him, and that Xiumin is-

Xiumin is...

And in that moment, Sehun grows younger for over ten years. He reaches out his right hand towards his father and utters the word "daddy" so softly that he barely hears it himself. There's a lump in his throat that doesn't disappear by swallowing. There's a hole in his heart that doesn't disperse with stitches.

He reaches his hand forward, now desperate cries leaving his lips. He just wants to touch something, _feel_ something, to remind himself that he is actually alive, to feel like he's real.

His desperate whimpers finally make the father convulse out of his slumber and dart his eyes on his son immediately. He stands up in the matter of seconds and rushes over to the younger one who breaks down physically and mentally when Junghoon traps him in his arms and almost crushes him. Sehun wraps his arms around his father and buries his face in the crook of the older fox's neck, just trying to gather himself.

They stay like that for a long while. Sehun can feel his father's body starting to shiver as his embrace tightens. He leans on the hospital bed now. No words are exchanged, nothing but tears and whimpers. 

Junghoon finally releases his son from the asphyxiating hug. Sehun takes some distance on the bed to make some room for his father, then patting the empty space next to himself. Junghoon catches his drift and plops down, Sehun immediately jumping back against him and hiding himself from the world. He's small, the thoughts of his abuser come to his mind and Xiumin's execution, everything, and it just makes him want his father to comfort him even more. He just feels like a child who needs his father's care.

The father tries to collect himself as his tears drip on his son's hair, seizing onto the black strands like morning dew. Sehun's body tremors violently in his arms.

"You made me so worried", Junghoon finally confesses, the only words that he's able to utter out at the moment. Sehun raises his legs to make himself even smaller.

"I'm so sorry- I won't leave home again, I won't go out again, I won't do anything again, just please- please take me home", he cries. "I wanna go home, daddy."

Junghoon hugs him tighter and stays quiet again. His son's tears drop on the blanket that he's covered under. The words he said are so out of this world, so uncharacteristic of him. The father knits his eyebrows in worry. 

"You... want to go home?"

"Yes", Sehun says and nods his head rapidly. 

The father stays quiet. He leans his head on his son's, caressing his cheek and drying his tears. If only there was a way of making him open up to him. The only thing he ever wanted was to keep Sehun safe and out of harm's way, but hearing that he _wants_ to go home just doesn't add up. Sehun sniffles.

"...Just... tell me why", Junghoon demands, now releasing him from the hug and trying to make eye contact. Sehun looks down at his lap and forcefully turns his head away from his father. He raises his hand to detach his father's hand from his face, drying away the tears, and then hiding his face behind them. Junghoon caresses his hair and tries to see through his fingers. The bright lights seem to make Junghoon's eyesight blurry.

"...Why...?"

"Why did you..." Junghoon tries to elaborate, but the words get stuck in his throat. He flails his hand as if it would make the words come out of him forcefully, but nothing comes of it. Sehun doesn't say anything and he cannot say the words out loud without starting to sob, making his words completely incomprehensible. 

Sehun shakes his head, as if he didn't know the answer himself or didn't want to answer. Either way, the reply is insufficient to the elder who now starts drawing calming circles on his son's back. 

"...Sehun... Tell me... Please. I know I haven't... been the best father and I know I should have been there for you more and... and I should've let you out more often and spent more time with you... I promise I won't let you out of my sight anymore, I promise I won't make you marry a red fox if you don't want to, I won't force you into anything, just stay with me." Junghoon tries to right his wrongs. "I just want you to be happy."

"Dad... Is Xiumin..." Sehun starts, completely ignoring what his father just said, voice muffled behind his hands. The things he went through the last week is too much to comprehend and all he needs is some love to make him feel something positive again, like he wasn't a shattered porcelain vase. 

"Is this about Xiumin?" He lets out a breath. "Xiumin is fine."

Sehun withdraws his hands from his face and looks at his father with red eyes, squinting because of the tears and the light. His mouth is gaping slightly and his breathing is abrupt. Junghoon looks back at him with pain in his eyes, as red and as small. 

"You're... kidding... right?"

The father shakes his head and utters a smile. Sehun closes his eyes and lets out a sigh of relief. His throat aches from all the crying already. 

"...How...?"

"Me, Wolfgang and Xiumin's grandfather came to the prison to stop the execution. I persuaded the guards by telling them that they could not slaughter a member of our clan." Sehun opens his eyes again, shocked to hear his father say these words. Junghoon rubs his face, sniffles and dries his tears from his cheeks.

"...A member of our clan...? Dad, this means-"

"War. It means war." 


	33. Chapter 33

"Sehun... You know you can tell me anything, right?" Junghoon asks from his son who's sitting right beside him in the car. The young fox has his arms wrapped on his chest, a huge bandage on his wrist to keep the cut clean. It's already evening, Sehun keeps looking outside the window that shows a view of the sunset and the slum of a city. "So, whatever happened in the cat clan... you can tell me. I'm not forcing you to, you tell me if you want to."

Sehun doesn't say anything in response, just keeps looking at the city where some poor stray dogs keep begging for money, their cups reached forward in case some nice soul would be dear enough to keep them fed for a day. He has never really thought of himself as a benefactor, but the dogs look so miserable... They need somebody to help them. And Sehun, as well as his father, are very well off. They should give to the poor.

The driver sniffles. Sehun immediately focuses his attention to the delta who's often driving the politician from one clan to another. He's checked the son out a couple times without Junghoon noticing, and Sehun has blatantly flirted with him. Of course the married man would never confess this and if Sehun said anything, the man would surely deny everything. 

The father sighs deeply and reaches his son's shoulder to land his hand on it, noticing how Sehun startles by this action. 

"You're on the edge", he says. Sehun spares a look in his way, blinks a few times blankly and then turns back to the window. They're almost home. He can already see the fence and the guard at their door, oh, how many times he has had to slip through that jackal. 

Junghoon shakes his head and gets out of the car, walking to the side where his son is sitting and opening the door for him. Sehun still keeps looking forward, as if through the window, through his father. He doesn't move a muscle until Junghoon leans closer to him and caresses his cheek, staring fondly at his face that's puffy from all the crying.

"Xiumin is waiting for you inside", he says and utters a gentle smile, but his eyes are full of pain. Sehun raises his head slowly to meet his gaze until he gets out of the car with his father's help.

The door opens and the head of the lynx-wolf peeks outside, a beanie tightly in his head and his big eyes shining when he sees the fox. He walks down the steps. Sehun hurries to him and jumps in his arms, throwing his arms around the other one's neck and squeezing him ever so tightly. Xiumin closes his eyes and Sehun between his arms. Neither of them can keep in the tears when they can feel each other again, feel that they're safe again.

Junghoon walks over to them, looking at Xiumin who after opening his eyes, notices this gaze. He meets his eyes and tears go down his cheeks. 

Without saying a thing he walks into his house, leaving the two outside. Wolfgang glares out the window at the two who keep holding each other tightly. Xiumin's hands wander down Sehun's back, making sure that he's there, real, and definitely not dead.

"You're not dead", Sehun cries. Xiumin shakes his head rapidly.

"Not today", he assures.

After a while they let go and just stare at each other. Sehun caresses Sehun's cheek and is overwhelmed by just feeling his skin. He lets his thumb cross his face and let out a sigh or relief. Xiumin grabs his hand and interlaces their fingers. 

"...I thought I'd never see you again. I thought I'd... leave with you at the same time", Sehun says as Xiumin hovers over the bandage on his wrist. Xiumin knits his eyebrows together.

"All of us were so worried, all four of us." Sehun utters a smile.

"I'm glad... that you didn't let me down."

He leans in to place a kiss on his lips. It's been too long since he tasted him, his bitten lips, and scent his dominant alpha scent that makes his knees buckle. He takes his lower lip between his and Xiumin pulls him closer, not getting as near as he would as he feels all the eyes on them - the big bad wolf and his male lover.

They soon make their way into the mansion where Wolfgang and Junghoon are already fighting, the older fox complaining what kind of mess Wolfgang got them into, but the younger one defending himself that it was and has always been Xiumin's fault. Old Wolf sits on the couch in the living room, scratching his ear sometimes and listening to the two yelling. He is completely indifferent to their conversation. Only Xiumin walking into the room makes him somewhat more aware of his surroundings.

The lovers sit on the white couch right next to Old Wolf and look up at the foxes who are at each other's throats. Junghoon flails his hands in the air and Wolfgang is threatening to leave, letting Xiumin be Junghoon's responsibility alone.

"Whatever happens now", Junghoon starts as he walks in a circle, now pushing Wolfgang away from himself. The delta sits down on an armchair in front of the couch where the three others sit while the alpha fox is walking between them. "Only one thing is sure. Something bad will happen to Xiumin. And we have to prevent that."

"Why? Can't we just kill him?" Wolfgang spits out, making Xiumin glare at him. Wolfgang just shrugs it off. Junghoon walks over to the delta and starts pointing his finger.

"He is my son's lover and as long as my son loves him, he will stay alive", he says. Wolfgang rolls his eyes and crosses his legs, throwing his hand on the arm of the chair. "The cat clan will accuse our clan for murdering dozens if not hundreds of their people. They will want justice but they know they're outnumbered when it comes to manpower. No matter what, we need a clan court. I will have to work as a diplomat for peace between our clans and vouch for Xiumin."

"The cat clan wants him dead. There's no doubt they'll affiliate with the elk clan to turn our clan on its' head", Wolfgang says.

"First of all, I haven't killed hundreds of felines", Xiumin chips in. "And if it comes to that, I'll... pay the price for it."

"Just shut up", Sehun says, now glaring at his lover. Xiumin looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and pouty lips. "We didn't go through this shit just to go through it again."

"If the bastard wants to die, let him die", Wolfgang says without any passion for the lynx-wolf. They can almost hear Sehun starting to lose his temper. 

"That is so insensitive. Get your head out of your ass", Sehun growls when he turns to look at the older fox, his face red from anger and crying. The wet stains are still visible on his cheeks. Wolfgang doesn't even look at him, just mutters something and looks at the ground.

"...What happens now?" Junghoon sighs heavily and sits down on the sofa table in the middle of all the two couches and two armchairs. He leans his head on his arms that rest on his knees. "...I don't know if I can keep you here. Surely, I could protect you for some time, but then what? The authorities will force me to hand you over. Hell, they'll grill me about the stunt I just did as well. I'm going to get eaten alive... And so is everyone who's associated with Xiumin."

"Well there is my cabin, in the woods", Old Wolf finally speaks up, drawing all the attention to him. "But that's off limits now. After you... raided the place."

"We're sorry about that", Junghoon apologizes.

"Are we?" Wolfgang asks.

"Yes. We are." Junghoon turns to look at Wolfgang with a knowing and desperate look in his eyes. The younger fox glares back at him with his stuck up manner. "There is a way. Elk clan accepts refugees."

"No. I'm not taking them to the elk clan."

"Not even for your and Sehun's safety? I understand if you don't want to protect Xiumin and his grandfather, but look at my son for a moment in the eye and say that you don't love him anymore. Say that you're over him. Say that every inch of your being is not screaming out of jealousy when you see him with Xiumin", Junghoon says, making Wolfgang's expression turn to one that's filled with hatred. His breathing pace becomes quicker and he glares at all of them one at a time, evaluating how much anger he really feels for each of them.

"If you weren't a politician living in a mansion with guards around you twenty-four-seven, I would have forced him to stay with me a long time ago", Wolfgang confesses before hissing, almost as if regretting his words. His hands shake. Withdrawal symptoms.

Junghoon stands up and walks up to him, now smacking him across his face. He kneels before the other fox and grabs his chin, intimidating. Sehun and Xiumin witness the scene while clutching onto each other. 

"This is exactly why I hate you. You are exactly one of those people who I try to keep him away from, and still- still he went out and found you! Just, how?! I don't even understand how such a shitty person can exist! And now I, the most influential fox in the whole of the canine clan, depend on _your_ help, _you_ , who are the stereotype of all the foxes, the worst scum of all the clans! Do you know how fucking desperate I am when I am asking for _your_ help?!" Junghoon yells at his face, now uttering a sarcastic laughter as if he was crazy. "Do you know how fucking deep in shit I am right now?! So if you don't protect my son with your whole life, I am going to rip your head off and throw your remains for the birds to eat. And yes, I have money to hire someone to do it for me and get rid of the evidence."

Junghoon stands up and pulls his hair out, now starting to walk in circles again. Sehun hugs Xiumin tightly. The last time he was this scary was at the lake... and just yesterday he was so loving. But Sehun does understand, his father is stressed about his safety and about his own life. If everything goes according to plan, they should dodge a war from happening. 

Wolfgang mumbles something again, holding his cheek. Junghoon doesn't even look at him anymore, in fear of letting his anger get the best of him.

"...Alright, _your majesty_ , I'll take them to the elk clan. I guess it's the safest place for me to be as well at the moment..." he says. Junghoon only hums in approval. "Not that I was afraid of you."

Wolfgang stands up and makes his way outside. He's already fumbling something from his pocket - cigarettes. Sehun nuzzles against Xiumin to feel at least slightly safer. Xiumin doesn't expect anything in return as he holds Sehun in his arms, petting his hair fondly and calmly. 

Junghoon takes a deep breath as he finally plops down on the armchair, leaning his arms against his knees and dropping his head into his hands, rubbing his face. 

"I... just want you to be safe", he says when making brieg eye contact with his son who looks back at him with fearful and defeated eyes. "Wolfgang will have to keep you safe... And if... if something happens to you, Sehun, then... You can tell me anything... You know that, right? You should know that..." 

Sehun nods slightly. He interlaces his and Xiumin's fingers. The lynx-wolf hushes him, silently telling him that it's okay as Old Wolf stares into the distance with worn out look in his eyes, with a look filled with secrets. 

"You'll leave tomorrow. The sooner the better", Junghoon says. "We'll... see again some day."

"Dad", Sehun calls out, making Junghoon raise his head immediately. "...How long will it take...?" His voice is gentle and hurt. It hurts the father.

"...I don't know. A month? A year? Nobody can tell."

"...So... You're finally letting me leave home...?" he wonders. Junghoon sighs deeply and drops his head back into his hands. 

"...I have to. I have to protect you. I'll protect your... boyfriend... too..."

Sehun lets go of Xiumin and walks over to his father, leaning towards him and hugging him tightly. Junghoon rests his head on his shoulder for a while before wrapping his arms around him as well. He stands up and hugs his son tighter, resting Sehun's head against his shoulder and letting him cry there.

"...I'm sorry I can't come with you. It's better if we don't see or hear about each other before everything's calmed down."

"I don't wanna leave home, daddy."

Junghoon closes his eyes in pain and holds Sehun tighter. Those are some words he didn't think he would ever hear. Always away, always on the run... How could someone like him _want_ to come back into this cage?

The father breaks the hug and holds Sehun by his shoulders. The son looks down at the ground and keeps sobbing, every once in a while sniffing and raising his hand to dry the tears and wipe his nose. 

"...What happened to you...?" Junghoon asks with the most genuinely worried voice. "You were always on the run, always doing stupid things whenever I couldn't see. Why do you want to stay now?"

Sehun doesn't say anything, just raises his head slightly to meet his father's eyes. The tears cascade down his face, the skin red from the outburst of emotions. Junghoon can't look him anymore, just closes his eyes and pulls him back into his arms, fighting back his own tears.

"I love you so much, you know that, right? If I could keep you here then I would. But this is for your own safety." Sehun nods his head but can't keep in the sobs. His heart starts beating rapidly in his chest as he thinks about telling them what happened in the cat clan. He wants to tell his father and let him beat the lion personally, but when he opens his mouth, nothing but whines come out. Junghoon hushes him and pats his head, caressing his hair.

Sehun buries his head in the crook of his father's neck and keeps himself there, in safety, for a long while before he turns to see Xiumin, the lynx-wolf who's almost shedding tears himself. 

***

Junghoon had to use all his strength and willpower to make Sehun sleep in his own room, without his father. Xiumin is of course keeping him company, already laying in bed on his back and wearing some spare clothing from Sehun. The fox is hugging himself on the bed and tracking Xiumin's every movement. His eyes are red from the crying and tears are stained on his cheeks. 

The lynx-wolf turns his head to stare back at Sehun who's staring at him intensely, as if making sure that he wouldn't go away. Xiumin turns on his side and moves to the same eye level with Sehun, taking the pillow with him and making himself comfortable. The windows are shut and the curtains over them, covering the rays of sunset trying to penetrate in to shed some light into the dark room. Sehun's eyes glisten in the dim light, facing the windows.

"You look like you have something to say", the lynx-wolf says, looking at Sehun's both eyes alternatively. The fox doesn't say anything, only opens his mouth to let out another sob and sniffle. Xiumin's eyebrows are knit together, worry washed over his face. "I know it's crazy to ask something like this after all that's happened, but... are you alright?"

Sehun immediately shakes his head. He takes in a deep, shaky breath before whispering, "Hold me." 

And it doesn't take Xiumin more than a second to embrace the fox, trapping him in his arms and holding him so close. Sehun wraps his arms on his own chest and leans his head against Xiumin's chest, resting his head on the lynx-wolf's arm and being pet by the other. Xiumin tugs the blanket on them and covers Sehun's body, listening to his incoherent breathing and small sobs. 

So warm yet so cold. Xiumin runs his fingers through Sehun's hair and kisses his forehead, doing everything he can to make the other feel okay. But Sehun doesn't say another word, not what he wants, not what's on his mind. His mind is filled with the memories of what happened the last week and his body starts to trembled just remembering them. 

"Shh... Everything's alright, Sehun. You're okay. I'm okay. Your father's okay... Everything is okay. Everyone is alright." Xiumin tries to soothe the other one. "Can I ask you something?"

Sehun nods gently. Xiumin takes a deep breath to gather the courage to say what's on his mind.

"What did Yue do to you?"

Just hearing his name makes Sehun shiver. A sudden flashback of how he forced Sehun to say his name creeps into his mind and what happened after that... He winces from the memory and scoots even closer, now grabbing Xiumin's shirt and crying on it. Xiumin sighs deeply. Sehun's throat and head must ache from crying all day long. 

But that also means that he falls asleep quickly. Xiumin cannot sleep. He stays in the same position the whole night, even when his arm loses sensation, he cannot move in fear of waking up the soundly sleeping fox.


	34. Listen

"I'll miss you", Sehun says as he hangs onto his father, clinging onto him like a baby. They're in Junghoon's office. The father was trying to sort out some paperwork before his son came running back to him from the horrible, horrible Fennec fox. Junghoon holds Sehun on his lap and hugs him back, his eyebrows knit together and mouth in a thin line.

Junghoon takes some distance from his son and caresses his face, drying the tears. Sehun just looks down at his lap and pulls down his white college shirt's sleeves. 

"I will miss you too. This is the last chance you'll be able to talk to me in... who knows how long. So if there's something on your mind, please say it. Please", Junghoon begs. "It hurts me when you keep things from me like that. You come here, sit on my lap and cling onto me like when you were little, and..."

"...And then you pushed me away", Sehun recalls, wiping his tears and sniffling. 

"...I'm sorry about what I've done."

"I don't wanna leave", Sehun says. Junghoon sighs deeply, sparing a glance at his undone paperwork. There's so much he has yet done. 

"This isn't a goodbye. We'll see again once this is all over. You can even sleep next to me if it comes to that, okay?" Junghoon asks and rubs Sehun's shoulders. "Okay."

Xiumin comes into the room, opening the creaking door and letting in the cold air that's dominating the rest of the building. And the tense atmosphere, looming all the way from the delta in his cab. Xiumin flashes Junghoon a smile but cannot hide the worry on his face as he sees the two. 

"We have to go, Sehun", he reminds the younger fox who nods slightly. He lets go of his father reluctantly, trying his feet on the floor like the first time he tried to walk and his father held onto him tightly, not letting go in case Sehun fell. 

And Sehun always fell, even with the aid of his father. 

This time Xiumin will be there catching him when he falls. He has his arms wide open, inviting him into his embrace. Sehun walks over to him just to trap him into his arms. Xiumin has to practically drag him out of the father's office even when the small fox tries to keep Xiumin in there. His claws are tied to this place and to his father to who he doesn't even dare to say the words 'I love you.' 

The taxi is waiting outside. Yesterday's dry weather is being drenched by today's pouring rain. The lynx-wolf doesn't have time to open an umbrella as he leads Sehun into the cab, into the backseat where the two of them can sit alone. Wolfgang is in the wheel while Old Wolf sits next to him. Without saying a word, the delta starts the engine and presses gas.

"You packed everything useful?" he checks again, just to make sure. 

"Me and grandfather don't have anything. I took Sehun's stuff to the trunk", Xiumin replies. The fox hums in reply and their journey starts with a long, long silence. The driver puts on some music from his old cassettes. Sehun leans his head on Xiumin's shoulder and almost falls asleep when the lynx-wolf pets his hair. The rain drums in an irregular rhythm that lulls him to sleep.

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

The weather turns clearer the closer they come to the elk clan.

"Of course. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence. It's always brighter in the elk clan... Always better than any other clan", Old Wolf finally breaks the silence. "I remember the clan war. We didn't attack the elk clan, no, of course not. Their tech is so much better, always has been - though we thought we were the masters of the whole animal kingdom."

Wolfgang and Xiumin listen to his recollection eagerly while Sehun snores faintly. 

"Everybody wants to be on top. It's called growing up when you realize you're the servant and not the king", Wolfgang says. Old Wolf hums in agreement.

"If only I had understood that sooner. Maybe we could've stopped a war from breaking out. I hope that this time we'll be more lucky", he says. Xiumin squints at him.

"The war wasn't your fault alone."

Old Wolf turns to look at him and they just stare at each other for a while before the grandfather turns back to the road and keeps quiet. Wolfgang and Xiumin glance at each other through the mirror. And after that, a silence falls into the cab again.

The drive is long and takes them the whole day, so eventually the old wolf falls asleep as well. That leaves Wolfgang and Xiumin the only ones awake. 

"I assume you have connections in the elk clan", the lynx-wolf starts as he adores the view outside. There are some farmers, and instead of some old, run-down villages and poor people, he sees prosperity everywhere. The farms are big, they have machinery, the cows outside look healthy and the lambs eat green grass and produce wool so white it's like snow. Xiumin has never wanted to be a farmer, but seeing that you don't have to be poor to do it, his future plans are reborn. 

"Of course I have. Don't you remember the first time we met... when I told you that I usually take cats to the elk?" Wolfgang asks. Xiumin hums, he had totally forgot about that.

"Right, back when you didn't want me dead", he says. 

"Now now, we have to live under the same roof for quite some time. We should leave some things in the past..."

"I can't just forgive you for trying to have me dead multiple times."

"I didn't ask for your forgiveness", Wolfgang says. "I don't expect you to trust me ever again. But I do hope that we can put our differences behind just for now and focus on protecting something... someone... we both love."

Xiumin turns to look at Sehun who's sleeping soundly, leaning on his shoulder. He snores a little and his breathing is abrupt from the crying and the mucus stuck in his nose. Still, in that state, he looks like the most beautiful creature on earth. 

"...If you were in my position... what would you do? Since you seem to always have people's best interest in your mind", Xiumin says. Wolfgang utters a laughter.

"I? Have people's best interest in mind? I wish I was that noble. But the truth is, if I was someone... who was born as someone like you, partially wolf and partially lynx, with the wolf inside me being much stronger, yet hidden under my physical form... I think I'd go mad. I think I would force Sehun to be with me."

"You are borderline obsessed with him."

"Tell me you aren't and I won't forgive what you just said." Xiumin turns to look at Sehun again. He looks adorable. And the scent... the pull... it's all so powerful, taking over his whole body. How could Xiumin resist? Sehun makes everything okay. The turbulence inside his head calms down when he's around. "I look at you two and my heart starts aching. Just because it's you and not me. Just because you're holding him and not me. Just because he loves you more than me."

Wolfgang's expression changes. He takes a deep breath and focuses on the road, batting his eyes to blink away the tears. 

"How does someone so pure and beautiful always fall for monsters..." 

Xiumin only shakes his head. 

***

The elk clan. The countryside was prosperous, just imagine what the city is like. The breath-taking skyscrapers leave Xiumin clutching onto his seat, dropping Sehun's head from his shoulder and successfully waking up the fox. He snaps out of it and is soon adoring the sight himself. 

The busy streets, the perfect concrete that doesn't have any cracks in it, and now, during nighttime, the whole city is lit up. Neon signs flash, some that lead to bars, some nightclubs, some malls, some small boutiques. Everything is colorful, even in the night. People are dressed nicely, some men and women are wearing suits and some women wear fanncy dresses. The amount of people walking the streets leave the canines breathless.

And then there are robots - some small flying bots that keep an eye out on people and also play music. 

"God almighty", Xiumin breathes out.

"It's so big... so beautiful..." Sehun gasps when pressing his cheek against the glass, trying to get a glimpse of a skycraper's top. Even Old Wolf has woken up, adoring the scenery as well. 

"Do you like downtown elk clan? My friend lives in the suburban area, he owns a detached house with his girlfriend. Wait till you see them. They'll love you, I'm sure of it", Wolfgang says with a genuine smile. 

"Is the house big enough for all six of us?" Xiumin asks.

"No. There's a guestroom and a basement. I always live in his basement when I come over. For safety reasons. He doesn't know we're coming, so let's hope he's home. But first we have to request for residence permit from the clan migration management in the police department."

"Uhh... Those are some big words", Xiumin says. Wolfgang nods a couple of times.

"You can't stay in the city before getting a permit. And trust me, you don't want to find out what happens if one of those eyebots finds you without a permit. A permit allows you to do anything that a regular citizen of the elk clan do, apart from buying or owning land or an apartment. Renting is fine. You also cannot marry anyone here unless you've become a citizen yourself... To become a citizen, you have to stay here without leaving once for a whole year and then you have to do a bunch of paperwork and get a microchip installed in your neck", Wolfgang says, making the two in the backseat spin from all the information. 

"A microchip in the neck? Sounds awful", Xiumin worries. Wolfgang nods.

"It is. So let's hope that we don't have to stay here for a whole year. If it comes to that, we have to get one of those chips..."

Wolfgang drives to the elk clan police department and tells all of them to get out of his cab. Sehun immediately takes Xiumin's hand in his own and refuses to let go, making sure that he's safe and not forgotten into the mass of people. 

They hear a robotic voice from behind them, speaking in a feminine tone.

"You have expressed prohibited behavior. A fine of 126 dollars is charged directly from your bank account. Have a nice day."

Xiumin and Sehun's eyes fly open as they hear the amount. 126 dollars? Is the inflation so bad in here or what? 

"126... sounds like he might have expressed some political opinions out loud and an eyebot was in the hearing range. Remember kids, the government always listens", Wolfgang says as he opens the door to the PD and walks in the room first. There is a moose with a police officer's uniform sitting behind a desk and she looks at the four with a bored expression on her face. She looks like she's had just about enough of this for today. Wolfgang leans against the counter and flashes a boring smile at the lady behind the desk.

"How may I assist you tonight?" she asks with a rather bored tone. Even her eyes are droopy. Usually the cervine are open-minded, but this individual is judging hard their appearance, their ears and tails. She turns up her nose, as if she smelled something foul. 

"Me and my friends would like a residence permit." _Friends_. Ugh, Xiumin cannot fathom the thought of him and Wolfgang being _friends_. The lady sighs deeply and pulls out some papers from the desk.

"Sign all these. Here are some pencils. How long will you be staying?"

"It kind of depends. A month, a year. Nobody knows exactly", Wolfgang explains, making the woman roll her eyes. Wolfgang takes the papers and four pens, making his way to some waiting area where's a few couches. The three follow him.

"Looks like you're a regular", Xiumin says. Wolfgang nods. They sit down and sign all the papers, most of which just ask for consent on numerous elk clan laws and regulations. The paper even says, with a big font, that you cannot stay in the elk clan without ticking all the boxes.

So they tick all the boxes.

After that's done and checked, the lady gives them all little cards with their names, races, statuses and clans on them. Xiumin is an _alpha_ lynx from the cat clan - that way nobody can connect him to Minseok omega lynx, the big bad wolf.

They walk back to the cab and take their seats, fumbling their new identity cards. 

"One thing about this clan I particularly like. Nobody's gonna steal your taxi", Wolfgang says when driving away from the downtown.

***

Wolfgang drives into the driveway of some detached house and immediately a deer with antlers that look like they have some little fur on them, runs outside to greet the Fennec fox. He smells like an alpha but the sign on his hand says delta.

The canines get out of the car, surprising the deer. He takes a couple steps back, eyes open wide from the sudden group of people. Wolfgang looks back at his crew, then at the deer with pleading eyes. 

"Luhan, we need your help, you see-"

"It's better if we talk about it inside the house. Come on", Luhan says as he leads the four inside. The house is small, only one floor as well as the basement. There's a picket fence protecting the yard, or mostly making sure where the lines between the properties are.

The house is well lit and wooden. The five of them make their way into the living room where's two green couches and a TV around a sofa table. Behind them is the kitchen and the dining room. Sehun keeps close to Xiumin, afraid of the place and afraid of the deer, even though the man is all smile. His face looks friendly... nothing like Wolfgang.

"Take a seat", Luhan gestures as he sits next to Wolfgang on one couch as the other three sit on the other couch. The deer eyes them, evaluating the situation. Sehun doesn't make the mistake to look at Luhan in the eye. His claws are tightly in Xiumin's arms and his head low. Xiumin at least pays attention to the man who's about to save their asses. "Let me guess. A forbidden love story? Oh, I love those ones."

"Yes and no. More like a political problem", Wolfgang explains. Luhan rolls his eyes, wraps his arms on his chest and crosses his legs. 

"When isn't love a political problem?"

"Good call", Wolfgang says, now turning to Xiumin. "Care to explain? This is your mess, after all."

Xiumin takes a deep breath and shrugs, looking at the deer's black eyes that look soft and sympathetic. 

"How about introductions first?" Luhan suggests with a bright smile. "I'm Luhan. I'm a delta, like Wolfgang. We've been friends for years. And you are in my home that I own with my girlfriend, Xiaotong."

There's a picture frame sitting on the sofa table. Luhan is kissing a woman's cheek in the picture. Xiumin longs to have something like that. He wonders what it would be like to have a normal relationship.

"I'm Xiumin. This is my grandfather who we call Old Wolf. And this is my boyfriend, Sehun."

"Woah, woah, woah. Stop right there", Luhan sits up and raises a finger. "Sehun? Like, Junghoon arctic fox's son Sehun?"

"Uhm..." Wolfgang coughs. "It's been a while since I've visited you..."

"I've heard so much about you-" Luhan says but Wolfgang slaps a hand over his mouth.

"Since you are the son of Junghoon. And everybodys knows Junghoon", Wolfgang says as he glares at Luhan. Sehun doesn't even look at them, he only half understands what they're on about.

The deer shakes off the fox and turns his attention back to the lynx-wolf, seemingly fascinated by him. "I can't smell a lynx in here. What are you?"

"The reason why we're in this mess", Wolfgang says and plops down on the couch, crossing his legs.

"...Do you guys know about Dà Huī Láng in this clan?" Xiumin asks. Luhan's face immediately pales and his eyes grow wider, jaw dropping.

"No way. You're the big bad wolf? Everybody knows about you. I think... I think you should leave", he says without hesitation. That's when Sehun raises his head and looks at him with pleading eyes. He holds Xiumin's hand tightly and his face is red, his breathing quick. He stares at Luhan deep in the eyes.

"Please", he begs. "We can't go back to wolf clan. Going to cat clan is a suicide. So is bear clan. This is our only hope."

"And what do you hope exactly?" Luhan wonders.

"We've come a long way. Please, Luhan, I never beg from you, but now... I need you", Wolfgang says, making Luhan's head turn. "I will explain everything and we can catch up if you show Old Wolf, Xiumin and Sehun to the bedrooms."

Luhan sighs deeply and rubs his face. "Xiaotong will kill me."

"We have no other place to go", Wolfgang says.

"...There's a guestroom with a little tablet on the door. You can't miss it. There's a bed in the basement. And I guess you'll be taking the couch, Wolfgang", Luhan says. The canines only nod. Wolfgang glances at the three who know when to leave. Xiumin holds Sehun's hand when leading him into the room that has a tablet carved with the word 'Guestroom' on it. Old Wolf makes his way into the basement, wandering until he finds a place to rest his head. Luhan and Wolfgang wait until the three of them are out of sight.

Xiumin opens the guestroom door for the younger one who enters the room, scanning it from top to bottom. The walls are white and the floor is wooden with a blue carpet on it... The bed is in the corner of the room with a closet in the other corner and a nightstand with a table lamp on it next to the bed. There's a painting of a forest in autumn on the wall. The leaves are dropping from the trees.

Sehun sits down on the blue bedsheet before plopping down on his side, facing the wall. The lynx-wolf sits behind his back and rubs his side affectionately.

"We're safe here for now", he says. Sehun keeps quiet and closes his eyes. "Are you tired from all the sleeping in the car?" Xiumin chuckles. Sehun just huffs.

"I'm tired of everything."

"How so?" Xiumin asks as he lays down behind the fox, wrapping his arms around his skinny body and pulling him close to his chest. He fits his head in the back of his neck, breathing in his scent, his hot breath landing on the sensitive skin. This makes Sehun slightly shiver but quickly he relaxes. "Everything's alright now, Sehun. Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine..."

"...I'm sorry, Xiumin", Sehun apologizes with a faint voice. Xiumin narrows his eyes.

"What for?"

"For being so... negative. I mean... I am glad that we're here. And I'm so glad you're alive."

He turns around and buries his head in Xiumin's chest, trapping his body in his arms. Between the wolf and the wall, he feels protected. 

"...I'm so glad you're okay", Sehun says. Xiumin lands a kiss on his head and caresses his hair. "You make everything okay. With you, like this, I don't feel anxious and afraid..."

"Is that so?" Xiumin asks. Sehun nods, tightening his grip. "That's good."

"I want to stay here with you forever. In this room."

"Oh", Xiumin chuckles. "Wouldn't it be nice if I got a job here and we could have a place of our own?"

"Yes, yes it would", Sehun nods rapidly. "Without any icky canines or felines..." 

Xiumin chuckles, "No canines. No felines. Just us and the cervine."

Sehun smiles gently, the first time in weeks. Xiumin tugs the blanket over them and turns the table lamp off, pulling Sehun as close to his chest as humanly possible. The only noise coming into the room is the earnest chatter of the deltas in the living room. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. The story doesn't end here. I'm going to write a sequel called Xiăo Māo Māo. It means Little Kitty. Before I do that, I will finish my story Lost Star, revise my other story Stop It! (it's on AFF), probably write a bunch of one-shots and graduate from high school. I will read this story through and take notes, but I won't revise it despite the horrible grammar mistakes and plotholes it has in some points... The sequel isn't going to be as long as this one (over 100k words) but it will have its own drama.
> 
> In the meantime, you could read my other fics... :)
> 
> I'm practicing and evolving all the time, so the more recent the fic, the better the quality.


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